*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 113

Hi spain and maghu,

Thank you for patiently reading my amateur story for so long and persisting with it with your likes.It is that which prompted me to write and keep writing even when i felt tired and bored.But i am glad that i have brought the story to an end and to its most logical conclusion.I will do my best to improve my writing skills and entertain you more and more as the days go by.I wish you well and you have my deepest and most humble thanks.

Satish is a not a gifted writer but a child with an vivid imagination.I sometimes wonder why i imagine or dream so much but then that is what keeps the child in me alive.

I will start writing soon and hope to come back with some more interesting stories and characters.Until then please bear with my jokes,articles and poems.Be well.

A STORY WITH NO NAME

"Yada Yada Hi Dharmasya Glanirva Bhavathi Bharatha,

Abhyuthanam Adharmaysya Tadatmanam Srijami Aham'.

Praritranaya SadhunamVinashaya Cha Dushkritam

Dharamasansthapnaya Sambhavami Yuge-Yuge."

"Whenever there is decay of righteousness O! Bharatha

And a rise of unrighteousness then I manifest Myself!"

"For the protection of the good, for the destruction of the wicked and

for the establishment of righteousness, I am born in every age."

Hero. Who is a hero? We read about heroes, see them fight and triumph over evil and villains in movies but very rarely do we come across a hero in real life. But then when we do come across them, one takes a step back and questions this whole hero and all the hype about it. There is no tall, well built hero like in the movies, there is no beautiful woman with the perfect body but all you get is a man in a dhoti and a stick who walked, fought and got us freedom and was then killed. All you get is an old woman who went around nursing, treating more with her kind soul than medicines regardless of leprosy or small pox and we have mother Theresa. You have people like Bhagat singh, Veera pandiya kattaboman, v.o.c. and so many more. But have you seen a hero in real life. Yes, you see him or her in the mirror. It is you, it is me for we are all heroes because we fight with life against odds. we fight and live life knowing pretty well that one day we will not be there. we fight for the people we love and we take the pain, insults and cruelty and still push on living our lives for them. In the end we are all heroes and not those illusions we see in movies and the fake ones who proclaim themselves in politics and religion. Remember this always, a true hero will never admit he is one. A true hero will never reveal himself as one. A true hero will remain in the dark. A true hero will shun praises and limelight and prefer to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders and in his soul for he is made that way. A true hero is a lonely one and walks a lonely path for that is the way of god. For many to live in peace it is okay for one to suffer and to even die.

Chapter 1

Sadashivam is a retired IIT proffessor in physics and now in his late sixties spends most of his time reading journals and newspapers. His wife Kamalam is a few years younger than him and spends most of her morning in the kitchen listening to M.S.Subbulakshmi and the later part of the day glued to mega-serials and airtel super singer programme on Vijay tv.

Sadashivam and kamalam have one daughter named Malati who is now married and settled in the united states of america. She too followed her father's footsteps in the field of physics and after getting her Phd did a surprising U-turn and took up painting and pottery. Although in the beginning she did face a bit of resistance from her dad, she perisisted and continued with her passions. Sadashivam gave up trying to advice her for she was their only child and he had earned enough money for her to live her life in peace and financial freedom even if she did not earn a single penny. Sometime during the late 1980's. sadashivam and a few other faculty members had pooled in money and had purchased a few acres near muthukadu boathouse. Although it cost them nearly a lakh in those days which itself a princely amount, they all knew that the population in the city was going to explode and at some point the city would expand in all directions. Obviously madras as chennai was then called could not expand towards the east for the Bay of Bengal put a halt to that and surely not in the direction of the north for that was the dirty and lower middle class area filled with fishermen, illicit arrack and add to that the industrial spread of Ennore.The city could only expand towards the south and west and expand it did in leaps and bounds. A few years ago sadashivam and the other members who had collectively purchased the property on ECR road were shocked out of their skins when a famous builder offered them an amount of 20 crores for the land they owned. After a little bit dilly dallying they agreed and had sold the property and equally shared the cash given to them. Five of them and with four crores each and yet all of them retired IIT professors had no clue as what to do with the money. But knowing the present generation and their mindset of spending everything they wisely put their cash in fixed deposits which gave them handsome returns in interest alone. But sadashivam's daughter was just like him and refused to take a single penny from him, worked hard at her passion which soon became her profession.

Malati sadashivam became malati adams after she met, fell in love and married christopher adams. Christopher who was in Chennai as a guest lecturer for the university of madras happened to visit an exhibition where amateur paintings and pottery were being displayed and met malati. It was as if they were meant for each other and sight led to sounds of soft hellos and soon that led to a quiet dinner and quieter walks. Malati did not know then that christopher adams belonged to a very elite and prestigious family who had their roots in washington politics and roots in various other business ventures such as software,oil and publishing. But christopher just like malati shunned the money and prestige that came with his family and worked hard at academics and rose quickly in the field of Archeology. His family did not trouble him too much and as a matter of fact his dad was proud that his son christopher was doing well for himself and all by himself. It was only when christopher's family landed up in chennai for the wedding and booked all the rooms in ITC GRANDE that malati knew who christopher really was. But he kissed her and said ' you are marrying me and only me and not my family or their baggage. the marraige was a grand affair and soon malati and christopher flew off to washington where she joined an art gallery which dealt with exotic pieces from all over the world. Her passion for art and her little expertise in indian art was a big hit with her lady boss Anne mcarthur and soon when everyone came to realise that she was the new daughter-in-law of the Adams family,well that was it and she became a celebrity overnight. But both malati and her husband shunned the limelight and went about their work in a quiet and dignified fashion.

Back in chennai with his only child now in america and more or less retired but for a few lectures here and there and a few consulting sessions for publishers, sadashivam had lots and lots of time on his hands. for the first few months he sat in a dazed state and stared out of the window which left his wife kamalam mumbling ' he has only retired from his job and he acts as if he has retired from life itself.' Sadashivam was a soft spoken and a very courteous gentleman and did not think it was worth his time to exchange words with kamalam about her opinion she had of his mental state and decided that it was up to him to sort things out and occupy himself with something interesting and intelligent. One day while dusting the attic of their house he discovered a telescope that had been gifted to him a by a foreign exchange student many years ago. He brought it down and after dusting it realised that it was a pretty expensive piece of machinery and googled its worth and realised it was worth rs 50,000.And this was given to him about four or five years back and yet the piece was nearly equal to todays standards and the best part was it could be attached to his laptop and it also had provision to shoot pictures and video. That started the old man's passion for astronomy and every night after ten sadashivam went to his terrace and trained the telescope at various parts of the sky. It was a shock to his mind and being a physics addict,the heavens beckoned him with their secrets and glorious sights. He became an addict and now took up astronomy as a subject and soon became an expert at it. While sadashivam went about mumbling galaxies, supernova and discussed it with passion with some of his old students all kamalam did was mumble. Visitors to the house could hear her saying ' sani pudichirukku.Retired life santhosama enjoy pannamma,mottai madi poi enna pannraro.antha perumalauku thaan theriyum.' And sadashivam would mumble back ' sani ille,saturn.746 million miles from namma bhoomi.maramandai.'

Life was moving like this in the house of sadashivam when one day malati called him and asked him to attend the sunday auction at Murray auction house for a few weeks in hope of finding rare furniture pieces from karaikudi and madurai region and also asked her dad to keep any eye out for curios. She told him that Murray & co usually list the articles in their website before the sunday auction for that would bring in more people. Sadashivam agreed to help out his daughter and the added bonus was it would give him something new to do and also get away from the loud and boring noises of the tv set.

In his own perfectly peculiar way sadashivam armed to the teeth with his laptop, digital camera and scribbling pad went into the murray & co auction house now in mandaveli for it shifted there from Mount road due to the many disturbances caused by the construction of metro rail. The metro rail is in progress in chennai for the past five years and a whole lot of good it would do thought sadashivam as he went through the traffic piling up due to the rail project. Not one main road had been spared and for sadashivam who did not get out of his house much,it seemed like chennai had been opened up for surgery either for a multiple-bypass or a c-section. Either way he saw his emotions reflected in every chennaite " thala vidhi.one govt builds a road,another govt digs it up.If metro water and sewage dont hassle you by digging up roads then the electricity board will surely do."

Sadashivam had planned everything and thought since the auction is starting at 10.a.m, he would try to be the proverbial early bird and be there by 8.30 a.m and entering the auction hall realised that there were birds earlier than him. Out of curiosity sadashivam asked the man sitting next to him what time he had come for the auction and the man said 6.30 a.m.Sadashivam swallowed hurriedly and thought " god,dont these people have a life." The man smiled and as if understanding what sadashivam must be thinking told him " boss,this is my life and this is how i earn my living."

Sadashivam realised that being a proffessor of physics was good but it did not mean anything in the street or in general life. Why his own wife kamalam did not or had not understood the value of his field and the amount of respect he generated among his colleagues. Well he thought to himself that to do anything or achieve anything one needs to adapt and learn the ropes quickly or get left behind.

The auction started and stuff like fridges, air conditioners, old and rusty godrej bureaus were the first one to be sold and people hurriedly grabbed them in bulk. A little bit of work and painting and it would be sold for a high price. The man who had spoken to him had purchased a lot of old fridges, suddenly turned to sadashivam and said " you know, i spent 30,000 rs on this lot of old fridges but once done they will fetch me double the price. I have a daughter waiting to be married off and god know how many more fridges i have to sell."

Sadashivam said a quiet thanks to christopher and a quiet thanks to god for blessing him with a great daughter and a fantastic son-in-law.The auction was winding down towards its last batch which consisted of small and medium sized paintings of unknown origins. Nobody showed any interest in it and rejected it outright. The auction was over but sadashivam hung around to get a feel of the people and how they went about doing their business in the house.The paintings that were rejected were placed in a cardboard box in one corner and out of curiosity sadashivam went up to it and started going through the paintings.They were not in a bad shape but crudely put together.The colors and figures were still visible and the they depicted a gathering of village people, an old man talking to them. The paintings were in a order of a scene and sadashivam scanning them quickly understood that the old man was warning them of something and on top of the mountain near the village,he pointed to a bright light in the sky.The last painting showed all the village people bowing to the light with folded hands .

Sadashivam's eyes noticed everything and missed nothing and yet his mind was focused on one thing,the light in the skies. the light that the old man was pointing to for the village people to see.Comet,asteroid,supernova now what could it be sadashivam wondered. There were three things he would need to do to get more information about the paintings. first find the owner,trace the roots of the paintings,find the place where it was painted or which mountain and village it depicted.

A young man came up to him and said " sorry sir,you either buy them or leave for we are closing shop."

Sadashivam enquired about the price and was told that it was Rs 25,000 for the whole lot. He told the young man that he would take it and that he would leave an advance of Rs 2,000 for it and come back to collect it the next day with the rest of the money. While he waited for the receipt sadashivam once more went through the paintings and realized that there were a few sketches of the village from the mountain top and In the bottom lay face down one small sketch in black coal. Sadashivam picked it up and a shiver went through his spine and his whole body.Even if he knew nothing much about art and crafts,sadashivam knew from the lines that whoever had sketched this piece had done it with great love and with great skill.But this single sketch was very different from the rest of the paintings and done by different artists. Picking up the sketch.sadashivam walked towards a window and let light fall onto the sketch and now he could see the glory and detail of the piece.It showed a woman, maybe in her middle age and with a swollen stomach.But there was something about the woman and after a few minutes sadashivam realized that the woman was blind.Slowly and carefully sadashivam using his hand kerchief dusted the sketch and saw more and more detail of the sketch.The woman had one hand on her stomach and using the other one to support her weight on the stone pillar and in the background there was temple. But what was weird was that there was a huge lion lying in front of the woman and looking into his eyes.Sadashivam knew in his soul that there was a story behind this sketch and decided that he would get to the root of it.

It was late in the night and sadashivams dreams were filled with forests,mountains and that blind woman from the sketch. For a man who slept like a rock and never dream't much about anything particular and never ever remembered what he dream't the next day,sadashivam's dreams were vivid in detail and colorful. The lion stood up on his massive paws and started walking towards him and when just a few feet from him let loose a loud and thunderous roar and sadashivam woke up with a start from his dream.

Krishna nee begane baro
Krishna nee begane baro
Darkness coming round
And everybody fighting with their brothers
Everybody wants control
Don't hesitate to kill one another
So come back as Jesus
Come back and save the world
Bless all the future
Of every boy and girl
Come back as Rama
Forgive us for what we've done
Come back as Allah
Come back as anyone

A hero (masculine or gender-neutral) or heroine (feminine) refers to characters who, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, display courage and or the will for self-sacrifice"that is, heroism"for some greater good of all humanity. This definition originally referred to martial courage or excellence but extended to more general moral excellence.

The word can be used as a gender-neutral term for both males and females as the word has no gender-specific suffix in English and can refer to any person who is considered a hero.

Coined in 1387, the word hero comes from the Greek (h"rs), "hero, warrior" literally "protector" or "defender". According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, the Indo-European root is "to protect". According to Eric Partridge in Origins, the Greek word H"rs "is akin to" the Latin serure, meaning to safeguard. Partridge concludes, "The basic sense of both Hera and hero would therefore be 'protector'

"Heroes didn't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn't wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back." Jodi Picoult, Second Glance

The Hero

Mother, let us imagine we are travelling, and passing through a
strange and dangerous country.
You are riding in a palanquin and I am trotting by you on a
red horse.
It is evening and the sun goes down. The waste of Joradighi
lies wan and grey before us. The land is desolate and barren.
You are frightened and thinking-"I know not where we have come
to."
I say to you, "Mother, do not be afraid."
The meadow is prickly with spiky grass, and through it runs
a narrow broken path.
There are no cattle to be seen in the wide field; they have
gone to their village stalls.
It grows dark and dim on the land and sky, and we cannot tell
where we are going.
Suddenly you call me and ask me in a whisper, "What light is
that near the bank?"
Just then there bursts out a fearful yell, and figures come
running towards us.
You sit crouched in your palanquin and repeat the names of the
gods in prayer.
The bearers, shaking in terror, hide themselves in the thorny
bush.
I shout to you, "Don't be afraid, mother. I am here."
With long sticks in their hands and hair all wild about their
heads, they come nearer and nearer.
I shout, "Have a care, you villains! One step more and you are
dead men."
They give another terrible yell and rush forward.
You clutch my hand and say, "Dear boy, for heaven's sake, keep
away from them."
I say, "Mother, just you watch me."
Then I spur my horse for a wild gallop, and my sword and
buckler clash against each other.
The fight becomes so fearful, mother, that it would give you
a cold shudder could you see it from your palanquin.
Many of them fly, and a great number are cut to pieces.
I know you are thinking, sitting all by yourself, that your
boy must be dead by this time.
But I come to you all stained with blood, and say,"Mother, the
fight is over now."
You come out and kiss me, pressing me to your heart, and you
say to yourself,
"I don't know what I should do if I hadn't my boy to escort
me."
A thousand useless things happen day after day, and why
couldn't such a thing come true by chance?
It would be like a story in a book.
My brother would say, "Is it possible? I always thought he was
so delicate!"
Our village people would all say in amazement, "Was it not
lucky that the boy was with his mother?"

Rabindranath Tagore :

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..." Elizabeth Gilbert

Chapter 2

"Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: ...So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough."? Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland



Where are we going. Where are we all really going. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust is all profound and all right but what the heck does it mean. Where did we come from. seriously where did it all come from. I came from my mother's womb and she from my grandmother's womb. YAAAWWWN.
So back, back, bbbaaaccck and now tell me where it came from. You, many and most will say stop this nonsense and think of now. Now is now and that is for realists and practical people and as for me i am a dreamer and i dream of then, when and why. That first second when life began, when the seeds were sown by someone. Is it wrong to question, is it wrong to search for the beginning of my life or the life that began it all. is it wrong to search for that power that started it all. Most will look at you and listen to your questions and say W*F is wrong with you. Maybe something is wrong but what if something is wrong with them who have all the posers and doubts and stop you, manipulate you from your quest. I say loudly seek, search, ache, yearn for more, more that will satiate your thirst for knowledge and will maybe answer your questions.




Old man with a young heart



"The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
I know what you mean," said the little old man."
? Shel Silverstein


The boxes of paintings were delivered by Murray & co to his house and after paying them the balance amount Sadashivam carried the boxes into his large den. Den, yes for most men prefer it called that way, and prefer to retreat there to be men again after their husbandly duties. And as they get old they are pushed there by their wives who want to watch tv in peace or just be in peace for they too deserve it. Now that is a topic for discussion and one for my zany views, but we will visit that some other day.

Sadashivam had cleared a table for the boxes and had purchased some soft brushes to clean the dust from the paintings and also had purchased a large hand lens. He wanted to see if there were any words or markings on the paintings or behind them so he could trace out their origin.

Becoming a professor and that too an IIT professor does not happen to all those who become engineers and it takes something special on one part. For instance if Usain bolt is the fastest man on earth right now, then it is just not his training or diet which has enabled him to become the world champion in 100ms.But his body, genetics, height, muscles must be better and in perfect harmony to make him run like the wind. Genetics passed on generation after generation will culminate in one specific model, perfect model which is suited for running and there you have usain bolt.

One of the most studied human brains belonged to Albert Einstein and after many years of probing and observing under powerful microscopes it was concluded that "Although the overall size and asymmetrical shape of Einstein's brain were normal, the prefrontal, somatosensory, primary motor, parietal, temporal and occipital cortices were extraordinary."-Brain. Dean Falk, an evolutionary anthropologist at Florida State University.


Sadashivam might be a retired man in his late 60's but his brain was sharp, laser sharp and at its peak of health and functioning at its very best. All the reading and writing and absorbing new information which in turn led to thinking, pondering had led to his brain getting better and better. So whatever he did was methodical, logical and practical which always gave him the best results. His every action, his every word was measured, well thought of and executed and to top it all he was an infinitely patient man.

Knowing that he would be spending a lot of time with the paintings, Sadashivam had a huge bowl of oats filled with sliced apples and bananas and his tummy full he went about his work. He placed all the paintings on the table and slowly started dusting them and after that he arranged them according to the way they were telling the event or a story from an imagination. He went about all of this with a huge smile on his face for he was in his element now totally focused on the puzzle which the paintings presented to him.

Sadashivam had been an only child to his parents Vishwanathan and ambujam and had been born just after india got her independence.The joy of getting their freedom and the bonus of a son had been like visiting heaven for his parents and they gave him their total love but also totally restricted him from normal activities which a boy would indulge in. It was always home, books and a little bit of classical music training for sadashivam and he knew what claustrophobia meant literally and when he got a scholarship to do his engineering in Chennai, he took the first bus out of kumbakonam and only visited his parents once in a blue moon. But marriage had been forced upon him like cancer had been forced upon his darling mother and to fulfill her dying wishes, sadashivam reluctantly agreed to marry kamalam and from day one sadashivam felt like he was back living with his parents.His keen,analytical and practical mind had never added the function of marriage and children to the mix of work and life but since he had been forced into it he gave it his best. Malati had happened in a flurry of sex after they had come back from watching the first James bond film Dr.No in casino theater. Sadashivam did not think he was sean connery nor did he think his wife was the hot and sexy Ursula andress. Well malati happened and his knowledge of sex ended there. A few opportunities presented themselves but sadashivam was too shy to even take up on the cues left to him by the fairer sex and well now in his late 60's it was another thing that had been lost in the fire of life.

Physics had occupied his mind and all his energy was spent in it and on it and that was what carried him to success and a few trips abroad for talks and discussions regarding the subject.
But for the first time in his life the little boy that had been kept under wraps by his late overprotective parents woke up from a deep slumber and dusting himself like he was dusting the paintings readied himself for an adventure. Sadashivam knew it was going to be an adventure and that he would go in search of the origin of the paintings and get to the root of it.

Sadashivam arranged all the paintings and stepped back and spoke loudly " Sadashivam yes and not yet Shavam." And on cue kamalam knocked and yelled " Food is ready.i am going to eat.They are playing bhama vijayam on Ktv." Sadashivam yelled back okay and asked her to eat and watch tv and do whatever she wanted. He then took pictures of all the paintings with his camera and connecting it to the laptop via USB emailed it to his daughter.

A few minutes later malati called up and asked him about the paintings and sadashivam asked her if she could gather any information about the style and when they might have been painted.Malati said that to her limited knowledge she thought that they belonged to the 13th or 14th century but could not be sure of the exact date.She asked him to meet her Guru mr.prabhakar who was very good at dating old paintings by their style and clothes which people in the paintings wore.
Sadashivam said he would do that and using the phone no which malati gave him called up mr.prabhakar and fixed up and appointment to meet the gentleman the next day at 11a.m.


The people gathered around the mountain as told by the old man and looked towards the night skies.A brilliant light shone and streaked across the skies and they all yelled and bowed in reverence.The old man looked at all of them and said " Soon,very soon.He will be among us as one of us."

Sadashivam woke up in his den where he had fallen asleep on the couch with the sketch on his chest.He gazed on the blind woman and for the first time saw a light around her womb.Not knowing what to make of it he lay his head on the cushion and slowly drifted away into a deep sleep and into another dream.


I am here.I have always been here.I am fire and i am water. I am hell and i am heaven and i will bring peace to you.

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Chapter 3

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves. ----Andre Gide


Fear, yes fear is a dominant state of emotion in all our lives and dominates in the way we live with ourselves and the way we live with others. Security is a myth and you realise when a loved one passes away that nothing in life is secure. But it is okay to face fear and embrace it and let it abide in your mind as a constant companion. I let fear work in some of the aspects of my life and let fearlessness rule in the rest. Even when i am alone i fear for the safety of my loved ones and generally wish well for most. Sometimes, okay many times i do wish that i fear nothing and want to abandon it. But then i would have to turn my back on the known and existing world of mine and walk away. Be a monk, become a Sanyasi and give up worldly bondages.

kaalil adi padum endru bayam ennaku,
Kavidhai bayam ennaku, Kadhai bayam ennaku,
Bheem-endre kadhai kum bayam, Hanuman kadhai kum bayam,
Udhai kum bayam, Sidhai kum bayam,
Kadhavu bayam ennaku! Konjam thurandhe kadhavum bayam,
mulusa moodune kadhavum bayam, Pootu pote kadhavu yendralum bayam enakku,
Kaadu bayam ennaku, Naadu bayam enakku,
Koodu bayam enakku, Kuzham bayam enakku.
Nandu kandaal bayam enakku, Poochandu kandaal-um bayam enakku,
chandu kulaare irrukira vandu kandaalum bayam enakku.
Kadikire naayum poonayum, Poona thinura ezhiyum bayam enakku.
soga bayam, vega bayam, roga bayam, noga bayam, poga bayam, vaarathum bayam,
Vaazha bayam, saaghavum bayam.

Dialogue from tenali



Procedure and process


Sadashivam did not know much about Malati's guru Prabahakar for he had been busy with his own stuff and lost in his world But he did remember the name for malati had mentioned it a couple of times after she had taken up painting and had given up various jobs that came to her when she had completed her engineering.

Following the address, and with traffic a lot easier after 10.30 A.M, sadashivam slowly drove through chennai roads in his maruti a-star which he had bought after selling his ancient maruti 800.The advantage of having power steering was now clearly evident in his aging limbs although it had cost him more than the base model. With money not an issue he had gone the whole way and gone with power steering, power windows and an mp3 player with usb support. Technology did have its advantages thought sadashivam for in one tiny memory stick of 32 gb he could load all his favourite songs by carpenters, doris day, frank sinatra and perry como.In the mix were some songs of P.b.srinivas,k.b sundarambal and lots of t.m.soundarajan. There were also lots of hindi hits of kishore,rafi and naushad and with the windows up and cutting him off from the outside world he sang " BAHARON PHOOL BARSAO" with rajendar kumar at the top of his voice and when he realised that at the traffic signal a man was staring at him he giggled like a small child and when the man turned away with an expression " god the old man must be suffering from dementia", he did not bother and humming the song said " f..k you" and then thought "oops, sadashivam konjam un vayasukku ethan madiri behave pannuda."

There are lots of areas in chennai which still have not sold their soul to high rise apartments and although fighting a losing battle are hanging on in quiet dignity. The address of prabhakar was such and it was a small single floor house built on one ground and on both sides stood ten floor apartments like statues before a temple. Parking in front of the rusty black gate, sadashivam got out with more energy than what he had when he was in his house and wondered if his old heart could take so much excitement.Thankfully no one had daibetes in his family or that of kamalam's although most had cholesterol problems on her side. " kozhuppu vera enna,24 mani neram tv paarthukuttu butter murukku,seedai adhu idhunu vayila thalluna kozhuppu varama pinna ilamaiyaa thirumba varum" thought sadashivam and again giggled like a silly child. Then composing himself he reached into his car and picked up the painting and the sketch which he had bought for mr.prabhakar to see and evaluate, entered the compound.


Sadashivam opened the gate and stopped and wondered in amazement at all the greenery in the house. All the trees inside the compound towered over the house and covered it with their shadows. Lush grass surrounded the house and among them stood rock sculptures in human form and in various abstract forms. And then one form moved and sadashivam nearly had a heart attack for only as it came closer through the grass did he realise it was huge rottweiler.The dog came to a halt a few feet from sadashivam and stared him right in the eye. Sadashivam had never been allowed to have a dog when he was young and he could imagine kamalam's reaction if he had even had the gall to touch the subject of a pet. " VEETLE NEENGA IRUKEENGA,NAAN IRUKEN,IDHU NADUVULA ORU DOG VENUMMA.stupid."

Sadashivam did not know what to say or what to do but the dog turned and started walking towards the entrance of the house and then stopped and looked back as if to ask him if he was coming or not and sadashivam automatically " varenga,vandhuten,neenga ponga" and then wondered what prompted him to talk to a dog. The dog led him right into the house and into the hall where in a chair sat an old man, reading something. Sadashivam softly whispered mr.prabhakar and the man looked up and said "yes,ulla vaanga sadashivam."

Sadashivam sat in a comfy chair next to mr.prabahakar and the large dog sat between them and kept staring at him with an intense look.

Prabhakar ruffled the dogs head and looked at sadashivam " I don't know why, but this dog just came and stood outside my gate one day and refused to leave. I ignored it for a few days but still the dog hung around and when i gather energy to go for a small walk in the morning and evening, he follows me faithfully but a few steps behind me like my shadow. I have enquired around and no one seems to have a clue as to whom he belongs to. so i let him in and here he is. I have named him Buddha and on hearing his name the big dog looked at prabahakar and smiled with his jaws wide open. Anyway it is nice to meet you for your daughter was one of my favorite students. I hope she is doing well in america. she calls once in a while and we chat for a few minutes. so tell me what can I do for you."
Sadashivam removed the two pieces wrapped carefully in cloth and handed it over to prabhakar,who requested him to switch on all the lights in the hall. sadashivam did that and looked on as prabhakar first examined the painting which showed the old man pointing towards the mountain and the light in the sky.
He took his time and then reached and picked up a hand lens which was on the table next to his chair.

Prabhakar looked at sadashivam and said " beautifully painted and pretty well intact for its age. this belongs to the 13th or 14th century era of the times when cholas were in the end of their reign and overlapped with the other diminishing reigns of pallavas and pandyas. rare,very rare.what did you pay for this.'

sadashivam mentioned the amount and that there were other pieces in the lot and prabahakar smiled and said " sad that people do not know the value of lost and ancient art. My request to you would be to donate this to the museum for it will be better preserved and will benefit our history and collection. But i leave that decision to you for these belong to you now. Now the other piece please."

Sadashivam handed over the sketch of the blind and pregnant woman and prabhakar took one look at it and then stared at him and "remarkable,fantastic,beautiful.a real master at work and one who is obviously blessed by god himself. I am supposed to be good, but this is beyond talent and something special."

The huge dog who had lying on the floor until then, suddenly stood up and walked up to prabhakar and placing his legs on the chair stood up and pawed at his hand. not knowing what the dog was trying to do, prabhakar asked the dog what it wanted but the dog kept pawing at his hand which held the sketch and prabhakar realised that the dog was trying to get at the piece and brought it closer to it. The dog calmed down and staring at the sketch growled loudly and then howled at the top of its voice. It then came close to sadashivam and sat next to his feet .

Both men looked at each other and wondered why the dog was behaving so strangely.prabhakar looked at the sketch and sighed sadly " shivam,it looks like buddha has chosen you for his new companion and i hope you accept him as he has just accepted you.i dont know what to make of all this but my experience tells me things happen for a reason.Buddha coming to me,you finding those paintings,especially this remarkable sketch and now buddha wanting you as his new master.

Sadashivam shrugged his shoulders " maybe buddha is just being a happy doggy and is behaving vaguely like some dogs go.I am sure there is some other reason other than this sketch and i am definitely not taking him for then i will be without a roof to sleep under." Saying this he gave prabhakar a cd containing photos of the paintings and also of the sketch and requested him to go through them carefully and see what more information he could gather from it.



Both the men shook hands and sadashivam left but strangely buddha the dog did not move from his place but kept staring at him.Sadashivam looked at prabhakar with an expression of i told you so and getting in to his car,drove back home planning his next move.

"Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you'll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it. and you'll survive" Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes


I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go."
Theodore Roethke, The Collected Poems

Time to say goodbye to organized religion and religious practices

Let's get straight to the point here. It is time we did away with organized religion and religious practices.

Undeniably, from the beginning of civilization, the single biggest cause of war and strife has been religion. Though the proponents of religion will site several examples where religion has contributed positively to human existence (art and architecture are justifications often heard), the misery that religion continues to cause us makes such contributions pale in comparison.

While doing away with religion entirely would be ideal, it may not be possible just yet. After all, the need to believe in the existence of a higher power, and the need to find meaning for our relatively insignificant existence is deeply rooted in the human psyche and one cannot wish it away.

However organized religion is something else altogether. It is clear that organized religion has evolved and exists today solely to manipulate the masses. From the shamans and witch doctors of yore to the popes, priests and imams of today, all are guilty of exploiting peoples' need for God for their own nefarious purposes.

Obviously, we cannot get rid of these organized religions by asking them to disband themselves. They are too rich, powerful and power-hungry to relinquish something they have built over millennia. However, we are, as individuals, still free to escape from their clutches.

Towards this end, let us together launch the
Movement to Promote the Abandonment of All Religions and Religions Practices.
To join this movement, what you have to do is the following:

Keep your religion an internal one.
Remove all outward symbols that broadcast your religion to others, including but not limited to special attire, markings on your body/face, referring to your God out loud, participating and conducting religions rituals and celebration of religion specific events.
Avoid espousing the benefits/advantages/superiority of your religion.
Stop visiting your temple/mosque/church/synagogue. Importantly stop filling up their coffers with contributions. If you need to ditch guilt money somewhere, then use it to feed the poor or some other meaningful social cause.
Allow your spouse and more importantly, your children to choose their own set of beliefs.
Name your children in such a way that your religion is not discernible from their names.
Changing your name is probably going to be too complicated, so just introduce yourself as EKA followed by your name. EKA is short for Earlier Known As and pronounced ee-ka. That way, everyone will know you belong to the movement.
Though this movement will not have any central office, will not collect any monies from people, nor have any logos and symbols associated with it beyond its long and unwieldy name, it is important to ensure that this does not end up becoming another religion. At the same time, it is important that people who join the movement let others know about its existence. So, if you belong to and believe in this movement, you will greet others with the word "Peace" instead of hello, hi or any of the common words of greeting.
If somebody wishes to learn about this movement, share with them this note and allow them to decide for themselves. Do not proselytize.
Sincerely believe that this world and all its resources belongs to not just humans but to every living creature on this precious planet and act responsibly at all times.
by sanjay dattatri

I have known sanjay from my 9th std in besant arundale and he is one of the pillars of my life and they number a very few.He is also one of the wisest and wittiest souls you will come across and also a great thinker.I have always aspired to be like him but sadly fall short.i am sharing this article by him and i hope you appreciate his thoughts.

God yes but right now it is just you,me and us

Womb To tomb

The darkness is the same for all in the womb
The light we come into is from the same and one sun
The darkness of death is the same for all of us
whether we are burnt or hidden in a tomb
From darkness to darkness in the end
and a few years of sunlight in between
whether a muslim,be it a hindu or a christian
we bleed red and we cry out in pain
we cry amma,maa,mum or mother
they fight over god they say those who fight,kill and are killed
but they fight over land,oil and pride
they are fanatics who fight in the name of god
fighting over god is like fighting over your mother
it is like saying my mother is better than yours
my father is stronger than yours
it is like saying my wife is more beautiful
you dont say all these things then why the heck do you fight over god
god is not in temples,god is not in churches,god is not in mosques
but like the love of your parents and loved ones
he is in your soul,he is abstract and he belongs to all of us
allah,shiva,jesus,david,buddha we are one
whether a muslim,be it a hindu or a christian
we bleed red and we cry out in pain
we cry amma,maa,mum or mother

(Courtesy: Poem and pictures posted on behalf of Satish, with thanks).

Chapter 4

"I do not miss childhood, but I miss the way I took pleasure in small things, even as greater things crumbled. I could not control the world I was in, could not walk away from things or people or moments that hurt, but I took joy in the things that made me happy."? Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane


Time has been travelling through me and it has stayed in me in a bright place and sadly in some dark places too.They are like the corners of a room and the corners of a classroom where naughty children are sent to stand and watch and be watched.Even now as i am called adult in my adulthood i see those children from my childhood standing in the corners,scolded,punished and yet with a wide smile on a brown face with a brown mop for hair.Child,adult lover,husband and yet now in the twilight i long for the sunrise of the child and the innocence of not knowing all the secrets of this adult world.I used to be bitter about not getting a bigger piece of chocolate but now i am bitter about even sillier things.A chance to be that child for some time,innocent,not being judgemental and not being anything and running everywhere like the wind,always ready for an adventure.Although physically impossible i do sometimes time travel in my mind and in to my memories.Through the grass my skinny legs pumping and my shorts falling off my non existent butt and waist,running behind my dog,chasing crows and garden lizards,climbing walls to peep and see what the neighbours are up to.I dont have too many pics from my childhood,but i do have my collection of videos locked in the vault of my memories.



Awakenings

"Once upon a time, there was a boy. He lived in a village that no longer exists, in a house that no longer exists, on the edge of a field that no longer exists, where everything was discovered, and everything was possible. A stick could be a sword, a pebble could be a diamond, a tree, a castle. Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in a house across the field, from a girl who no longer exists. They made up a thousand games. She was queen and he was king. In the autumn light her hair shone like a crown. They collected the world in small handfuls, and when the sky grew dark, and they parted with leaves in their hair.Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering."? Nicole Krauss, The History of Love



Sadashivam went straight to his den with the pieces of art and kamalam yelled at his white head " four in the afternoon and lunch is still waiting for you on the table.Another four hours and the lunch will become dinner and the same will be waiting for you.What is the point in me cooking if you are not going to eat.in the end rather than waste the food i finish it and end up putting on weight"

Sadashivam came back after washing his face and hands and looked at kamalam " thin or fat you are the best cook and the best wife any man can have."

This sudden compliments brought on a pink hue on kamalam's round face and she turned away murmuring " show some concern and immediately he starts flirting and soon he will try some of his old tricks.old man,look at him running around like a small boy.but still he is my boy and it is my fate that i have to care for him." kamalam murmured this but she did this out of pride and out of responsibility and these were thoughts that sadashivam had no clue about.


After the late lunch sadashivam sat in his den and stared at the paintings and tried to decipher what it was they were saying.He thought ' is the old man pointing to some star or planet,or is he pointing to some forest fire.But that is not possible for he is pointing up into the skies and into distant space.'

The sudden bout of interest in astronomy and stuff related to space had not only occupied his mind but also had increased the need for recognition,recognition in the world of astronomy.Sadashivam thought that if the light in the painting which the old man was pointing to turned out to be a supernova event or some other undocumented celestial event,then he could reveal it to the world and become famous overnight.Well that was one of the reasons apart from the mystery and suspense part of who had painted and when they had painted and particularly what was the story behind the paintings.

Picking up the phone, he called up dr.parthasarathy one of his old faculty members during his tenure at IIT.

A feeble voice whispered hello and sadashivam thought ' god,timid then and timid now,even his voice is timid.'

sadashivam ' parthasarathy,it is me sadashivam.how are you doing.'

parthasarathy 'sadashivam.hello.i am fine.what are you up to.'?

Sadashivam ' nothing much.but i need some help on dating some paintings which i picked up at Murray& co auction house and want to know how to go about dating them and where to go to get it done.'

There was a few minutes silence and sadashivam could literally hear parthasarathy's neurons cranking,moving and retrieving stored info from the databases of his brain.Thinking out loud sadashivam thought with a sly grin and then worried that the excitement might be bad for the timid parthasarathy.


Parthasarathy was a few years younger than sadashivam but exactly opposite in every sense of character. He was so timid that he would get nervous seeing his shadow following him or if he heard a window shut with a bang.Nerves,doctors who treated him said but then parthasarathy was a genius with an IQ of 220
and that discounted all his nerves for what mattered at IIT were the nerves that did calculations faster than supercomputers.But then parthasarathy was also a very gentle and kind soul who never said one bad word about anyone,not that sadashivam had ever heard him utter that.


Parthasarathy whispered ' sadashivam,you can get this done in our very own IIT for they have the means now.They brought the equipment just a few years back after we left and i guess it shouldn't be a huge problem if you put in a request as most of the staff are your students.I hope i have helped you.If you have time,why dont you drop by this sunday morning for breakfast.I am planning to make ragi rotis and i know that you enjoy them a lot.

Now you have to understand that apart from his IQ of 220,parthasarathy was famous for his culinary skills and could whip out dishes that chefs in star hotels could only dream of.There had been times in the past when married women, wives of fellow faculty members would literally cling to his every word and every breath. but sadly parthasarathy was a totally dreary and a sexless man. the only sense that worked for him was something hidden deep in the folds of the brain and when asked how he managed to cook so well,he just would stare into the distance for such a long time and meanwhile people who had come for dinner would have wiped their plates clean, including his plate and said their goodbyes and leaving the still pondering and wondering parthasarathy.

Sadashivam used to find this very funny and had taken a few pics of parthasarathy in this trance like state and had secretly mailed it to him. But to his amazement, sadashivam found parthasarathy staring into space with his own pics in his hand. But everybody revered him and his students worshipped him for when it came to calculating, breaking down complex problems there was none to rival parthasarathy.


Sadashivam ' thank you parthasarathy for inviting me for breakfast and yes, i will be there on sunday morning. See you soon.'

He next made a call to the senior staff member jayalakshmi natarajan, who was in charge of lab operations in IIT and told her his requirements and she was happy to be of help, but said that it would take a few days to get the job done for there was a bit of a backlog due to heavy demand of the machine. But she promised that she would try to push his request up towards the front for it was the least she could for the famous sadashivam.

Sadashivam thanked her and told her he would see her at 10.a.m the next day and put the phone down.

He sat in his chair staring at the sketch and said aloud ' ok,whoever you are and however in the distant past you were. The time has come to know first when you were and from there i will get closer to you my friend. Just you wait.'

"Of all modern notions, the worst is this: that domesticity is dull. Inside the home, they say, is dead decorum and routine; outside is adventure and variety. But the truth is that the home is the only place of liberty, the only spot on earth where a man can alter arrangements suddenly, make an experiment or indulge in a whim. The home is not the one tame place in a world of adventure; it is the one wild place in a world of rules and set tasks."
G.K. Chesterton