Sonakshi ....too good to be true. Has to be more natural. - Page 8

Originally posted by: ...MonaCo...

Posting on IF after ages...

I think the issue here is not that Neha sacrificed but that her sacrifice is not acknowledged. The two younger sisters obviously did not see as much hardship as the rest so they are a bit out of the equation. They also acknowledge Neha did a lot for them, so they respect her and are close to her too. Neha loves them to death.

Neither Ishwari, Dev or Neha are selfish - all had circumstances to care for.

Ishwari had four mouths to feed and her only hope out of this "poverty" was Dev, who was chosen to get the best education etc., so he could grow up and provide for everyone. Ishwari herself made many sacrifices, including working when she was sick etc.

Dev was burdened with earning money as such at a very young age and lost his precious childhood providing "materialistically" for his sisters and mom.

Neha on the other hand was burdened with giving up her studies and raising two younger sisters.

Dev was disadvantaged materialistically but was advantaged emotionally and morally as his mother was always high praise for what he was doing for the family - which he was. He was the "best" son, "best" brother, best everything.

Neha was disadvantaged materialistically , and Dev covered some of her losses (by providing her gola, etc.) but she was more so loosing out on the opportunity to do as well in life as Dev, and was not being praised for her sacrifices.

Parents can be blindly focused on one child (even when the intention is not such), and this is exactly what happened here. Ishwari understands that Neha lost a lot, but never did anything to mend that relationship - which is her flaw. She could have. I get it she is ultra possessive for Dev but her almost nonchalant attitude towards Neha's sacrifices is a bit heart breaking. She never publiclyacknowledges that they are where they are today because all three of them Ishwari, Dev and Neha made a lot of efforts to get there. This is almost like where a housewife who cares for children never gets credit for the success of a husband - but they say behind every successful man is a woman (or vice versa) in this case, it was Neha who was managing things behind the wall when Dev was being propped into being a provider. All that was needed was for Ishwari to keep communication open, and be a friend to Neha, empathize with her and when they got money do something for her future. Instead of giving into her demands like best room, best AC, actually doing something for her future and lost opportunity. Which Dev did to some extent by enrolling her into coaching classes.Sad that this was not a thought that came to anyone's mind on their own. EVERYONE acknowledges they didn't have "enough" but no one recognizes what really pinches Neha.

Now coming to Neha-Ranveer equation, it is true that Neha got into this relationship very well knowing Ranveer's status. But Neha has also specified that her issue is not that Ranveer is poor but that he is not willing to rise from where he is.By taking the job offer, Ranveer has shown Neha that he is willing to put in that effort, but it is a false assurance per se. Poverty does not mean lack of privacy or letting bratty kids sleep in your bedroom. Ranveer may not be able to provide for Neha materialistically but his attitude cannot be "You knew you were marrying a poor man", he needs to understand and atleast try to sort this problem as a team.

Is Neha wrong in asking her brother for comforts? May be yes, may be no. Yes, because like everyone said if her husband is not okay accepting gifts from her family, and it hurts his self respect, then she shouldn't. No, because she has a fair share in their family wealth (it is not Dev's alone, even if he was the one who actually formed the business and ran it). A good solution to this would be for Dev to actually not give fish to Neha when she is hungry but show her how to fish. Give her money, ask her to invest it in a business and form her own life... Build it with love and support from Ranveer. But ofcourse this is a show so we can't expect logical solutions.

Ranveer is a self respecting man, but where he is wrong is that he is expecting Neha to not have any issues with his "poverty" just because she knowingly entered into this relationship. He was the one who initiated this relationship and in that sense, even he willingly accepted her as she is. His self respect wants him to provide fully for Neha on his own, but if he is unable to, and Neha asks things from her brother, is it his self respect which is being hurt or ego?

You see all characters are wrong here, and all have a reason to behave the way they are.

Sona, is a bit of a hypocrite here too, because she comes from a place of self righteousness - she expects Neha to fully mould as per her in-laws desire but her expectation from Dev is that he be a joru ka gulam. I know she does not mean it that way - but the way she is approaching this issue can be slightly different as well, especially when it impacts someone's married life. Hopefully both Dev and Sona will behave rather more maturely in the coming days, as issues like Neha, Gujral and Ishwari's insecurities crop up. Sona is slightly defensive about Ranveer because she herself comes from a middle class family - so she kind of resonates those feelings - but she cannot put herself into Neha's shoes. Sadly, love is not enough - when it comes to living a life together, no matter how rosy and romantic you are. If Dev was not as rich as he is, and couldn't cater to some of her fantasies (like gifting her sarees, etc., and being able to find time for romance instead of dealing with life's realities...) things would have been a bit different for her also. In her fairy tale she has found her prince charming - and she is getting things she never got before... while in Neha's fairy tale she has also found her prince charming but she has to let go of things she got with or after lot of hardships... Both are different perspectives. If anything, someone needs to understand things from Neha's perspective and guide them. The solution, I agree is not to provide her AC, or other things... but she needs empathy, and guidance... which she never truly had even from her own mother.

My 2 cents...

Originally posted by: Zaya.hp

First of all, this is a fantastic post. Thanks for making this.

Yes, they are adjusting and compromising on many characters just to show Sona in a good light. Why do they do this all the time. I felt they've done with Dev as well at a point of time. We, for god's sake, DO NOT want a goody goody person as the lead all the time. When you've promised you'll make the show a realistic one, stick to that. What is the need to make the leads SO good.

We want any more jaganmatas on TV. We've had many already. Please do not make Sonakshi an other one.

Personally, I found Sona stopping Dev from sending gifts to Neha VERY interfering on her part. Girl just get it into your head that YOU ARE STILL NOT A BAHU OF THAT HOUSE. Even if she is, she needn't interere in everything. But in the earlier episodes too it was shon that Sona can be interfering. Maybe it is her flaw which will be corrected with time. But who'll correct her, nobody knows because Dev apparently cannot speak anything on his own these days. Let alone say something wrong to her or pointing out her flaws.

The characters are butchered to a terrible extent! There is no import in them anymore. The teo matured souls Soankshi Bose and Dev Dixit were murdered long back.

Sonakshi Bose was shown to be a practical girl. And I didn't expect her to intefere so much into things she has no right totalk about. She can never empathize with Neha.

Sonakshi was an inspiration to me. Seeing her like this makes want to bang my head on the wall. I don't know where they are going. They need to STOP making the leads JAGNMATAS!

And don't get me started on that tattoo thing. It is so unlike Dev and Sonakshi.

But I like how they are shaping Neha's characterization. I have no complaints.

Originally posted by: AshVarna

Brilliant take on the whole issue👏

Had to say your 2 cents are more than two and I cherished reading 😃

@ Red - Your are bang on with Sonakshi

Originally posted by: fanktlk

@ ...MonaCo...

Brilliantly put!! hands down the best analysis I have read in a long time.

👏👏

Originally posted by: Jade0001

For me its simple if a girl marries then first and foremost she needs to communicate with her husband ask if he is comfortable with her getting help or gifts from her family if indeed he is comfortable with that then there is no problem but if he wants to take that responsibility and care and provide for his wife then she should allow him to do so .

Neha knew that Ranveer is not rich guy yet she felt he is the only guy that would love her for herself so now she needs to do everything that will make her marriage work and she needs to understand that her life now has changed .