This is the best OS I have ever laid my eyes on..Absolutely spot on with Nakku's dialogues, esp the way she talks and her sort of language/grammar has been captured so beautifully DD. I could just imagine Dutta's small smile on the corner of his lips.. just what we all love here …..
Aur bappa ke mandir mein leke jaane.. it is amazing.. see many of us here always wanted the revelation to be personal between these two.. but know that is unlikely to happen as it is an Indian show after all.. But hats off to you, even though there is Baaji and others around who have come after hearing Dutta break all the bottles, you have woven such a magical scene that in spite of all being there, for Tasha, it is just them.. they don't feel anyone around them which I believe is a master stroke, seriously I will be more than pleased if cv's actually follow your path as they can still do their 100W flashes on their grey faces, but still continue showing Tasha in their own world, nahin?!
Wow, using bappa's cloth to wipe off the colour.. u r a genius and a very sensitive writer to use that! Also Dutta not being smitten by her when he first sees her fair avatar is something I would really want and prefer this silent treatment he metes out to Nakku rather than all thod phod he does..
Finally, babi speaks up at laest in your OS.. it is a nice touch to have the mum explain this than Nakku.. more reasonable..
These lines are soooo beautiful.. seriously.. sniff sniff
Mein Jaanti hai aap Naku se bahut pyaar karte hai, aur mere jeene ke liye yeh kaafi hai...Mera dil to woh hi hai jo aapse pyaar karta hai, chahe kaali Naku ke andar rahe ya iss Naku ke andar! Bahut badnaseeb hai mein, sundar hai na, isliye. Yeh khoobsoorti hi meraa shraap ban jaayegi, meine socha nahi tha...Mere bus mein hota naa Sahib, Mein Bappa se bolti, Yeh roop le le, bus mere saab phir se mujhe dekhnaa shuru kar de! Naku ke sahib agar usse dekhte toh Naku Khoobsurat hai, nahi toh Naku kuch nahi!".
And this too is bringing a lump in my throat.. u have nailed Dutta and Nakku so perfectly dear..
Aise mein yahaan rahegi to aap mujhe apni patni toh bana loge, aap achche ho na isliye, lekin mere ko dekh nahi paaoge, apne se har pal ladoge, aur mein mar jaayegi yeh dekh kar."
Too emotional to write anymore.. how can you write like this for Dutta.it is sooo real, that I don't think I am reading an OS, this is like watching the episode.. CV's will have to try their hardest to supass this, esp these lines
"Apnaa sab kuch lootaane aaya hoon. Math jaa Naku!".
Tears rolls down from Naku's eyes. She tells him, "Aap bhi toh nahi roke mujhe"
Dutta moves his head in frustration, "Arre, aisa hee hoon mein, par Mujh se achcha, mujhe tu jaanti hai...Toh tu hi bata -
And this…. Lekin tere naa hone se toh, marne ka bhi man nahi karta, Naku!"
Apne Kali-gori life ke saare din, mere naam kar de Naku!". he pauses for a second, searching her eyes -
"Mein tere ko yeh waada toh nahi karta ki tere har pal khushi se bhar doonga, par yeh waada karta hoon, ki tere har pal mei mein hoongaa...
Mein tere se yeh waada toh nahi karta ki tere aankhon mein kabhie aansoon nahi aane doonga, par yeh waada karta hoon ki tere har aansoon ko pochne ke liye mein hoongaa...
Mein tere se yeh waada toh nahi karta ki mein tere se jhagdoongaa nahi, par yeh waada karta hoon ki jab tu apni nazar uthaayegi to tere ko manaane ke liye mein hoonga..."
This is so trae as he can never promise to not cause her pain or to always keep her happy as that never happens, so what you made Dutta promise is superb!!!
it was beautiful how you portrayed the 2 nakku's merging into one for Dutta.. the best way to do it.. very beautifully done..
And on a personal note, I hope n' pray that you get a partner who will always understand and love you for your sensitive nature J and BTW, SRK will be very proud of the fact that he is your inspiration to writing all this!!
Vaish
