*Season 2, Week 20* Analysis Thread

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#121

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

I read your post . Understood what you meant. But I feel to make Bijoy confide in Dev's ability to keep Sona happy they both should become a couple first and start their family life. Otherwise how could Dev assure Bijoy of himself? By mere words? No. Bijoy won't believe him even if he promises to love Sona and take care of her. So there is no solution to appease Bijoy. That is why I said Sona's input is needed more than Dev's effort.

Sona should have a heart to heart talk with Bijoy. She should enlighten him of the unparalleled love that only Dev can shower on her. She should highlight Dev's positive aspects with illustrations. Finally Sona has to tell Bijoy that both of them now realised their draw backs and the reasons for the failure of their marriage.

Sona should also tell Bijoy that life is a mixture of happiness and sorrow. It is not fair to expect only happiness from life. She should confidently assure him that Dev will stand by her now in adversities also. Learning makes life worth living. Bijoy should understand the fact. Only Sona can make him convinced of her inability to walk ahead without Dev's presence in her life not as Soha's father but as her soul mate and life partner.

Lakshmi

@Lakshmi, amazing post on Dev. It was a pleasure to read. As to the above post, I totally agree. Even more so the bolded part. Sonakshi is the only one who can remove the misconceptions of Bijoy. Bijoy feels that Dev has only hurt his daughter. Only Sonakshi can tell Bijoy that Dev was not the cause of all her pain. Some of them were self inflicted when she became the bull in the china shop. She needs to tell Bijoy the truth about herself and her doings.

Ex -- Sonakshi agreeing to vrat. She never told Bijoy that no one forced her to do the vrat. Forget forcing, Ishwari asked her not to do it. But it was her own choice to do it. But according to Bijoy it was Ishwari and Dev forcing her to do something that she did not want to do and they were starving her. Sonakshi never told the truth and absolved Dev or Ishwari from this. She just left Dev to answer why he is not doing vrat, if she is doing vrat, why he is starving her. Here it should have been Sonakshi who should have answered Bijoy and accepted the truth of her doings.

Going forward too unless Sonakshi starts standing up for Dev(in a sense that she needs to tell the truth to Bijoy and not look for the "perfect answer"), Bijoy will not change. The only way out for Sonakshi as I see it is owning the decisions in turn the consequences.

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#122

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

I think it has to do with the way these different people allow Bijoy to see himself. Until recently, Asha and Dadi, mainly by ommission, allowed Bijoy to continue thinking that he was the idea son and husband. They never addressed his flaws, except through humour, which he could easily brush aside as fun family banter. In seriousness, Asha and Dadi only expressed pride and love for him. Sona took this one step further by really putting him on a pedestal. When he sees the in-charge Sona, he sees the greatest success of his life and when he sees her in pain, he takes it very personally as an insult to his life and choices.

Saurabh, on the other hand, has challenged him from day one and forced him to confront what he sees as his "failures." That is why, as much as possible, Bijoy always tries to distance himself from Saurabh, because the reflection in that mirror is not pleasant. It's actually very similar to what Ishwari did with Neha; she avoided seeing those parts of herself that she didn't like. With Dev, it was a bit more complicated in that Bijoy didn't like how the effect of Dev was changing what he saw in the Sona mirror. When he looks at Sona, he wants to see his own strength, pride, and principle. Dev and Ishwari brought in shades of doubt, and compliance which messed with Bijoy's most reliable, flattering reflection of himself so he wanted to remove those "contaminants."

That time in the hospital was the first when Bijoy realised that nobody's actually perfect, and the view in the Asha, and Sona mirrors may in fact be the ones that were distorted.

@bold. It reminds me of the magic mirror which spoke only the truth in "Snow White and 7 dwarves". In that too, the evil queen asked the mirror each day the same question "who is the fairest one of all". As long as it answered that she was, all was well. But the moment the mirror said Snow White was fairest of all, the evil queen could not take it. I feel it is the same with Bijoy. He had cultivated this feeling that Sonakshi was perfect in her. And saw that as his pride and achievement. But due to Dev and Ishwari, Sonakshi felt that she was not perfect and that she lacked certain skills/things in life. Hence they became the enemy, someone whom he felt needed to be eliminated.

I liked fairy tales, but never thought them so ingrained in our lives. They always seemed like something that one reads for pleasure, to escape from reality in a sense. But seeing KRPKAB where these fairy tales are so included in lives, makes me dazed. I want to go back and read fairy tales with new eyes so to speak.

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#123

@ Shaavi

Thanks. It is a delight to come across people like you who genuinely understand Dev and his non stop trials. He is facing the heat from all sides .Whenever I read Dev has to win Bijoy I feel vexed. It is Sona who has to lead the way and stand up for Dev before her father. Bijoy won't listen to Asha even nowadays. Sonakshi is the only one who should take up the task.

I said Sona should illustrate here you came up with situations that Sonakshi really need to refer before her father and explain Dev's innocence. You are just perfect Shaavi.

I hope Sonakshi will stand firm and let Bijoy realise Dev's reality.

Lakshmi

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Suchi_Ejf_fan

@Suchi_Ejf_fan

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#124

Agree sona's realization is must

But why dev is agreeing for second marriage ?
is it his plan ?

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#125

Originally posted by: flowers321
Agree sona's realization is must

But why dev is agreeing for second marriage ?
is it his plan ?

This is similar to the track from the movie "yaadein" starring Hrithik and Kareena. In that also Kareena convinces Hrithik that he should say yes to the girl chosen for him by his family. And she is his best friend. The love they had was just a phase and not reality. So he plays along, accepts the new girl and says that she wants to be my "best friend', i will show her how "best friends" actually are and I will be her "best friend". He is using his own experience from when he thought Neil was her boyfriend to when she had said "yes" to marrying Ritwick. He is just letting her get a taste of her own medicine. That's all. 😉 😛 .

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gaya1234

@gaya1234

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#126

Originally posted by: Shaavi

This is similar to the track from the movie "yaadein" starring Hrithik and Kareena. In that also Kareena convinces Hrithik that he should say yes to the girl chosen for him by his family. And she is his best friend. The love they had was just a phase and not reality. So he plays along, accepts the new girl and says that she wants to be my "best friend', i will show her how "best friends" actually are and I will be her "best friend". He is using his own experience from when he thought Neil was her boyfriend to when she had said "yes" to marrying Ritwick. He is just letting her get a taste of her own medicine. That's all.😉😛.

😉 May be he will sit with her and eat ice cream and junk food this time.. that's what 'best friends' do right?!? So cute yet so confusing..

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#127

Originally posted by: ltelidevara
@ Shaavi
Thanks. It is a delight to come across people like you who genuinely understand Dev and his non stop trials. He is facing the heat from all sides .Whenever I read Dev has to win Bijoy I feel vexed. It is Sona who has to lead the way and stand up for Dev before her father. Bijoy won't listen to Asha even nowadays. Sonakshi is the only one who should take up the task.

I said Sona should illustrate here you came up with situations that Sonakshi really need to refer before her father and explain Dev's innocence. You are just perfect Shaavi.

@Bold: I think you may be misunderstanding what people (including me) mean here. It's not that Dev has to prove himself to Bijoy, but more like Dev has the ability to deal with Bijoy in a way that none of his family members can. It's the mirror image of Sona being able to deal with the Khatri situation on behalf of Dev and Ishwari. She cared deeply about them, but was emotionally detached from the situation. Therefore, she was able to think objectively and solve the problem in a methodical way.

Similarly, Sona is emotionally tangled in the situation with Bijoy to the point where she can't see her relationship with Dev and her Baba's vision of her ever co-existing. Dev, on the other hand, has the ability to see Bijoy's POV and question him in such a way that he doesn't get defensive, but actually introspects. Sona can shout from the rooftops that Dev makes her happy, but Bijoy will continue to see it as her weakness, as Dev and Ishwari controlling her, until he questions his own dogmatic beliefs. As we have seen aggression and direct identification of his flaws (from Saurabh and Asha) only makes Bijoy more unwilling to budge. The only thing that had begun to work was Dev's genuine questions and his willingness to listen and empathise with Bijoy's side of the story.

That said, Sona needs to come clean and ask for help in order for Dev to take initiative, but it's complicated even for Sona to understand. As evidenced by her talk with Asha yesterday, it's not the literal promise she made to Bijoy that is holding her back, it is the thoughts that are ingrained in her system from trying to be his ideal daughter. She is exhausted from the effort of measuring up to Bijoy's standards, but not tired enough to be dependent on Dev.

So from my perspective, it's not as simple as Sona defying Bijoy or telling him the truth. In fact, the whole problem is that she has only two modes with Bijoy, either complete defiance or complete deference (why I call her a pendulum). She can't see being with Dev as anything but defiance of Bijoy and she can't see deference to Bijoy as anything but indifference/antagonism towards Dev. She is stuck, and that is where Dev can be helpful as a third party who sees that with some effort, she can have both. He already started the process when, instead of avoiding Bijoy, he came in for tea that day and made it a point to show his face. Like father like daughter, Bijoy needs to be worn down gradually.

Like many of you have said, this leaves Sona at the exact place Dev was after the first break-up. She is the one who has said a categorical "no" so she has no right to stop him from marrying someone else, but it won't go down easy. Moreover, as we saw yesterday, she kind of expects her "friendship" with Dev to remain the same even after he finds someone else, but that's not how it played out. The moment she joined forces with Ishwari, Dev refused to speak to her and asked to be alone, which left Sona pretty upset. Basically, Dev is not playing best friend-best friend anymore -- he's like, you still want to insist we are just friends? Fine, I'll show you what a good friend I can be! 😆

@Shaavi: Aah! I was just thinking about Yaadein after yesterday's motorbike scene. It reminded me so much of that scene where Hrithik is exposing his biceps to the elements in the UK winter and Kareena comes and puts a jacket on him. Luckily, Dev is not quite so melodramatic, so I can take him more seriously than I did Hrithik in that movie. 🤣

Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago

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Shaavi

@Shaavi

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#128

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@Bold: I think you may be misunderstanding what people (including me) mean here. It's not that Dev has to prove himself to Bijoy, but more like Dev has the ability to deal with Bijoy in a way that none of his family members can. It's the mirror image of Sona being able to deal with the Khatri situation on behalf of Dev and Ishwari. She cared deeply about them, but was emotionally detached from the situation. Therefore, she was able to think objectively and solve the problem in a methodical way.

Similarly, Sona is emotionally tangled in the situation with Bijoy to the point where she can't see her relationship with Dev and her Baba's vision of her ever co-existing. Dev, on the other hand, has the ability to see Bijoy's POV and question him in such a way that he doesn't get defensive, but actually introspects. Sona can shout from the rooftops that Dev makes her happy, but Bijoy will continue to see it as her weakness, as Dev and Ishwari controlling her, until he questions his own dogmatic beliefs. As we have seen aggression and direct identification of his flaws (from Saurabh and Asha) only makes Bijoy more unwilling to budge. The only thing that had begun to work was Dev's genuine questions and his willingness to listen and empathise with Bijoy's side of the story.

That said, Sona needs to come clean and ask for help in order for Dev to take initiative, but it's complicated even for Sona to understand. As evidenced by her talk with Asha yesterday, it's not the literal promise she made to Bijoy that is holding her back, it is the thoughts that are ingrained in her system from trying to be his ideal daughter. She is exhausted from the effort of measuring up to Bijoy's standards, but not tired enough to be dependent on Dev.

So from my perspective, it's not as simple as Sona defying Bijoy or telling him the truth. In fact, the whole problem is that she has only two modes with Bijoy, either complete defiance or complete deference (why I call her a pendulum). She can't see being with Dev as anything but defiance of Bijoy and she can't see deference to Bijoy as anything but indifference/antagonism towards Dev. She is stuck, and that is where Dev can be helpful as a third party who sees that with some effort, she can have both. He already started the process when, instead of avoiding Bijoy, he came in for tea that day and made it a point to show his face. Like father like daughter, Bijoy needs to be worn down gradually.

Like many of you have said, this leaves Sona at the exact place Dev was after the first break-up. She is the one who has said a categorical "no" so she has no right to stop him from marrying someone else, but it won't go down easy. Moreover, as we saw yesterday, she kind of expects her "friendship" with Dev to remain the same even after he finds someone else, but that's not how it played out. The moment she joined forces with Ishwari, Dev refused to speak to her and asked to be alone, which left Sona pretty upset. Basically, Dev is not playing best friend-best friend anymore -- he's like, you still want to insist we are just friends? Fine, I'll show you what a good friend I can be! 😆

@Shaavi: Aah! I was just thinking about Yaadein after yesterday's motorbike scene. It reminded me so much of that scene where Hrithik is exposing his biceps to the elements in the UK winter and Kareena comes and puts a jacket on him. Luckily, Dev is not quite so melodramatic, so I can take him more seriously than I did Hrithik in that movie. 🤣

Sam, I understand what you are saying, but I still feel Sona has a bigger role to play here in wearing Bijoy down. What I mean is even when Dev asked the right questions, Bijoy was still unconvinced. He is trying to compare himself with Dev and always rejects Dev as not comparable to him. Neither Ishwari nor Dev will ever be the ideal MIL or husband for Sona from Bijoy's perspective. But they are "perfect" for Sonakshi and only she can tell Bijoy that. Dev cannot come and say these are your daughter's weaknesses and I compliment them, so I am her ideal partner. From Bijoy's perspective Sona is perfect and doesn't need anyone to complete her. But as viewers we know that, that is not true. She needs Dev to complete her in so many ways. I am not saying a single person is not complete by themselves or a girl has to be married to be happy. I am referring here particularly to Sonakshi and her temperament. She has narrativised her story in such a way that she has confused everyone as to what she wants. She turns to each of the people around them, changes herself as she thinks what they are looking from her and acts that way. She needs to stop doing that and be herself, not keep projecting as someone else. She needs to own her feelings and say "yes, I love Dev. He is every bit worthy of me just as I am worthy of him. Neither of us are doing a favor to each other by loving each other. Neither one is superior to other". This is something that only Sona can tell Bijoy and Dev can do nothing about it.

Even going forward, it has to be Sona answering Bijoy's questions regarding her doings and tell him that it is her decision to do those things and neither Dev nor Ishwari are controlling her. She has to stop feeling that loving Dev was a mistake as Bijoy has told her and accept that she did not do anything wrong. That she does know how to judge people and she has judged Dev correctly which is different than how Bijoy has judged him. She has to do what Dev did with Ishwari, show Dev's goodness and what he has done for her and her family. That Dev is not out to insult Bose family in any way. For all this to happen Sonakshi should accept her flaws and faults and admit her role in the separation to Bijoy cause as of now Bijoy thinks that everything is Dev and Ishwari's doing.

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Suchi_Ejf_fan

@Suchi_Ejf_fan

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#129

Originally posted by: Shaavi

This is similar to the track from the movie "yaadein" starring Hrithik and Kareena. In that also Kareena convinces Hrithik that he should say yes to the girl chosen for him by his family. And she is his best friend. The love they had was just a phase and not reality. So he plays along, accepts the new girl and says that she wants to be my "best friend', i will show her how "best friends" actually are and I will be her "best friend". He is using his own experience from when he thought Neil was her boyfriend to when she had said "yes" to marrying Ritwick. He is just letting her get a taste of her own medicine. That's all.😉😛.

😆

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#130

@Shaavi: I am not at all denying that Sona has an important role to play in wearing Bijoy down. I just see the process as being a little more layered than just "Sona stands up to Bijoy and tells him the truth." I think first she has to convey her true feelings to Dev. Yes, I love you and want to be with you, but I feel like our past weighs too heavy on our present and it won't work out. Once Dev knows for sure that Sona loves him, and wants to be with him, a lot of avenues open up to show her that it is, in fact possible, something that she can't see right now.

If Dev is then able to spend time with Bijoy, even if forcibly, he will be able to work his Dev Dixit magic and get Bijoy to lighten up a bit and think about himself. In the hospital, that worked wonders. A Sona who said all kinds of nasty things to Dev when Bijoy was uncosncious was able to apologise and communicate freely once Bijoy exonerated Dev. So I feel like that basic rapport has to be established between Bijoy and Dev for Sona to then assert why she needs him and really be heard by her father. Like Dev had with the Khatri thing, I think Sona needs the raw material to be able to establish that bond between Dev and Baba.