Posted:
So I've been watching old episodes randomly and suddenly I got thinking about somethings which I felt like sharing...
Having grown up as a 90s kid and coming from a fairly conservative family there are certain ideas about love and marriage that have been drilled into me... Love has mainly been potrayed in movies n serials as something that happens only once, this cosmic connection that you have with one person...ki uparwala jodiyan bana ke bhejtha hai...n then I guess it's karma that decides how long they get to be with each other and how happy their life is...but the idea of love that I've grown up with is the whole soulmate connection...n it's a highly romantic notion, which feels really special I guess...but as I've grown up watching newer age content i have realised that its probably not so simple. But even then for the longest time I felt like even if people have had many relationships , they all have one true love- their soulmate. Everything before that was just an infatuation/crush...I dunno...that's how I used to explain it.
I also understand that it's not necessary to fall in love before marriage, it can happen afterwards too...maybe that stems out of just living with a person for so long...but in my head it was a romanticized notion...I always thought that 2 people meant for each other will find each other and fall in love. The timing of when that love happens depends on each person's destiny...
but now suddenly I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea that maybe you can love more than once...that you can fall out of love...and that even if you have a true soulmate vala love for someone it may not get reciprocated...and that thought disturbs me honestly...it shakes this idealistic concept of love and marriage that I had built up in my head...
And it struck me suddenly when I started analyzing things from nk. I know it's a show and not meant to ponder over...n a lot of stuff they do is for trp...but as I sat watching old episodes I felt like Neil was deeply in love with juhi. She died and he mourned her for 5 years...he felt her presence whenever it rained...and in an earlier episode when he saw avni in danger he called her juhi because it triggered his memories from the time he saw her in an accident...
But then as he saw avni he started to care for her and then fell in love with her...was that only because he spent a lot of time with her? Or did he decide to move on because there was no juhi in the picture...We were given to believe that they both felt for each other from their first meeting but they took time to acknowledge it n things happened in a way that they would end up together because they were soulmates.
Eventually when juhi came back he was guilty, but he seemed very clear that he no longer felt that way about her like he used to. He has given avni the place of his life partner...but is it really possible to fall out of love like that...did he really love avni or was he convincing himself because they were married and he had been giving her clear signals that he wanted to take their relationship forward and he didn't want to look back in life...NeilS funda was to live in the present, n look ahead. To forget the past...so was he simply trying to forget juhi to love upto his funda...
As a philosophy this whole don't live in the past sounds nice but is it so simple? Because it occurred to me that juhi wasn't just an ex gf...she was someone that Neil WANTED to marry...unlike avni who ended up as his wife because neelama pulled some stunt...
Don't get me wrong..this is not in defense of juhi. I still like only avni with Neil not juhi. But watching the old episodes I feel like basically Neil loved juhi, then fell out of love with her too...
But the idea that it's possible to fall out of love, to feel the same emotions for more than one person...that is something I'm not fully comfortable with...I'm not saying it's wrong but then suddenly as I sat thinking about these issues I realised that the real world is not black n white...it's multiple shades of grey and that these notions of love and marriage that have been fed to us and based on which I had built up these idealistic ,romantic notions are probably not real...but what bothers me more is that i LIKE these over-romanticized notions...the soulmate/forever kinda love/Jodi's made in heaven n all... especially coz I just realized that I had subconsciously bought into the idea so much...I have never had a boyfriend, I have not been in love...I've had crushes n all of course but never any actual relationship...neither have I been approached nor have I approached anyone...n I always told myself it's cool because someday I'll find "the one" but now after thinking about all this more deeply I realize that perhaps it was a little silly...maybe I should be more brave n open...maybe i should have had the courage to ask out people I felt were nice n interesting n seen how things panned out... have i lost out on experiences because of my overly idealistic perception of love n relationships? I don't know...I would like to believe that I have not but I am not so sure...
Ok I've rambled too much. Dunno if it made any sense but felt like putting my thoughts down so I have...It's probably not too coherent...but i am hoping you guys will get what I wanted to say anyway!
I am sure the forum has different kinds of people ...single/committed/married...people like me who have never been in a relationship and others who have been in more than one...I'd love to hear your opinions and experiences...
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah
Hindi TV Shows
Current Affairs
