Priorities!!! EDITED! - Page 2

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Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#11
Sabita, thank you for sharing your story. It was heartbreaking but at the same time, it was a triumph of your nature. You won your mother-in-law over to the extent that she was more worried for you than the prospect of what you can get for her i.e. a baby. That's a win for a woman. Now that's a logical story I'd like to see on screen.

But here, the way they are portraying the show, it trivialises a woman's value to her capacity to bear children. There are many women out there who are childless due to their own will or due to circumstances. They are also valuable human being and as precious as women with kids.

Why reduce their dignity by portraying such a disgusting act where a husband takes risks with his wife's health to keep peace in his household? If it was that big a concern, why did he marry her in the first place? He could have married anyone who could give his mother a baby? But he married her and now taking risks with her without her consent.

Why is a simple thing like Consent is such an incomprehensible concept for us?

I didn't cook anything for potluck with my exam and everything. But I bought Vegetarian Biriyani from my favourite Indian store. Lol... Desperate times and everything.

Originally posted by: gemini54

Today I want to share yet another personal story of mine..I always chose Tia's thread to do so!😆😉

My MIL was opposed to me and my husband getting married. Her problem was that my husband made a decision of marriage himself and it was not arranged by her. This was a first in my husbands family as all of them had arranged marriages.

After a lot of drama we got married but my MIL changed she used to like me before marriage but because of the way the marriage took place she was cordial to me but not loving in the beginning. Then everything changed we were having our first child she had come to help because my parents couldn't and I had severe complications during my birth that the Dr's even said they could not save me. My husband was devastated my MIL broke down and told my husband that this was happening because she did not have any reason to dislike me but she did..she prayed day and night and refused to leave my side in the hospital. After 3 weeks in the hospital my son and I were fine she hugged me and said she was sorry she treated me badly. She called my parents and apologized but said she was very happy that the baby and I were fine..That was the turning point in my relationship with her from then on she was not a MIL but a mother to me so much so that during her last days she suffered from dementia but only recognized my voice.

The point I am trying to make is my MIL understood on her own, she admitted what she did was wrong and decided to mend the relationship on her own because she loved my husband and so loved me first maybe by proxy but then genuinely and thru this all My husband balanced between the two of us that neither one of us felt he was being unfair.

There are so many ways that this story could have portrayed insecurities and how we overcome them in a positive way so as to give hope to the people who are watching but instead they chose to travel on a road where all relationships as I see it is in peril a point of no return so to speak and that is the Gripe I have on this show which once was so beautiful that it struck a personal chord with me.

Thanks Tia for always opening a Thread and giving a place for people to share their thoughts freely so much so I end up sharing my personal stories😆

Have fun at the Potluck are you making something ?

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#12
Oh how I wish Lavanya that Dev has got over my mother is Goddess concept by now. I used to think that he is blind to Ishwari's fault. But he is not blind or stupid. He just can't stand up to what she is doing wrong even knowing that what she was doing to Sonakshi was not right as evident from his flashbacks. He knew that Sonakshi was being treated wrongly but he stayed silent. I just can't forgive that.

It should not be hard to imagine for him if Sonakshi is treated like that when he is around, how worse she must be treated when he is not around?

It's one thing if you don't know or don't realise, and another if you don't give a damn even if you know and understand everything.

The fact that he shouted at Ranveer that he can't tolerate his wife's insult under his roof turned so much more fake and lies after that flashback.

It's the same as when a child is abused under his/her own parents' roof but they remain silent because the abuser if someone they love. How is this any different?

I can't see his love for Sonakshi anymore. It seems more like a stubborn demand than love. Love is not so selfish, love doesn't put loved ones at risk.

Originally posted by: dlavanya

Nice post tia... Like i have been saying all these days... Dev and dev alone is responsible for all the problems in dixit mansion... He needs to admit that ishwari is not god and a human with flaws.. Like ishwari once said - every individual is responsible for their own happiness.. No other person can actually buy or beg it for him/her.. So he should stop trying to make all the dreams come true and actually let the ppl in the house work towards their dreams , let them learn how to find and maintain happiness.. Dev has to learn how to speak truth and only truth and also how yo say NO to undeserving demands. He should also know that he can not bend free will to get what he wants.. He needs to learn that he cannot act god and change destiny... He can definitely try to make it better but cant change ones thibking with money and power..

I guess by end of the show he learns all this... More than ishwari, dev's character is the one that needs massive growth..once he is mature all the others will find their place and willbe able to show what they are capable of..

gemini54 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#13
Thanks Tia the funny part was after that she told my husband that one child is enough for us she did not want me to go thru what I did so we had our second one after nearly 6 years we tease my younger one that he was a sweet accident..lol😆

The Veg Biriyani surely will be a hit. Good luck for your exams

P.S About this show I think it has fallen off a cliff

Sabita, thank you for sharing your story. It was heartbreaking but at the same time, it was a triumph of your nature. You won your mother-in-law over to the extent that she was more worried for you than the prospect of what you can get for her i.e. a baby. That's a win for a woman. Now that's a logical story I'd like to see on screen.

But here, the way they are portraying the show, it trivialises a woman's value to her capacity to bear children. There are many women out there who are childless due to their own will or due to circumstances. They are also valuable human being and as precious as women with kids.

Why reduce their dignity by portraying such a disgusting act where a husband takes risks with his wife's health to keep peace in his household? If it was that big a concern, why did he marry her in the first place? He could have married anyone who could give his mother a baby? But he married her and now taking risks with her without her consent.

Why is a simple thing like Consent is such an incomprehensible concept for us?

I didn't cook anything for potluck with my exam and everything. But I bought Vegetarian Biriyani from my favourite Indian store. Lol... Desperate times and everything.


Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#14
That's exactly what I was trying to say, Sabita. Your mother-in-law became your mother when she realised your importance and no mother ever wants to risk her daughter's health for a grandchild. That's what I wanted to see. But here the maker is making both Dev and Ishwari use and value Sona as a broodmare.

Well, even if they don't like my store-bought Veg Biriyani, no problem. There are plenty of stuff to eat and I love leftovers. Lol...

P.S. You are pretty cute. I saw your fb pic. 😊

Originally posted by: gemini54

Thanks Tia the funny part was after that she told my husband that one child is enough for us she did not want me to go thru what I did so we had our second one after nearly 6 years we tease my younger one that he was a sweet accident..lol😆

The Veg Biriyani surely will be a hit. Good luck for your exams

P.S About this show I think it has fallen off a cliff

thedramaqueen thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#15

I have a slightly different take on this track after watching this week's episodes. The fillers are also talking to me.

See, Dev has always said his mother is his first priority. He was very clear to Sonakshi that she is the 2nd most important woman to him. Sonakshi also acknowledges the same and in fact openly thanks her mother in law for sharing her son with her. No comments on how this triangle works. That's for another day.

Now, Ishwari's behaviour in the last few days has been disorderly. I don't know if that's by design or not. In my opinion it's a correction to her overly sadist portrayal in the last 2 months. But, Ishwari started this baby news fire and Sonakshi added some fuel to it (by proxy - simply by not pushing much re testing and instead basking in the love). It was fully blazing when Dev walked into the scene. This man's mother over dosed on sleeping pills to the point of death and he doesn't know she did it as an act of over medication. His understanding is she tried to commit suicide. Does he love Sonakshi - In his definition he does... And I think in some ways he loves her more than many heros you see on screen - small or big. Like the fusion article writer said, he believes and says she is the best. He has a glow of endearing pride for this lady.

However, when you have a very fragile mother (who can do all sorts of manipulations which the viewers in us believe you know but were in denial about) and a wife who is not only your love but also the best thing that happened to you... why would you not communicate? Why would you not tell your wife about such a big challenge your marriage is about to face so that you guys can do something about it before your fragile mother throws a googly at you? Do you know who is doing a better job of communication these days - My favourite (not!) Mr & Mrs Tripathi. They aren't having lovey-dovey-you-are-the-best type conversations... But they are open and surprisingly honest. Even Vicky is pretty open to his wife and tells her what his mother will have a problem with.

Dev obviously has a bigger fish to fry (pun not intended). But they can solve this problem together and this would have been a different fight altogether had sonakshi known about her health and their challenges. There are many solutions and one of them may simply be that they fall pregnant and she takes medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Its not so much about choosing between ma and biwi right now. If it is, he is in fact choosing his biwi because he wants the biwi to be loved. For him its about the bond his ma and biwi need to have for his ecosystem to be in balance.

PS: Some comments on fillers:

1. Asha-Ishwari conversation - Do you guys see what I am seeing - The happy painting that the baby news painted has already started fading. If the grandmothers cant agree on such small topics and there is an over-enthusiastic grandfather in background, how long will the baby-Band-Aid work?

a. Something else that came to my mind is that unless Sonakshi ends up signing the papers for treatment (whatever that may be), eventually when Dev gets caught, I would like to see what Bijoy's reaction will be. I see shades of my dad in Bijoy and my dad would shred any human being who messes with even an ounce of my body. So that scene if it ever plays will be quite personal to me

2. Sonakshi running off to play Byomkesh bakshi - Did I see Ishwari's old my-devotee-left-without-taking-prasad avatar there?

3. Vicky-elena(and Radharani) - As much as I hate this couple and have very little respect for this velagardi type love - They are sub-consciously making both Radharani and ishwari thankful for Devakshi's attitude towards the family

a. But what is shouting out at me is that Elena is not changing for anyone and she isn't expecting anyone to change for her. She is quite selfish at times. But, atleast the couple aren't creating too much drama in each other's life

Edited by thedramaqueen - 8 years ago
Hari73 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#16
Good post about priority tia.
But this is so wrong husband taking decision about wife. For God's sake writer should Change this attitude of Dev. This is really not joke. Husband cannot be so insensitive towards wife health. They cannot glorify this in national TV.

I have seen husband avoiding and convincing wife they can live without children considering how exhausting this kind of treatment. This is so sad..cvs taken this route in the name of love.
WeRockTheWorld thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

I have a slightly different take on this track after watching this week's episodes. The fillers are also talking to me.

See, Dev has always said his mother is his first priority. He was very clear to Sonakshi that she is the 2nd most important woman to him. Sonakshi also acknowledges the same and in fact openly thanks her mother in law for sharing her son with her. No comments on how this triangle works. That's for another day.

Now, Ishwari's behaviour in the last few days has been disorderly. I don't know if that's by design or not. In my opinion it's a correction to her overly sadist portrayal in the last 2 months. But, Ishwari started this baby news fire and Sonakshi added some fuel to it (by proxy - simply by not pushing much re testing and instead basking in the love). It was fully blazing when Dev walked into the scene. This man's mother over dosed on sleeping pills to the point of death and he doesn't know she did it as an act of over medication. His understanding is she tried to commit suicide. Does he love Sonakshi - In his definition he does... And I think in some ways he loves her more than many heros you see on screen - small or big. Like the fusion article writer said, he believes and says she is the best. He has a glow of endearing pride for this lady.

However, when you have a very fragile mother (who can do all sorts of manipulations which the viewers in us believe you know but were in denial about) and a wife who is not only your love but also the best thing that happened to you... why would you not communicate? Why would you not tell your wife about such a big challenge your marriage is about to face so that you guys can do something about it before your fragile mother throws a googly at you? Do you know who is doing a better job of communication these days - My favourite (not!) Mr & Mrs Tripathi. They aren't having lovey-dovey-you-are-the-best type conversations... But they are open and surprisingly honest. Even Vicky is pretty open to his wife and tells her what his mother will have a problem with.

Dev obviously has a bigger fish to fry (pun not intended). But they can solve this problem together and this would have been a different fight altogether had sonakshi known about her health and their challenges. There are many solutions and one of them may simply be that they fall pregnant and she takes medication to sustain the pregnancy.

Its not so much about choosing between ma and biwi right now. If it is, he is in fact choosing his biwi because he wants the biwi to be loved. For him its about the bond his ma and biwi need to have for his ecosystem to be in balance.

PS: Some comments on fillers:

1. Asha-Ishwari conversation - Do you guys see what I am seeing - The happy painting that the baby news painted has already started fading. If the grandmothers cant agree on such small topics and there is an over-enthusiastic grandfather in background, how long will the baby-Band-Aid work?

a. Something else that came to my mind is that unless Sonakshi ends up signing the papers for treatment (whatever that may be), eventually when Dev gets caught, I would like to see what Bijoy's reaction will be. I see shades of my dad in Bijoy and my dad would shred any human being who messes with even an ounce of my body. So that scene if it ever plays will be quite personal to me

2. Sonakshi running off to play Byomkesh bakshi - Did I see Ishwari's old my-devotee-left-without-taking-prasad avatar there?

3. Vicky-elena(and Radharani) - As much as I hate this couple and have very little respect for this velagardi type love - They are sub-consciously making both Radharani and ishwari thankful for Devakshi's attitude towards the family

a. But what is shouting out at me is that Elena is not changing for anyone and she isn't expecting anyone to change for her. She is quite selfish at times. But, atleast the couple aren't creating too much drama in each other's life

Loved reading your comment on this post !!

@ BOLD ...I know what that means...when ever Bijoy comes on screen reminds us of our dad...daughters are their fathers PRIDE!!😆😉...I have said this even before...a possessive father of a girl is much more dangerous that a boys mother...🤣...and Bijoy is a very good example of a proud father!!


thedramaqueen thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

Loved reading your comment on this post !!

Thanks.. While I have an opinion on how utterly unscientific the track is progressing, I wanted to watch Dev a few times (I can do that forever ya know! ;-) ) before making up my mind on what exactly is he trying to do here

@ BOLD ...I know what that means...when ever Bijoy comes on screen reminds us of our dad...daughters are their fathers PRIDE!!😆😉...I have said this even before...a possessive father of a girl is much more dangerous that a boys mother...🤣...and Bijoy is a very good example of a proud father!!

Oh my dad is dangerous like that. Overly protective. Not very popular with my in-laws

preethik thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#19
I know that all of us would like dev to behave in a certain way.

But this track makes me feel that dev is very much in character. He has always got his way by hook or crook. Now all he knows & sees is that the unborn baby is bringing the much wanted change in his home between the 2 most important ladies of his life.

I also feel that this is all ishs upbringing which was win at all costs & loosing was never an option. End of the day dev is an emotional impulsive person.

Probably this track is for him to grow as a person & realize that he cannot fix everything. When he admits that to himself probably he can see what's happening around his family with much more clarity!
thedramaqueen thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#20
Oh yes Preethi, he is very much in character. So is Ishwari. That is the frustration we all have isnt it - When is he going to change and more importantly why make a mockery of infertility like this

Originally posted by: preethik

I know that all of us would like dev to behave in a certain way.

But this track makes me feel that dev is very much in character. He has always got his way by hook or crook. Now all he knows & sees is that the unborn baby is bringing the much wanted change in his home between the 2 most important ladies of his life.

I also feel that this is all ishs upbringing which was win at all costs & loosing was never an option. End of the day dev is an emotional impulsive person.

Probably this track is for him to grow as a person & realize that he cannot fix everything. When he admits that to himself probably he can see what's happening around his family with much more clarity!

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