Do I need to be married to understand this?

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Julie

@4ever4love

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

I am serious. As i was watching today's episode my head was trying to understand all this conflict.

RK orders Madhu to leave the bar. Then he finally goes with her and tells her to never insult his friend. Next morning RK not only defends Ria again but throws the blame on Madhu and then hurtfully tells her that he needs his friend more than his wife.

I do not understand.

My reaction was: why is Madhu putting up with this crap? Pack your bags and go bye bye.

Then the thought strikes me. Am i failing to understand this 'stand by your man' and 'fight for your marriage alone' theory because I am not married?? Is this why I do not understand Madhu's point of view?

Would it be so terrible for a traditional Indian wife to walk away to save her sanity and further grief?

Because, except for (supposedly) good storytelling, I see no reason why Madhu continues to take this verbal abuse.

So to the married ppl out there. Explain it to me. Would you allow your spouse to have such a 'close' relationship with a strange woman?

Is this normal or has my brain finally been fried?

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Poluk

@Poluk

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

The first problem is it is never easy to break a relationship. Its very painful. If you give up easily then throughout your life you will be hounded with the question: did I do everything I could to save it?

In fact most bad relationships continue because of the fear of this pain- the pain of loss. It is very easy to say dump him/her but very tough to do if you actually love. While their is life there is hope.

And then a lonely life is not a very attractive option - a life without the person you love. That is why it is said that love can be your greatest strength as well as greatest weakness.

And in this case Madhu can see that RK still loves her. He is acting like a jerk because he is frustrated. He has literally become unhinged. What he needs is a lot of support and care like a small child. And MB did err in the intial stages by not understanding her husband and letting the problem aggravate. She now needs to pull up her socks and get him out of hole he is digging himself in.

This is also part of love - don't let the person you love harm even himself/herself - even at the cost of your self respect at times.

Ria is just a shoulder for him to cry on, an excuse to massage his ego. She is his pally in his path of deliberate self destruction. MB is trying to stop him from going down that path.

He was dancing with Ria in that cheap bar but could not tolerate the idea of MB being there for even a second. Think Why? Even MB knew this that is why sat in front of him in the bar.

This is his real sub conscious opinion of Ria. His shouting my freind is just an excuse to hide his follies - like a typical male.

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BloodDiamond

@BloodDiamond

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

Extremely apt question but u might get the Bhai bala jaap there as many are holding relation of Madhu-Sultan on same pedestal as RK-Ria . Situations are grossly different though but coming back to your post even I want to know from married women here . That the kind of relation the show is airing is it common to accept?
I mean take stars for instance SRK-Gauri ; would the latter accept SRK's drinking buddy if God forbid such a thing happens ? 😕

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Julie

@4ever4love

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Poluk
The first problem is it is never easy to break a relationship. Its very painful. If you give up easily then throughout your life you will be hounded with the question: did I do everything I could to save it?
In fact most bad relationships continue because of the fear of this pain- the pain of loss. It is very easy to say dump him/her but very tough to do if you actually love. While their is life there is hope.

And then a lonely life is not a very attractive option - a life without the person you love. That is why it is said that love can be your greatest strength as well as greatest weakness.

And in this case Madhu can see that RK still loves her. He is acting like a jerk because he is frustrated. He has literally become unhinged. What he needs is a lot of support and care like a small child. And MB did err in the intial stages by not understanding her husband and letting the problem aggravate. She now needs to pull up her socks and get him out of hole he is digging himself in.

This is also part of love - don't let the person you love harm even himself/herself - even at the cost of your self respect at times.

Ria is just a shoulder for him to cry on, an excuse to massage his ego. She is his pally in his path of deliberate self destruction. MB is trying to stop him from going down that path.

He was dancing with Ria in that cheap bar but could not tolerate the idea of MB being there for even a second. Think Why? Even MB knew this that is why sat in front of him in the bar.

This is his real sub conscious opinion of Ria. His shouting my freind is just an excuse to hide his follies - like a typical male.

well first, thank you for your response.

Next, thank you for such an amazing and well written and explained response!!

You have stated a lot of good and solid points. I can understand Madhu does not want to wonder "what if" all her life. Marriage is a commitment and she is only trying to save this relationship despite the pain it causes her.

And yes RK has sent confusing messages.

I guess I was getting frustrated. In my view, Madhu has actually suffered more than RK and yet she has no one to support her.

Madhu has always been the stronger one. And when I see RK acting so cheap, I get mad and think that Madhu should leave.

Thank you for making me think this over again.

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Sharoan

@Sharoan

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Poluk
The first problem is it is never easy to break a relationship. Its very painful. If you give up easily then throughout your life you will be hounded with the question: did I do everything I could to save it?
In fact most bad relationships continue because of the fear of this pain- the pain of loss. It is very easy to say dump him/her but very tough to do if you actually love. While their is life there is hope.

And then a lonely life is not a very attractive option - a life without the person you love. That is why it is said that love can be your greatest strength as well as greatest weakness.

And in this case Madhu can see that RK still loves her. He is acting like a jerk because he is frustrated. He has literally become unhinged. What he needs is a lot of support and care like a small child. And MB did err in the intial stages by not understanding her husband and letting the problem aggravate. She now needs to pull up her socks and get him out of hole he is digging himself in.

This is also part of love - don't let the person you love harm even himself/herself - even at the cost of your self respect at times.

Ria is just a shoulder for him to cry on, an excuse to massage his ego. She is his pally in his path of deliberate self destruction. MB is trying to stop him from going down that path.

He was dancing with Ria in that cheap bar but could not tolerate the idea of MB being there for even a second. Think Why? Even MB knew this that is why sat in front of him in the bar.

This is his real sub conscious opinion of Ria. His shouting my freind is just an excuse to hide his follies - like a typical male.

Well said👏

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Julie

@4ever4love

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: BloodDiamond
Extremely apt question but u might get the Bhai bala jaap there as many are holding relation of Madhu-Sultan on same pedestal as RK-Ria . Situations are grossly different though but coming back to your post even I want to know from married women here . That the kind of relation the show is airing is it common to accept?
I mean take stars for instance SRK-Gauri ; would the latter accept SRK's drinking buddy if God forbid such a thing happens ? 😕

First let me comment on the Sultan & Ria comparing. No, for me, there is no comparison. Yes RK was jealous - let's say - insecure. But Madhu never purposely spent time with Sultan. Yes Madhu used Sultan - with Sultan's knowledge - to hurt RK but when Madhu forgave RK she never purposely threw Sultan in RK's face. RK on the other hand has willingly started spending time with Ria knowing how Madhu will feel and he does not care.

I digressed too much from the original post! But SRK and Gauri? Gauri would put her foot down and SRK would do what his wife wanted.

RK & Madhu? I honestly believe Madhu is the only one fighting for her marriage right now. Madhu honestly has to be Superwoman.

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sree.gattu

@sree.gattu

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

to maintain marriage ,one has to bend and sometimes self respect also.here ,RK said don't want to hear any bad word about ria.but if you clearly heard his talks with Madhu at this stage where Madhu failed to understand him , so he said at this stage of his life he needs a friend not a wife . he also that he doesn't mean ria is more important than his wife or wife's birthday.he wants a person to listen his frustration, ego, pain whatever he wants to say but not interrupt him or ask thousands of questions expecting reply which Madhu is doing.

after talli night eventhough RK stops meeting ria ,ria comes to RK to create misunderstandings between RK and Madhu where Madhu easily falls in the trap. so here again raises problems between Rishbala as Madhu told RK they can solve problems by sharing their pains.when suspect increase RK thinks because of insecurities and jealous feeling [as RK is jealous and insecured with Madhu's friendship with sultan, samething happening now ,just vice versa] and definitely fights happen more between Rishbala end up RK revealing dark secrets with ria. later Madhu accepts ria as RK's friend as RK accepted sultan as Madhu's friend.now next ria's chaal should made maat by RK or Madhu.

Madhu leaving RK is not solution but fight with that ria is most imp now bali ka bakra hai Superstar RK where in tue sense he didn't identified ria as a person,he failed .

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Poluk

@Poluk

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

4ever4love and Sharoan thanks for liking my reply.😳

Edited by Poluk - 11 years ago

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Padfoot_Prongs

@Padfoot_Prongs

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

i dont know why r u talking about reality and logic especially when it comes to tv serial.

my one friend is facing divorce because she stopped being bullied by her husband and MIL within 2 years of their marriage.

but she is not that sad or crying. she tried her best to save the marriage but to a point. now she is feeling little better.

seeing this in real life i dont take the crap of being in love so much tat u loose ur self respect and let ur partner do anything.

i m hating ST showing the weakest woman.

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Manonidz

@Manonidz

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Its easy to walk off in such state of marriage but difficult to stick on whn ur partner is not making it easy for u at any stage. This is precisely what Madhu is doing. She is fighting for something she values, so i m nt shocked at her consistent efforts evn if she fails to achieve anything. Its her battle bcos Rk is on some other way.

Talking abt married people opinion, in the forum, well u might see some married ones strongly believing that Madhu deserved every single moment of pain and ignorance from RK after she became reason of his insecurity. 😆 sorry state of the show and this forum too.

Edited by Manonids - 11 years ago

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