Marriage and Motherhood- Rights and Responsibility - Page 2

Originally posted by: ..BhUvaNa

Thanks for sharing your experience, glad you are in a happy place .kudos to your strength!!

Coming to Dev , i feel this only one side of the coin..I agree with your to an extent on how and where Dev failed as a husband, specially that infertility track..but do you think Sona was perfect in her roles and responsibilities as wife, DIL and mother of Soha?

Leaving inlaws house for weeks ( I understand if she didn't come for 2-3 days) , stopping communicating with them including husband , cuting his calls continuously and returned only to return the cheque..isn't this the root cause for "Get out"?( one shouldnt forget just before this Bijoy said the Same " get out to Dev by throwing him and his patience levels ,sanity in the neighborhood of bose family )

Originally posted by: melliflous

Thanks for sharing your story! I can relate to it completely as it's similar to mine. In fact that's the very reason I couldn't watch the show few days into Dev and sonakshi's marriage. It just reminded me of my bad days. It took 8 years for me and my husband to accept and understand each other. In 8 years I was on the verge of separation 7 times out of which 3 times in front on my in laws. My husband is extremely attached to his mother and in their presence I always felt like an outsider. His mother always made it a point to show me that I will never be his priority. We spent so many years defending our parents ... fighting for our families. Anyways, my story would be too long to talk about here. Not easy to talk again about all the sensitive issues and all the bitter experiences. But what I want to really share is time is the best remedy. People change , circumstances changes . We cannot judge for everyone as everyone's situation, personality and struggles are different. Today ,after 10 years, I can proudly say that I ve found my best friend in my husband who understands me, respects me and loves me. It was a long journey to get where we are but we did get here. We know each other's parents shortcomings as well as our own parents shortcomings. Our pact is that it will never get in a way of our relation. In fact even our 2 (3 yrs and 7yrs) sons can't get in between our relation. As you mentioned communication is a key to healthy relationship. We cannot please everyone at all the times. But striking a balance is important.
Coming to krpk... it's very realistic in its approach. Or should I say was very realistic! I felt, Dev and sonas separation was too forced. It didn't look like them at all. Dev would always follow sonakshi after a fight and sonakshi was never impulsive in her decisions , she believed in talking , sorting out things. They did not have any chance to speak to each other calmly , or even in sober state(Dev was drunk). Their separation was Fault from both sides. So the separation was for drama sake and so is the post leap. I look at the post leap as a story now which was left incomplete... the story of their incomplete love.

@Malikakas.

Originally posted by: bluejalpari17

Thanks Bhuvana.

See its typical for us to find faults in the other. My in laws also tried to find many many faults with me when issues occured in the family. And I do really have some of those flaws. Many I don't and are made up by their ego. Who can judge who is best DIL? Are we such experts we know ow a ideal wife, woman, DIL should be in all circumstances? Those who have faced issues between husband family and father mother , and had to choose whom to stand up for...and are critisized no matter whom they choose will know the truth. Family honour is a huge deal after marriage and you are stuck in the middle of your father 's family honour and your husband's. These issues re not at all easy to resolve and take lot of effort.

And none of the things you mentioned justify the get out from husband to wife. No, I am not saying Boses are right. But son in law does not live with you...DIL lives there in the same house. The get outs are not the same.

Again..these get outs should not be from husband to wife under his roof. Very simple.

beautiful and heart warmimg. I have similar experience and not once husband asked me to get out. I took all abuses from inlaws, stood my ground when needed.. but the day they created major drama of.. me or them.. My hisband put his foot down! If sonakshi ever had Dev do that once, even after he said.. get out. she wiuld have never left! swallowing all pride she showed up again to talk to Dev.. foumd him drunk, prenup in front of her. From experience, she knew Dev can do anything when enraged.. his bitter words hurt. still, she showed up at the same door with soha.. same fate.. you are noone.. leave and never come back!

despite all that.. sonakshi knows a mother's responsibility.. give all happiness and fair shot at everythjng to her child. hence she never hid Dev from soha!

@Bhuvana:

Originally posted by: vibg

beautiful and heart warmimg. I have similar experience and not once husband asked me to get out. I took all abuses from inlaws, stood my ground when needed.. but the day they created major drama of.. me or them.. My hisband put his foot down! If sonakshi ever had Dev do that once, even after he said.. get out. she wiuld have never left! swallowing all pride she showed up again to talk to Dev.. foumd him drunk, prenup in front of her. From experience, she knew Dev can do anything when enraged.. his bitter words hurt. still, she showed up at the same door with soha.. same fate.. you are noone.. leave and never come back!

despite all that.. sonakshi knows a mother's responsibility.. give all happiness and fair shot at everythjng to her child. hence she never hid Dev from soha!

@Malikakas,

Originally posted by: bluejalpari17

@Bhuvana:

Thanks for the response.

I am glad we are typical that way to find faults with others as long as they are our loved ones and we find faults in each other to get mutual help that can make us better humans.

I am not asking any expert opinion or want to judge, just asked your take on where sona failed ? Feel free if don't want to..

Being myself a married woman I understand the depth of Get out from a husband. But we have agree to disagree here , as much as I am against husband saying get out I am equally against wife leaving the house and not bothering to communicate and hoping everything will be fine.

My comments:

Thanks for your perspective. Bhuvana thats a big question. Where did Sona fail and how she got here. In my opinion the first failure is expecting a normal marriage with a family like Dixits. I was also the same typical girl like Sona who thought that if there is love and the guy is good hearted, all will be well. Its not so.

A man's family and circumstances matter a lot , a lot, even if they are physically apart or even in another country. And knowing what she saw in the family, and knowing he brokeup with her because of his mother , she still trusted that all will be fine after marriage. We all keep thinking that. That the guy will change, I will change some and we will be good.

The reality is change is not so easy. Dev kept leaning on his mother even after marraige.

The family we get married into has a huge bearing in our life..so that was one big thing she took easy. If I could have advised her, I would tell her not to marry into such a family. :) . Her second big issue was her infertility kind of family and not having kids is not going to work out. Though Dev did not say it with his mouth, it was a factor in separation .

Third, I feel her family should have left her alone for a bit with the Dixits an should have avoided financial transactions.

Thats my two cents.

yes , even after seeing closely dixits for good 5-6 months , and the guy she is love with himself clears he is a difficult man to deal with and it 's not going to be easy, still hoping everything will be normal is beyond me. here she agreed for more than a usual commitment..

@bold, that's another thing that baffles me , how on earth a girl can forget that her boyfriend's mother swallowed hand full of sleeping pills and almost committed a suicide for which her boyfriend broke with her abruptly, but sona never pondered or worked in that way instead gave her commitment and started mission change which takes lot of time like you said and dev gets hardly 5 months...

I agree with you on infertility and finance issues.. anyways both the parties overlooked and never worked on few key factors that are needed for a successful relationship than just love...

I saw epi288 once more to understand what transpired that day...dev said get out n maami, neha and vikky reiterated the get out ...still sona didnt leave she checked again with Dev but he repeated just go from here...i think in that situation Sona leaving from there is justified totally...