Confused soul!! Plz help if u can!!!

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Posted: 13 years ago

Hi frnds

I know it's quite lengthy but I wud request u to read it all...

I just want to share something with you... My life rite now is in total mess n I was hoping if u cud help me!!!

Actually, it's boy-problem!!! Ok so here's this guy who is my ex on and off (I mean v broke up then get back then again broke up n so on)...

But the problem starts with my parents wants me to get married! I know I sound totally bitch but truth is I don't want to marry him!! The thing is that v r in relationship from just last 4ish months (ok fine v were kinda best friends frm last 3ish years but still the dating relationship is just 4 mons old rite?)

So now my parents want me to get married (I don't know how I escaped till now, but in our families girls get married as they reach 18, n I'm lucky that I'm 20 n my parents gave me this much time)

Ok so I don't really mind getting married or maybe I do (I don't know I'm just confused, but that's not the problem), the problem is that he is Christian and I'm Sikh!! And there's no way my parents r gonna get ready for this marriage n even I'm not sure if I really want to marry him or not!!! And I'm so not going against my parents!!!

So couple of weeks ago, I thought of breaking up with him! And trust me, it was the hardest thing for me to do bcoz idk I can't be a bitch!! I told him everything nicely n told him abt my problem n y v can't b together...everything!!!

N he proposed me for marriage!!!!!

Ok I must admit I got totally blacked out by hearing him!! OMG!! Like he proposed me for a relationship that was just 4 months old??!!! Ok fine we were frnds for 3 yrs but still marriage is not abt frndship!!! I never ever thought abt him romantically in those yrs EVER!!! In fact I liked his brother!!! (ok that was a different story, I won't bring that into it)

So I refused to marry him bcoz I knew my parents wud never agree with this!!

And now he's not stopping to call me or text me n all that!!! He even put our picture on FB as a profile pic!!! When I saw it I was like WTH!!!

He keeps on calling me and pleading me n following me (he even came to India after me, can u believe that!!) n it's getting so hard for me to refuse him with all his pleading eyes and puppy-dog looks!!!!

Which is leaving me in a total emotional wreck!!! I have no clue what should I do!!!

If anybody has any advice for my situation, plz help!!!

I know I'm a totally confused soul!! But that how I am! I just can't change that!!!

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pulvi16

@pulvi16

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi Jazz,

Since you urself are not ready for this relationship then dont think yaar... and also since your parents will not agree to this marriage it is worthless and go ahead as per your parents wishes..
I would suggest u to stop worrying and relax...

one thing i didn't understand is if he really really loves you then he should not have kept ur picture on the FB profile. that it self says he is not truly loving you and all this is lust... but not LOVE..

But based on your description i am not liking this guy...(don't take me wrong...)

but please dont stop writing yaar... from the very begining idk why i felt that this story resembles your real life ...

Edited by pulvi16 - 13 years ago

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angili

@angili

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

First I am angili sweety
My advice would be do not marry him because:
1- you are not even remotely in liking terms with him you were just passing time or filling a void
2- if we suppose you love him (or not) and married him against you parents it will always prick your heart and miss your parents and without the blessings of parents the marriage would never be happy
3- and if you two gets married what about kids how you will raise them which religion which culture you will give them if Sikh may be your husband will not like it and if christianizem you may not like it and plus what if he does something against your religion believes like drinking or eating something is forbidden in Sikh what will do can you live with it
And the kids will be confused what to follow you or him because if they ask you about religion you will give them an answer and if they ask him he will give another answer so
I say don't marry him or talk to him justcut him out you don't love him you will lose your parents love and if he respects you he would never post a picture of you and him on face book he is no good I don't like him for this either so no from me I hope my advise helped

Edited by angili - 13 years ago

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393794

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

Ok jazz..

Here is my advice..

Believe me life is very serious

And marriege decision you have to take carefully it impact ur whole life

And also people involved with u

Don't just make up any decision on his pleading..

Just first ask yourself what u want..?

Are u that serious that u woud like to leave religion thing and everything behind for him..?

First ask urself..

N if u do love him to that extent then accept him

I would say Go Gal'.

But if u don't then merely bcs he is pleading don't accept..

N I can c u r not that seriously involved

If that is case leave it

He will be like this for few months then he will move on..

But don't put urself in problems for a person whom u don't love so much..

And don't think u look like bitch

Bcs u r just being wise..

Luv ya

Take care

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nazsij

@nazsij

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

take care dear...i will pray 4 u...i am not good in taking decisions...so i am not going to give any suggestion...but try to not hurt ur parents...

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krati

@krati5

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

dear.. being frank i want to say tht.

dn't consider d proposal... as no guy wuld do such thng of posting ur pic wd him on d fb... for me its a step to make u weak or (sry if i m being too much rude but) blackmail... (sry i knw u wuld be like she doesn't knw me syng nythng , but i jst want to say tht)

by his ds action . igt is clear tht guy hs no respect for u... nd bugging u every time doesn't mean tht u shld think tht he truly loves u.. (sry again)

plus u knw(as u said, u r nt sure abt ds ) its jst u like him nd u knw too much abt him... u r hvng doubt ...

so i think u shld nt consider it...

love in which there is no respect... is nt a true one... it cn never make u happy...

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maaneetsangel

@maaneetsangel

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

hey jazz ,,,,... think about it with a peaceful mind n think what u want ...

coz ,,... its a matter of ur entire life ... n also involves people aroound u .. as in family n frnz ...

so think hard n then decide ...

just dont go with his pleadings ... like k what is my fault he was after me ...

hell nooo .. never do that ...

n a sincere advice ... ur parents wont take any wrong decision 4 u ...

so consider their choice ... n what ever u decide ... take ur parents into consideration n confess to them n do everything by taking their permission ... n confide in them ... they will surely help u out ...

they might get angry at first n scold u or worst slap u ... but at the end of the day ... they love u dearly n care 4 u ...

so believe in them ...

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chubzy

@chubzy

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi jazz i read ur problem and advices given by most of people n even i agree tat u shld not marry tat guy
Its jst tat his ego have been bruised n he calls his obcession as his love n jst for d sake of frenshp or out of pity u cant gamble wit ur life

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XXaquafireXX

@XXaquafireXX

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Hello Jazz!

I'm no marriage expert, but I have immediately detected from the way you were describing your ex that he is not good. If he truly loved you, he would not make a mockery out of you by putting that FB pic up for everyone to see. Quite frankly, I think he is insane to follow you around and keep pleading for you to be with him like a baby. Did he even consider what you might be going through? He's a jerk, selfish and a total a**hole (please pardon my language). Stick with your parents, they know what is best for you.

Aqua

p.s. Sorry if I sounded extra harsh...I just wanted to state what I felt...I'm sorry if I offended you or anything 😔

Edited by XXaquafireXX - 13 years ago

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Abgina

@crazydevil87

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

hey jazz I just wanna keep cool n take care...
m myself in not fully but similar type of situation so can't advice...
I feel blank while thinking bout these things...
luvya dear
take care

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Confused soul!! Plz help if u can!!!

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