Rajbir - 3

Viraj watched as Kabir walked away. It had been difficult to see Kabir leaving, yet Viraj couldn't command his voice to stop him. Viraj felt a strange dampness on his cheeks and was surprised to find that they were tears.

Kabir's words echoed in his mind again and again until he wished he would go mad just to escape the pain. He had never made any attempt to find his mother as he felt that she had left him and his father for another man. Kabir's Dad, he thought angrily. He remembered how his father had faded into drinks which then cost him his life. The sadness, the regrets, the longings.. He had always blamed his mother for it. Was it possible that the regrets his father carried were for his own actions and not for what his mother had done to him? Was it the other way round? His father hurting his mother?

Viraj fought hard to deny the thought. His father had loved him, there was no doubt about that. His mother had left him, there was no doubt about that either.

Viraj punched the wall with his fist. Kabir had messed up his thinking. Was he right in saying that his mother had no choice but to leave him? He shook his head. Which mother would leave her son, no matter how difficult the situation? For his own good? What did that even mean?

Viraj stilled. Was this a deceit? Was it lies? Did Kabir want something? Viraj's face twisted. This wouldn't be the first time someone close to him betrayed him. Viraj absently looked around the room, trying to make sense of his thoughts when he caught sight of the clock. He felt a jolt pass through him. 3:45 a.m. Where was Kabir? Why hadn't he still returned?

Viraj gave a moroseful sigh as he sank on a chair. His feelings were all over the place. Why did he care for Kabir? When he believed that Kabir could be tricking him?

No, thought Viraj, arguing with himself, he didn't accept that. It had to be his harsh past talking. He has known Kabir for the two and a half years. He was a lovable, adorable albeit stubborn kind of person. The kind who was selfless and kind. Vulnerable and innocent. A child at heart. It was impossible to hate Kabir. He knew, he had tried.

Viraj thought back to Kabir's unmistakably sincere words about his "Mumma" loving him, of living with a shadow, of being a replacement. He cringed. What had he done? How had he made Kabir feel? Worthless and a substitute? Kabir was an amazing person in his own right, a better man than him. Viraj had seen him pain stakingly search for his brother.. for him.

Kabir had a tough life too, thought Viraj, aware of the sadness of his mother at every turn of his life for a boy whom his mother had not seen since he was four. He had taken every step to break Kabir's marriage with the girl he loved. Viraj was not unaware of how rude and hostile he had been towards Kabir. Kabir didn't grudge him for that, Viraj realised, ashamed. Kabir had accepted him as his elder brother. Viraj tried to decipher what he felt for Kabir. He closed his eyes and searched deep within him. Caring, protective, close, family..

Viraj's eyes flew open. He had crossed all personal limits resorting to bribery, misuse of name and power, force to get Sabu to Kabir for his happiness. Not for Nisha or anyone else. For two years, he had searched for Sabu relentlessly for Kabir. If that wasn't proof that he considered Kabir family, nothing was.

Viraj banged his hand against his head. How long had he taken to understand this? He didn't know whether his mother loved him or not, his father was guilty or not, he knew that his loved his loved him and he, his brother. What his mother and father had done, how his life had turned out to be wasn't Kabir's fault. He had to tell this to Kabir.

Viraj looked at the clock. 4:25 a.m. Where was Kabir?, thought Viraj, panicking. He ran to the garage, calling Kabir on his mobile. A sound came from inside the house. Great, thought Viraj, banging his hand against the car hood, Kabir had left his cell at home. Viraj started racing the streets of Jaipur looking for Kabir ,wondering where to go.

He went to Gangwal house first but the house was dark and quiet. Viraj thought of calling Nisha but knew Kabir wouldn't want to trouble her when she was so far away. Where could he look for Kabir? The Gangwal shop and Kabir's dance academy were similarly silent.

Would Kabir turn to drinks?, Viraj thought. Highly unlikely though it seemed, since Viraj had never seen Kabir drinking, he was running out of options that meant Kabir was not in trouble. Nothing would happen to Kabir, thought Viraj, vehemently, nothing could happen. His elder brother would never allow it.

He was surprised by the force of his emotions. How had he accepted Kabir as his brother so quickly? If asked to pinpoint one moment when Kabir has made a place in his heart, when his 'Big Bro' comments had turned from mocks to a name he liked responding to, Viraj couldn't answer. The man who had taken months just to trust Mansukh, had accepted his relation to Kabir in minutes.

Maybe, if he has not meet Kabir before, he would have walked away from his family. In the past two and a half years, he had seen Kabir at his lowest and highest, Kabir had seen him at his best and worst and that had broken the walls between him. Viraj had seen the happiness he brought into the lives of the people he touched and realised that no one could maintain a distance with him. Especially the one for whom he had traveled all the way to India, lied to his Mumma. Viraj smiled with pure joy after a long, long time.