A Ray of Hope and Role Reversal!!!

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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

Nice post tia..
agree with every thing except that Bijoy's case,..

He showed Ishwari the door the first day.. .today he is just taunting (speaking to ishwari and GKB in their own language)... As of today's episode , i feel his taunts and concerns correctly fit in for me..

Yes, if he continues the same taunting when they meet again.. i would start complaining .. but for now I felt proud of what he did today (Ishwari and gkb should get a piece of their own poison).. after all bijoy knows they have not changed a bit...and will not hesitate to taunt his daughter in future...

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

I understand where you guys are coming from. I can also understand what Bijoy is feeling right now.

But the reason I was opposed to his rudeness was because how he appeared in front of Radha. Both were taunting, but they weren't speaking straight talk.

A normal vegetarian would say, "I am sorry. We are pure vegetarians. I hope you don't mind. We can't eat anything."

And after being assured that everything is vegetarian would say, "That's very sweet of you. But I wish we knew before. But we ate before we came. Maybe next time?"

But of course, Radha's intention was insult.

But when Radha was taunting about food, Bijoy could have asked plainly, "Yes, we eat everything. But my wife and my mother cooked vegetarian food all day for you. That's called respect. When you form an alliance with another culture, you have to show respect to them like we did. Otherwise, don't bother."

That's standing up for yourself. It's not taunt, it's straight talk. The first is petty, the later is honesty.

Again regarding the wedding date, if Bijoy had said, I think we should arrange for this wedding six months later. That will give them time to heal the old hurts and strengthen their relationship once again. Also it will give us time to prepare.

When Ishwari said that Dev will do what she says, he could have said, "With all due respect, I don't see the rush to get into a marriage this soon. Six months is not a long time. I'd also like to take time to get to know your family better and would like you to know us as well. As of now neither us nor you have a chance to get to know each other. Being mother of daughters, I am sure you understand."

Again, not a taunt, but straight talk.

Instead both Bijoy and Radha came off as petty and childish. Radha does not care about Ishwari or Dev. But Bijoy cares about his mother and his wife. They won't have been embarrassed by straight talk, but they were embarrassed by his taunts. Bijoy might have a more honourable motive, but that does not change the fact that the situation could have been handled better by him.

I have no expectations from Radha. I don't know why Ishwari keeps taking her everywhere or why she does not tell her not to be disrespectful. But then again, God knows what game she is playing.

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago

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Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

Well I watched the episode finally. And Bijoy's insistence on Muri-Ghonto was really irritating since when we bongs invite guests (that also special guests), we wake up at morning 6 and cook till night 7 😆 And if our dads come up with their own list, we show them the door for the day 🤣 They can go eat outside if they want something special for them because 'cook yourself' also doesn't work on such days since all ovens are pre-occupied 😆 So I was totally annoyed at Bijoy's 'farmaayish' of Muri-Ghonto today 😆 ..

Second thing - I liked Bijoy's taunt on Ishwari. Which sane-headed mother would say that her son always listens to whatever she says when she knows that that had been the root cause of all problems in Dev's life and Baba's objection.. How many times did Bijoy directly tell Ishwari that Dev is a guy who still holds onto 'Maa ka pallu' .. Still Ishwari HAD to say that 😆 .. I was waiting for Bijoy to break the rishta that time itself but he didn't 😆

But I agree that misbehaving with the guests of your wife is not good. But I also think that at this moment Bijoy doesn't care how Sona will be treated by Dixits. He knows that he has grown his girl up in a way that she is able to take care of herself. But he is still frustrated at Sona's judgement and is unable to cope up with that. Right now he is pushing them to the extreme so that somehow Dixits cancel the proposal and he gets to save his daughter's life from the obvious doomed future. If Dixits do that, may be he hopes that Sona will finally get the point and realize the truth about Dixits.

But his behavior with Saurav is really bad. It's sweet that Dada doesn't mind it 🤗 But I loved the way Bijoy said if Dada wants to contribute something, then give something to that guy 😆 From calling his would be SIL 'bewda' 'drunk' to 'uss ladka' is really progressing 😆

But whatever be the case, I can never call it role-reversal though. Ishwari's role in Dev's life is of a manipulative Master who gets immense happiness in controlling the life of her favorite puppet, she loves to hide her actual face from her son and goes behind his back to deal with the things of his life which she doesnt agree to. In fact she doesn't hesitate to even lie to Dev. She has made her life as Dev's life, starting from using boring bedsheets for Dev's room to pushing Dev to always have time for her instead of his own.

Whereas Baba's role in Sona's life has been of a true Father, friend and philosopher ❤️ He never forces Sona into anything, in fact he was more than happy when Sona told him about Dev initially. When he says her happiness is his happiness, it is indeed true. But his worries are also his worries. He sees things from a father's perspective which he can't help but. And he sees a dark future for Sona in that house. Yet he is struggling to come out of his insecurities and fears by addressing them to Asha/Dadi. He is open to change and much flexible. Today Baba is mad at Dixits because they indeed hurt his princess. He has more than enough reasons to doubt the Dixits. Where we have Ishwari who created Dev's pain, Baba's actions are to resist Sona from having pain. Hell and heaven difference. I can't call it role reversal 😒

Last but the not the least, if I were at Baba's place, I wont have agreed for the proposal at all. Dixits aint just worth it !🤔

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Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

I just read my post again, too many 'buts' in it 😆

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

Lol... Not a problem. I wrote my point of views in the comments earlier. Yes, I also think Bijoy should not have agreed to the marriage. But my point is that you can't stop your adult children from making mistakes. You can only hope they make the right decision and be there for them if they didn't.

The reason I called it role reversal because Bijoy and Ishwari made the same mistakes even though the motives are different. Both were upset with the choice of life partner. Both did not talk clearly to their children about their apprehension. Both are taking it out on their other children or other people. He had no choice, he still doesn't. Just like Ishwari didn't have a choice.

But both said they are happy for their children when they really weren't and they took it out on others.

Was Ishwari crazy? Yes. She will always be crazy. But if Sona wants to take her on, then who can say anything?

I also said Sona shouldn't have given in so fast. I'm still saying that. But I understand that the only people who can take decisions about their life are themselves. Even if it turns out a disaster, would being difficult solve it?

Until Sona had changed her mind, he could have continue to convince her why this was a bad choice like Asha was selling her side. But he kept silent then. It's like someone attends a wedding silently and at the time of Vidai says your husband is alcoholic. How's that solve anything?

The sooner he accepts the inevitable and fixes his rudeness would be better for Sona. That does not mean he has to take Radha's taunts silently. He can reply sternly and straightforwardly. Not with taunts but pointing out her disrespectful behaviour with complete calm. Why get down to Radha's level? Like I said, there's difference in taunt and straight talk. The later is honest and dignified, the former is not.

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
I just read my post again, too many 'buts' in it 😆

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Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: tia.o
Lol... Not a problem. I wrote my point of views in the comments earlier. Yes, I also think Bijoy should not have agreed to the marriage. But my point is that you can't stop your adult children from making mistakes. You can only hope they make the right decision and be there for them if they didn't.

The reason I called it role reversal because Bijoy and Ishwari made the same mistakes even though the motives are different. Both were upset with the choice of life partner. Both did not talk clearly to their children about their apprehension. Both are taking it out on their other children or other people. He had no choice, he still doesn't. Just like Ishwari didn't have a choice.

But both said they are happy for their children when they really weren't and they took it out on others.

Was Ishwari crazy? Yes. She will always be crazy. But if Sona wants to take her on, then who can say anything?

I also said Sona shouldn't have given in so fast. I'm still saying that. But I understand that the only people who can take decisions about their life are themselves. Even if it turns out a disaster, would being difficult solve it?

Until Sona had changed her mind, he could have continue to convince her why this was a bad choice like Asha was selling her side. But he kept silent then. It's like someone attends a wedding silently and at the time of Vidai says your husband is alcoholic. How's that solve anything?

The sooner he accepts the inevitable and fixes his rudeness would be better for Sona. That does not mean he has to take Radha's taunts silently. He can reply sternly and straightforwardly. Not with taunts but pointing out her disrespectful behaviour with complete calm. Why get down to Radha's level? Like I said, there's difference in taunt and straight talk. The later is honest and dignified, the former is not.

I know right ! Sona shouldn't have given in so easily.

Pre-nup track and infertility track, I am quite sure that in one of these 2 tracks, Dev is not gonna support Sona again ! If he does, nothing great, as he should 😆 But in case he doesn't, he can forget about getting married to Sona for ever .. Trust Bijoy to lodge that pending Police Complaint this time 😆

I know what you mean when you say why stoop to their level ! But will they understand that ? Like Sona once told Ishwari and GKB 'Kaun baat karta hai aise' .. Did it bear any fruit ? Dixit family is like laathon ke bhoot baaton se nahi maante 😆 Bijoy has time and again gone to Ishwari, showed her the mirror, shunned GKB on her face at DIXIT mansion that he doesn't want to talk to her 🤣 Still GKB is like motormouth 😕 I am glad Bijoy is giving fitting replies this time to shut the F up of GKB 😆

And you tell me Tia, which mother flaunts like this in her son's WEDDING discussion that her son does whatever she says ? 😆 That statement I'd say definitely invited some insults which she rightfully got. Her false pride, skyheight ego is still there and nothing has changed.

This is SO NOT how I wanted Devakshi marriage man I can SO feel for Baba 😭

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dsr11

@dsr11

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#27

Though the Asha and Sona conversation in the yesterday's episode was poorly written, what I understood today was that she just wanted Sona to bury the past and give her love one more chance. May be she felt that since the main obstacle, Eeshwari, has agreed, there is no point in crucifying Dev for his one mistake in a stressful situation. May be she is more forgiving and more hopeful, like a lot of mothers are. May be in her previous meetings with Dev, she felt that he is a caring guy. May be she wanted Sona and Dev to have a chance at happiness. Her generosity didn't go waste, as Dev is putting that extra effort to bond with the Bose family. Sona was equally generous when she told Dev that the choice of world's best daughter cannot be bad. With Bijoy's lashing he started thinking that he is not worthy of Sona. Her positive reinforcement boosted his will to keep trying to be the best SIL.

I don't blame Bijoy completely, because he saw that Dev still is the over-obedient son and he knows in his heart of hearts that Eeshwari is up to no good. Eeshwari maligned his daughter's character before. She brought Radharani today to Bose house with the sole intention to humiliate them while she maintains her saintly image. Bijoy sees through her machinations and he is just trying to protect his daughter from more heart ache. It's in his nature to deal with anything in a combative manner. That's the problem.

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#28

Baaba can only crib and complaint as of now.. He voices out his concerns🤗.. And yeah, I would like to see it toned down slowly if he senses something good about the whole situation...😊

And he'll be overridden by his own women as they see no validity in his concerns...😆

Though he's right in his fears there is nothing sure about what he thinks might happen.. And he's being very much prepared for every negativity this new relationship could bring to his daughter😉... At the same time though Asha is right in her beliefs, there is nothing sure about that as well 🤔.. And she's trying to bring in every positivity possible in the whole situation.. At the end of the day both are doing what they really see as the happiness for their daughter... 🤗

While one is as much concerned about her future, and trying to make her present beautiful and perfect, the other is too much worried about her future and wanting it to be secure and perfect, not willing to be carried away with the present happening ...

And they both can't be sure which one lies in the reality of their daughter's future... 🤔

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#29

Great Post. I found very less people hold the view that Bijoy was wrong yesterday,like yyy me and a handful. But seeing you voice the same thought with very valid justification made me feel elated.

Every point I agree with you. Yes. It was role reversal yesterday. For a change Dikshits are polite and Bijoy ? I said yesterday Bijoy shouldn't have agreed if he had no confidence in Dev. But after saying yes he should let the bygones be bygones. Otherwise there won't be a difference between him and RadhaRani who insulted the Boses when they visited Dikshit mansion.He is doing the same now. He who boasts he always wishes Sona's happiness is eventually hurting her with his rudeness.

Before saying yes to Iswari Sona was councilled by her mother and encouraged. Sona went and sought the acceptance of Bijoy then she moved forward. So if Dev valued his mother's word how could Bijoy taunt Iswari that her son always listens to her! Double standards.

Bijoy is also like Iswari in showing partiality between his children. He always insults Sourav and discourages him.Sona is the apple of his eye. No equal treatment here.

Nice post and immensely relieved . I am not the only one who felt the same way.

Edited by ltelidevara - 8 years ago

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jasw

@jasw

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#30

Nice post esp. the 3 steps! 😃 Absolutely bang on. It was really nice of the CVs to make Dev bond with Sona's family. Although Bijoy will take time! 😊

I somehow did not find Bijoy rude to Ishwari and co. He was rude to Dev, but that is understandable going by what Dev did to his daughter. He was jittery with Asha n Saurabh but they know him inside out so it's kinda ok. With Ishwari family he was not rude but at his sarcastic best, if you know what I mean! 😆 In fact I loved his parting shot to Ishwari when she said Dev will do whatever she says. A father's frustration came to fore but I liked his smiling sarcastic reply.

Bijoy is genuinely worried about his daughter's happiness. Although he has given his affirmation for the marriage, he does not want to rush in, which is understandable. Dixit family is not an easy family to settle in, so his concerns are valid.

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