Feminism A Reality Or A Myth? - Page 2

Originally posted by: yyy

..you are back with the bang 👏👏...feminism is the word we have often see in the forum and it's used as per convenience ...

I agree with you on some things but on cedrain things I disagree with you

You are not alone even I criticize Sona time and again and just like any other character she has her own flaws ...she has done many mistakes and like u said she is lucky that she gets all the sympathy and she is the least bashed character in the forum ...

Having said that I was disappointed with Ishwari today and I did feel bad for Sona .Unfortunately her HM issue got tied with Neha's issues and to justify her actions of cancelling the HM she blurted about Neha to her parents ...it was not intentional but what I like about that is she was real and was not made to look like a mahaan character . ...I think more than Sona it was Bijoy who did the damage . ...without knowing anything he kept bringing Neha's name .Her intentions were right ..she was not gossiping about Neha with her parents

Thank you very much. Yes she was not gossiping. But just she forgot that she should not reveal Neha's issue there . We share many things with our parents about our in laws. It is natural. But the way it was done surely not right.

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

Mahi Thanks for sparing time and responding promptly. Whether Iswari is sick or not I wish she should be treated with the same concern,sympathy and understanding. We may criticise the act but not the person. Motherhood is God given blessing Mahishee. If she is behaving in an abnormal way like she often does. Instead of overlooking her problem it should be dealt with. Dev has to do that. No one else. But he is an escapist. He sees only that is relishable to him. Unless he opens his eyes Iswari's disorders will never get lost. Her actions draw criticism. But that doesn't mean her motherhood can also be mocked at. I hope she will see the truth of human life at a proper time and live her life peacefully .

Originally posted by: Artist_Forever

No no I get that. But what I want to say, I'm repeating this. The problem of Dixit family is that they don't UNDERSTAND each other. Neha is misunderstood, so is Ishwari. Dev is facing a tough time balancing Maa and wife.

And almost all the times, the reactions and repercussions are so magnanimous that its difficult to explain. Like that suicide thing.

Otherwise, I'm a person too small to understand this in absolute detail.

Maybe you'll know more of it. I respect that :)

perfect words Mahishee. Yes Dikshit's are complicated and difficult to understand.No no. You understood very well. Just right.

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

perfect words Mahishee. Yes Dikshit's are complicated and difficult to understand.No no. You understood very well. Just right.

First of all, I'm 14, which I assume is one of the youngest members on this forum family. I don't want to offend anyone here and thats all I'm saying before shooting my argument.

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

" The belief that women should be allowed the same rights,power and opportunities as men and be treated in the same way or the set of activities intended to achieve this state."

So how are our charecters treated by progressive,people with feminism as their basic trait let us see.

Iswari Dikshit Right now the most hated Charecter on the forum. Every move of her is branded as manipulative ,scheming and mentally sick by the feminists and others also.Iswari toiled hard to help Dev reach the position he achieved. She is blamed for taking away Neha's right to progress. The glaring reality that Iswari could not afford making both study is conveniently overlooked.Iswari's hard work,her fight as a single woman was never acknowledged. Instead she is accused of being partial to Dev . She invested on Dev because he will look after the family later. So she is selfish in doing so. That is the verdict. If it is so then all the parents will be called selfish only.

My sister is a divorcee. She faced so much then came out of the marriage. She has a good job. But no children.My mother says you are blessed with everything she is denied everything. Does that mean my mother envies my happiness? Never.

Iswari is called names. She is disgustingly referred to as GF and mocked at by all progressive minded people.She is criticised for holding power on the house and Dev. So I feel the feminists and others do not consider Iswari fit to be supported.

Finally feminism should not be restricted to favouritism.

It is not optional.

So treat all the flawed charecters equally.Let opportunities,rights and power be equally distributed or attributed to Iswari,Neha and Sona. There lies propriety. There lies justice.

I have always wondered why you have so much of sympathy for Ishu and dislike for Sona...many a times I have thought what is that makes you so indifferent with these characters that you take it a lil too personally ...today I think I have a fair understanding of you after reading your post.

Feminism... I don't agree with the definition completely . A women cant be equal to man and vise verse because we are designed differently by nature...I dislike anything that reaches the line of fanatics...anything more than the normal is bad . Its like more sugar you end up being diabetic.. I love being a women and I don't want to be even compared to a man. But that doesn't make me hate men or think that I can do better than them. I respect them equally not because they are men because they are as human as I am !!

And above all I don't associate work and power with gender. A good leadership comes from great minds and good products comes from the workers who have great skill... having explained my thoughts on feminism let us get to our favorite characters.

Coming to our show...Every character has flaws no one need to be glorified ... No one is god here. Mere human souls trying to survive in a materialistic world.

Ishwari - Single mom with 4 kids, not educated, from a patriarchal origin of society...no support at all to bring up her kids...she wanted to survive ..and see to that her kids also survive along with her. She had to plan for her and her kids safety, security and future.

Plan - Of the four kids she choose to educate the Eldest son, who understood her pain and miseries . Who was her emotional support ever since she lost her husband. Because she was confident that he wouldn't go against her and would be with her.

Of the next 3 , She choose Neha to manage home and her younger two girls had to be safe..Neha is very bold in certain aspects ( Saw the way she handled Khathri ) So she kept her at home. It is not she couldn't afford Neha's education . If Ishwari wanted she would have ...but Neha's education didn't fit the plan.

Risk in the above plan - what if Dev had turned to be like Vicky?? And Neha when alone had got abused by someone? Thankfully I would say Ishu was lucky. God helps ppl who help themselves.

Did her plan succeed ? Yes it did beautifully!!

Everything went well till kids started wanting things for themselves. Here comes the conflict of interest. As long as kids are small and blindly listening to the parents everything is fine.

Neha , fell in love .So did Dev. Was it wrong ? No, it isn't. They should !! after all everyone needs a life partner in their life. After both these kids got married , they started facing their own challenges . And we have the entry of two new ppl into this family who are completely different from them. Both Ranveer and Sonakshi come from middle class family . They have had a very balanced childhood compared to the dixit kids . They were never brought with any specific plan in mind by their parents. In fact they had the liberty to choose what they wanted to be and never burdened by their parents wrt financial or emotional responsibility.

But does that mean that Sona and Ranveer have no family values ...I wouldn't say that . These are two ppl who took to support their families fanicailly with out their parents prompting to do so.

Neha and Sona Confrontation -

Why did Sona tell her parents about Neha's issue?

Neha discussed her inlaws financial situation with her brother and mom. And the related problems that happens there with them. So why cant Sona do the same? She did exactly the same when her parents came . Infact I felt Sona was saving image of Dev and her in laws in front of her parents by telling the truth. Or they would end up thinking that Dev and his family has no value for their daughter's dreams/likes /disliked and hence decided to cancel the HM .

I would say her timing was wrong - she could have told them later via phone . Well she is a newly married. She will learn from her mistakes.

I don't see a difference betwn Dev and Ranveer. Both put their family ahead of their wife's needs. If we are asking Sona to understand and support Dev and co..then we need to do the same with Neha as well.

If Neha lacks materialistic aspects at her in laws place .Sona lacks acceptance from her in laws and emotional support. Reality is that we all need a mixture of all these aspects to survive. How much we need depends on our character.

Daughters staying at their maternal house. Yes we have all rights to do .That is where we belong . That is our origin and we should be proud of that.

The difference betwn Neha and Sona as daughter in laws are ..Neha ran away when things got tough at her in laws place. Sona didn't atleast not till now. She wasn't happy abt the HM . She just decided to stand by her husband s decision and support him.

My heart says that Sona will not be able to hold on long ..there is bound to be a separation.

As I always say , these two couples havnt been married for long . Initial days of marriage there will be ups and downs...it takes time to change the sentence from " U and I in this beautiful world " to "US in this beautiful world". Give them time and am sure they all will be fine...

Regarding the statement "Let opportunities, rights and power be equally distributed or attributed to Iswari,Neha and Sona. There lies propriety. There lies justice." In an ideal world its possible. But this world is no close to being perfect. It was never meant to be perfect . It was never designed that way. Power struggle will be there always. When one perishes the other rises. Its survival of the fittest ...because that is what keeps the circle of life intact.

Ok Chalo sab thik hai - But who should Sona share her pain with? Is she a human being or a robot?????? ok, so saying it in place where someone can hear is wrong - I would call it stupid!!!!!! But as a human being, she would share some things with her parents or not!!!!!!!

In Dixit house - she can't talk to anyone about what SHE is going through. Can she tell it Dev??? Not really. It is his family after all and as things stand today, he tells her that you are an outsider and can't really understand.

So it would be very unfair to judge Sona very harshly. And even more unfair to degrade the concept of feminism. It is radical form of any ideology that is problematic. So Feminism that puts across right questions regarding gender equality should not be ridiculed just because a user attaches the word feminism to it.

Call what you may, but a very large part of feminist movement is actually asking for Equality, and the fact that the world is more equal for the men than women actually calls for more demand for rights of women - any wonder why an ideology like feminism should gain coin then!!!!!

Originally posted by: sappushivu

mayu mayu mayu..my dear girl...i loved your reply ...i am equally appalled at the post ... and moreso by the statement that if Ishwari is termed selfish, then every parent is selfish ! i read it a few times to check if its really written or am i imagining stuff...let me state the differance with a normal parent and few parents like Ishwari:

1) A normal parent never shows any bias towards her kids , she loves and cares for them equally however Ishwari sacrificed Neha's future for her Son , because she believed her daughter wldnt be capable enough to tke care of the family so she decides to give Dev a chance to prove himself wheras Neha never got any chance.And wat Ishwari did is a clear gender bias , hence she is selfish.

2) A normal parent doesnt snatch away the kids childhood, and make him toil hard at such a young age just so that he can pull them out of poverty asap. If you remember Ishwari's reaction on seeing Dev play with other kids .All she cared was for Dev to get older and richer so that her family doesnt suffer any more. She got Dev admitted to a big school at the cost of Neha losing her education.As far as i believe, if there is a desire to study, the standard of the school doesnt make a difference..wen she cld have had both her kids go to school, she was greedy enough to put Dev in a school of higher std in the hope that he ll do even better...Hence she is selfish.

3) A normal parent doesnt make sacrifices expecting any returns in the future. It is a duty of the parents to bring up their kids and make them ready to face the world so that they can lead a gud life.Ishwari did what every mother would do..and she din even do it well enough or else we wlnt see such a materialistic and loveless bunch of people in the dixit family.And still she keeps reminding her son everytime to repay it to her and her family.My parents taught me but dont expect me to look after them. They are self dependent.If i take care of them it is because i am instilled with the values of loving anf resepcting my parents and elders.My husbands parents took loans to send him for higher education abroad and still today they do not demand anything in return except little love and time. Hence, Ishwari is selfish

4) A normal parent would want to see their child settle down well in life and get married and start his or her own family.However , Ishwari never wanted her Son to marry in the fear that she might lose the postion in his life. Inspite of knowing that he loves a girl and the girl makes him happy , she manipulated him to give up on his love and once he did so, she never bothered to see if he is happy and totally ignored his pain.Hence Ishwari is selfish

5) A normal parent teaches the child to be a gud partner and love and respect his /her spouse.Here Ishwari cannot tolerate him giving importance to his wife. She gets insecure seeing him happy with his wife, she feels jealous when they spend time together and she is never willing to share him with anyone , even his wife.Hence Ishwari is selfish

6) A normal parent, being more experienced would advise their kids and share their opinions and suggestions abt certain thngs however Ishwari tkes decisions for her son and his life.She cheats him into signing an agreement and indirectly tkes an importance decision about his future life without her sons permission.She even lies to him openly tking advantage of his trust in her .Hence Ishwari is cunning and selfish.

7) A normal parents love for their child is selfless , pure and genuine.However Ishwari's love is conditional, manipulative and unhealthy.She doesnt like seeing him happy and keeps pulling him towards his past and reminds him of his duties and resposibilies everytime he tries to be happy and lead a normal life.She tries to create discord betn him and his wife which a normal parent wld never do.Hence she is selfish.

Phew !! i cld go on n on..even the CV'S are very clear and portraying Ishwari as insecure and selfish and manipulative or else they wldnt show her awake the whole night thnking abt Dev going for honeymoon and the next day wen confronted, shifting the whole focus on Neha. C.V's are very clear in what they want to show to the audience.

But , i am surprised that you justify her acts , but find faults with Sonaskhi who is the only one whose love is unconditional.If she was selfish, she wlnt be back to her house jus like Neha is coz Dev like ranvir priortizes his family more than his wife. but unlike Neha, Sona comes from a different backgound and she did not have a mother like Ishwari, so she understands situations better and is ready to face them as and when they come. She is strong, independent on the outsdie and genuine and compassionate at the same time..she is everything that Ishwari is not..and that is the main reason Ishwari is so insecure abt her .Period !

Originally posted by: Niva1

Ok Chalo sab thik hai - But who should Sona share her pain with? Is she a human being or a robot?????? ok, so saying it in place where someone can hear is wrong - I would call it stupid!!!!!! But as a human being, she would share some things with her parents or not!!!!!!!

In Dixit house - she can't talk to anyone about what SHE is going through. Can she tell it Dev??? Not really. It is his family after all and as things stand today, he tells her that you are an outsider and can't really understand.

So it would be very unfair to judge Sona very harshly. And even more unfair to degrade the concept of feminism. It is radical form of any ideology that is problematic. So Feminism that puts across right questions regarding gender equality should not be ridiculed just because a user attaches the word feminism to it.

Call what you may, but a very large part of feminist movement is actually asking for Equality, and the fact that the world is more equal for the men than women actually calls for more demand for rights of women - any wonder why an ideology like feminism should gain coin then!!!!!