||Under the veil of the Dark sky||
"What the hell do you think of yourself, Nisha? Do you even know how dangerous it is?" He screamed out his lungs at her over the phone. "Kabir--, I am fine. I will be soon there, don't worry," She said as she tried to calm him down. "It's just a matter of four hours Kabir, and I'll be there before you," She said. "Four hours of the night, Nisha? Don't you yourself know what had been happening from the past three months? Why don't you understand anything? That train isn't bloody safe!" He cried. "Kabir--," She tried to hush him. "What--? You are not bloody alone, do you understand that? You have my baby inside you. For god's sake, if anything happened to you two, then what am I going to do?" His tone was deep, indicating how hurt he was. "Kabir--, nothing is going to happen," Said she. "Why haven't you taken a damn flight? You could have told me but you just didn't, I don't matter to you anymore, isn't it?" He asked. "Kabir--, It isn't like that," Her tone was wobbly as she said this. "Then what is it like?" He was tired. "Kabir--," She said, "What--? I am just tired Nisha. I am tired of you," He said as he broke into tears. His voice trembled.
"Kabir--, I am a journalist, this is my work, you'll have to understand," She said. "Then leave it, if it is about work. I work, you don't need to," He said. "Are you asking me to leave my job, Kabir? Even when you know that this is my dream," She said. "I am not coming in between your dreams, nor I want to, I just don't want you to be in a situation where you and my baby aren't safe," He said. "I know you care for me and you love me. But this is just not the way, I can't leave this job," she said. It had been fifteen minutes since she had been sitting on the train.
"Then leave me, Nisha. I can't have a woman as my wife who has no faith in me," He said. She was hurt deep inside. "I didn't say that, Kabir. I trust you. I love you and that's why I married you. I have your baby inside me, what else do you need as a proof?" She asked as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't need proofs, Nisha. I need you," He said.
"You are being possessive, Kabir. You have changed. You have changed a lot--,"She said. "I just don't care if I am being possessive or not!" He muttered. "Kabir--, please, I don't want to talk to you, right now." She said as she massaged her temples. "But we need to. We need to sort it out," He said. "I am not feeling well, Kabir. I don't want to talk to you," She said. "If you aren't well, then why the hell are you even traveling tonight? You could have stayed at Dolly's house," He complained. "Kabir--, stop this! I don't want to hear another word from you," She said. "Okay fine, take care. Just call me in case you need me," He said. She was exasperated by his clingy behavior. "I don't need you, Kabir. Definitely not, after hearing what all you said. I can take care of me and my baby. I need some time, please," She said as she wiped her tears and wrapped her arm around her tiny baby bump, which bulged out from underneath her t-shirt. "Fine, then just don't show me your face ever again. I can't do anything if you don't understand me," He said furiously as he hung the call. "Kabir, please don't say like that-," She said, but it was way too late.
"I don't understand why you are like this," she said as she threw her phone beside her on the seat in anger. She bowed her head a little and kissed her baby bump, "you don't need to worry, baby. Your papa loves you," she said as she caressed her bump. "Why did you change so much, Kabir? Why did you?" she said as tears flooded out of her eyes. She dug her fingers on the seat beside her, crushing it, while her other hand rested on her baby bump and caressed it. She wiped her tears and made a mind to not think about it until she reaches home. No! What home? He asked not to show him her face, didn't he? Where was she going to go--, to her parents' home? What would she tell them? That their son-in-law has abandoned their expecting daughter? What if they don't accept back their daughter? No! They would! They love her.
All this while, she didn't realize that she had been sitting in a dark, empty compartment of the train. The lights flickered dubiously. She looked up wondering if anyone was there in the compartment. Her eyes contained an unsaid fear. She sighed when she found a few women sitting in the seat beside the door. She closed her eyes expressing relief and rested her head back. She felt hungry as she had not eaten anything since the evening as she was disturbed by his constant phone calls. She took her bag in her arms, which lied beside her and scrounged through its pockets finding the food which Dolly had packed for her. She took out a foil-wrapped packet which contained her favorite vegetable-cheese-sandwiches and started eating it. Yummy! They were some lip-smackingly delicious sandwiches. She crushed the packet within her hand as she finished eating it and kept it in one of those pockets in her bag and zipped it.
"I miss my idiot Kabir, not this possessive one," she whispered to herself as she looked at their photo in her phone's screen lock. She reminisced his clowning around, but his words a while ago brought her back to the reality. She hoped if this phase was ephemeral and that everything gets back to normal. She held her phone against her lips and kissed his snap on the screen and then again her little baby bump. I won't let you go, I can't let you go. I love you.
She took out her laptop from her bag and continued writing her unfinished article just to pass these four hours of lonesomeness. Crimes under the shady moonlight' her new article was titled this. She is an investigative journalist and a crime-writer, but due to her health issues, she had been doing only crime-writing for a while now. She would usually do this publishing stuff online with her publishers, but due to some connectivity issues and urgency, she had to travel all the way from Jaipur to Delhi for the work and she had done all this without Kabir knowing it as would not have had let her go if he had known this and that's what had raged the bull. She was struck. She was most probably suffering from a writer's block or an ill mind caused by her oh-I-am so-cool-with-being-a-stupid-moron-and-possessive husband. This is indeed so cool, literally, ironically.
The train halted at a stop in between. An unknown station, with darkness, swelled all around and there was no trace of existence. The place was etched in charcoal. She looked up and found the women missing, maybe they got down. She tried to find the name of the place by looking out of the emergency window she was seated by, but all she could find was darkness all around. Oh--, so cool! An emergency window too! The darkness inside the train was scarier than the one outside. She stood up keeping her laptop aside and strolled over the compartment, trying to find human existence. But she was alone, all alone. She gulped down her saliva in fear as she sat back at her place. She held her phone in her hand and dialed his number, but it was switched off. She knew that he had deliberately done this. He was angry and this was one of the side-effects. He cares for no world when he is angry, not even of his expecting wife who thinks that she is going to be in a trouble soon. Oh--, Kabir! When'll you change? She closed her eyes as she kept the laptop back in her bag and cuddled it into her embrace as the train slowly started again. Her lips trembled and her insides started to turn icy-cold. She was alone in this dark, isolated compartment of this huge train. She, however, had managed to spend two-and-half hours here, a one-and-half hour left.
She opened her eyes and looked around in fear. Up, down, left and right, and all the directions possible! She kept her bag beside her and rested her head on her little baby bump, hugging it. "Don't be scared, mama!" came an under-toned voice of a small child. She raised her head and looked here and there but found no one, but she realized that it was her own baby who said that. She was amazed, really. She was hallucinating, maybe. She placed her hand on her bulged belly and was distracted from her fear for a while. Another station has arrived! Darkness consumed here as well. She sighed in relief as a few passengers got up into her compartment, a few men with a serene look. But never trust what their appearance suggests. She hid by sitting nearer to the window so that she could not be spotted. As anyhow, men are men. She sat steadily and tapped her foot against the floor in a monotonous way. Her eyes closed and her hands resting on her baby bump. The train started again, she was really eager to run into Kabir's warm embrace. She was angry at him for saying all that! So, not his embrace!
There was a huge bustle in the compartment which echoed in high amplitude. They were shouting, laughing and cracking vulgar jokes. Though this seemed really terrible to her ears, but she was in a constant relief that she wasn't alone. Darkness is scarier than isolation.
She was in a constant urge to throw up due to her migraine. However, she had controlled herself hitherto but this was getting out of control. She twitched her fingers simultaneously. Her body has given in and now she has to vomit out. She stood up pressing her hand against her mouth while the other hand rested on her baby bump as she ran towards the washroom. And there they stood near the doors blocking her way. She motioned them to give her a side and they did. She ran into the washroom, keeping her hand against her mouth. She closed the door behind her and vomited resting her hands on the rim of the sink. She was feeling sick and exhausted. She washed her face as she was finished with her throwing up and wiped it with her handkerchief. "Oh, Kabir! Why do you make me so sick?" She thought and looked at her reflection in the mirror in disgust. Her insides were weak due to the sudden outburst. She panted heavily.
She needs to call him, or she wouldn't be able to survive for so long. She opened the door and peeped out and they weren't there. She dragged her unwilling body along, towards the seat. They were nowhere, not even in their seats. Her body trembled. She went to her seat where her belongings were kept and was scared on finding that those guys were seated over her place. She looked at them in horror. Their blood-red, swollen eyes suggested that they were drunk. Yes! They were drunk and were still drinking, as they had their half-emptied beer bottles in their hands. Her feet quivered to even take another step, but she had to grab her belongings from the seat. They were looking at her insidiously, making her think before she acted. She, however, moved forward and took her heavy laptop bag and phone in her hands as she turned around. She moved back when one of them stood up and held her wrist, "want to have a drink with us, ma'am?"He asked, and he was gifted with a tight slap on his face by Nisha. "Stay away," she said warning him. "Okay-, cool!" he said as he held his hands in air moving back. His eyes burned in an untraceable rage and vengeance.
She absconded away from there and took a corner seat and tried his number but still the same. Such a Mindless and senseless human Kabir is. There was that bustling sound again but soon that evaded and she sighed in relief as that noise had been piercing through her head all this while. She had slipped into a deep slumber due to exhaustion in that dead, mortified, silence. Her legs folded up touching her bump and her hands were protectively wrapped around it as her head rested beside the window. She felt sick.
She felt something snaking on her body, slowly. Something snaked underneath her top, on her bare skin. "Kabir--," she mumbled in a weak voice in her sleep. A couple of hands roamed on her, dirtily. She realized it wasn't Kabir. How could he be here? She snapped opened her eyes in horror and found the same group of men crowding around her. They were in an inebriated state. They couldn't stand straight and were stumbling. She pushed away the guy who touched her inappropriately. Kabir's hands were never like this on her, never. He treated her with utmost care and love.
"What the hell are you all doing?" she screamed as she pierced out of their crowd and stood aloof hanging her bag across her shoulder and clutching her phone and baby bump. "You'll get to know," said the guy who had earned a slap from her earlier.
"What the hell do you want? Leave me," she shouted as the man pinned her to the wall beside the door. "You'll have to pay for what you did, do you understand?" he said, though not clearly. He pressed his body against her and she screamed in pain. "Leave me, you moron," she shouted as she kicked him on his knee and clutched her hands to her belly.
Your voice is your biggest weapon, never stay calm. She remembered what she was taught in her defense classes. She breathed heavily. Every ounce of her body trembled. She pressed her hands against her belly and shouted as hard as she could, making them close their ears. She tried to escape but was caught and pressed down against the seat. "Leave me, please," She shouted and cried. "You'll have to fight, mama, you know you have promised papa," came an under-toned voice again. That was an unsaid promise, though it came out as the words of anger. She knew she had promised Kabir and also he understood that very well. Sometimes, there are words which are unsaid and unheard in a conversation but are always conveyed to the one they are meant for.
Was it really her baby talking to her? Or was it her conscience which guided her? Whatever it was, she needs to fight, for herself, for Kabir and their baby. She needs to get back to him. Half-an-hour more and she would be there. She has to survive. She kept her hands against the seat and pushed herself up. "Touch me, and I'll kill you," she said as she picked up an emptied beer bottle which lied on the other seat and broke it holding its neck. She raised her hand which had the broken bottle and warned them. Blood flowed out of her hand as the broken piece of glass had pierced into her skin. She motioned her hand in front of them and hit one of them with it and he screamed in pain as it pierced through his skin. "Catch her," he shouted as she ran away escaping from there, and her bag still hung across her shoulder. She ran, though not fast with them chasing her through the lightless compartments. She entered into the washroom and locked the door behind her. She rested her back against the door pushing it with all her strength and her hands rested on her belly. "Kabir--, Kabir--" she shouted his name.
"Mama, you can do this, you can fight," A voice came, "You aren't weak, Nisha, you'll have to fight," came Kabir's voice, but he was nowhere. What was happening? What were these voices? She felt as if she was fainting. Her energy was draining out. No, you can't lose. Her insides were aching profusely. She was exhausted. Her body has done a lot of unwanted stuff today. Her body denied moving anymore. They were constantly banging at the washroom door. "Go away," she shouted. "Come out," one of them shouted. The color in her face had paled out. She breathed heavily. Her insides were weak. Her phone had died of low battery by now and her last hope was gone out of her hands. "Leave me--," she whispered as her body slid against the door. "Nisha, get up. You can't lose. You can't lose hope," his voice echoed in her ears again. There was an immense ache in her abdomen, so tired she was. Sweat had drenched her body. And her body trembled. The train finally halted at Jaipur. Finally, she had reached. But was it her success or loss? Had she succumbed to the situation? No! She stood up, holding to the handle of the door. She was immensely weak, her body ached. She caressed her baby bump and kissed it bending down a little. Her legs were weak and they quivered. She clicked the knob of the door and pulled it open; she had that broken bottle still in her hand, which was soaking with her blood. She had a faint smile on her face as she walked out opening the door. They were still there standing in front of her. She smiled looking at each one of them. There were only two ways, either she wins or loses! Would Kabir be there outside waiting for her, if she wins? Would he be waiting for her? No! He wouldn't be there or would he be?
She distracted herself from these questions for a while and hit one of them with the broken bottle, breaking it on his head making it bleed and he fell down holding his head. The others got frightened seeing this. "I will do this to you too, get away," she screamed. "Make a way," she shouted as she walked along the walls towards the door. She took her bag and flung her bag in the air and hit it on another guy's face and he fell down due to loss of balance. She instantly scrounged through her bag and took out a Swiss knife as she remembered one to be there. What a timing!? That's what Kabir taunts you about, stupid woman! She flung it open on their faces and got off the train clutching her baby bump weakly as those guys no more followed her due to fear. She had managed to scare them off. Brave! She praised herself but had also cursed for not taking a proper care, she should have at least told Kabir about her secret trips and bouncing around. She had hidden a lot of things from him, and maybe that is why he has trust issues.
She hugged herself as she stood on the platform. She was happy to see the crowd of her city again. It was nearly mid-night. But the crowd still persisted there. And amidst them was a guy sitting on one of the benches holding his head between his hands, looking down. And a smile appeared on her face as he looked up at her. There he was! The same guy who was ready to leave her a few hours ago, what was he doing here?
"Kabir--," she called him as he stood up and walked towards her.
She could see those dried up tears on his face. He was crying! Since when had he been here? There was a smile on his face as he saw her. She looked at him as she walked towards her, but soon her vision was slowly blacking out, she was losing her consciousness. Her body gave in to this and she felt herself crumbling up. She held her hand against her forehead and stood still at her spot closing her eyes. He had sensed this, she wasn't fine. He ran towards her taking her in his embrace as she was about to fall, he held her body tightly against his, not letting her fall. "I won," she whispered weakly as she placed her hand against his cheek. "I am sorry, Nisha. I shouldn't have said all that," he said and placed a kiss on her head. "You shouldn't have had--," she couldn't continue as she fainted.
*****
She opened her eyes and found herself in familiar surroundings. Her house it was. A huge portrait of her and him hung on the wall before her. This was the one from their honeymoon; He had cuddled her in his arms then when the picture was taken. A slight smile appeared on her face reminiscing that moment.
She was securely wrapped in a quilt. Her head ached; she massaged her temples with her fingers and found a bandage on her hand. She lifted her quilt up and set it aside. He was nowhere to be seen. She protectively wrapped her hands around her baby bump and hugged it. Her clothes had been changed and her wounds were treated. She was dressed just in her camisoles and shorts. Quite comfortable!
She stretched her hand reaching to the side table and grabbed a glass full of water kept there and drank a little from it. She lied back on the bed and looked here and there if she could find him. Where was he? She closed her eyes and snapped them open as she sensed a familiar scent near her. And there he was standing before her in his boxer-shorts.
"Are you fine now?" His voice was deep, expressing his pain, guilt, and anger. She turned her head to another side as she didn't want to have a word with him. She closed her eyes. "I am sorry," He said but he got no reply. He leaned over her to kiss her forehead but she didn't let him do that. "Stay away, Kabir," she said. He breathed disappointedly. "Nisha--" He gasped.
He lied down beside her, kissing her temple. He tried talking to her but she had completely disdained him. He could see the tears in her eyes. He sat up at his place as he didn't know what he should be doing. He placed his hands on her belly and pulled up her camisoles unveiling her bare belly to him. "I said don't touch me," she said shrugging his hands off her. "You can't stop me from loving my baby," he said cleverly. "It is my baby. It is inside me," She said. "It is mine too, I don't need to tell you how it got there!" he countered as he leaned down again and kissed her belly. "Papa missed you," He said to the baby while Nisha kept glancing at him. She clasped the bed-sheet in both her hands as he kept kissing all over her belly. She didn't know when but her tears had turned into sobs. She closed her eyes to control those tears but had not been successful as the tears flowed down her cheeks drenching the pillow she had her head on. He lied beside her and cupped her face as he heard her sobs. His eyes were filled with love, concern, and consternation.
"What happened?" He asked. She wagged her head closing her eyes. An unfathomable pain was visible on her face. "Tell me--," He said and kissed her on her head. "What if something had happened to our baby because of me?"She asked. "Nothing would have happened, I trust you," He said as he rested his head on her chest and caressed her belly. "Don't you want to know what had happened today?"She asked. "No-, I don't want to. I trust you with that," He said. "But you should know, they tried to rape me," she said wiping her tears away. He closed his eyes for a moment as he heard that, but he had composed himself. "And you fought them, you won, Nisha, rest of the thing doesn't matter to me, you are the winner, that's all," He replied in a contented, proud tone, kissing her forehead.
"Then why the hell did you talk to me like that at first?" She asked. "Because I don't trust you," He said, "but you said you do," she asked. "That's because I trust you," He said. She got annoyed at his replies. "Can't you stick to one answer?" she blurted out a bit loudly. "Don't shout, my baby is sleeping," He said, slowly patting his hand on her belly, "I need my answers, Kabir," she exclaimed. "Yeah--, I said that because I trust you, but I don't!" he replied. "What do you mean?" she asked. He had finally managed to avert her from the pain. "I trust you with my baby, but I don't trust you with your safety, you are still a teenage girl who knows everything, but in reality, nothing," he said. "You can't say that! I am bloody twenty-five," she cried, "age doesn't matter, baby. And for you, it never mattered, and that's why I care so much for you," he replied. "You don't care Kabir; you are possessive," she blurted angrily. "Whatever makes you understand is fine with me," he replied sternly. "Kabir--" she gasped a bit louder. "Shut your mouth and sleep or I am going to kiss you," He said. "Is that even a punishment?" she asked, "I can't give you more than that right now," he said pulling her closer to his chest and his head rested on his elbow. His lips were formed into a seductive smile and his eyes had what there should be, a kinky shine.
He gently leaned over her and crushed her lips with his. He kissed her smoothly pouring all his love and yearning into it. His hands traveled across her body firmly, not hurting her. Within a few minutes, he broke apart from her as he found her breathing heavily. "You need rest," he said as he kissed her forehead and then her baby bump. "But I want you," she said quite invitingly. "I fear, I might hurt you, and you are not well Nisha, you should understand," he said. "But I want you to love me, I don't mind the rest," she cried, "that's why I call you a teenage girl, you care for nothing," he said casually as he played with her tresses. "Kabir--," she cried. "Sleep, Nisha. We'll talk about it tomorrow," he said and pulled her into his warm embrace wrapping his hand around her. That's where she wanted to be, a few hours ago. "I am sorry," he said. She waited for him to continue. "I am never going to leave you," He completed. "I know," she said as she wrapped her hand around his bare torso. His warm embrace was one such place where she felt herself to be a baby, a little baby who needed to be comforted and cuddled. She snuggled herself more into him feeling his warmth. Being near him makes her forget all the miseries and pains of her life. He had some magic, some mysterious magic.
*********
P.S. I don't know what i wrote, but please do comment your views!😃
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