Originally posted by: Samanalyse
The idea that Dev doesn't have anything of substance to contribute to relationships is being built up a lot; Sona's words, that everyone falls for his charm and then regrets it, just as she is regretting it now, replayed in his head as he leaned against the headboard. This is exactly what Vicky told Bijoy as well, and the expression on Vicky's face when he watched Dev cuddle with Golu spoke volumes about how much he resented Dev's facility with people. Heart of hearts, I think Sona too is a little bit resentful of how easy it has been for Dev to assimilate into her family (I wish she would give herself more credit for how different the Dixits and the Boses are, but that is a different story), and conversely, how lightly he seems to be taking it, allowing Bijoy to fall sick on his watch. That is where the line about behaving so irresponsibly even after becoming a papa came from.
Dev's appraoch to relationships is very distinct, which is why he is able to sneak his way into people's hearts so quickly. He makes people feel special by sharing himself with them in a very intense way. That is how Sona fell in love with him, and now Soha as well. However, the flip side, as Sona pointed out (though in a bitter way), is that he sets the bar very high at the outset and fails to match those expectations. When you are the object of Dev's affections, at that moment there is no greater, more exhilirating feeling, but it can be equally frustrating when you have to wait through periods of him lavishing that singleminded focus on someone else. Sona didn't even mind this; she loved watching Dev be Dev, no matter who it was with. The one thing she never wanted was have to demand that focus from Dev when she needed it, something that Ishwari's incessant demands necessitated. This, I feel is what Dev never understood, exactly why Sonakshi grew so disappointed with him. What Sonakshi never understood is that Dev doesn't fail to give you his focus because he cares about the other person more, but rather when he feels you need him less.
And that is why his slipping away to IN for a few hours yesterday had such a profound effect. Sonakshi implied clearly that he was disposable to her and to Soha, so he went to the person who he knew did need him at that moment: Golu. And the phone symbolism continues from the time Sona couldn't reach him when Bijoy was taking Soha to Kolkata. At that time, he trusted Sona's words implicitly -- that she had taken care of the problem -- and slept peacefully, certain in the knowledge that he was not needed. I saw that as an echo of the split and Sona coming back to IN with baby Soha. Dev was unreachable because he was so sure he wasn't needed. And I think it was no different in yesterday's episode. He did not fathom that Sona and Soha, who were so self-sufficient and who had Jatin to boot, would miss him in the short span of a few hours. Just as he was needed then, he was needed now, and Dev needs to stop taking Sona's words so literally at face value.
In all of this, the pleasant surprise was the inception of Sona's introspection. For the first time, I feel, she got an inkling of how much her words affect Dev; they don't just bounce of his back as she has always sort of assumed. It was really significant that she remembered telling him to screw the deal and get out of her house; she has spent all of these days trying her hardest to get under Dev's skin and now that she sees Soha's love for him, is horrified of her own potential success. Sona often weaponises her words in defense, and the way I saw it, she is beginning to see how powerful they really are. I swear, only these two could make such a huge realisation out of the fact that telling someone to "get out" might actually result in them leaving.
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
