Originally posted by: aye-masakalii
Hey y’all! I’ve been silently around the forum since I first started watching the show back in its second or third week. I tend to silently stalk forums of most of the shows I watch, but the discussions and analyses that go on here are leaps and bounds ahead of what I’ve seen anywhere else recently, and I couldn’t help but chime in with my own two cents. I also have the guts to do so, because till now I’ve only seen healthy discussions here without irrational bashing of characters or toxic fan wars, which has been so refreshing after some of the other forums I’ve lurked in. Hope there’s room for another member!
I sense Pallavi’s been losing out on support a little bit in the fandom recently (more so on Twitter than here, from what I can see, but there’s definitely been a tipping of scales when it comes to fandom support across the board). And I think that’s largely because the show has given us more of Raghav’s perspective than Pallavi’s in the past couple of weeks, especially with Shivangi’s absence in a few episodes. So, just to try and balance the scales a bit, I thought to pen a few words on Pallavi’s point of view.
Pallavi and the Deshmukh Clan
Ugh, okay, so I hate them all. From my reading of the scenario, it feels like Pallavi has been trapped in a deeply abusive relationship with that family. Only Nikhil cares a damn about her. Sulochana and Amrutha have not hidden their disdain, so I see no reason to address it. Mansi has turned out to be quite venomous herself. Milind, I believe, does care but I also believe in ‘impact, not intent’. As well intentioned as he may be, not once has he acted in a way to positively impact Pallavi’s life.
As for Vijay and Sharda, I don’t think either of them deserve the title of ‘Aai’ and ‘Baba’ from Pallavi. Apart from the night Sharda called Vijay’s bluff and walked out with Nikhil to find Pallavi after the kicking-out incident, neither of them have acted like parents. In the very first episode, their insistence on getting her remarried, even though she was visibly distraught at the idea, put me off, and it’s been downhill from there. Vijay was appropriately called out by Raghav for trusting him instead of his so-called daughter when he followed her to his house to investigate the nature of their relationship. Foreshadowing for when Vijay would once again believe Raghav over Pallavi when he assassinates her character. Sharda, while less abrasive, has also not been supportive. She can insist however much she wants that Pallavi should share her troubles with her, it’s all empty words for she’s never given her that comfort and security. The onus for developing that sense of security is not on the child.
That said, Pallavi has never had parents, she doesn't know what to expect. Her brother obviously did his best, but she doesn’t know what healthy, large families look like. What she does know is, her husband died on the night of their wedding, and when this family could have turned her out, and like often happens, blamed her for bringing ill-luck upon their young son, they shielded her from society and had her back. I believe she feels indebted to them. Add to that her promises to Mandaar, and I understand her unhealthy hero-worship of this undeserving lot. She’s aware she’s being mistreated- she has called out Mansi and Sulochana to their faces, and every word she said to Sharda when she came to stop the wedding was true, she didn’t pull it out of thin air- those are her actual emotions. Yet, the feeling of debt and the overwhelming desire to hold onto the family, makes her overlook it.
Also, holy shit, this is a slap happy bunch. From the barrage of slaps to Raghav, to Milind slapping Sulochana, Sulochana beating up Amrutha, Vijay slapping Farhad, Mansi’s slap to Nikhil and the physically violent way in which Pallavi was thrown out of the house….yikes. This is unacceptable, no two ways to it, and it really needs to stop. Between here and another show I've been watching on the channel, there's just too much normalizing of physical abuse, especially against men. I am not defending it, and will never do so. It's plain wrong.
I would love to see Pallavi realize that she needs to get distance from this lot, and become Pallavi instead of ‘Deshmukh-parivar-ki-vidhwa-bahu-who-they-accepted’, and I was so glad to see Raghav bring this up! Definitely won him some points from my end, and I’m so excited to see him follow through on that. But, it’s also important to acknowledge that moving away from the Deshmukhs needn’t mean moving towards Raghav. And coming to that…
Pallavi and Raghav
I’m so impressed with the redemption arc we’re seeing with Raghav right now. I think it was such a brilliant decision to execute this before the two fell in love- I’m so very glad that we get to see him repent not because he’s in love with the person who he inflicted his tortures upon, but because he’s a good person who made some terrible mistakes, and is man enough to own up to them and earn forgiveness. Similarly, I look forward to Pallavi’s forgiveness not because she’s in love with her former tormentor, but because she sees his genuine regret. It allows us to progress into the inevitable love story without the dark clouds of past deeds.
That being said, Pallavi has not seen what we’ve seen. She doesn’t know that the panic attack she walked in on was triggered by his guilt towards her. She hasn’t seen him cry at her bedside when she collapsed. She isn’t seeing his genuine attempts with the Deshmukhs. She isn’t witness to the conversations between him and his alter ego. So, what does Pallavi know?
She knows that the first time she met this man, he burned up her sari material, critical to her livelihood and that of her family’s, without a second thought or a moment of regret. She knows he purchased her shop with seemingly the sole purpose to make her life miserable. Sure, she shouldn’t have slapped him in the market without finding out what was going on- but he got back at her by kidnapping her and tying her down in the path of a speeding truck, so let’s call it even (though in my heart, that was disproportionate retribution). He then barged in on every wedding function of her sister, again, without any real reason (as far as she knows), despite her repeatedly telling him to stay away because it was causing issues for her.
The relationship between them mellowed down after the harrowing night with Lion, but the pregnancy-abortion drama immediately following, and him once again being desperate to get her to shut shop and leave the city didn’t help. Yes, he helped clear her name in the abortion mess, but from where she’s standing, he deliberately made it a bigger, more public affair than it had to, just to get under her skin. And once again, her misplaced attachment to her family prevents her from seeing beyond Mansi’s pain in that moment. Raghav’s only fault here was a lack of tact, but with the storm that hit her family after this, she couldn’t see beyond that and understand his point of view. Definitely selfish, and an error on her part, but given the state of the family that day (recall the night she walks around her house seeing every single family member in pain), I can’t say I don’t understand.
What happened after this was a complete shitstorm. He acknowledged her victory, and under the pretence of selling her the shop with dignity, got her to sign incriminating paperwork. For no apparent reason except his own shits and giggles, he broke shocking news to her family that she’d been covering up for the fear of her father’s health. Insinuated that she was a wh*re in front of her whole family. Yes, what happened next shows that these people have never been family, but that doesn’t mean Raghav didn’t trigger the sequence of events that lead to her being thrown out of her home, insulted and disowned, in the middle of a stormy night and her father ending up critically ill. As if this wasn’t enough, he gets her brother arrested and corners her into a marriage against her will. When he realizes he messed up, he comes to her, and doesn’t immediately apologize- he talks about how pathetic and undeserving the family he caused her to lose is. Yes, they are. However, it should have been her journey to realize that and cut them off, not an accidental and brutal consequence of his thoughtless actions.
Just think of what Pallavi has been through physically in the 13 odd days since the wedding- she’s fainted due to stress and trauma twice, while also recovering from chicken pox. Emotional trauma, explained above. When it got too much, she decided to leave, and when Raghav begged for a chance, she responded with tons more empathy and dignity that I would have in her position by giving it to him.
Now, yes, Raghav is being genuine and heartfelt. But, it’s just been a couple of days. The last time he was genuine and heartfelt, he agreed to sell her the shop, and we saw how that ended. She is wary, she should be wary. Again, we know he’s legit, she doesn’t. And even if she knows he’s genuine- she does not owe him forgiveness. Yes, it was sad to see her not consider him her husband, and the beautiful Tum Hi Ho sequence tugged all my heartstrings...but just because he accepts this marriage, she does not have to. His acceptance doesn’t change the fact that she was blackmailed into this situation. She does not owe him acceptance.
And to be honest, she is melting already. It’s so evident. In fact, it’s a testament to how kind she is that she’s seeing his efforts, she’s able to smile with him, and have conversations with him after everything that has gone down.
Pallavi’s Redemption?
Pallavi has gotten a lot of backlash for the mirchi thing today, and I am just unable to take that criticism seriously. Old Pallavi would have gone at Raghav, guns blazing, for daring to misbehave with her father, even to the extent we saw (and I’m sure Amrutha added spice to that tale, and Milind, as usual, watched disapprovingly). Instead, she responded with a harmless prank. How’s she to know about his allergy?? She assumed he’d have a bite, cough, have a glass of milk, and be over with it. Ab woh khud khushi khushi kha raha hai, toh Pallavi ko sapna aayega that he’s gonna have a deathly reaction to this? Come on, cut her some slack. We all know that had she had even a hint of the allergy, she wouldn’t have gone ahead with this in her wildest dreams. Raghav being masochistic here is not on her. And once she finds out, I’m sure she’ll respond with regret and care, and I think the matter can end there. One other demand I’ve been seeing quite often has been for Pallavi’s redemption...I’m sorry, what? Why does she need to redeem herself with Raghav? When has she wronged him?
To be honest, the one thing for which I’m disappointed with Pallavi right now is the lack of a conversation between her and Keerti. I think that’s a result of the shooting restrictions- recently all of Keerti’s scenes have been video calls with Sunny. I don’t think it’s on Pallavi to punish Sulochana and Amrita for what went down. Raghav, Jaya and Keerti have all the evidence and contacts they need to carry this through. If they’ve chosen not to (god only knows why), she doesn’t have the right to overrule them. I believe it would actually be disrespectful of her to do so. Nor is she now considered a member of the Deshmukh family, and she can’t respond through that channel. However, a quick hug between Pallavi and Keerti after she found out, even without any dialogues, would have been wonderful. For my own peace of mind, I’m choosing to believe this happened offscreen. While I don’t hold Pallavi responsible for what happened (and clearly, neither do Jaya and Keerti), Keerti is the one person apart from Nikhil who has consistently acted in Pallavi’s best interest and wanted her happiness from episode one. With the kind of empathy Pallavi has shown even Raghav during the worst of their relationship in the past (the accident, for instance), it’s impossible for me to believe Pallavi didn’t feel for her friend here, even while grappling with her own traumatic situation.
All in all, I’m definitely not claiming that Pallavi is perfect, but neither is Raghav (especially from her point of view). But honestly, if they were perfect, we wouldn’t watch them. It wouldn’t be a compelling story. A few days of kindness can’t undo the pain he’s caused her. Her eventual forgiveness is also not going to override his issues with love, as he said to Farhad today. They both bring baggage of exes who turned their lives upside down. I’m excited to see them learn to trust and love together- that’s the journey I signed up for!
Apologies for the massive word vomit here, and if you’ve made it till the end, would love to hear your thoughts!
Jaane Anjaane Hum Mile
Fan Fictions
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
