First of all let me thank every single person who contributed to this thread, as many might know it's been very long since I last posted in the forum because at some point of time I missed this peaceful atmosphere of disussion where people would discuss their point of view yet be very welcoming to the other's point of view without judging them upon it.
After so long I see a healthy discussion where despite each one having a favorite or loving AvNeil equally, they would present their point without making it seem like they are against one of them, yes some still feel the outrage of unfairness towards one of them and so their posts might have a lot of zeal but nevertheless I don't regret making this post because it helped me personally to hear many perspectives as well as discuss some of mine.
The main of this post I reiterate was not to blame Avni or paint Neil as a saint because he is not, both of them are wonderful human beings but they both did their share of mistakes, the majority of the time despite everything we would feel for Avni because she is the one who had a troubled childhood and faced multiple traumas in her life, so obviously we would want her wounds to heal and we would want her to be happy, no one denies what she did and no denies that despite her painful past she made a significant growth at some point of time and tried to overcome the wounds of her past but unfortunately circumstances played her a mauvais tour and no one says Neil is a white pigeon, he has his twisted hanikarak way which I don't agree with despite his intentions being good ones just like Avni's . My point was just to try and understand each one of them instead of lashing and bashing unreasonably like if they are the worst, this habit of going overboard (though it might be a human trait) is what made me uncomfortable in the forum, calling names and at times making things seem either lighter than they are or bigger than they are, I always liked to analyze things with moderation and anyone who was here back in July in the first days of the episode discussion thread and went back to see my posts there would know that I generally present both perspectives as an AvNeil fan understanding both points of view. But yes I must admit that when the bashing became hard to bear (at least for me) back in October I started presenting Neil's point of view mainly though through very few posts since I became less active in the forum.
If anyone here thinks I jump to defend Neil unreasonably and I'm being blind to his flaws then please check the following posts back in the days where no one had any problem with Neil's character, I believe in being fair or at least I try, I wouldn't want to overlook someone's flaws just because I love them but I wouldn't either like it for people to paint them as the worst there can be where they are definitely not and unfortunately this happened with Neil many times and I still believe he is a good human being and a man who loves with all his heart despite his flaws
This is was one of my replies to a post back in August 2017 where it was said whether Neil has any flaw, if u have some time u can read it and see by yourself that loving Neil doesn't mean overlooking his flaws or the wrong things he didhttps://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4887492&PID=143576931&#p143576931"
I'd rather say that he is a human being afterall and can make wrong decisions or let's say do things at times in a wrong way though his intentions are good. He is a mature, sensitive and sensible guy, he stands by what is right but he went wrong in few instances (tell me if you differ on some of the following points)
He called Ananya criminal before really getting any proofs of that and we know that one of the main rules of law is that " a suspect is innocent until proven guilty"
He said he should only hate her, why should he? Even if she is a criminal?! Normally if you do things professionally why would you think you should hate her, you would catch her and let the justice take its course in a normal way, why would you have any feeling be it hate or anything towards the whole thing.
Obviously, we know that he was just fooling himself, he never hated her ever, not even when she married him dokhe se, he was just hurt then because she lied to him and hoped she was really honest and she did it really for him but he knew she was lying. He had feelings for her since day 1, but still what he was saying was kind of irrational basically because he was in denial mode. I know Ananya didn't give him reasons to trust her as she kept lying to him but still he can't outright judge her. I agree with what you said Mandy, in that bathroom scene when he saw the huge effect Ananya has in him, he said that he can't have humdardi for her as she is a criminal while in fact what he wanted to say is that he can't love her, first because he suspects she is hiding something, secondly because he felt he is betraying Juhi's memory, another reason is he wouldn't want to fall in love again and lose his love!. About Juhi, If we remember the day of haldi when he had that dream where Juhi put Ananya's hand in his, he went back to his room and and took Juhi's picture and talked to it saying that no one can take her place in his heart, he knew very well it was too late and that happened already but he kept denying it.
The marriage with Rhea was another wrong thing he was about to do, even if it was fake and even if his intention was to find out Dayavanti's truth. He was thinking then that Rhea is just a victim of her grand mother's blackmailing, yet he decided to go ahead and fake a marriage with her! what about what will happen next when truth comes out, what about the girl's reputation when people would find that it was a fake wedding?!!!
The same thing happened when he used her to prove Avni's innocence. Neil used Riya, it's not ethical, I know Riya is no white pigeon, what she did was disgusting (tarnishing a woman's repuation being a woman herself!!!) but what matters most to me is Neil's character and his principles, the bottom line is that he used her without her consent to prove his point and he published the pictures in a newspaper which made her reputation questioned. At least they could have shown that the newspaper was fake and he made it only for that purpose and there are no other copies of it that went to the general public, they could have also shown that he is well aware of what Riya did to tarnish Avni's reputation, so to make her understand her mistake he put her in the same situation she put Avni in , all this obviously without having the newspaper diffused. These few little details could have avoided me raising questions about whether the way Neil tried to prove his point was right or wrong, for me it was wrong because these few details weren't included, he could have called his friend Malini and with her consent made that whole act and obviously with no diffusion of the newspaper. That would have been ethical, as it would have been an act, the person involved aware of it, she being a cop would understand too.
He faked friendship with Ananya, he knew she was sincere about it, he said main hamesha tumhari saath hoon, ek police wale ka farz nibhate hoon, yeh dosti ka jootha natak kara hoon, tumse saach bolvane ki liye. Now I know he didn't have ill intentions, he never had, he really wanted to do his duty of a police officer but why say that he was faking friendship? did he really believe he was faking, despite trying to convince himself of that, he was very much involved emotionally in all this, he was telling his mind that he is doing his duty, but his heart always wanted to help her and trust her and at some corner of it he did, but she kept lying to him and that hurt him a lot, it hurt him that she couldn't trust him
It's complicated lool, his love for his duty was/is real, so was/is his love for her, but the way he did things wasn't always right and as many of you said he was at times too strict in his perception of right and wrong, in abiding by laws despite feeling that maybe she was wronged, it was only when he got a proof that Dayavanti can really be what they are saying since she wa ready to force her grand daughter to marry for money, that he stopped pursuing Avni and wanted to focus on Dayavanti to find the truth as he wouldn't want an innocent person to be wronged
Another thought is maybe the reason why he wanted Avni to tell him the truth and trust him is actually to prevent her from doing something wrong which has irrevocable consequences, basically to save her from her ownself!
Anyways I might have gotten some things wrong, I need to rewatch and observe things more clearly, moreover human feelings and psychology are very complicated, there is not one single thing involved, it's a combination of things.
He is a wonderful man because his intentions are good and he tries to do the right thing, I love that he is strong headed and stands by his beliefs no matter what but at the end of the day he is a human being so mistakes can happen, in his case mainly because it's a matter of perception and beliefs."
This one is a post I made back during the jail track, about Neil's harsh wayshttps://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4938492"
I feel no matter how much we try, there is just that much that our feelings and brain at a particular point of time make us understand and focus on.
The harsh ways! I always keep wondering about Neil's extreme ways of dealing with things, and whether they are really always needed, whether there is no other way of getting the same result without inflicting so much hurt and pain on ur loved ones. I have no doubt that he is a very loving, sensitive guy but I wonder about his methods, yes they are very convincing in the sense they make u really believe the act be it leaving the altar, faking Juhi's death or now breaking the marriage with Avni, but yaar they are very humiliating and very hurtful! I kind of understand the reason behind them given some situations but I always wonder whether doing it in such an extreme way is needed, in all the three cases the hurtful element would have been less had he within the same ways tried things with a slight difference, apologizing to guests during the altar act, if Avni and he know it is an act, he could at least save the family's reputation in front of guests, he could have for example informed the family about faking Juhi's death, then at least no risk of someone having a heartattack seeing that, and in breaking the shaadi even if he wanted to convince Avni, the anger he showed and his words were enough, he could have avoided breaking the mangalustra (I know it's the fake one) and wiping harshly the sindoor (the upper layer of it), the hurt would still be there but without that hurtful flash. As I said his acts are very convincing to the people seeing them (family or others) but the hurt is strong, not everyone has the ability to understand, some few things are very impactful to forget easily!
Hence I say that drama and plots are eased through Neil, through the way Neil deals with a situation either through his harsh ways, or not always saying explicitely and immeditely that he trusts Avni till he proves it in another way (Ali-Avni fiasco), not saying he loves her post Juhi's come back, he told that to everyone else but her just so that CVs keep the angst and the confused state of Avni and once again here, for whatever reason they made him do that in front of everyone, it was for drama maybe in part for Vidyut as well to see it, but if we see Neil he usually never tells her off in front of others not even when he is the one hurt (when she married him doke se), he told her off once though when she took Juhi out thinking Vidyut is under custody but then he never intended to hurt her. So actually unless it is an act, Neil would never not even in his anger hurt Avni intentionally, Avni might get frustrated and utter hurtful things to get back at him for the hurt she feels but Neil never believes in that way.
Now to Avni, I think even if she thought about Neil's dialogues before the arrest scene and even if she felt something fishy, the impact of all the flashbacks from the past and the hurt during the scene where he broke the marriage will be so strong that she won't be able to think beyond it, because pain is there in her heart it won't let her even if she wants to, I feel that she wonders about the hows and the whys but the chaos in her head will make her feel so exhausted to see such contradicting things that she would just want to shut all those voices in her head and just focus on one thing!
I know she is suffering a lot I really know and I know it's in no case easy and you should be really in her shoes, having all those thoughts and flashs from the past haunting u and never giving u a second of peace and him breaking the relationship, to feel what she must be really feeling, she must even be so tired to even understand the hows and the whys and just want to get rid of the pain she is feeling. I imagine anyone in her situation would feel deeply hurt and humiliated especially in front of everyone. I mean he usually never tells her off in front of everyone minus when he told her off about taking Juhi out yaar not even when she married him doke se so it would be hard for her to see that man she is used to see by her side being the one hurting her that way, if it was someone else it wouldn't have impacted her this way.
I hope he carefully thinks about what he is doing, I hope CVs in their attempt to prolong the misunderstanding don't make him hurt her further, I mean isolated confinement and all that.
I also want him to understand where he went wrong. I want both to realize where they went wrong, only then they will avoid repeating the past mistakes but the fact remains she is more vulnerable due to her past and the fact that it's being relived by her but I hope that doesn't prevent the introspection and retrospection once the entire situation is cleared, it might take time, require distance, I have no problem with that as long as it happens, and as long as I can see their love for each other always highlighted even when they are away from each other!
Anyways that was the chaos in my own head LOL, so u can imagine the chaos in their own heads with Avni, her past, her hurt, her heartbreak and Neil having a lot on his plate as usual (guilt and tadap, need to free her, to tackle Vidyut...)"
These were few posts, rest I used usually to discuss in the EDT or while chatting with my friends and if anyone doubts the reaction I had to the engagement
then there is a very recent post I posted right after watching the episode https://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4981881&PID=146984508&#p146984508"
Today Neil has completely lost it, he has gone overboard he is blinded by his hurt,ego (which original Neil never was) that he doesn't see what's wrong and what's right, the kid's wellbeing should be his priority, he didn't fell in love with a normal girl like u said, he fell in love with a Avni who is complexed and has a past baggage, but today he is focused only on his pain and reacting to what he takes as her betrayal, yes hiding the truth from him about his kid is very wrong and we understood his outburst yesterday but keeping the kid away from his mother is wrong! the Neil we know in his senses would have never done this, this is a man who is focused only on his pain
I miss the Neil who used to see Avni's pain, who had no ego, this one is blinded by his rage and is taking all the wrong decisions! Even I won't defend him today! He is treading the path of destruction. For the sake of his old love, he should have at least avoided the battle in court, how insulting to their love, see it's not about how any man in his situation would have reacted, I know he is a human being but he is Neil khanna the man who held love in a high position and respected it, asking for visiting the kid and spending time with him even legally would have been understandable but asking for the permanent custody of the kid is wrong because a kid needs his mom the most no matter what, who is he to decide that Mithali is the perfect mom, he didn't even ask Mithali and Mithali is another dumbo, she sees clearly he is reating out of anger and she is going ahead destroying her life as well!
I feel bad for Mowgli the most! poor kid!
What the old writers and I know for a fact that one of them was there since the very beginning of AvNeil journey till few weeks back, what those writers established with the characters in more than 13months is being destroyed by the new writers who are going the cliched way that too few weeks before the show 's scheduled last episode!
Only loyal viewers lost in the politics of behind the scenes! Sad to see such a beautiful love story and such beautiful characters come to this!"
But the thing with me is despite having the AvNeil fans feelings, I try to put them aside for a while and analyze things with some objectivity though it's not always easy, I wouldn't want to be harsh or judgmental, yes there is what my heart wants and it will always want that, I never wanted Neil to propose another woman (honestly this is the thing that has affected me the most since the day I started watching NK and it's still), I never wanted Avni to ask another woman to fight for him instead of doing it herself, I never wanted them to fight a case in the court, I never wanted Avni to hide such a big truth of having a kid from Neil even after Vidyut's death. These things kind of put a dag on AvNeil's beautiful love story for me
Only someone in their shoes can feel what they are going through but in the recent scenario honestly and objectively the weight is more towards Neil, I understand her past and all the sacrifices she made but I feel consequences wise, u might differ and disagree, that she is responsible for the current situation to a huge point not because she made a mistake in the past but because she never tried to fix it in the present and it ended up in the snow ball we have now. As I said I understand what made her do all this I understand she is closed person, she is very conscious, her self respect can't allow her to fight at hearing I hate u, she thinks she is a bad omen, she is scarred etc but it doesn't change the consequences
I reiterate and honestly that I don't judge her, I want her to be happy, I want AvNeil to be happy after all what they have been through, hence I feel sad that the show will end in 3weeks at this particular track because I feel from this track they need to rebuild the trust and remove the bitterness, they need to work on their relationship to get back the understanding and the trust which were two of the major USPs of their unconditional love, I want them to heal each other with love, because they both need it now not only Avni but also with working on the root of their problems, I wouldn't mind psychiatric help and marriage counseling as well, though love and a real realisation of what went wrong and why are enough to solve the majority of the problem
Edited by Survival - 7 years ago
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
