Easier Said Than Done - Page 3

Originally posted by: randommusings

Thats what I want to project...I havent come across any guy like Dev who on one side blindly follows their parents whims n fancies and on other side fall head over heels with a girl so different than his parent's expectations. In reality, its an either or situation. Guys like Dev who worships their mom, has blind faith in her, nvr go against her wishes will nvr fall for a strong headed girl like Sona...n even if they do, they will break up without so much pain n desperation we currently see in Dev. On other hands, compared to guys, I feel girls have more difficulty to go against their parrents wishes or fight for their love.

Originally posted by: Jade0001

I woud never go against my mum , even if I know she is wrong i'll never question her , so whatever Dev is doing it's real there are many guys that relates easily to Dev's character

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

Affection is a word that cant be used singularly. It always come in unison with another or in a group. In a family we see affection for parents, siblings, cousins...and for family friends too.

Having understood the above let us look at the topic of Kids affection for their parents against affection for their respective life partners.

Are both kinds of affection needed for the child ?? yes, they need parents and they need life partner...can one replace the other - NO !!

So why is that a boy or girl is asked to make a choice when they find a life partner for themselves??( In reality from our younger age we have always been asked to choose betwn family members ) To answer this question, we need to look at certain aspects of culture.

When a child is small and we have guest at home...the first thing they will ask is do you like ur mom or ur dad more??/ or do you like your parents or grandparents more?? And these elders they wait eagerly to hear the answer from the child and rejoice when he/she/they become the chosen one... is it right to rejoice - my answer is NO!! I have found this the most irritating thing that is been asked to a child. To choose among the family members. How can you take a member out of the family and make them more imp. A family is complete with every individual in the family . So why choose??

Its like asking which part of the body can you throw or replace for the other. We need every part to complete the body and to make it fully functional. In the same way every individual in the family is important for the child to grow up and be the man/woman . Each family mem contribute to the development and growth of the child into adulthood.

Now getting back to the Son - Mom - DIL issue.

Boys in India are more like investments because they are going to take care of their parents and responsibility of the house and be the "PROVIDER". And from younger age it is drilled into their brain that their parents have invested a lot on them as they are going to be the back bone and support during parents old age. This ( their parents have invested a lot on them )stays with them and as they grow up they find it difficult to go against parents.

Girls from younger age is taught to sacrifice and adjust . Always drilled into their brain that they need to get married and go to some other house where they need to adjust and sacrifice their needs for the family. Parents knowing this learn to accept that their daughter is going to leave them one day so the acceptance of that truth ( letting free) happens early.

In short boys are made to look like providers and girls as home makers. So when the Son brings a girl home as his life partner, his parents have this thought that they will have to share their son ( and his wealth ) with this new girl who is not even family. Their thought is how could he do this because this new person didn't invest anything on him. Its they who have taken the pain of bringing him up and now there is need to share him and everything abt him !! . Girl will keep quiet because she has been taught to do that (sacrifice and adjust) .

So if we need a change then we need to change. We should bring both boys and girls with a sense of balance. Money is important both should be taught to earn. Adjustments and sacrifices are not meant for women alone . It has to be done by both . Above all as they grow up allow them to take decisions and start taking a back seat when it comes to their choices in life. Once they reach the adulthood Guide them but never decide for them . Then you will see that the percentage of boys and girls learning to stand up for their needs will be more.

Always remember children are given to us to bring them up . So that we can teach them to survive in this world. We shouldn't treat them as investments and hope for a better return of investment later in life.

As far as taking care of old people and people not well at home. It is every ones responsibility in the family not just of sons.

Originally posted by: Push-pull

👏👏 What a post dear.. 👏

Yes, being a parent is something everyone has to work on it with the intention to guide the next generation. And we would even learn to forgive the previous generation for their shortcomings too.. And not punish the younger ones in the name of what our generation had gone through.. 😉

Parenthood is not a power one gets to rule their children as a return gift of them being ruled by someone else.. 😆

"Being Dev" is not in my worry at all.."Being Sona" is my major concern.. 🤔 I feel more for this girl if she chooses her feelings over the realities of her life amidst this mom-son duo.. She's all on her own and shouldn't be portrayed as the bechaari in all this.. Hope they make her voice out if not Dev.. 😉

The whole issue of kids opposing parents or not opposing them for love is entirely Gender biased. The thing is it is expected out of boys to... BE THE MAN... kya kar raha hai yaar... . Be a man... boys Dont cry... . is what is expected of them to incorporate in their behavior. This is why Ishwari always says nothing can move my son... He is a mountain. The fact is society is biased... . If it is expected of girls to be sacrificial... it is also expected of boys to be forever strong and take or make decisions as that will make them THE MAN!! I am yet to hear the same words.. ... Spineless... Cry baby... Etc etc for a woman who has given up her love for her parents wishes... Just because she is unable to go against their wishes.. .. Its always always looked upon like... She did tyaag! She is the most worthy daughter...there must have been a Majboori.. . Why is it so disappointing that a weak male character cannot be shown... Can there not be weak men... Weak emotionally.. .. Weak in front of their parents... Submissive men... There cd be many husbands who r like under thr control of their wives or cater to their every whim and fancy... I wonder if this is considered as love for their wife or once again being spineless since the wife is driving him ! Why is the onus of always always being strong put on men... Thats because we expect it out of them...society expects it out of them. ... This is because we have also grown with the mind set that a man who is in capable of taking decisions or coming out as strong is not a man indeed... He is spineless!! We are not ready to watch the journey of a weak man growing out of his weakness in his life... Just not ready and I find it really sad.
I am quite eager to see how Dev will learn the Art of balance in his life. It is definitely easily said than done.

I agree with you. Most people (me included) do not have the courage (I don't know if it's the right word) to go against their parents wishes. Although I would've like Dev to try o fight for his love at least but I get it to an extent. My problem however is that he doesn't stand up for Sona when his mother ill mouths her. I'm sorry for running the same thing over and over again but Ishwari's speech about Sona suppsedly crossing a line hit a nerve for me. Indirectly, she questioned Sona's character and it was pretty obvious. He didn't need to shout on her. Just a little bit of "nahi Ma, Sona aisi ladki nahi hai" would've been enough for me. I don't want be a hypocrite and ask him to defy his mother, when I never can but I wish he'd at least defend Sona in times like these.

Originally posted by: mayu1982

@ TM - Nice post ..

Yeah I would like to share something very personal- My dad story-

My grandfather died when he was hardly in 30s. My grandmother was illiterate and above with 5 kids to feed it. My dad was only son. All of them started doing job at early age ( from year 10)except my youngest aunt she was too young to do the job. They struggled a lot for basic things- from food,to clothes to everything. Even they used to study under street light.
But their hard work pays off & all of them got success.

My dad fell in love with someone ( don't know the name of the person). When my grandmother came to know she refused the proposal saying she will not fit the family etc etc. My dad has no other option other than to choose my grandmother and eventually got married to my mom.

My dad was very well aware that my grandmother has struggled a lot and was dependent on him. He sacrificed his love I would say but never regret it I would say. Because he shared the story saying never ever regret your decision . Sometimes you made you chose right thing sometimes not but end of the day it is your decision and you should always be proud of it.

Trust me - I have witness myself- My dad and his sister/mother has amazing unique bonding. Their struggled period had brought them so close mentally that you can't even understand the unique bond. My still remember when my dad lost his memory due to blood cot in brain , doctor were asking my sister to shout his name , may be he will hear sometime or someday he will give response to you. But as soon as my youngest aunt came and called my dad he immediately gave response to her and came back to our world.

Although he is not with me today, he was most happiest person I have ever witness.





In short I don't have any complaints from Dev character for choosing Ishwari over Sonakshi . It is say someone - Spineless or whatever bad names you want to say.
But





But that is my personal point of view I understand we are watching fictional serial , and I will be happy to see complete love story . That is reason I want to see Dev to choose Sonakshi over Ishwari.


P.S. This is my POV and but respect different POV😃

True. I find it very realistic too.

Originally posted by: aaliah3108

The whole issue of kids opposing parents or not opposing them for love is entirely Gender biased. The thing is it is expected out of boys to... BE THE MAN... kya kar raha hai yaar... . Be a man... boys Dont cry... . is what is expected of them to incorporate in their behavior. This is why Ishwari always says nothing can move my son... He is a mountain. The fact is society is biased... . If it is expected of girls to be sacrificial... it is also expected of boys to be forever strong and take or make decisions as that will make them THE MAN!! I am yet to hear the same words.. ... Spineless... Cry baby... Etc etc for a woman who has given up her love for her parents wishes... Just because she is unable to go against their wishes.. .. Its always always looked upon like... She did tyaag! She is the most worthy daughter... Why is it so disappointing that a weak male character cannot be shown... Can there not be weak men... Weak emotionally.. .. Weak in front of their parents... Submissive men... There cd be many husbands who r like under thr control of their wives or cater to their every whim and fancy... I wonder if this is considered as love for their wife or once again being spineless since the wife is driving him ! Why is the onus of always always being strong put on men... Thats because we expect it out of them...society expects it out of them. ... This is because we have also grown with the mind set that a man who is in capable of taking decisions or coming out as strong is not a man indeed... He is spineless!! We are not ready to watch the journey of a weak man growing out of his weakness in his life... Just not ready and I find it really sad.
I am quite eager to see how Dev will learn the Art of balance in his life. It is definitely easily said than done.

Originally posted by: saumiee

True. I find it very realistic too.

The things we expect from Dev are easier said than done. Put ourselves in Dev's shoes, someone for whom his mother has been God for the past 28 years of his, is it easy for him to revolt against his mother for his love? Specially when the mother hasn't spoken about the issue directly to him? Even if he has started to realise that the decision taken for his mother. . Is not in his best intrest. . That she is to be blamed, won't he resist the change in mindset about her? Why would he want to break the godly image of his mother in his own eyes, that would mean neither she is the ideal mother. . Nor he is the ideal son.

Ishwari and Dev both resist this change in their relationship. Naturally so.

Plus, I absolutely agree with Ruchi di. . Why is it necessary that the male has to be strong or has to voice his opinions immediately? A male doesn't have a right to be emotionally weak?Sacrifice when a girl does it and spineless when a guy does it.

Dev,Sonakshi and Ishwari's emotions are not one-dimensional. . They have so many layers to it.

Dev's journey to find balance will be gradual and is going to be beautiful😊