Originally posted by: rose4ever
So much love when he promises his constant support within the four walls of his room and fails to even notice his wife being insulted left,right and center by his family members. Hears about his wife being called kala saya and stays mum,hears his mother belittle her,stays silent,can be polite to a scum like Vicky but can't manage to calmly tell his wife that needs space and instead resorts to shouting when all the wife was doing was trying to support him.So good in making her feel right at home mere 4 days after marriage.
He has stood up for her in front of his mom and relatives not just withing four walls of his room.He has shown tremendous growth post marriage and just like Sona he needs time to adjust to this married life .
You cannot compare apples to oranges .The situation in his room when he lashed out at Sona and at the dining table are different .Dev was going through a lot and was not ready for a conversation .He needed time to think through and when he was denied that out of frustration he yelled at the person .Its his way of dealing things ...we have seen how he walks out when he is angry and later when he his calm he comes back to have a discussion or with resolution .He is not someone who is constantly seen yelling at people during fights but that day was different, his mom had made him guilty for ignoring mamaji and his family and he was very disturbed .But just because he yelled at his wife , does that mean he doesn't love his wife or doesn't respect her .
Vicky and ehsaan problem is bigger than what it seems like and Sona being a new member doesn't have any idea about the past baggage so Dev wanted to protect her by asking her to stay out.
Sona's unilateral decision: Fast. Why? To adjust in his family.Do I support that? No. BUT
Dev's unilateral decision: Hiding her medical reports,breaking up with her.Hypocrite much?
And please do note how much more serious his unilateral decisions are.It's her right to know her medical info.
So does two wrongs make a right .Regrading breakup, Dev has realized his mistake and has apologized several times for it .Does that mean every time Sona's mistakes will be justified because Dev once did a mistake ?
Regrading medical info , whether to marry her or not was his decision alone and he decided to marry her in spite of everything .Did we appreciate him for loving her unconditionally and for not backing out due to society pressure or for his mom's dreams.No instead some termed it as favor and is bashing people for bringing it up .
Hiding medical report was to protect her from the hurt and pain and to ensure she gets to enjoy her wedding .Revealing everything on the Sangeet day would not have helped anyone and moreover Dev is going through hell by keeping it to himself .
Coming to Fast situation, I understand her situation and reasons for keeping the fast .I understand her intentions are noble but did not like when she justified it using the word independent .Instead i wanted her to share her insecurities with Dev and how important is Ishwari's acceptance is.
I am not good at words but i will try to convey on how i see things .I never look at decision made by the person alone and judge them as right or wrong instead i believe in understanding the reasons which made the person take that decision and situation in which they were in.
Hence i dont blame Sona for taking unilateral decision nor Dev but for counter argument i do like to bring up certain events to show Sona is not perfect character and she behaves like a hypocrite sometimes .
So basically the wife leaves her family for her husband who stands as a mute spectator whenever any member of his family insults his wife and she should calmly take his anger? So she isn't human?She doesn't have feelings? The person who is facing constant taunts,insults from every person in the house and only expects support and respect from husband should not even expect that because he is upset?What about her feelings?They don't matter?
Just because Sona is capable of standing up for herself doesn't mean Dev doesn't need to speak up for her.So if Sona is silent, it's ok for her to get insulted?Won't you expect Sona to speak for Dev if he is insulted by her family? Even he is capable of speaking himself,but its still expected of Sona,isn't it?
Every person has to fight their own battle .When RR insulted Sona in muh dikahyi he was about to say something but stopped when Sona answered RR .She was supported by Mamaji too . Most of the times Dev is not around when RR says something and we have seen that Sona doesn't share the complete details with him either .Has she shared with her husband that Vicky misbehaves with her and Elena ?Unless she opens up to Dev he cannot protect her .
Dev is subjected to insults and taunts by her father too .Sorry , i dont agree if people justify Bijoy 's insults as his concern for his daughter .If he had his doubts he should not have agreed to this marriage or should be having a matured conversation with Dev or Sona regrading his concerns .
How is insulting other's culture , traditions justified in the name of concern and how does that help his daughter .
Coming to Ishwari , post marriage we have seen a lot of changes in her and she has shown some genuine concern towards Sonakshi and is trying to accept her but again her insecurities haven't allowed her to be successful.
Its not like Dev doesn't say anything to his mom when it comes to Sona. Dev took a stand for Sona during prenup , when he thought his mom was forcing her beliefs on Sona but the friday incident was totally different it was much bigger and it was not about Sonakshi .It was about Dev and his decisions .It was Dev who was insulted by his family members and i could see Dev wants to stop Sona from getting involved in the mess .
Dev is learning to balance between his mom and his wife and he cannot be perfect in 4 days .He has done his best to make her feel at home but Sonakshi has to help him in this .The more she stops interferes in other's matters more it gonna get difficult for her and Dev .
If i were Sona i would observe people around me and learn about their past before advising .We have seen this nature in Sona before marriage too .She got offended when Dev offered flat to Ranveer without consulting her .She is brought up in a protective environment and she cannot relate to Neha and her problems so it would better if she stays out of it .
Oh and accepting and loving your wife if she has fertility issues is humanity. If a guy claims to love you,that;s what he would do, be it before or after marriage.Love makes it his duty,not marriage.Not doing so is inhuman and is equal to a person being a jerk..Same case with running after other girls.Calling a guy great because he is not as bad as some people can be is a strange criteria.Its like saying if there are mils out there who murder their dils,we should say Ishwari is great because hey,she is at least not doing that.
I am sorry i disagree with you when it was Dev's duty to accept her and he had no choice but to marry her .He had a choice infact even after marriage people get separated when their spouse cannot give them a child .He has every rights to have biological kids .
Going by that logic can we say Sona has to accept his family's insult out of love for him ?No , it doesn't work that way
I am sure it was other way around people would have praised Sona on how she accepted someone who cannot give her kids and how much she has scarified in life
Respecting Sona's parents is normal.Just because some don't ,doesn't mean he is doing anything extra ordinary.That is what should be done.
Yes treating them as his own family and respecting them is not a big deal but definitely shows what kind of a guy he is and the amount of love he has for his wife .
Should Sona focus more on Dev than trying to become a good dil?Yes. She should.
Was she herself at fault when she decided to get married without resolving issues or without efforts on part of Dev? Yes, she was.But that doesn't mean Dev not supporting her is ok.
I wonder how she would have resolved issues before marriage .I see this comment everywhere.Does making him run behind her for years would have changed it ? Certain situation arise after marriage and working towards a relationship is a constant effort not one time task .
Dev should also focus on being a good husband not only inside bedroom but also outside it.
He has already done that .
If he supported her 2 times times out of ten,it doesn't make his eight times right. Why expectations only from Sona? Why should only she be understanding?
Well every situation is different and balancing relationship is something both need to learn and it wont happen in a day or two .Patience is required
He is a understanding husband too .He doesn't get offended when her father insults him or his culture .He keeps his ego aside even when he is not a fault .
Oh and sona has apologised innumerable times for no fault of hers.And Dev has blamed Sona for no fault of hers.Even if he apologises, he doesn't learn.
I genuinely cannot remember one situation where she is completely innocent and was made to apologize .
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