Shaavi dear... This is for you

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Lavanya

@KumbhkarnKiNani

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Posted: 7 years ago

#381

Originally posted by: grace4317

Bold - Then again you have got me wrong. My friend had to take that decision as they didn't stay with their parents or joint family and so he had to quit his job when his wife had to go overseas as part of her promotion. So, how can I tell that this is what happens in most families.

My convos was always w.r.to the situation Dev & Sona lives. In that context, they had lots of option. If they wanted to show this track of Dev as house-husband, then atleast they could have shown Ishwari on another Vaishno yatra and the Trixits living separately. And should have shown some scenes to take the audience into confidence that Vicky is capable of handling his business. That would have sounded more logical. Atleast that Vicky part if they had shown, we would not have felt this bad. Instead what was shown is, in the end of S1 Vicky returning the documents of his business too to Dev and in this season when Dev hands him over the responsibilty, Vicky himself is in doubt and later again we see he not properly handling the clients. So when all illogical things are shown together, it is difficult to digest everything. Just because we loved this show once, we can't always say wah wah for everything.

Ok,I finally got your point after a fair bit of confusion.

@Red-That's true.I don't even want everyone to praise the show coz criticism is also needed when the show is going downhill.Infact,I had myself made a post yesterday wherein I said that the education reform track was not executed well.

As they say,half-knowledge is risky and that's what's happened.I get your point now,whatever I wrote earlier was because I misinterpreted what you had said...sorry for that.Sorry to @sp12 also.

Have a good day .

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asha2012

@asha2012

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Posted: 7 years ago

#382

A very happy and prosperous Diwali to all of you! Have a safe Diwali!

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Uttara1112

@Uttara1112

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Posted: 7 years ago

#383

Lakshmi, this is a classic example of the pseudo feminism that the show makers have displayed time and again: Let his smartness,his zeal his love for his profession go in drain..never mind.

Dev identified with his business. It made him what he is and he was passionate about it. But somewhere along the way we were given to understand that this was actually undesirable bcos we were shown how Dev is great at handling biz but useless at handling relationships (which Sona was shown to be a pro at).

So basically the importance of passion, zeal etc for career or interests SHOULD be pushed to the back and relationship handling shld be given importance?? Why?? Just bcos (apparently) woman are good at this? (I am a woman and I'm awful at this, by the way😆). There has definitely been an attempt to glorify womanly traits or strengths and while I have no problem with glorifying, there is no need to diss something else to do this.

To me, Dev's struggle to reach where he is today is far more impressive than Sona's (not trying to diss Sona or womankind here, bcos I also think Ishwari's struggle is impressive) but think abt it, starting from stark poverty a 8 year old starts taking the responsibility of his family and makes his biz one of the top 5 biz in the country. Let me clarify that a bit more, we are comparing a child's struggle with an adult woman's because Dev's struggle started at this age.

And then this same man who has been both brother and father to his younger siblings practically all his life, tells Sona 'I have learned to be strong from you'. Dev's inherent strength has been undermined too and why??? No reason, just to show that Sona is 'better'. Again, pseudo feminism, to try to show one gender as better than the other. Sorry, my idea of feminism is that both genders are equal, that is to say that they both have strengths and weakness that often complement each other rather well.

Dev's entire struggle has now come to naught and that too by his own decision to chuck his bizz. This is something I find utterly impossible- that he wud take this decision at all. Forget the fact that things don't work that way. I mean, without Dev at the helm what will happen to the business' repute in the market? How will existing customers react? How will new orders/ deals/whatever come in, on basis of whose credentials?? How can Vicky, who by self-admission knows nothing so he was working in a hotel, actually even handle a day's work at Ishwari Enterprises? These are all eternal mysteries.

Edited by JALK2000 - 7 years ago

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 7 years ago

#384

Since the begining Dev overlooked Vikky's misdeeds because of Mamaji and the help done to them in childhood. He has his obligation. But when he understood he was separated from his wife because of him he took the final call.

Sonakshi did not take it seriously. She still held soft corner because she is mahaan. I understand.

Yes income tax officials found out the lapses. Dev understood and his tolerance reached the limit when he found out what he did with his married life.

Then instead of supporting Dev Sonakshi started visiting Vikky,against Dev's wish..

Dev is obligated. Sonakshi is not.

I don't consider the income tax thing Dev.s lapse and Sonakshi's smartness in unearthing it out.

Those who are in business can very well deal with such things. Dev did in his own way.

Lakshmi

Edited by ltelidevara - 7 years ago

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asha2012

@asha2012

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Posted: 7 years ago

#385

I know I am in minority but at the risk of finding no favour and the amount of negativity against Sona on this thread, I want to say something. Feminism, in my view is asking for the man and woman to be treated equally and not to treat women as superior. If dev has oversome poverty and lot of challenges in his childhood and set up his business and became successdful it is entirely due to his intelligence and hard work and the credit should go to him. If we acknowledge that we cannot also take away the credit from Sona as well. She also set up a business without dev's help and was successful at that.

Now the story is poised at a point where dev has given up his work and is at home and the general perception is that it is also sona's fault. My problem is that they can easily adjust their office timings and manage their family with both of them working. Don't millions of other couple do it. I, howver, refuse to believe that a dad can't look after his children like a mother can. It was a decision that Dev and Sona took. Dev did not put a gun to sona's head and say that she should work and similarly Sona did not also do the same thing.

I think they will eventually find the middle path and manage their family together. I have said this before it takes a supremely confident man who considers his wife as an equal.

Anyway, this is purely my point of view.

I am sorry if I spoiled the general mood of this thread.

Cheers

Asha

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LiveLife321

@LiveLife321

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

#386

@gt, Such a well written post.

Different people will have different perspectives so please don't take the views personal. I can relate to your life experiences because I also have similar experiences in life. All my childhood went in my grand parents house and till I got married most of my life went in boarding school and hostel. I hardly spent 3yrs with my parents which I don't even remember properly. But some things are still imprinted in my mind like my mom used to leave for work before we wake up then my dad used to take care of us, giving bath, making us ready for the school, feeding us etc and then he used to drop us at school before leaving for his office. I feel people hardly notice or appreciate these efforts that includes wives. My mom never leave any opportunity to mention about all her sacrifices behind her success where as my dad never ever mentioned all the compromises and adjustments he did for us including my mom. When we treat relationships with love that gives happiness in life but when we treat relationships as responsibilities then that adds burden on our shoulders. I hope you understood the difference between Dev and Sona's ways of handling relationships.

In my childhood when ever some one asks me that whom I love more, dad or mom, my immediate answer was my dad. Even today that answer remains same but that doesn't mean that I don't respect my mom. My mom and dad both are self made individuals. I can share anything with my dad but that may not be the case with my mom. Most of us asked especially shaavi that is Sona ready to accept this reality or not? This is just an example.

I still have many complaints with the way makers are presenting sona's character like a pendulum. They really need clarity on whether she is doing a sacrifice by taking this deal or it's a mutual decision? As a viewer, as a wife, as a mother, I just want to ask one question to Sona, Still how many years she needs to trust Dev and become a equal partner in their relationship? Why he needs to beg for her trust and for a chance before her even today? Is love without trust love at all?Will she ever learn to work as a team with Dev without going back to her pendulum mode? Will she ever learn to accept the consequences of her decisions with dignity without running away from failures or without using blame game?

When it comes to Bose's that includes Sona also, all I want to say is - People who lives in glass house should not throw stones at others. Before judging and pointing fingers at others, we first need to look at ourselves.

Apart from this, I completely agree with latest Grace post regarding where and why most of us not able to digest this role reversal.

Edited by LiveLife321 - 7 years ago

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Uttara1112

@Uttara1112

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Posted: 7 years ago

#387

asha: ' If we acknowledge that we cannot also take away the credit from Sona as well. She also set up a business without dev's help and was successful at that.'

I totally agree with you. Sona deserves credit, no doubt there. She was single mom, she was dealing with the aftermath of the break up, she had to move back to Kolkotta and start afresh so she, she has definitely proven her strength and she deserves respect more than even admiration for just not giving up.

I just wish the makers had not thought that to give Sona due credit, it is necessary to make Dev appear like a nincompoop or to make her seem like super-robocop with no emotions. They cud have very well shown Sona's struggle to set up her biz in flashbacks to get the point home without all the 'you only taught me strength' dialogues that totally skew the equation.

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sp12

@sp12

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Posted: 7 years ago

#388

@asha2012 Dev did not put a gun to sona's head and say that she should work and similarly Sona did not also do the same thing.

I agree with you that we cannot undermine anyone's achievement be it Sonakshi or Dev or about feminism.
Coming to the bolded lines above I agree to that as well but unfortunately Sonakshi's words seem to suggest that it is Dev who is forcing her to work. Quite a few times before Ishwari as well as Asha she has mentioned that it is Dev who is asking her to continue her work or for that matter that she has promised Dev to give one month and cannot take that promise back, all these unfortunately create the perception that it is Dev who is forcing Sonakshi to work even if she does not want to and I guess that is the why the disappointment or the perception that it is Sonakshi's fault, for the first time yesterday when she took a stand for Dev is the time I felt that she has finally accepted the role reversal.

Again just my POV, no offence.

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Enlightened21

@Enlightened21

Rocker

Posted: 7 years ago

#389

Originally posted by: asha2012
I know I am in minority but at the risk of finding no favour and the amount of negativity against Sona on this thread, I want to say something. Feminism, in my view is asking for the man and woman to be treated equally and not to treat women as superior. If dev has oversome poverty and lot of challenges in his childhood and set up his business and became successdful it is entirely due to his intelligence and hard work and the credit should go to him. If we acknowledge that we cannot also take away the credit from Sona as well. She also set up a business without dev's help and was successful at that.
Now the story is poised at a point where dev has given up his work and is at home and the general perception is that it is also sona's fault. My problem is that they can easily adjust their office timings and manage their family with both of them working. Don't millions of other couple do it. I, howver, refuse to believe that a dad can't look after his children like a mother can. It was a decision that Dev and Sona took. Dev did not put a gun to sona's head and say that she should work and similarly Sona did not also do the same thing.

I think they will eventually find the middle path and manage their family together. I have said this before it takes a supremely confident man who considers his wife as an equal.

Anyway, this is purely my point of view.

I am sorry if I spoiled the general mood of this thread.

Cheers
Asha

Asha...I disagree with it. Even the extreme Dev lovers here are telling Dev is at fault at this or makers are at fault by showing Dev taking such a decision. Yes, I have said that Dev had to take this decision because he knew Sona will not be happy leaving her business based on his experience during the over-possessive track. But that is how Dev is; always taking decisions based on emotions and especially when it comes to family. But, this time his whole business (in one way their livelihood) is involved. So, we expected him to take a more practical & reasonable decision. The gripe I have against Sona is that, inspite of Dev doing all this, even now she is not shown to support his decision unconditionally. If so, it would not be repeatedly shown Sona telling Ishwari about the one-month deal. Why do you think Dev said kuch math bolna to Sona as soon as she tried to talk to him when the nanny left. Because, he knew instead of assuring him that it is OK, she would try to discourage him. But now, when she sees him slowly succeeding she has started supporting him. This is where the difference between Sona & Dev lies.

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sp12

@sp12

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Posted: 7 years ago

#390

@gt2918 There is no need to say sorry, everyone is free to express there opinions here and I absolutely respect your opinion. In fact I am glad that someone has written about how generally father's role has been underrated in a child's life and credit to you for bringing that up.

I guess @grace4317 & @Livelife321 have already mentioned as to why quite of few of us are disappointed with the role reversal track, it's nothing to do with the concept but the execution of it which is disappointing.

Just my POV, no offence. Please do post more.

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