Interlude 20: The Taste of BloodA/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
Happy Reading! :D :D
The darkening skies greeted his vision as he blinked his eyes repeatedly, his entire body sore. Ranveer looked around the place disorientedly as he couldn't fathom where he was and how he'd gotten there in the first place, except that something felt empty within him. Blinking his eyes again, Ranveer propped himself up after a couple of minutes when he realized that the surroundings around him wouldn't be getting any brighter, rubbing his temple in irritation as he was seized by another urge of darkness, unconsciousness descending upon his senses like an oblivious fog.
The memories from earlier in the day returned to him gradually as the dizziness abated, leaving behind a sharp surge of anxiety in his heart. Now that Ranveer had once again found himself awake in a reality that he didn't want to be a part of in the first place, the thoughts had returned and so had the daunting emotions. But overtaking the two of them was fear. There was a strange fear that suddenly paralyzed his heart, as though something was terribly wrong. As though there was something happening that shouldn't have been happening in the first place.
Ranveer pushed himself up to stand upon his feet after several failed attempts, struggling to clear his vision that suddenly had stars popping in front of him. He'd never stayed back in the forest post sunset and the onset of the night upon his dome of solace only seemed to captivate him by the strange beauty it had. There was something powerfully mystical about the night upon the sheath of nature that had a terrifying allure about it that the day lacked, something that reminded him so much of Ishaani ever since he'd first seen her when he was nine.
Ishaani!
Ranveer felt his breath get hitched in his chest as he remembered Ishaani's frenzy and anguish, the memory of the pain in her voice searing into his heart like ice knives. And every time her eyes flit across his mind in tormenting memory, it only intensified the paranoia that he already couldn't help feeling, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. There was something terribly wrong, oh yes, and years of experience had taught him that whenever Ishaani was emotionally distraught, nothing good ever came out of it.
Getting his breathing in control, Ranveer quickly wiped away the remnants of the tears upon his face as he knew that he had to search for Ishaani. This was not the end of his answers, it was just the beginning. And he had to make sure that she was alright for his heart seemed to throb against his rib cage with a violence that only seemed to frighten him more. It had never beat at all (much less like this) in those six and a half years dating from that night. And the sudden throbbing, and so painfully at that only seemed to increase the ill-boding in his heart.
Moving his feet one ahead of the other in what began as a struggle to walk, Ranveer gradually picked up pace as he ran blindly through the wilderness, his heart only urging for him to run faster and faster as it felt the life draining out of it for real. It was as though he was running against time to save his life that only ever belonged in the hands of the one woman he ever loved and yet, his maimed soul was awakened from the dead as it could sense the danger.
The danger that it's other half was dying somewhere else.
Ranveer didn't know how long it took for him to run through the darkening thickets as the forest finally began to open, the darkness of the sky impenetrable by the time he reached the road once again. The entire road was empty as Ranveer looked around helplessly, remembering in remorse that Ishaani had taken along the car with her while his phone had no signal. Cursing fluently underneath his breath, he ran towards what he supposed would be a bus stop a little distance ahead from what memory served him years ago during his several flights from life into this little paradise of his own.
And somehow, even though Ranveer was sure that he'd run almost three kilometers non-stop in the proceeding minutes at a speed he couldn't believe himself, he didn't lose breath as he finally came to a stop at the bus-stand, thanking his luck that the bus was expected to arrive in the next five minutes, and it did. The rest of the journey remained a blank to him as he stared out from the window, trying to keep his thoughts positive about Ishaani, even though he knew it in his guts that he wasn't overreacting.
The moment he'd entered network coverage area, he'd begun firing away calls to everyone he knew but only received the same response - she hadn't returned back to the office and had called up the office to inform that she was going home to the Parekh Mansion and was not to be disturbed at all. He didn't know whether he was to believe what everyone were saying, but somehow his instincts only seemed to be leading him to the Parekh Mansion even though he didn't want to step foot into it. It was a past that he'd been running away from in those six and a half years, hoping to never walk back through those doors again that'd only bring him sour memories, he knew.
And yet fate had brought him right upon the same doorstep today against his will.
-x-
Ishaani slipped on a sleeveless peach nightie that fell above her knees as she eyed her arms in loathing. The scars were now glowing freely under the dim lights of the room as she took off the bandages hiding them away, staring at them in contemplation. The two scars from the previous night were still blooming red and purple against her milky white skin while the other two remained faded, on the way of becoming non-existent in a matter of a day or two.
She'd lost control upon herself, she knew, and everything was over and done with. She'd pushed him away from her once again this afternoon just like she'd grown accustomed to, even though she'd wanted to do just the reverse. All she'd wanted to do was cry and break down into his arms. But nothing ever worked in her favour no matter how much she tried, and she was tired of it.
She'd worked and worked for four years to be an equal to Ranveer just so that when she met him the next time, she could meet eyes with him and tell him proudly that she'd not let her setbacks in life hold her back from achieving what he and her father had once dreamt for her. Just so that she could say that she was good enough for him and she'd worked her way to earn it.
But all that she'd done was accuse him of something that she couldn't even blame him for because at the end of the day, it had been her stupid request to write the book in the first place. And he'd done it just to make her happy, like always. And what had she done this afternoon? She'd accused him like a coward for being the one responsible for ruining her life when in all reality, she knew what the truth was. She was not good enough for him. She'd never be. And no matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to wipe away the black from her ledger.
So she decided to flood it with red.
She knew it the moment she'd accepted the scalpel back into her life that it was an addiction she wouldn't be able to let go off this time, but she didn't know that she'd lose control upon herself like this in a matter of just nine days. She had four scars upon her arms already, and yet she only yearned for more as the demons in her mind buzzed in accordance. Yes, she had to eliminate black with red. She had to drown away the voices once and for all. She had to let her pain bleed away.
That was the only option.
Ishaani stared at her reflection in the mirror, the prominence of her sunken look against her pale skin a mark of the life that she could feel seeping away from her soul. Ranveer couldn't love her after this. Not after what she'd done to him again today. She'd kissed away her last chance of reconciling with Ranveer goodbye when she pinned the blame upon his head, and there was no solace in this world anymore.
Only her soul on fire that was beginning to consume her a little more with every passing minute.
And she couldn't live like this, she knew. Not anymore. Not in a world where there was no probability of Ranveer loving her anymore. She couldn't take it anymore. She simply couldn't. Ishaani tore away her gaze from upon the mirror and made her way into the washroom, fearless suddenly. She didn't care about anything anymore. She didn't care about the consequences anymore. If not for Ranveer, then she'd have to live for her revenge that was at its last stage.
Just a few days more and it would be complete.
Then she could die in peace, she knew. She'd achieved everything that she wanted to in those four years, and she'd accomplished everything that her father had once dreamt for her. And they'd be able to fulfill his legacy as well, now that she knew she could trust Ranveer to do it. She'd hand him over what was rightfully his own now and then... then she could shut her eyes for good. No pain, no emotions, no baggage of the past. Everything gone and done away with. She couldn't win back her happiness and the person who'd bring along with him her happiness, but like life had taught her early on, not all fairy tales had a happy ending.
She stood in front of the mirror in the washroom and smiled at herself with a hollow grimace, knowing that there was only one way of keeping herself alive tonight if she had to live long enough to see her revenge bear fruit. She had to be in control. No matter how many times she'd have to scar herself for that tonight. By the end of it, she had to be in control. She didn't care about what the consequences would be, but she knew that she had to embrace the scalpel tonight warmly, its services needed now more so than ever if she had to remain alive long enough.
Ishaani pulled open the cabinet beside her and withdrew the scalpel that sat in wait for her, smiling at it as though embracing a child. Yes, this was what would set her free when she was done with everything. This was what would set her free tonight from the demons that seemed so triumphant in tearing apart her heart and soul. Her being. Miss Parekh was long forgotten away, and so Ishaani had to bleed enough for her to return. She had to embrace the cold, manipulative bitch back again. But she had to bleed...
She had to bleed out everything for it.
Twirling the cold metal in between her fingers with a satisfactory nod of her head, she looked into the mirror and smiled. There would be no Ranveer to stop her today or to be her voice of reason because her conscience begged for freedom now. The freedom to not hurt anymore. The freedom of not being a coward anymore. And she'd get away with it, she knew.
Because there was nothing that could stop her tonight.
Not even Ranveer, in illusion or person.
Meeting eyes with herself for once last time, she felt the scalpel run the length of her skin as the metal pierced her flesh just below the bridge of her lower arm, bringing along the blood with it in a tantalizing harmony as she saw it drip towards her wrist sickeningly while agony coursed through the length of her arm. There was pain, she noted to herself bitterly, and if she needed to be in control of herself, there had to be no pain. And so she let the scalpel run along the length of her other arm in the same pattern, the pain even more this time as she her knees buckled and hit the ground with a bloodcurdling yell, more blood oozing out from the new wound than the previous one while her demons jeered at her with just one word - coward.
The freak show had begun.
-x-
Ranveer hopped down from the bus as he made a quick run towards the Parekh Mansion, his memory making the trip easier from eleven years' worth of experience. RV had been long since forgotten back at the forest, trampled underneath the never-ending pain that Ranveer had left behind for the forest to withhold for now. But from the forest had taken birth again the old Ranveer, his heart trampled and soul torn, yet alive enough to finally breathe into the world that he'd long since abandoned in the quest for embracing death.
But there was no time for Ranveer to think about his life or death, not when Ishaani's was at stake. Finally arriving at the gates of the mansion after a couple of minutes, his feet came to a standstill, staring at the house aghast. The mansion was as magnificent as always, perhaps even more so with the way it was kept. And yet there was a cold, eerie, unwelcome feel about the mansion that set his teeth on edge. It was as though the happiness had died away with his mentor, leaving behind in its wake only the ghosts of the past trailing along the walls of the once-exquisite mansion in the form of long-lost memories.
Ranveer silently pushed open the gates as he walked towards the main door of the mansion, his mind suddenly exploding with hundreds of memories that he'd created in a house that had been his refuge for years. The house that had ultimately led him to becoming the man he was today. He didn't know what to expect inside the doors of the house if the exterior itself threw him into the pits of nostalgia ever so daringly.
His feet came to a halt as a watchman approached him hostilely, but was pushed back when another older face popped in front of him.
"Ranveer baba, is that... is that you?" asked the old man hesitantly as he eyed Ranveer in surprise.
Ranveer recognized him to be one of the old helpers of the mansion who used to work with him and his father during their days as drivers at the Parekh Mansion. Ranveer smiled slowly and nodded his head, not forgetting to touch the old man's feet.
"Vinod Kaka, how are you?"
"I'm good, son... I'm good... But look at you, all grown up and so well-dressed! Maalik was right... He'd have been extremely proud of you," he exclaimed suddenly in emotion as Ranveer could see his eyes tear up. Ranveer smiled awkwardly, looking around the place with newfound curiosity.
"Are any-"
"No, baba. I'm the only one from the old staff working here," answered the old man as he understood Ranveer's question. The latter nodded his head before the old man asked further. "How are Kailash bhaisahab and Amba bhabhi doing?"
"They're happy and well-settled in Surat," replied Ranveer with a gracious smile and the old man burst into a spell of reminiscence.
"Give them my regards, baba. Tell them that I do remember them, especially Kailash," he added and Ranveer nodded his head quickly, feeling his heart suddenly squirm even more so in anxiety than before.
"I will. They've conveyed their regards to you as well," replied Ranveer urgently, hoping to get a better idea about whether anyone else was at home or no. He did not like the lump that was beginning the form in his throat.
"Baba, you're kind. Is there something you wanted?" asked the old man as he noticed Ranveer's distress. The latter nodded his head and shot his question towards the old man, the urgency in his voice not gone amiss by either of them.
"Who is at home right now?"
"Nobody, except Ishaani baby. She's the only one who lives here now," he added, and Ranveer frowned.
"What'd you mean?"
"They all left from here after you left, baba. Maalkin lived alone for two months after Ishaani baby got married and then she passed away too. The house has remained empty ever since, especially after that Mehta boy put it up for mortgage. Ishaani baby won back the house the previous year and she's been living here alone ever since," explained the old man and it took Ranveer considerable amount of time to digest everything that was being told to him.
"Is- Can I meet her?" asked Ranveer finally as he snapped back into reality, feeling his heart suddenly go cold in even more nerve-wracking apprehension.
"It's best if you do. She didn't look to alright to me and she's asked everyone to leave her alone," remarked the old man in worry, looking in the direction of the house reluctantly.
Ranveer nodded his head as he gulped in panic, moving into the house without another word. And suddenly he was taken into a world of the past as he made his slow and gradual way towards his destination, the memories only growing sharper in clarity as the tinkles of laughter rang all over the place from the past amidst all the drama and the tears, the happy memories paramount even though his heart still throbbed with the same fear as he grew closer and closer to what he hoped was still Ishaani's room. The memories were immense and impossibly happy unlike he'd expected them to be, and it only made him long for a life that was no longer possible to go back to.
The memories scattered across the place as he saw his eighteen-year old self hide behind the very same door and watch a seventeen-year old Ishaani celebrate her birthday with her parents, the same eighteen-year old laying her down upon her bed while she was still inebriated under the influence of bhaang. And suddenly a ten-year old Ranveer sat upon the armchair in the room watch a nine-year old Ishaani asleep under the influence of shock when she'd broken the vase upon his hand by mistake.
He turned his head around to see a fourteen year old version of himself sit upon her bed with crutches while a thirteen-year old Ishaani struggled to hang his gifted painting upon the wall that now sat abandoned. And he suddenly remembered feeling the nineteen-year old Ishaani collapse against his twenty-year old self as she couldn't take the weight of his decision anymore, her mind too weak after the vicious manipulation from Baa's end.
But all the memories vanished into thin air when her sharp voice cut through the air in a weak cry, the patronuses of the past inadequate for the dementors of the present. Ranveer quickly rid himself of his blazer and vest and threw them upon the bed as they suffocated him all the more, loosening his tie from around his next as he walked towards the washroom. He could feel his heart beat into his mouth, the fear at its peak as the weakened sobbing only got stronger until he pushed open the door hesitantly.
Ranveer could have sworn that death had befallen upon him like never before with what he saw before his eyes. Ishaani lay fallen upon the floor in a heap as both her arms remained bloodied, her peach nightie stained crimson in several places. He noticed that she stared at something metallic in her grip as she sobbed unabashedly, traces of blood smeared even across her face as she kept repeatedly wiping her tears away. Blood remained splattered across the floor in messy pools as Ishaani raised her hand once again, the metal close to cutting at the side of the wrist.
"Ishaani, no!" yelled Ranveer, as he ran into the washroom, looking aghast. Ishaani's arm froze midway as she turned her head towards the door of the washroom, looking disbelieving.
"Stay back! Back away!" yelled Ishaani, shooting upon her feet in a matter of minutes, shocked and disoriented. She swayed dangerously for a couple of seconds as she stared at him, her hair hanging down in frizzy curtains while she wiped away some more tears that left her eyes ruthlessly.
"What- what the hell are you-" began Ranveer, his words incoherent as Ishaani kept recoiling behind unstably until she hit the shower glass behind her. Her hand that hit the glass behind for support left a gory print that only made it even more sickening for Ranveer to witness.
"Why have you come here? To watch?" spat out Ishaani as she waggled the scalpel in his direction, giving Ranveer a good view of the same. He raised his hands in surrender as he crept closer to her, hoping to snatch away the metal from her hand by catching her unawares.
"Ishaani, give me the scalpel."
Ishaani shook her head as she tried to run past him, but all he did was catch hold of her and pull her outside the bathroom, holding her arms gingerly as she hissed in more pain. Her grip upon the bloodied scalpel remained strong still, Ranveer noticed. On observing her arm closely, he realized that she'd given herself six scars already for the night.
"Go away, Ranveer... Please, go away... Let me die..." she moaned against his form as she shook her head vehemently, trying to writhe against his grip with all her strength even though Ranveer kept his hold upon her strong enough.
"Ishaani, snap out of it!" yelled Ranveer, but in vain as Ishaani managed to free herself out from his grip.
Before Ranveer could do anything, Ishaani tried to draw another scar upon her left arm. He caught hold of the scalpel's blade as he pushed her against the wall, his gaze never leaving her own even once. Ranveer could feel the scalpel cut into his palm excruciatingly as they both struggled to keep their grip upon it, never their eyes once wavering from upon each other's. There was a fire about the way they stared at each other that they'd never felt before.
It wasn't love against passion anymore. It was life against death.
Ranveer stared at her blankly as the pain of the scalpel cutting through his skin didn't bother him, his face as expressionless as though nothing had happened. He could only remark to himself that after living with so many years of pain, it had made him numb to it. And as he felt his blood mingle with Ishaani's own upon the scalpel, he only smiled at her coldly.
"Drop it, now," he warned, his eyes still staring into her own with the same heat.
"I won't," she whispered back stubbornly, only strengthening her grip upon the scalpel that didn't go amiss by Ranveer.
He wracked his brains hard enough to think of some way to distract her for long enough to snatch the lethal weapon out from her grasp, until he landed upon the most unreasonable one in his opinion, that he grudgingly knew would do the best.
"You've stabbed me once already, Ishaani. It doesn't matter to me anymore because I cannot feel pain anymore. I can let myself bleed upon the scalpel the entire night and you'll not see me flinch," he boasted in a low voice, throaty enough for its impact to catch her straight in the heart as she flinched upon his words, as though burned.
"Then why're you still here? Why don't you just let me die?" she braved in whisper as her eyes never once left his own, her mascara now smudged. It only made the circles around them more pronounced.
"Because my life is latched to yours. You die, I die, it is as simple as that," whispered back Ranveer in a silent whisper, his answer an instinctive one as the words slipped away from upon his lips even before he knew what he was saying.
"Then let me die! I'm tired of doing this anyway! I killed you! I killed you that night! Let me die now, please! Please!" begged Ishaani restlessly as she began struggling against him once again, but this time too firmly pinned against the wall for any chance of success. Ranveer felt the pain hit his heart as he hissed in the agony that she was going through.
"Ishaani, you don't-"
"Don't you see it, Ranveer? I'm not good enough for you... for anyone... And no matter what I'll do, I'll never be... There's too much of black, Ranveer! Please, give me the scalpel, please... I need to be in control... please, I'm begging you!" she yelled at the top of her voice, her manic pleas only frightening Ranveer more and more, driving out any more ideas of trying to get her to snap out of it.
"You know what you are, Ishaani? You're a coward. Because this is what a coward does," he said at long last, hoping that the taboo word would be strong enough to snap her out from her stupor. It didn't.
"SHUT UP!" roared Ishaani as she wrenched the scalpel out from his grip violently while Ranveer gasped in pain as the scalpel cut through his fingers.
He looked at her aghast as she was about to aim for her wrist, Ranveer catching hold of the blade once again at the last second. And just like that, she exploded in a bout of eccentric yelling suddenly.
"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SAVE MY LIFE?! LET ME DIE! PLEASE! JUST LET ME DIE! LET ME DIE, LET ME DIE, LET ME DIE, LET ME DIE, LET ME-" yelled Ishaani in an insane desperation, trying to fight against Ranveer's grip upon the scalpel futilely as she no longer refused to listen to sense.
And in a sudden fit of intuitive reflex, Ranveer let go of the scalpel as he felt his hand fly across her face harshly, hoping that the sharp contact of his bloodied hand against her face would help her snap out from her daze of insanity. She stared at him, gobsmacked for a moment as words failed her and tears only seemed to pour out more.
"Now you shut up and listen to me! There is nothing wrong with you, alright? NOTHING!" he yelled back in return, hoping that the slap would work in returning her senses back to her that seemed to have taken departure. She stared at him, looking every bit as stupefied as he felt for ever raising his hand upon a woman before she finally found her voice.
"How- how dare you- you slap me?!"
Ranveer glared at her angrily as he felt himself suddenly overcome with an anger that only drove him to the point of lunacy.
"This is what I should have done all those years ago that night when you just wouldn't listen to me because had you just listened to me, you'd have not just saved your own life, but mine as well! You know what you are, Ishaani? You're a coward! You knew it that night that you were in love with me all along now, didn't you? Didn't you? But you were too afraid to admit it to yourself because you knew that the only way you'd get over your demons was by killing someone! And you sought to kill me just like the way I'd killed you with my decision of going to Sydney! You just wanted to make me bleed like the way I made you bleed!"
Ishaani struck him harshly against his face in as her eyes expressed an anger that matched Ranveer's, both of them breathing heavily in pain as the mistakes from the past danced around them in tandem.
"And this is what I should have done when you took that stupid oath! You would have never left me had you been my true friend. My real friend! Why did you leave me when you didn't like Chirag at all? Why did you leave me when you knew he was manipulating us?!"
"I didn't know that for certain!"
"You know what, Ranveer? You were the real coward that night because you pushed your insecurities above my deranged and crazed behaviour! Had you been my true friend, you'd have never left me!"
"I left you so that you could be happy, dammit! I left you so that you wouldn't have to live day after day with the memory that I'd betrayed you! So that you'd never have to live with the source of your unhappiness - a servant! Because that's what I was always to you! A servant!"
Ishaani fell quiet abruptly as the word struck her like the strike of a bullet, her head hitting the wall behind with a thud as her eyes shut, her body suddenly overcome with sobs that wracked her entire frame. Her feet slowly sunk upon the ground as her back dragged along, falling upon the floor in a heap as she now cried and howled at the top of her voice, speaking in between gasps.
"I love you so much, Ranveer... More than you'd ever imagine... But I destroyed that with my own two hands... I'm not good enough for you... I'll never be good enough for you... I don't deserve you... Please, let me die... please, I'm begging of you..."
"Ishaani, look at me... Look at me..." pleaded Ranveer as he let himself fall beside her, taking her into his arms, her own falling uselessly upon his lap. He rubbed circles upon her back, trying to calm her down.
"I'm tired, Ranveer... I'm tired..." she moaned hoarsely as Ranveer nodded his head, feeling the same tiredness in his guts that she was talking about. He was tired as well - tired of being the cause of her pain every single time.
"Do you trust me?" he asked her after sometime, hoping that what he had in mind would work as Ishaani's howls of anguish only intensified with the passing minutes.
"With my life..." came back her reply in between sharp gasps and Ranveer nodded his head. He took her hand and gently slid it underneath his shirt, laying it upon where his heart beat. And as Ishaani shut her eyes to the rhythmic sensations of his heart beating against his chest finally, she let out a shaky gasp.
"People's lives begin when they're born into this world, Ishaani... But my life began when I first saw you when I was nine... And in all my life, there's only ever been one woman who I gave my heart and soul to, no matter what happened between us that night then. Ishaani, if you don't exist, this won't exist either. You die, I die. That's how it's always been, alright?"
"I'm tired, Ranveer... I'm tired of hurting so bad... I'm tired of being alone..." whispered Ishaani in a barely audible whisper as she held on to him as though for dear life, her eyes now drooping.
Ranveer knew what had to be done next.
"Ishaani, I need you to do something for me, okay? I need you to go change your clothes... Slip into something fresh..." he explained as he made to withdraw his arm from around her, but was held back by Ishaani at the last minute.
"No, don't leave me!" she begged aloud suddenly and Ranveer gave her an aggrieved look.
"I'm not leaving you anywhere, okay? Here, wait," said Ranveer as he gently extracted his arm from around Ishaani in spite of her protests and walked towards her cupboard, scrounging for something decent for her to wear. Pulling out a full-length sleeveless satin lavender nightie, he put it upon his shoulder as he pulled Ishaani upon her feet, catching hold of her when she nearly lost her balance.
"Go wear this and come out. I need to clean you up," he whispered kindly as he held her in his arms, making sure that she regained enough balance before he sent her back in.
"Don't leave me... Please..." she whispered in plea, her blood-shot eyes meeting his lifeless ones.
"I never left... Go clean yourself up and then I'll patch you up, alright?" he continued in the same soft tone, Ishaani nodding her head like a child. She lowered her eyes, suddenly spotting his bleeding hand.
"Ranveer... Your- your hand... It's bleeding... Did- did I do-"
"It doesn't matter, okay? Go and change out of this. I'll be talking to you so you know that I'm right here, okay?" he assured her, hoping that she didn't focus too much upon his badly bruised hand as he clenched it into a fist and hid it behind his back.
Ishaani nodded her head as Ranveer handed over the nightie that she slowly accepted, and walked into the washroom reluctantly. He heard the shower go on after a while as he constantly kept up a flow of one-sided conversation, though not entirely aware about what exactly he was talking about. Somewhere through his speech, Ranveer noticed the scalpel that had fallen upon the ground.
He picked it up, staring at it in repulsion.
He always hated her habit of digging her nails into her skin even as a kid. But the fact that something like that had turned into a monster of an addiction now made his heart go cold. He stared at the scalpel in dread as he wondered about how long had she been indulging into self-harm so dangerously, his mind too afraid to think anything further.
Fear had driven out everything from his mind - the dilemma, the resentment, the betrayal, everything. He knew it would return back soon. But tonight, none of it would haunt him. That much he was certain of. Ishaani needed him. Her Ranveer. He may have been a ghost of his past but he still had enough life in him to stand as her shield even today and save her from herself. There was no choice - it would always be her upon him. And she was in greater need to be saved than he was. He'd found the path to his old self back in the forest where Ishaani's essence in nature had injected the life back into the maimed Ranveer within him.
She'd only ever find her solace in his arms, he knew.
The sound of running water went off and Ishaani left the washroom a couple of minutes later, her hands still oozing blood even though she'd washed them clean. Ranveer gently made her sit upon the floor as he quickly ran into the washroom, bringing out the first-aid box along with a huge basin of water and a towel. Sitting beside her upon the floor, Ranveer quickly cleaned his hands of all the blood and bandaged his wound quickly before doing the same for Ishaani, the latter too emotionally shocked to react upon the sting of the antiseptic being applied upon her wounds.
Clearing up everything after a span of twenty minutes, Ranveer returned back to where Ishaani was now sitting with five separate bandages upon her hands, staring at the wall blankly before his presence drew her attention towards him. Ranveer felt his legs collapse as the exhaustion from the day finally crept over him, his back hitting the side of the bed a little harder than he intended it to as he sat beside her. He turned to look at Ishaani, who was already looking at him with tears in her eyes, shaking her head at him. Ranveer wiped the tears away from upon her face as he tiredly pulled her into his arms, letting her hand find the solace of his beating heart while his head rested upon hers.
"Why are you like this, Ranveer? You should have let me die tonight after what I did to you that night... And yet here you are, trying to tether me to life," whispered Ishaani in a small voice.
"Years ago, Love told me to run towards the light if I truly wanted to let go of everything. That's what I did tonight," replied Ranveer, not bothering to hide the pain in it anymore. There was no need for facades when their souls was stark naked in front of each other - bleeding and in dire need of love.
"You let go?" asked Ishaani and Ranveer shook his head.
"No, I tried to hold on to hope."
"Nothing's ever going to be the same anymore now, is it?" asked Ishaani after some time when the silence in between them became too much for her to take. The solace of his arms were a bliss of another Universe. Something she'd almost come to believe that she'd never feel in her life ever again.
"Probably not. But one thing always will," added Ranveer and Ishaani looked at him, confused.
"What's that?"
"I'm with you to the end of the line," replied Ranveer simply as his eyes met her own with a spark of same blazing passion all of a sudden, even though his eyes were otherwise still lifeless. The life was beginning to return; it hadn't returned in all its entirety yet.
"I don't want to live like this anymore, Ranveer. I'm just tired of being bound, carrying the weight of the world," she whispered into his chest as her head drooped more, her voice now inaudible even though he understood what she said from years of trying to understand her barrage of gibberish whenever she was incoherently upset.
"Then you need to let go, Ishaani," he replied, his voice not unlike a lullaby for her as the sweetness in it reminded her of all the times when he'd talk to her like this when she was distraught.
What wouldn't she have given to go back to that life again!
"You know better than anyone else how hard it is. I'm tired of hurting and of people hurting me, Ranveer. I'm just... tired," she stated, her hands falling upon her lap uselessly as she stretched her legs out, barely able to control the surge of tears that had now begun to fall from her eyes once again.
"I'm here, Ishaani. I'm here. And I promise that no one... no one is ever going to hurt you again. I promise," he stressed and Ishaani knew who he was talking about. She looked up at him and let her fingers trail upon his cheek haphazardly, sniffed back her sobs.
"How can you be so sure?" she asked in a silent whisper as the distance between them closed. Ranveer's lips kissed her eyes softly as he sucked away the tears from them, his lips trailing upon her cheek and caressing her skin softly. It made Ishaani feel a strange balm spread upon her aching wounds.
Both of them separated after a few moments and opened their eyes, Ranveer giving her a strong look.
"Because I'm going to stand in between everything that comes your way."
Ishaani smiled at him weakly as the tears continued to leave her eyes, her hand never once leaving Ranveer's chest as the warmth of his heart beating against her fingertips gave her the solace that her bloodied and bruised heart had been yearning for since years. Ranveer rubbed circles upon her back as he felt tears leave his eyes as well, crying silently beside her while he whispered the words 'I'm here' in a continuous mantra. He kissed the crown of her head every now and then, assuring her of his presence.
Years ago, there had been a similar night when they'd both remained propped against the side of his bed. He'd yelled and begged for mercy against life, hoping that death would claim him once and for all and would end all of his sufferings. That night, Ishaani had stepped in between and had taken him into her arms. He'd cried and begged into her embrace, his heart too weak and his soul too tired to fight anymore. That night, she'd done the work of being his messiah by saving his life. It was his turn to do the same tonight as she now held on to him like she'd found her elixir to life, he doing the same.
Too much had changed in between them to ever go back to being the same again. Too much had broken within them to be restored back to normalcy again. Too much had gotten damaged within them to ever go back to knowing the innocence that they once brimmed of. But both of them held on to each other in simple hope. A hope that there was still love in between them - jagged, raw and bruised love, yes. But still love. And as they shut their eyes and succumbed to the sleep that invited them ever so dearly, escaping from themselves and from the world around them with their breathing even and hearts beating in sync, one thing was certain.
Their hearts could never be made whole again, not without the scars remaining behind. But maybe love would eventually make them fade away. Who knew? Tonight, the stars and the moon dimmed their glow against the skies as they let the two souls mourn and heal, the Universe singing in joy of a story that was written across the sky in stars selected by the Almighty himself. And the Universe was a witness of the truth that neither of the two maimed souls dared to accept that night.
They hadn't fallen out of love; they'd just fallen out of the habit of being loved.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Chapter 1
Edited by LadyMeringue - 8 years ago
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