Just some thoughts... - Page 2

Originally posted by: neeraja91

@roshni

Agree with you.

Also With juhi Neil did feel guilty...because he realized that he had given her a commitment too in the past and after she came back he realized that he couldn't fulfil his promise to her because he couldn't leave avni. He had truly come to feel for her n moved on. I really liked that scene with bebe where she says that he should just be honest because it came down to who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. At that point honestly if he had chosen juhi n not avni he wouldn't have been wrong...avni herself was almost expecting it to happen. And i am glad that it didn't go like that. N that he picked avni over juhi because based on what they showed us of avni n juhi as characters I definitely liked avni more!

But the larger point is that - is love not permanent then, is it only a fleeting emotion, the duration of which is extremely variable? Then why have a separate word called love...it should just be "like"...why have this superlative degree that gives a semblance of something that's forever n permanent when in reality it's not the case...or is it that only some people are lucky enough to get that kind of forever , soulmate wala love n everybody else just doesn't get it. They think they are in love but in reality they are just experiencing a variable degree of affection joh aaj X ke liye hai, Kal Y ke liye hai aur kisi aur din Z ke liye bhi hosakta hai.

no dr love nd like r two cmpletly diff emotions..u cn like anyone..ur crush ur infatuation dats like..like today we all like zain..but we only like him right as a fan..sorry fr dis weird example but it jst cm randomly😆..but u wil definitely feel love fr ur future partner whoevr it will b..but another thing is giving luv a second chanc..dats a totally diff pov..if a relationship doesnt wrk fr watsoevr rsn it may b, thn u shud gv a scnd chnc..nd abv all I alwz thnk its smthng clld destiny dat alwz wrks..we may nt c it but we cn fl it

@ Flora

Originally posted by: roshni_az

no dr love nd like r two cmpletly diff emotions..u cn like anyone..ur crush ur infatuation dats like..like today we all like zain..but we only like him right as a fan..sorry fr dis weird example but it jst cm randomly😆..but u wil definitely feel love fr ur future partner whoevr it will b..but another thing is giving luv a second chanc..dats a totally diff pov..if a relationship doesnt wrk fr watsoevr rsn it may b, thn u shud gv a scnd chnc..nd abv all I alwz thnk its smthng clld destiny dat alwz wrks..we may nt c it but we cn fl it

Originally posted by: neeraja91

@ Flora

I agree that Neil loved avni more than he ever did juhi. He did so even when he didn't realize it himself. That's fine

But what i am grappling with is this proper realization that im having now that people fall "in love" more than once...

so until avni came along Neil had thought of a happy forever kind of love with juhi...

Hypothetically if juhi hadn't died, Neil n juhi would be married. Let's say neil met avni after that, what now? If he left juhi for avni is that right or wrong...until recently my answer would have been it's wrong! But suddenly it's occuring to me that why is it wrong? If he fell "out of " love and moved on to someone else then that's just how it is...wouldn't it be wrong to stay with someone just because of marriage becoming an obligation.

On the show, I liked avni more than juhi. I liked Neil with avni rather than Neil with juhi. And I was happy to see that Neil had a soulmate connection with avni because he also happened to be married to her.

But i am wondering if I would have been as ok with things if juhi hadn't died, neil n juhi had been married n thenavnii came along n neil fell in love with her...Would I be willing to concede that he could feel a soulmate connection with someone outside his marriage? And I Don't think I would!

as normal as it is to see that love can happen more than once it bothers me...that's all im saying.

So basically im not talking about what happened on the show itself but rewatching old episodes has triggered a lot of questions in me about what I personally feel about the concept of love! And it's like a bubble has burst for me. And it's not like I didn't know this before but the implications of this realization is hitting me only now...

Dunno if I am making sense but I can't really phrase it any better...

Neil never stayed with Avni because of marriage . He stayed with her cause he loved her and didn't love Juhi anymore . He wasn't even guilty about it...he wasn't guilty he moved on. He was guilty he couldn't do anything for Juhi when she was in danger. It wasn't out of love...it was out of human concern which he felt for Juhi at that moment . True Love happens once only...not again and again. If in you case Neil fell for Avni if in case he was already married to Juhi then yes he didn't love Juhi truly...his love was weak! Cause you cant fall again if the first one wasnt strong enough or true! Secondly if Neil indeed loved Juhi so much...he wouldn't have said it that easily that he doesn't love her anymore. So Neil for first time actually fell in love with Avni in true sense not Juhi.

@flora

But if "true" love strikes after marriage it raises uncomfortable questions ..of morality for example...because just like love being forever, the idea of marriage being sacred n forever is also something that was deeply ingrained in me...so what's bigger- "true" love or the sacredness of the institution of marriage...is it ok for us to make marriage "sacred" at all...coz marriage is a social construct after all...

What I understood from the discussion is that marrying is a risky affair because if the person you are marrying falls for someone else then there are chances that he or she will break the marriage. And even if he or she doesn't break the marriage, the relationship will become burden for both😕

Originally posted by: -DragonFire-

What I understood from the discussion is that marrying is a risky affair because if the person you are marrying falls for someone else then there are chances that he or she will break the marriage. And even if he or she doesn't break the marriage, the relationship will become burden for both😕

Mumma😭 I will never marry anyone

Originally posted by: neeraja91

Ikr! But unfortunately there are lots of "pressures" to get married! It's not as if love marriage means guarantee that you guys will actually be together because you don't know if its just love or "true" love! So basically there's no way to go. At some point you take a leap of faith by getting committed to someone with/without giving it an official tag, or you have to chuck it all n become a saint.

same feeling..I guess every unmarried girl hs d sm prblm..y it is so imp to gt married..😭..stay alone nd live ur life acc to ur own terms..

I totally understand your perspective in fact I've always thought it was scary that people can fall out of love. You choose to build a relationship with someone and then suddenly they could wake up one day and not want to be with you anymore. I have never been in a relationship but I have seen friends who have broken up after years together and friends who have been cheated on. The thibg about falling in love is it's risky. It's scary. But I guess some of the best things in life are risky, are scary. It is concerning that Neil was able to fall out of love with Juhi and fall in love with Avni instead. Although that worked out in the show, if it was real life and Juhi was alive, it would be terrible if that happened to her. But even if it did happen, Neil an Avni would have found each other, which is what is meant to be. So I guess what I am trying to say is when dealing with a heavy emotion like love, you need to take that leap of faith. It might not always work out, but if and when it does, it will be worth all the heartache you had to bear. Sounds a bit cliche but I honestly believe love is such a beautiful emotion, it's worth the pain.