Lessons Re-Loaded!!! - Page 15

Originally posted by: VIMAL.M

When they can say Dev slapped Bijoy.Because Bijoy was shouting.They can say.Dev raised hand.Just to make Sona get angry on him.

In Twitter there is a thing called Team Dev.They defend Dev so much.Even Mamta supports them.It just reflects the society mind set.Men r right under any circumstances.Women r wrong.Sona has lack of trust on Dev.As if Dev trusted Sona so much.

Originally posted by: tia.o

To answer your question first, in Canada a valid ground for divorce would be, in similar circumstances, if a wife held a knife on the husband's neck to force him to leave his family. Because then she used violence against him in the form of threat.

How else can you force someone to do something they don't want to do? Apply physical force which in most cases don't work on adult men by adult women.

You can refuse to live with your husband's family and ask your husband to move out with you. That is not a force. That is a demand.

Now if the man refuses to move out, he can get divorced provided they split their entire marital property in half and hand over her half of everything.

That's how it will work in Canada. If my husband tells me to get out for whatever reason, I can leave and go to the nearest hotel (I won't be at the street begging), call a lawyer who will fight my case pro-bono which means free of cost to me. Everything since our marriage we acquired plus the marital house will be assessed and split in the middle and I will have my share to live my life even if I am a housewife and my husband is the sole earner.

Why? Because in Canada husband and wife are considered an unit by law. If a husband earns money, the wife turns that money into food, raising children and other household tasks and the same applies to stay at home husbands. So it's not just the husband's money or the wife's money, it's the family's money.

Coming back to your point. In a marriage if one party backs out because the terms they agreed on is no longer favourable, then as long as the marital property, money, providend fund etc. everything is divided in half and given to the party leaving that's fine. She can move on and so can he. Was there a provision made for that?

I can counter-argue that a husband promises to provide a safe, respectful and secured environment for his wife which due to his family, he failed to provide. So the terms were broken from his side first.

Of course you can't arrest in-laws without an arrest warrant and for that you need sufficient proof. It's not as easy as they show on TV. And if there's proof, they will be arrested and then they can get a bail within hours. Now if the proof is fake, then during investigation it will be revealed who trapped whom and proper party will be punished. So there is nothing to worry if you trust the law, police and judiciary system of your country. But if you have no trust in them, you should be worried. Since you trust them, I don't see the cause for concern there.

What I am saying here is the hardcore truth. That's not bad mouthing a country. Calling a lier, a lier is speaking the truth. Calling a truthful person a lier is bad mouthing. If speaking the truth tarnishes National pride then the nation needs massive fix. Because the truth itself is tarnishing its image.

You are right. Running away is not an option. The country needs to change, change it. It's upto you and other Indian living in India. By all means defend the country verbally, but take action to change the country's mentality starting with stricter law to protect women and leaders in power condemning violence against women and not endorsing it.

However, I thought after Nirbhaya incident it will happen. But everything died down. Did anyone ask her parents that if they would feel safe in their country or if they have an option to raise another girl elsewhere would they stay put in India? People who got victimized or who suffered the horror are never asked that question.

Do you know who is Suzette Jordan? No? She was a single mother of two children. She was a good mother who was raising her kids. But she is not famous for that. She is famous as Park Street Rape Victim. That became her identity. Because of that she continued to be raped by media, the society even after her rape incident was over.

Even chief minister of a progressive state of West-Bengal called her a lier and said she is tarnishing the National image for speaking the truth even though everyone of the accused were found guilty.

After the rapists were punished, she tried to live a normal life. She went to a restaurant and denied entry. Why? She was a rape victim.

So ask her daughters if they are given a chance to go live in another country would they still live in India?

I understand that you love India and for you it is the best place to live. I am not asking you to change your opinion. In fact I am happy for you.

But people who are safe and never faced any major trauma like you and me, are in no position to judge others and that includes my friend.

Originally posted by: Tinkerfairy

LOL no hopes from them .mamta just doing her marketing 🤢 so that male lead should not look too bad you know for showing such "mahanta" by almost raising hand on her .how come this guys are okay with it tho.Why there is so much blindness for men wrongdoing.if sona didn't trust him that because of dev's past lies and his actions.but who cares their male lead is poor tortured soul on which his mother and wife done so much attaychar. 🤢

Originally posted by: .Avengers.

India maybe best country but like every other third world country it treats its females like second class citizen. That's why we trend #Notallmen #Yesallwoman here. One of main problem is obviously judiciary system. We have many rules, hell we have most number of laws on earth😆 we have equal no. of ways to bypass them. Women related crimes are very hard. Once you get over the feeling that you could have avoided the situation, that if you called him brother uncle, dressed more suitably, that you didn't invite him to abuse you- after you get over fear that society will blame you, ostracize you for your mistake, then you make it to police station for fir. Then strings of questions where police and people look at you as if you see the criminal here. Then it makes it to court and there's no guarantee you will see the end of it in this lifetime. This is just a regular sexual abuse/teasing/stalking case. Martial rape has another sets of prejudices to deal with- husband's rights on his wife cause he won her, right? Parents sold her along with dowry right? Maybe some vedic books give rights to husband to do whatever he wants. This is where we lack.

Internet is funny place, we can share our stories without fear that someone will recognise us. I have recently started dealing with this so wanted to get off his chest- my guitar teacher touched me inappropriately when I was in class 6. I didn't understand his touch, maybe liked it cause it was different? I never told anyone, it went on for months. Then one day I just blurted it out to mom, cause it will be Sunday in next 2 days and I didn't want to go. I remember giving excuses past weeks to avoid going. Maybe deep down I knew it would escalate to more dark place and I didn't want it. Mom was outataged, she couldn't believe it. He was like a father figure cause my own dad stayed far away in Bangalore. Me and mom stay in WB. He often used to come, SAT with us. He would bring snacks, tease me about school and studies. Mom called him Dada as in big brother. His wife was my aunty like, he had a daughter who was very small, like 6/7, his son used to play piano. When I told mom she told dad. What else we could've done? He called him and threatened him, maybe verbally abused him idk. Here's the funny part, his wife came the next day to our house. Made quite ruckus, crying and yelling. Throwing herself on our sofa, following mom to kitchen, sitting against wall on floor. One thing she kept saying again and again, that I may have misunderstood his touch. I was right there, she came to me and said those words repeatedly as if to hear it themselves from my mouth. I could understand she as a wife may not accept it, it was a shock. I was that naive back then. Now, I am not. Why he get to be so normal when I have suppressed it for years and just now dealing with it? Why he get that perfect family but sometimes I look at mom and feel like maybe she's thinking I am too damaged due to my past? Why his wife didn't believe a kid? I was a kid, I wasn't lying. What could I get by lying? Why would I give false accusations? He was like a father figure, I didn't want to ruin it.

The point I wanted to make before this above mess is we as a people need to sympathize with victims. Not side with sexual abuser just cause he's a well respected man or that he never did anythingf prior this. Maybe he did, we just don't know. Why suppress the lone survivor who's actually speaking out? And it comes with the second class treatment of female, that females are like tissues to use and throw, that they are easy. That everything is theirs fault. It's not. About bloody time we get over it. We fight against British and won, when we will win over our internal issues?

I have heard how unsafe Delhi is but honestly, no place is better. Delhi gets highlighted more cause it's NCR and it should be more safe than other places. Same with Bangalore Chennai. People talk about how it used to be safer before, now Western influence is making boys went berserk and molest others. Once again, blame upbringing not everything else.

Originally posted by: IFfreak

I am so angry and so pissed at silly regressive articles from Twitter and all coming and sitting and they are being called unbiased because they are pro Dev.

Is it that difficult to see that dev and family were in fact being abusive in the modern 21 st century style to Sona

.. barring being beaten black and blue she suffered it all.

Regressive MIL who continuously heaped abuse in a subtlem manner.

Taunting relatives

No support from husband

No way to vent.. a couple of times she tried complaining against MIL and other taunts..Dev was extremely rude and snubbed her.

Husband did not help her in fitting in with his dysfunctional family all.

Husband never honoured his commitment s...

List goes on...

And still Sonakshi should have understood that Dev considers her and him a team... Are you kidding me...? He makes team as per convenience... He knew he was at fault and hence wanted to team up... But he would conveniently forget her if she is with him and kick her out when she crosses a single line.

I would say shame on such regressive views

Rant not over.. more than on screen characters, It is the mentality of society that worries me...

Originally posted by: IFfreak

I am so angry and so pissed at silly regressive articles from Twitter and all coming and sitting and they are being called unbiased because they are pro Dev.

Is it that difficult to see that dev and family were in fact being abusive in the modern 21 st century style to Sona

.. barring being beaten black and blue she suffered it all.

Regressive MIL who continuously heaped abuse in a subtlem manner.

Taunting relatives

No support from husband

No way to vent.. a couple of times she tried complaining against MIL and other taunts..Dev was extremely rude and snubbed her.

Husband did not help her in fitting in with his dysfunctional family all.

Husband never honoured his commitment s...

List goes on...

And still Sonakshi should have understood that Dev considers her and him a team... Are you kidding me...? He makes team as per convenience... He knew he was at fault and hence wanted to team up... But he would conveniently forget her if she is with him and kick her out when she crosses a single line.

I would say shame on such regressive views.

Rant not over.. more than on screen characters, It is the mentality of society that worries me...

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

Tia in the case of a divorce a husband has to give half of his property if a particular number of years have passed in India also. In fact the laws in India are totally in favour of women and totally against men. Please check with some legal expert. In fact it is literally a sin in India to be a man and ask for divorce. That case also went till supreme Court for the same reason. Because the laws are so biased in India that divorce will not happen unless the wife wants it. I have taken a divorce and I have also seen several divorce cases. Also what I said about the arrest without warrant is perfectly correct. It is section 496A of dowry act.

Nowadays even in villages men are scared of hitting their wives because she would literally screw them. My own driver who used to stay in a village - his entire family was ill treated by their SIL and the couldn't dare say anything lest she makes a police complaint. This in a village in one of the most backward States of the country.

That is why I am saying opinions can't be formed basis a few newspaper reports.

Regarding leaving the country after deeming it unsafe - to each his own. I really don't want to discuss any further on this as it is something I can neither appreciate nor empathise with.