"Aap ko pata bhi hai ki aap kaise behave kar rahe hain?"
"Haan pata hain...jaise ek gunda, mawali, sadak chaap aadmi pesh aata hai...waise hi!"
Nidhi did not know how to respond to that one.
AShutosh started taking off his coat. Nidhi flinched as she sat up on the bed.
"Daro mat...main itna bhi gira nahin hoon...rapist shabd maine include nahi kiya us list mei!"
"Kya chahte hain aap mujhse...?"
"Bohot kuch...aur bohot kuch tumhe dena bhi chahta hoon...but to start with...jo mujhe kehna hai...tum bas open mind se suno!"
She leaned back against the backrest.
He realized that she was willing to listen.
"Sorry...mujhe shayad ek caveman ki tarah behave nahin karna chahiye ta...mujh jaisa ek pada likha, shareef insaan ko toh apni bhavnaon ko humesha control mei rakna chahiye...but is shareef insaan ke andar bhi ek pati ka dil hai jo chukna choor hota hai jab apni patni ko kisi aur ke baahon mei dektha hain!"
"Jaise ek patni ka dil toot tha hain apne pati ke baahon mein kisi aur ko dekh ke!"
"So are we even then?"
"No...we are not...kyunki maine Amar ko jaan bhooj kar encourage nahi kiya...main bas ek doctor ki haisiyat se uska ilaaj kar rahi ti...aur bas thodi si hamdardi dikhayi...!"
"Kya tumhe nahi lagta ki dosti ki naam pe maine bhi wohi kiya...haan yeh sacch hai ki tab tumhara reactions ajeeb laga...immature aur childish...par afsos mujhe der se samaj aaya ki aisi insecurities ka maturity se koi samband hi nahi hai...yeh pyaar ko izraar karne ka ek tareeka bhi hota hai..I am sorry...mujhe yeh sab thoda late samaj aaya...kya karoon...chaalees saal tak anadi jo tehra pyar ke maamle me!"
"Dr Ashutosh...main aap ko sabak sikhane ki koshish nahi kar rahi ti...main sach main bas Amar ki madad karna chahti ti...par kabhi kabhi jisko hum madad samajte hain, usi baat ko koi aur kuch aur bhi samaj sakta hai...yeh baat mujhe bhi ab samaj aarahi hai...!"
"Nidhi...tumhari koi galti nahi hai...tumhara dil bohot saaf hai...tum baakiyon ko bhi apne jaise samajti ho...nahi to tum Mallika ko kabhi aasra nahi deti...par shayad maine tumhare is bolepan ka, tumhare bade dil ka bohot zyada faida uta liya hai...tumhare upar bhoj par bhoj daalta raha!"
"Aap ko pata hai na , Dr Ashutosh...the last straw on the camel's back...jab Dr Mallika is bar hamare zindagi mei phir se waapis aayi toh mujhe kuch aisa hi laga!"
"Nidhi...I understand...maine tumhe pehle kabhi nahi kaha...but mujhe apne aap pe kabhi kabhi gin aati ti ki main tumhare bhavnaon ko itna tez pahunchaara aata...par jab main us bacche ke bare mei sochta hoon toh phir mujhe koi aur raasta nazar nahi aata ta...madad ko aadhi adhoori nahi chod sakte hain na , Nidhi...us din jab Mallika ki maid ka phone aaya ki woh behosh hai aur bleeding horahi hai...toh mera mann jaise blank hogaya...mujhe bas yeh khayal ta ki kisi bhi tara donon ke zindagi bachane hain...main apne aap ko kahi na kahin unke liye morally responsible samajne laga...bas...main unko KGH leke aagaya,,,,main unhe kahin aur kaise le jaata, Nidhi..maine socha ki agar main unhe KGH hi le aata toh tumhe koi galat faimi ya shaq ki gunjaish nahi doonga...tum meri majboori ko samjoge...Mallika ne bohot galat ki hai tumhare saath, Nidhi...but this is not the time to hold grudges against her...uske saath saath ek bacche ki zindagi ka bhi sawal hai...ab hum uski gunahon ko dil mei rakthe toh Mallika ke saath saath us bacche ko bhi sazaa milta na, Nidhi...in sab mei us bacche ka kya kasoor hai...mere mann mei bas yehi ek khayal ta...aur maine wohi kiya jo mere zameer ne mujhe karne ke liye kaha...mujhe pata ta ki main tumhe takleef pohonchaaraha hoon...par mere paas koi aur chaara nahin ta...!"
Nidhi was listening to him intently without saying a word.
"Mujhe us raat tumse aise baat nahi karna chahiye ta...par kya karta...jab tum mere integrity par sawal utane lagi toh mujhse raha nahi gaya...mere usoolon, mere insaniyat yehi mera wajood hai, Nidhi...aur yehi mera zameer...main iske khilaf nahi jaa sakta hoon...chahe iski wajah se mujhe khud ko bhi takleef dena pade...aur kyunki tum mera khud ka ek hissa ho, yeh takleef tumhe bhi utana pad raha hai...par main kya karoon, Nidhi...I don't know how else to be!"
His voice broke and he gulped down the lump in his throat. Just then he saw a glass of water before him. He looked up and realized that Nidhi had moved to his side from the bed. She sat on the floor beside him and lay her head on his knees. He got off the chair and sat next to her on the floor and asked her gently,
"Nidhi, kya main thodi der ke liye tere god mei sar rakh sakta hoon?"
She could not stop the tears that sprang to her eyes and just nodded!
He lay down on her lap and promptly hugged her around her waist and buried his head in her stomach.
"Nidhi...maine kabhi mamta ko mehsoos nahi kiya hai...haan tum mujhse 18 saal choti ho...par kabhi kabhi tumhare andar apni maa ko pehchan ta hoon...jab tum mujhe khilati ho, meri dekhbal karti ho, meri zakhmon ke liye malham ban jati ho,mujhe daant ti ho...shayad meri parvarsih main ek aurat ki haat hoti toh main tumhe aur tere takleefon ko aur behtar samajta...mujhe maaf karoge please...tumhe diye hue har ek talkleef mere dil pe bhi lagi hai, Nidhi...yeh mat samjo ki us dard ko tumne akele mehsoos kiya hai...in kuch maheenon ki doori ne shayad meri zindagi ke kuch saalon ko kaatli...!"
She shushed him.
"Shubh shubh boliye...and I am sorry...galti sirf aapki nahi hai...meri bhi hai...main bhi aap ko sahi tarah se samaj nahi paayi...meri andar bhi bohot saare insecurities hain, Dr AShutosh...ek toh Dr Mallika ne jo bhi hamare saath kiya usse main bhool nahi paayi...main Dr Mallika ko dekthi rahi par unki andar jo nanhi jaan pal rahi hai usko nahi... shayad meri insaniyat mei kuch kami hai...!"
"Aisa kabhi mat sochna, Nidhi...you have a heart the size of the world...nahi toh mujhe mere ego aur insecurities ke saath uske andar kaise kaid kar paati?"
"Nahi Dr Ashutosh.. bacche ko lekar jo decision humne liya ta mujhe lagne laga uske wajah se shayad main aapko khoti jaarahi hoon...mujhe bohot guilt mehsoos hone laga...aur mujhe lagne laga ki aap pure mann se mere career mei mere saath nahi de rahe hain...balki Dr Mallika aur unke bacche ke zariye mujhe punish kar rahe hain kyunki maine aap ka khwash pura nahi kiya...!"
"That is a load of crap, Nidhi...haan maine tumhe bohot daanta hai...par tumhe yeh nahi pata tere peet peeche maine tumhari kitni tareef ki...you are a very good doctor,...and you have it in you to be a great doctor...the best of the best...way better than me...!"
"Sacchi?"
"Of course...main baccha chahta ta aur chahta hoon...but that has nothing to do with Mallika or her child...haan shayad mere andar ke pita ko thoda sukoon mila us bacche ko sahare dene mei...par Mallika ki madad mei tab bhi karta agar tum bacche ke liye raazi hote...mera usse madad karna had nothing to do with our decision to not have a baby now...mera yakeen karo!"
Tears were streaming down her cheeks by then.
"Yeh jo hum abhi kiye isse agar pehle hi karte toh shayad itne dinon ki takleef sehni nahi padti...hum ne ek doosre se baat kyun nahi ki...ek doosre ke fears, insecurities, dreams...in sab ko aur behtar kyun nahi samja...hamare pyar mei kahin khot hai kya?"
"Agar hoti toh hum ab bhi nahi samaj pate, Nidhi...yeh pyaar hi ab hamara wajood hai...yehi humein ab sahi aur galat ka farq dikayega...mujhe galti karne se rokhega!"
"Nahi Dr Ashutosh, insaniyat ke vaaste jo aapne kiya usse please galti mat kahiye...aapk ka pyar hi aapka zameer banke aap ko Dr Mallika ki madad karne par majboor kiya...kyunki aap ke pyaar saaf hai...usme koi khot nahi hain!
""Thank you, Nidhi...aur baat yeh nahi hai ki main isse pehle tum se baat karna nahi chahta ta,...bas main itna chahta ta ki Mallika ke liye kuch intezaam kardoon...taki usse meri madad ki zaroorat na pade...isliye maine usse Delhi mei ek naukri bhi dilvadi aur uski bhahbi bhi aarahi hai uski delkhbaal ke liye...I did not want to talk to you until I had sorted things out completely...main phir se koi problem nahi chahta!"
"Ashutosh got up and hugged her tight. Their lips met in a kiss of healing and peace.
"Toh kya ab humein hospital waapis jana hai!"
"Maine toh chutti leli...tum bhi apne boss ko phone kar ke bol do!"
"Mera boss toh bohot khadoos hain na...woh nahi manega!"
"Arre koi toh tareeka hoga unko manane ka?"
"aise tareeke aazmaana kya galat nahi hoga...matlab unethical and unprofessional...?"
"Ab ek din ke liye ehtics aur professionalism ko bhi chutti dedete hain!"
They both laughed and hugged each other again.
"Wiase aap ko pata hai?"
"Kya?"
"Aap na is Tarzaan ki roop mei aur bhi hot aur sexy lag rahe ho,,,,the caveman tactics were a real turn on...!"
"Tarzan itne kapde kahan pehenta hai, Nidhi?"
"Yeh bhi hai...toh phir...bane hum donon Tarzan and Jane?"
Dr Mathur was shocked to hear the war cry that emerged from behind the closed door of his son's bedroom. After that, there was silence for a very, very long time!
Edited by Sujatha.rao - 13 years ago