Those Twisted Dixits: Part II

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: AnnzSageflower7
Res ❤️
***

Awesome post Sam ...love your perspective on Neha and her family.

You're absolutely right about Neha being the living breathing evidence that Dev and Ishwari are less than perfect people. She brings them down to size , to a mortal size. They instantly get guilt tripped and they give her whatever she wants, to make the unpleasant feeling go away.

A spoilt bratty little girl, gets whatever she wants. Will it make her a happy little girl?

She needs help right now . Preferably from her mother. Not Ishwari's spoiling, but a REAL mother. One who would listen, and make things happen for her to get the resolution she needs for her problem.

The fact that it's been so long, and no one asked her what happened , is awful. Nobody bothered? at least Ishwari should have asked. This would have been her opportunity to atone for all the times she wasn't there for Neha. When she came home, it was Ishwari she wanted to hug and cry to.

Just because Neha demands everything , it doesn't mean she must have it. It's high time Ishwari took on the role of Neha's mother and guide to lost girl to her happiness.

If a divorce is what she wants, then fine. But she must advance and be a new better person not go backwards to the pre marriage Neha. Sona may be seen as meddling, but medicine is often bitter and unpleasant, but eventually helps you get better.

Thanks! I so enjoy your responses, so was eagerly awaiting your UnRes! 😃

I completely agree with your assessment of Dev and Ishwari's behaviour with Neha. The funny thing about the latter, though, is that she isn't actually spoilt, but she behaves that way with Dev and Ishwari because it's the only way she gets anything out of them, be it material things or attention. It's like they can only ever see her as a petulant child or a long-suffering victim. Where's the validation for her achievements with Rhea and Nikki? Where's the respect she deserves for being a cornerstone in their family's progress?

@bold: WORD! This is precisely why I felt that Ishwari's guilt over Neha in this instance was purely accidental. She dragged Neha and her problems into view by attempting to deploy her for other means. Otherwise, she was happy enough to let Neha sulk all by herself in some corner of the house, mostly ignored by the family. Neha's anger and her sharp tongue are a cry for help that Ishwari is deliberately blocking out for her own comfort. Neha needs a strong parent right now, who is looking out for her above anything else, and Ishwari cannot run away from that responsibility fast enough!

Totally agree about the divorce. Neha should be in a position to really understand what she is doing, and what she is losing. Otherwise this could well be a case of "act in haste, repent at leisure."

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sona_naksh

@sona_naksh

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#12

It is such a beautifully written ppst

Thank u for writing it

Happy Diwali

Although ishwari ll ask sona to stay out of neha's issue ...but dat wont happen coz wid neha's issue dev is directly involved and sona has d calibre to deal wid neha and make her understand ...

Wid neha issue resolution i think ishwari ll again shown mirror by neha but dis tym it wud b regarding sona in dixit family

Edited by sona_naksh - 8 years ago

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: gmgi
Thank you Sam for this treat especially on Diwali. Happy Diwali🥳
Loved your take on Neha and Ishwari like always. Agree with you too. Ishwari used Neha's condition to mask her intent of preventing Dev from going away for HM with Sona. But it back fired because Neha was some one she had wronged out of desperation and she was very much capable of taking Ishwari on a guilt trip just like her. Neha is a beautifully etched character and the one who always showed us the real Ishwari even when we were shown the woman behind the successful business man Dev Dixit.

Her negligence paved way to the bitterness in Neha and no amount of sweetness Ishwari usually uses was never enough to lessen it. She is a strong individual who has her heart at the right place. The way she brought up her younger siblings was enough proof. She became their mother which Ishwari never even tried, thus preventing more Neha's in the family.

The escape mechanism which was essential for their survival has to come off for them to accept their failures and to come to terms with their past. Neha doesn't have a friend or a proper guide to show her the path, to make her understand what she really wants. Sona cannot stay away from the problem because Dev and Ishwari will be directly involved. Dev and his guilt will not let her stay away and Neha really needs someone who is not directly involved, who has her welfare at heart. Some one whom Neha cannot send on a guilt trip and who is mature enough to deal with her tantrums. Sona is the best candidate available right now.

Happy Diwali to you tool! 🥳

I love what you have said about Neha and Ishwari as well! It's so true, Ishwari's sweetness which works its charm on almost everyone else has no effect whatsoever on Neha because she can see right through it. As she said, Ishwari was sweet in that sense all of her life, but it came to nothing. Neha still had to suffer the pain and constantly feel like she was second best to Dev. Nobody but Ishwari can set this right for her, but in order to do that, Ishwari has to remove the facade that she is the perfect mother and get her hands dirty by confronting the more unsavoury bits of traumatic past.

Sona does play a very interesting role here, and I like that she is not afraid to dig in. It's not fair for Ishwari to stall her honeymoon saying that Neha needs help, and then block her out. By invoking Neha's issues as reason for Dev and Sona to stay behind, I think Ishwari gave her full rights to do what she can for the situation: after all, it can't get worse!

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: OmNaMaSteOm
Wow!, thats a very interesting analysis
Thereby, clearing some of my confusions about Ishwari. Neha I understand, I relate to her so much though I have not been through what she has, but seen such people and their misery.
Ishwari is such a complex character even complex than Neha. So may be by November we get to see Ishwari changing towards Neha ? ready to accept her failure as a mother to Neha and then may be Dev too ?

But why is Ishwari jealous seeing DevAkshi romance ? after having 4 kids why jalan ? I understand Neha's jealousy she does not get it from Ranveer hence she returned home.

Thanks! Ishwari is indeed an incredibly complex character, and I think that a transformation in her relationship with Neha will be an essential part of her journey on the show. She has never really been a mother to Neha, and she has to learn how, as much as she has to let go of "Dev's mother" as her sole identity marker. Only then can she create healthy relationships with both her children.

I don't think Ishwari is jealous exactly about Dev and Sona's romance. She articulated her fear more clearly to Mamaji the other day: she's afraid that Dev will get so lost in his new love for Sona that he will forget her, their family, and his responsibilities. Ishwari is acutely aware that they are all entirely dependent on Dev for their daily bread, so she freaks out when she perceives a threat to his obligation. That's why she wields guilt as a weapon. She is well aware that Sona has the power to free Dev from his guilt, but what he fear isn't allowing her to see is that Dev's love for them would keep him bound to his family even when he didn't feel imprisoned by guilt.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: sona_naksh
It is such a beautifully written ppst
Thank u for writing it
Happy Diwali
Although ishwari ll ask sona to stay out of neha's issue ...but dat wont happen coz wid neha's issue dev is directly involved and sona has d calibre to deal wid neha and make her understand ...
Wid neha issue resolution i think ishwari ll again shown mirror by neha but dis tym it wud b regarding sona in dixit family

Thanks! And Happy Diwali! 🥳

I think Ishwari lost the right to tell Sona to stay out when she made her cancel her honeymoon, citing Neha as the reason. Ishwari may not have intended it that way, but she ended up communicating to Dev and Sona that they were needed at home. She can't easily back out of that now.

I have been waiting for a real Sona-Neha friendship since the beginning of the show, since I love both of these young women so much, and feel they have so much in common but also so much to learn from each other. I hope we see that emerging, if Sona is indeed the one to catalyse communication between Neha and Ranveer. 😊

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OmNaMaSteOm

@OmNaMaSteOm

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#16

So you are saying Ishwari does not know Dev loves his family ? Isn't that odd and out of place ?

Why does Ishwari show jealousy expressions ? Though she expressed her concern to Mamaji, her expressions are in contradiction to what she says - that is my confusion.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: OmNaMaSteOm
So you are saying Ishwari does not know Dev loves his family ? Isn't that odd and out of place ?
Why does Ishwari show jealousy expressions ? Though she expressed her concern to Mamaji, her expressions are in contradiction to what she says - that is my confusion.

I still don't know if jealousy is the word I would use, but I think I get what you are saying. For the longest time, Dev has been the closest thing to a partner that Ishwari has had. They shared a lot of responsibilities together, and ran their household as a team. Now Dev has a new partner, and thanks to the break-up, Ishwari knows just how much power Sona has, how much Dev needs her, and she is in constant fear of when Sona will exercise this power against the family. Again, it's not to do with Sona herself, but rooted in the deep fear of ending up back where they started after all her hard work. After you have faced what they have together, it's hard to let someone else in and trust them with what you hold most dear. I think that is where her speech to Neha about all of Dev's wealth belonging equally to the sisters came in... she was trying to send a message across to Sona, who of course has no notion of the insecurities she is creating!

Honestly, I don't know if Ishwari thinks of love and obligation as distinct. Dev is obligated to "love" his family more because they all favoured his rise to success over other priorities. Neha's hateful behaviour is often allowed to pass because she did not receive the same treatment. The new form of love that she sees between Dev and Sona scares Ishwari because she doesn't understand it. To her, it looks entirely based on selfish and impulsive desires between two people, not considering the feelings of their families: not an uncommon view of romantic love among the more conservative. To them, romantic love is something you get swept away in, something that takes you away from the mundane and makes you indifferent to practical needs. That a love like this could translate into a successful marriage, where both partners help each other through their mundane needs while elevating each other through a selfless love, is something that Ishwari cannot yet fathom because it is so unfamiliar.

This show is doing a great job explaining this new brand of romantic love, which translates to successful marriages, to a generation that saw it as a purely impractical thing, at odds with society and worldly wisdom. It shows how such a love can actually enrich the day-to-day when both parties understand each other's issues and limitations and love each other anyway.

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#18

Great post. You have a way with words. Many of us have been trying to say this for weeks now. You summarised it all. Golden words

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mena_k

@mena_k

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#19

Wonderful post and take on last weeks episodes.

Neha is a traumatised soul. The memories of childhood plays a major role in defining what we are today. A persons character both good and bad are related to what upbringing and conditions one was subjected to as a child. Though every person learns from his or her experiences as an adult but the basic framework of ones persona comes from his/her childhood. I never believed Neha's problem was money anytime, but love which she never got from her mother. Ishwari was never kind to her, never had time for her, not when they were poor, not now when they are rich. The feeling of being neglected is what led her to her decision to marry Ranveer. Yes she wanted love something which her own family failed to give. Ishwari never allowed any bonding between Dev and any of his sisters, which might have had helped Neha get over the feeling of being dejected. What Ishwari did to her as a child and doing now has nothing to do with them being poor. Being alone in a family really hurts, especially when you see someone so close getting all the love and care and you having none.

Perhaps what Neha needs from Ishwari (being the only faulty person here), is her mother accepting and for once apologizing for what she could or could not give her. To just sit with her and have a real mother-daughter talk without bringing in her own misery or what she did for Dev. Ishwari loves portraying her image of someone who has sacrificed everything for Dev, and she loves to keep people around who keep praising her as the same. But may be by seeing Ishwari did feel her pain could ease Neha's pain as a starting point. I am not saying anything as a punishment or putting Ishwari down in front of her daughter, but when you are at a fault, immaterial to what relation status you are, sometimes the best way to deal with a situation is accepting the truth. Ishwari was wrong, not for asking Neha to take care of her younger siblings, but for neglecting a child and choosing the other. Neha needs to be felt she means something to someone. She didn't feel like anything for Ishwari and now she wants to fill that void by being the only important one for Ranveer. Again, a choice which comes off as a direct result of what she felt all her life in her own house or was made to feel by her mother. Even a plant grows better If cared for in a better way with love.