FF: That Moment AGAIN UPDATED!! Pg 13 - Page 5

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Amrtina thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#41
It's an Awesome ff
Please continue soon 👏
RaindropsNRoses thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#42
awesome ff...
read all the parts in one go...
the updates were so fabulous...
just loved them to the core...
ur language is just marvellous ...
u describe the feelings of the leads so beautifully...
full of love n beauty...
do continue soon...
sharmi1265 thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#43
Do write more .. Love to read ur OS. Plz do continue ''
LilyPotter thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#44
A Huge Thank You 😃, to sneharay, Sakkiyah, AngelsFlyAlone, juthie_j, diksha0102, cherrynicolem, Amrtina, Nimarious and sharmi1265 for sharing your thoughts, opinons, and suggestions.
It made me confident as to what I should do and I hope you'll like the next chapter, which I'll be updating right about now!😳
LilyPotter thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#45

Holla, everyone!😛 As a result of unanimous approval, I have decided to go along with the second option. 😊 So, without any further delay, I present to you:

Chapter 3

Dev sighed to himself, his brow knotting in thought as he strode over to his room. He hadn't felt this uncomfortable in his entire life!

True, he was naturally of a quiet disposition, and a somewhat reserved nature. But, to his credit, never had he earlier ran away, no matter the situation. Then why did he do so now? Not to his surprise, he was unable to answer.

He remembered the vision she had looked in that sari. At his first glimpse, the words: like a summer breeze, had passed his mind before he could stop the thought.

He recalled the fire in her eyes as she walked towards him. He had felt confused then; nevertheless, he was sure her anger wasn't directed at him. For what had he done to warrant her anger?

He had apologized, hadn't he, for keeping her till late. He knew her forgiveness had been sincere. He didn't realize he had been staring at her and wouldn't have, if it wasn't for her returning his gaze. He had immediately averted his gaze.

He had noticed her tripping as she finally reached him. Without thinking, he had rushed to her help, his hands catching hold of hers to prevent her fall. He had felt something then, what, he didn't know. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

She had looked up at him then. Unable to help himself, he had let her see all that he was feeling right then- his appreciation and gratitude for all that she had done for his family, his admiration for not only her appearance but for the true beauty of her soul. He had let her see it all in his eyes, willing her to understand. Alas, it was not to be, however. It was done, the moment broken.

Her curt tone as she thanked him had startled him, and he flinched. He had been about to ask her the reason, but before he could get out a word, Mr. Roy began to speak.

When Mr. Roy had complimented, if it could even be called that, Sona he had to bite back a retort. Regardless, his heart continued to scream- She doesn't look pretty, she is beautiful.

Her sister's reply echoed his thoughts, as she turned towards him. For some reason, he couldn't bear the thought of her thinking that he thought her ugly and so, he schooled his face to look indifferent as he replied, yes, please excuse me.

He didn't look at her as he left the room in a hurry.

Now, here he was, pacing in his room, yet again unable to stop himself from thinking about her.

What was she doing now? Was she sitting across Mr. Roy, a smile on her face as she blushed at his attentions and compliments? He ground his teeth at the thought. Blast it! He had to know right now, and nothing would stop him. He would hide himself, watch her from afar and no one need ever be the wiser. Yes, he decided, that's exactly what he would do.

But why? He was just concerned for his well-being, as he would be for any other employee of his, he assured himself.

He grinned as he picked his car keys, his pace picking as he readied himself to play the role of Jaggu Jasoos for an evening.

Did you'll like it?😊 Hate it? Or Love it?😃 For those of you getting impatient, I promise you'll quite a bit of action in the next chapter.😉 What do you believe is going to happen? And remember, the more you review and like, the sooner I'll update.begging_praying.gif

Now, stop 😆, begin by pressing the like button 😛 and start ...

we_have_winner.gif

REVIEWING!

LilyPotter thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: juthie_j

Loved it 👍🏼😃


yay.gif... was my reaction.
thankyou_wave.gif...is my sophisticated response. 😆
diksha0102 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#47
Loved it.
Good going.
Btw, you are definitely improving your writing skills with each chapters.. this one had a more fluid flow to it in my opinion.
Beautifully written.
milinda.shreyz thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#48
Hello Lily !
Discovered this gem just now and read all 3 updates at a go. Wow! We have a real writer on the block now.
Welcome sweetheart! This is exactly what I was waiting for...subtle changes the protagonists are going through now in their way of perceiving each other, that first jolt of electricity when their hands accidentally grabbed each other, the confused restlessness Dev was feeling since Mrs Bose''s birthday...everything that could have been shown as the continuation of those poignant scenes,u completed them brilliantly. Actually since last week story has picked up pace and they are leaving more for viewers imagination. ...most of those beautiful moments begged for m9re...
I am glad now that cvs had less time and patience , we have got a more competent person to paint them more endearingly with lovely words.
Darling, you are doing a great job. And it would be an honor to read and review your story. Waiting for the next update.
Luv,
Shreya.
Edited by milinda.shreyz - 9 years ago
milinda.shreyz thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#49
And yeah, I love your narrative technique..like the internal thoughts of the main characters are revealed in alternate updates as the story progresses.
You know, you are tempting me to write something here, but I should resist this time...I have a bad habit of leaving stories unfinished...anyway, I want you finish up the ff as beautifully as you have begun. Haww, look at me, Saadi hui nehi, bidai ke baat sochney laagi. Lol ! Anyway, it is a pleasure meeting you (through your work) and I would love to have a real conversation someday when you come online and have this limitations of postmaking waived. Woes of a newbie..I feel for you re, even if you want you can't post a reply.all of us faced once.
Ok, chalo...I think I have spammed your thread enough...see you soon (hopefully with a new update )

Sakkiyah thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#50
My friend,
First of all sorry for my late reply.
The update was awesome.
You beautifully portrayed the feelings of dev.
He was lost in her thoughts.
He didn't realized that he started to love her.
But I think soon he will realize it.
And he was jealous about Roy.
Thanks for the pm
Waiting for your next update

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