Definition of Gender - Page 2

Originally posted by: tia.o

You are right. Both are acting in haste. But my post was not to show Sona as right or wrong. My point is for those posts which said Sona never loved Dev because she is willing to move on. The point is that Dev made his choice when he dumped Sona. Now if Sona decides to marry someone else to please her family, then she has full right to take her decision. Whether the decision was right or wrong that's irrelevant now, only time would tell. What matters more is having the right to make a decision.

oh that i agree..she has total right to decide whatever she wants to do with her life and not really consider Dev while making the decision.

Like I said, Dev never gave her any right to decide whether she wants to break up. If he really respected her, he could have asked her for a solution regarding his mom. May be Sona would have suggested Psychiatrist or she would have suggested for them to be careful and help his mom get over her insanity, who knows? But she never got to decide. When there are two adult, rational people in a relationship, how can one person take decision on both of their behalf?

Now Sona has a choice. Whether she marries someone else to please her family or pine away her life, it's her choice. Provided she is truthful about her past to the prospective groom. And knowing the kind of woman she is, she will be honest with the groom. And again, the groom has a choice to marry Sona knowing she loves someone else or walk away or stay in her life as a friend.

Everyone is giving Sona a choice except Dev and his family.

Even if she goes back to Dev, will she ever have a choice or everything will run at his mom's whim? How would that feel to an independent woman like Sona to be treated like second class family member within her own husband's family where she was treated like equal in hers?

Why should always the woman understand a man's love for his family and the man only considers his family? Did Dev think that by dumping Sona he is also hurting her family who accepted him and came to his house to talk about marriage? No. His world revolves around his mother.

Unfortunately, as long as his mother is the central focus of his life, he can never have a happy relationship with anyone else.

thats the main crux..Dev needs to find a balance and realise that Ishwari's behaviour is not normal

She needs help, professional or otherwise

in the context you have mentioned, agree with everything you said

I completely agree with you. I can understand in that situation when Dev's mother is in hospital he was panic n may be in that situation he took that decision. But after that he didn't realize even once that he hurt sona very badly. He would have go to her place at least to explain his situation n why he did this. About his mother we all know she is a psyco. Dev should have talk to her frankly why she took overdose of medicine. If she doesn't like sona why she lied him.. in this conversation may be he could have get any solution to their problem. I feel he broke down because of himself not for sona. He loves her so much that he cannot live without her.

YAAASSS. I can't believe people are even accusing Sona of wanting to be with Dev for money, really?! And that it's bad that she's moving on for her family, these double standards piss me off so much. Let her do what she wants in her life, who are you to judge?It's sad that people still say such misogynistic and stereotypical things in this day and age.

I agree 100%. I don't want sona to sit and cry for Dev . She deserves much better than what Dev is right now.. Breaking up may have been the only option but he could have discussed it with her and they could have taken a decision together. I want sona to move on and find some one deserving if Dev is just going to sit and cry instead of doing something about it... I will pity him only if he acts on things to show he cares about sona (interfering with her job or her marriage is not the way to do this). He should man up and come say sorry first and I don't want sona to forgive him easily. Dev did wrong for both sona and her family.

If he doesn't take any step I want sona to move on and find someone who can be with her understanding her past and be a partner In life. Love may come later but she should not sit and wait for Dev.

If she moves on I would not call her insensitive or question her love for Dev. We all know her love was true and let's not delude ourselves just beause we love devakshi.

What a fantastic post with true hard hitting words. 👏 Completely agree with you.


Especially this comment of mine is pretty relevant to ur post methinks, so copy pasting it from my post-

I will quote a real incident here - one of my colleagues in office was complaining about his wife and how she tells their problems to her mother. I just asked him do you tell your problems to your parents. He confidently said of course they are my family. Then I said are your wife's parents not her family. Instead came the answer once she is married to me, my family becomes her family and all her loyalty should be towards my family only. This was said by a highly educated professional. That's Indian mentality for you.

TIA!!!

In my POV, In this scenario First Dev should talk his heart out in front of his mom. Asked her some reasonable questions like why she took this drastic step. Now he is neither honest to his mom nor to sona. If he thought just by sacrifice his love he is a great son n solve the problem then he is wrong. If he himself is not happy how he makes his mom happy. Actually i feel normally in this society this hapens.. the main reason to all our problems is lack of communication n assumptions. We assume rather than we talk. Here also the problem is same. Dev assume s n confident that he knows his mom very well n same with Ishwari..

Such a beautiful post. I didn't know this forum is filled with kickass ladies👏👏