Originally posted by: .Avengers.
India maybe best country but like every other third world country it treats its females like second class citizen. That's why we trend #Notallmen #Yesallwoman here. One of main problem is obviously judiciary system. We have many rules, hell we have most number of laws on earth😆 we have equal no. of ways to bypass them. Women related crimes are very hard. Once you get over the feeling that you could have avoided the situation, that if you called him brother uncle, dressed more suitably, that you didn't invite him to abuse you- after you get over fear that society will blame you, ostracize you for your mistake, then you make it to police station for fir. Then strings of questions where police and people look at you as if you see the criminal here. Then it makes it to court and there's no guarantee you will see the end of it in this lifetime. This is just a regular sexual abuse/teasing/stalking case. Martial rape has another sets of prejudices to deal with- husband's rights on his wife cause he won her, right? Parents sold her along with dowry right? Maybe some vedic books give rights to husband to do whatever he wants. This is where we lack. I
Internet is funny place, we can share our stories without fear that someone will recognise us. I have recently started dealing with this so wanted to get off his chest- my guitar teacher touched me inappropriately when I was in class 6. I didn't understand his touch, maybe liked it cause it was different? I never told anyone, it went on for months. Then one day I just blurted it out to mom, cause it will be Sunday in next 2 days and I didn't want to go. I remember giving excuses past weeks to avoid going. Maybe deep down I knew it would escalate to more dark place and I didn't want it. Mom was outataged, she couldn't believe it. He was like a father figure cause my own dad stayed far away in Bangalore. Me and mom stay in WB. He often used to come, SAT with us. He would bring snacks, tease me about school and studies. Mom called him Dada as in big brother. His wife was my aunty like, he had a daughter who was very small, like 6/7, his son used to play piano. When I told mom she told dad. What else we could've done? He called him and threatened him, maybe verbally abused him idk. Here's the funny part, his wife came the next day to our house. Made quite ruckus, crying and yelling. Throwing herself on our sofa, following mom to kitchen, sitting against wall on floor. One thing she kept saying again and again, that I may have misunderstood his touch. I was right there, she came to me and said those words repeatedly as if to hear it themselves from my mouth. I could understand she as a wife may not accept it, it was a shock. I was that naive back then. Now, I am not. Why he get to be so normal when I have suppressed it for years and just now dealing with it? Why he get that perfect family but sometimes I look at mom and feel like maybe she's thinking I am too damaged due to my past? Why his wife didn't believe a kid? I was a kid, I wasn't lying. What could I get by lying? Why would I give false accusations? He was like a father figure, I didn't want to ruin it.
The point I wanted to make before this above mess is we as a people need to sympathize with victims. Not side with sexual abuser just cause he's a well respected man or that he never did anythingf prior this. Maybe he did, we just don't know. Why suppress the lone survivor who's actually speaking out? And it comes with the second class treatment of female, that females are like tissues to use and throw, that they are easy. That everything is theirs fault. It's not. About bloody time we get over it. We fight against British and won, when we will win over our internal issues?
I have heard how unsafe Delhi is but honestly, no place is better. Delhi gets highlighted more cause it's NCR and it should be more safe than other places. Same with Bangalore Chennai. People talk about how it used to be safer before, now Western influence is making boys went berserk and molest others. Once again, blame upbringing not everything else.
Anupamaa
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