Easier Said Than Done - Page 2

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

Actual facts you have put forward. Not many will have the zeal to go against their mothers. Even if they want to they will chose to wait,convince rather than oppose .

Yes. There are love marriages around and inside our family. But none of them happened without the approval. In one such case my cousin waited eight years to get the consent of his mother. But it depends. The girl's parents should cooperate in such cases. Most important the girl should have the patience to wait for such a long time.

In any case it is a rarity I feel where the boy chose to blame or confront or even argue with his mother.

I very well understand Dev's predicament. In the coming Episode he is supposed to blame his mother may be in drunken state. But I am sure he will regret it later. I don't know how the CVs want to show him but I agree with you Dev's behaviour till now is not abnormal.Realistic,like you said.

Nice post .Very much needed at this point of time.

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

Affection is a word that cant be used singularly. It always come in unison with another or in a group. In a family we see affection for parents, siblings, cousins...and for family friends too.

Having understood the above let us look at the topic of Kids affection for their parents against affection for their respective life partners.

Are both kinds of affection needed for the child ?? yes, they need parents and they need life partner...can one replace the other - NO !!

So why is that a boy or girl is asked to make a choice when they find a life partner for themselves??( In reality from our younger age we have always been asked to choose betwn family members ) To answer this question, we need to look at certain aspects of culture.

When a child is small and we have guest at home...the first thing they will ask is do you like ur mom or ur dad more??/ or do you like your parents or grandparents more?? And these elders they wait eagerly to hear the answer from the child and rejoice when he/she/they become the chosen one... is it right to rejoice - my answer is NO!! I have found this the most irritating thing that is been asked to a child. To choose among the family members. How can you take a member out of the family and make them more imp. A family is complete with every individual in the family . So why choose??

Its like asking which part of the body can you throw or replace for the other. We need every part to complete the body and to make it fully functional. In the same way every individual in the family is important for the child to grow up and be the man/woman . Each family mem contribute to the development and growth of the child into adulthood.

Now getting back to the Son - Mom - DIL issue.

Boys in India are more like investments because they are going to take care of their parents and responsibility of the house and be the "PROVIDER". And from younger age it is drilled into their brain that their parents have invested a lot on them as they are going to be the back bone and support during parents old age. This ( their parents have invested a lot on them )stays with them and as they grow up they find it difficult to go against parents.

Girls from younger age is taught to sacrifice and adjust . Always drilled into their brain that they need to get married and go to some other house where they need to adjust and sacrifice their needs for the family. Parents knowing this learn to accept that their daughter is going to leave them one day so the acceptance of that truth ( letting free) happens early.

In short boys are made to look like providers and girls as home makers. So when the Son brings a girl home as his life partner, his parents have this thought that they will have to share their son ( and his wealth ) with this new girl who is not even family. Their thought is how could he do this because this new person didn't invest anything on him. Its they who have taken the pain of bringing him up and now there is need to share him and everything abt him !! . Girl will keep quiet because she has been taught to do that (sacrifice and adjust) .

So if we need a change then we need to change. We should bring both boys and girls with a sense of balance. Money is important both should be taught to earn. Adjustments and sacrifices are not meant for women alone . It has to be done by both . Above all as they grow up allow them to take decisions and start taking a back seat when it comes to their choices in life. Once they reach the adulthood Guide them but never decide for them . Then you will see that the percentage of boys and girls learning to stand up for their needs will be more.

Always remember children are given to us to bring them up . So that we can teach them to survive in this world. We shouldn't treat them as investments and hope for a better return of investment later in life.

As far as taking care of old people and people not well at home. It is every ones responsibility in the family not just of sons.

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

i had to after reading so many posts about what Dev should be doing and not doing.. i then went down to my database to see if how he is shown to behave is the norm or the exception. I was quite shocked at what my analysis came up with , because i was biased by my own self more, the exception, rather than the norm. The figures on the norms were an eye opener for me. It does mean that most of us want escapism in life and want to see what more often does not happen in life. Maybe it is too bitter a pill to accept!

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

the question of more about real life than Dev. if in life a majority of sons do not stand up for themselves, then isn't the serial just reflecting what is largely true in life?

Originally posted by: mayu1982

@ TM - Nice post ..

Yeah I would like to share something very personal- My dad story-

My grandfather died when he was hardly in 30s. My grandmother was illiterate and above with 5 kids to feed it. My dad was only son. All of them started doing job at early age ( from year 10)except my youngest aunt she was too young to do the job. They struggled a lot for basic things- from food,to clothes to everything. Even they used to study under street light.
But their hard work pays off & all of them got success.

My dad fell in love with someone ( don't know the name of the person). When my grandmother came to know she refused the proposal saying she will not fit the family etc etc. My dad has no other option other than to choose my grandmother and eventually got married to my mom.

My dad was very well aware that my grandmother has struggled a lot and was dependent on him. He sacrificed his love I would say but never regret it I would say. Because he shared the story saying never ever regret your decision . Sometimes you made you chose right thing sometimes not but end of the day it is your decision and you should always be proud of it.

Trust me - I have witness myself- My dad and his sister/mother has amazing unique bonding. Their struggled period had brought them so close mentally that you can't even understand the unique bond. My still remember when my dad lost his memory due to blood cot in brain , doctor were asking my sister to shout his name , may be he will hear sometime or someday he will give response to you. But as soon as my youngest aunt came and called my dad he immediately gave response to her and came back to our world.

Although he is not with me today, he was most happiest person I have ever witness.





In short I don't have any complaints from Dev character for choosing Ishwari over Sonakshi . It is say someone - Spineless or whatever bad names you want to say.
But





But that is my personal point of view I understand we are watching fictional serial , and I will be happy to see complete love story . That is reason I want to see Dev to choose Sonakshi over Ishwari.


P.S. This is my POV and but respect different POV😃