Posted:
(seriously ticked off just now with this forum 'cause it killed my first attempt at posting my bt,lt. argh! doing it again!!!! argh!)
got a lovely surprise when i got home after a really tiring day at school (the mean prof scorned every single class project and has asked for "better attempts of imagination if not penmanship" 😔). my mad cousins from singapore are here! a surprise visit -- sister 1 plotted with sister 2 to lift mom's spirits. sweet, na? (and they've brought the kids. guess who's gonna be sleeping on the floor over the weekend? sigh.) what this means, of course, is that i have no hope of writing the bt,lt peacefully today -- they are hanging over my shoulder to make sure that i don't say anything "wrong about prem". *indignant* do i ever write anything "wrong about prem"???? *ouch! that got me a pinch! ouch! and another!...*
* little thing: after heer took care to pick up prem's dupatta-thingie, what happened to it today??!! i want to know!
* heer thing: heer can run fast in a sari as well as in a salwar! this girl has been named well! (isn't the hindi word for "deer" hiran, or something? no? 😆)
* heer thing: as pushy as always with prem.... gosh, how she was bullying him!? and as always, gosh, does she get through to him! heer... who is pure of heart, and so certainly didn't deserve the -
* prem's slap thing: 'kay, i guess everyone here knows i abhor violence. even though there was a warning in that prem-fist tightening at his side, i was comfortable, thinking that it's prem, for crying out loud. even at his most angry, he didn't even slap prashant (just tried to strangle him with his own collar..😆).
so i was shocked out of my mind when prem's hand flew out to hit heer. and in the seconds after, i saw that was just the beginning of prem's desire to hurt heer. he was lashing at her - every single thing after that was just one more manifestation of his intent to hurt heer. prem is violent with only one person on earth, and that is heer. he is violently in love with her. he has violent passions for her. and when he hurts her, he is violent about that as well. and yet... that action - a slap across her face! - was just ... not on.
*shut up! this is my bt,lt! my cousins poking me in objection.*
that action... prem. hit. heer.
writing that, even now, it feels like the strangest thing on earth. and no matter, how much i can see a certain inevitability of the action, there is still no justification i can come up with it. here's really what ended up bothering me after i thought and thought 'bout it. that it was a slap. and that it was only one slap. (you weren't expecting that were you?).
i know this was out-of-control prem. i thought he was going to get physically violent. when heer grabbed prem and tried to shake him, the most natural thing would actually have been to push heer away. and then, because that would have focussed him on her, he would've kept pushing and pushing, while shouting at her. until they came to the cliff edge and the final push would've made her fall.
(btw, that was heart-stoppingly done! i swear - from the slap onwards, i was continuously flinching. but when she slipped... my heart was in my mouth. i felt the shock we see on prem's face in my bones, the shock that tells us that he has just been jerked back to being in control, that prem has come back to us. i felt it, i tell you. seriously - i hate how this show has me hooked... )
but instead of pushing her or something, prem slaps heer on her face. i've always detested that action of violence. your face is your identity, your personality. hitting someone on the arm, or on the bum, or something is so much less.. of a personal affront than with a slap on the face. why? why?? i don't think i can forgive prem, my poor-violently-passionate-about-heer prem, for having slapped her.
*silence from my little gang -- acceptance on this one thing.*
* prem thing: in-control prem doesn't know about out-of-control prem. which, btw, i was fiercely glad for. we get at least that little consistency about prem and his violence towards heer - he had been in extreme distress. when he has his heer safely away from the cliff's edge and back in his arms, it's like it's the first time that he sees where he is, where they have come. it's like he really doesn't have a clue! (which makes me wonder: when he was stalking away from the world, in his blind rage, was he headed towards the cliff's edge to do himself some bodily harm??)
btw, i loved how shaken both of them were. they were literally shivering at their close call, both of them, clutching each other in desperation. the intention was superb. the acting was lovely. i just sooo badly wish these two had a better editing team to put the final product out better. 😔 'cause that bad editing was something that kept standing up and waving "yoo-hoo!" at me from prem's story of sanjana to heer. 😡
* (college-) prem thing: it was hilarious!!! that entire sequence startled me into fits of giggles.
*ouch. another pinch. no, m, college prem was not cute! he looked like today's prem wearing t-shirts and stooopid college bling things. a handkerchief tied on one of his jean legs??!! c'mon!!! how dorky can you get??! *
i thought the most funny parts of college prem were:
- he still has his stubble!!! bwahahahahahahah! sorry, that was stooopid. shaving it off would have been such an easy way to make our prem look younger, but they didn't do it. stoooooopid directors.
- er... this college is in canada? where temperatures are low pretty much most of the year? and we have mug shots of foreigners whose faces are shiny with sweat because they were standing in a studio in bombay!! - bwahahahahahahahha! the least they could've done was packed their faces with makeup so as to kill the shine! bwaaaaaaaa....hahahahahahahahha! that was soooooo stooooopid!
(so miss vibha today - particularly since she is a canadian!! boo hoo!)
- lastly, ever seen someone play the guitar with ... er... one finger??! i was 🤣 at the sight of prem's right-hand pinkie sticking out delicately while ...uh... "jamming" with the guys. like he was having tea with the queen or something. and at least, prem had his left finger moves done well - that girl was totally howlarious playing the guitar while (mffffmfmffmff!) jamming!!! bwahahahahhahahahahahahaha..!!!
*someone help me! not even my cousins pinches are helping!!!*
* prem thing: but i must say, i loved how he started his narrative "even as a child, i believed that god made people in pairs (we know, darling. same way heer got her belief - 'cause of brain-washing moms...) and i knew that somewhere out there, you were there for me." 😍 so, when you've been waiting for so long for your love, does that build up and build up so that when you finally meet, what you get is the prem-heer kind of violent, passionate love? or is that violent passionate love just a prem-heer thing? hmmm....😍
(er, one thing though. is it just me, or does it always sound funny when the word "suicide" is used on these shows? i mean, even hc said "suicide" in that weird, hindi-show way. what's difficult about saying "suicide" properly? it's like they're saying "sooside". 🤣)
* prem thing: honest prem -- when goopy, bratty sanjana confesses her love, he is forthright enough to be startled. and to tell her to her face that he no-can-do, 'cause he's "taken". prem!!! 😍 and so like prem, some girl is too weak to take honesty as honesty and refuses to carry on with her life, and he thinks even that is his responsibility! poor guy. i bet he has been wary of girls ever since then. (pause) but then, that makes his instant reaction to heer something else altogether, doesn't it? prem! 😍 (who. hit. his heer. 😡)
* prem thing: poor prem was so tired. he has been carrying this guilt from his days of college??? through to today? how many years has it been?? damn that evil brother-in-law for having dredged this up at this time!! 😡 why couldn't he have done this bloomin' noble act years ago?? stooooopid guy.... 'cause it nearly made me cry to see how prem is tired from the burden of the guilt. so tired that he even begins to wonder how long it will take for his heer and him to fully understand each other. so fully that they will never hurt each other ever again. poor prem.
although, i must say: prem's always been a great one to turn "my mistake" to "our mistake" whenever he's with heer, isn't he? even the last time, when it had been his fault ("get evidence before you accuse someone") he managed to make it "i didn't trust you, and you didn't tell me". this time too..! very smart guy to know that heer will always let him get away with it. i guess this is the stuff that actually might be helping him be a smart enough business man to make profits for the juneja's? 😆
* heer thing: heer can now stand up and say claim "mein bhagwan nehi hoon" liar status. what a brilliant thought to share with prem - something that he just can't refute. all he can do is look at her and hug her close. "from the beginning, just as you were made for me, i was made for you. if you have a burden, then i have the same burden. if you turned her away, then i was responsible for it, as much as you were responsible for it. if the guilt of her death falls on you, because of your link to me, then that guilt falls on me as well. if you feel hurt, then i feel hurt too. from today, we get a new beginning. there is no past that we do not know. there is no sorry." heer!!! 😍😍😍
y'know? i used to feel just a leeetle irritated during the beginning of this serial: when prem was the one doing all the hard work of winning heer, while heer was being stubborn and silly and trying to run away from him. i used to wonder when we would see heer pay prem back in the same coin. and now... sigh, can you tell that i'm really happy that the girls-side of the force is in action? 😆
edit add
comments in blue are inserts courtesy my cousins who insisted on monitoring my writing the bt,lt today.
edit end
edit 2 add
this bt,lt was so long that if.com refused to let me post it as one piece! i mean, do you really think that i missed that last segment??!!! 😲
the second part of the bt,lt is continued in the following post. 😆
edit 2 add
got a lovely surprise when i got home after a really tiring day at school (the mean prof scorned every single class project and has asked for "better attempts of imagination if not penmanship" 😔). my mad cousins from singapore are here! a surprise visit -- sister 1 plotted with sister 2 to lift mom's spirits. sweet, na? (and they've brought the kids. guess who's gonna be sleeping on the floor over the weekend? sigh.) what this means, of course, is that i have no hope of writing the bt,lt peacefully today -- they are hanging over my shoulder to make sure that i don't say anything "wrong about prem". *indignant* do i ever write anything "wrong about prem"???? *ouch! that got me a pinch! ouch! and another!...*
* little thing: after heer took care to pick up prem's dupatta-thingie, what happened to it today??!! i want to know!
* heer thing: heer can run fast in a sari as well as in a salwar! this girl has been named well! (isn't the hindi word for "deer" hiran, or something? no? 😆)
* heer thing: as pushy as always with prem.... gosh, how she was bullying him!? and as always, gosh, does she get through to him! heer... who is pure of heart, and so certainly didn't deserve the -
* prem's slap thing: 'kay, i guess everyone here knows i abhor violence. even though there was a warning in that prem-fist tightening at his side, i was comfortable, thinking that it's prem, for crying out loud. even at his most angry, he didn't even slap prashant (just tried to strangle him with his own collar..😆).
so i was shocked out of my mind when prem's hand flew out to hit heer. and in the seconds after, i saw that was just the beginning of prem's desire to hurt heer. he was lashing at her - every single thing after that was just one more manifestation of his intent to hurt heer. prem is violent with only one person on earth, and that is heer. he is violently in love with her. he has violent passions for her. and when he hurts her, he is violent about that as well. and yet... that action - a slap across her face! - was just ... not on.
*shut up! this is my bt,lt! my cousins poking me in objection.*
that action... prem. hit. heer.
writing that, even now, it feels like the strangest thing on earth. and no matter, how much i can see a certain inevitability of the action, there is still no justification i can come up with it. here's really what ended up bothering me after i thought and thought 'bout it. that it was a slap. and that it was only one slap. (you weren't expecting that were you?).
i know this was out-of-control prem. i thought he was going to get physically violent. when heer grabbed prem and tried to shake him, the most natural thing would actually have been to push heer away. and then, because that would have focussed him on her, he would've kept pushing and pushing, while shouting at her. until they came to the cliff edge and the final push would've made her fall.
(btw, that was heart-stoppingly done! i swear - from the slap onwards, i was continuously flinching. but when she slipped... my heart was in my mouth. i felt the shock we see on prem's face in my bones, the shock that tells us that he has just been jerked back to being in control, that prem has come back to us. i felt it, i tell you. seriously - i hate how this show has me hooked... )
but instead of pushing her or something, prem slaps heer on her face. i've always detested that action of violence. your face is your identity, your personality. hitting someone on the arm, or on the bum, or something is so much less.. of a personal affront than with a slap on the face. why? why?? i don't think i can forgive prem, my poor-violently-passionate-about-heer prem, for having slapped her.
*silence from my little gang -- acceptance on this one thing.*
* prem thing: in-control prem doesn't know about out-of-control prem. which, btw, i was fiercely glad for. we get at least that little consistency about prem and his violence towards heer - he had been in extreme distress. when he has his heer safely away from the cliff's edge and back in his arms, it's like it's the first time that he sees where he is, where they have come. it's like he really doesn't have a clue! (which makes me wonder: when he was stalking away from the world, in his blind rage, was he headed towards the cliff's edge to do himself some bodily harm??)
btw, i loved how shaken both of them were. they were literally shivering at their close call, both of them, clutching each other in desperation. the intention was superb. the acting was lovely. i just sooo badly wish these two had a better editing team to put the final product out better. 😔 'cause that bad editing was something that kept standing up and waving "yoo-hoo!" at me from prem's story of sanjana to heer. 😡
* (college-) prem thing: it was hilarious!!! that entire sequence startled me into fits of giggles.
*ouch. another pinch. no, m, college prem was not cute! he looked like today's prem wearing t-shirts and stooopid college bling things. a handkerchief tied on one of his jean legs??!! c'mon!!! how dorky can you get??! *
i thought the most funny parts of college prem were:
- he still has his stubble!!! bwahahahahahahah! sorry, that was stooopid. shaving it off would have been such an easy way to make our prem look younger, but they didn't do it. stoooooopid directors.
- er... this college is in canada? where temperatures are low pretty much most of the year? and we have mug shots of foreigners whose faces are shiny with sweat because they were standing in a studio in bombay!! - bwahahahahahahahha! the least they could've done was packed their faces with makeup so as to kill the shine! bwaaaaaaaa....hahahahahahahahha! that was soooooo stooooopid!
(so miss vibha today - particularly since she is a canadian!! boo hoo!)
- lastly, ever seen someone play the guitar with ... er... one finger??! i was 🤣 at the sight of prem's right-hand pinkie sticking out delicately while ...uh... "jamming" with the guys. like he was having tea with the queen or something. and at least, prem had his left finger moves done well - that girl was totally howlarious playing the guitar while (mffffmfmffmff!) jamming!!! bwahahahahhahahahahahahaha..!!!
*someone help me! not even my cousins pinches are helping!!!*
* prem thing: but i must say, i loved how he started his narrative "even as a child, i believed that god made people in pairs (we know, darling. same way heer got her belief - 'cause of brain-washing moms...) and i knew that somewhere out there, you were there for me." 😍 so, when you've been waiting for so long for your love, does that build up and build up so that when you finally meet, what you get is the prem-heer kind of violent, passionate love? or is that violent passionate love just a prem-heer thing? hmmm....😍
(er, one thing though. is it just me, or does it always sound funny when the word "suicide" is used on these shows? i mean, even hc said "suicide" in that weird, hindi-show way. what's difficult about saying "suicide" properly? it's like they're saying "sooside". 🤣)
* prem thing: honest prem -- when goopy, bratty sanjana confesses her love, he is forthright enough to be startled. and to tell her to her face that he no-can-do, 'cause he's "taken". prem!!! 😍 and so like prem, some girl is too weak to take honesty as honesty and refuses to carry on with her life, and he thinks even that is his responsibility! poor guy. i bet he has been wary of girls ever since then. (pause) but then, that makes his instant reaction to heer something else altogether, doesn't it? prem! 😍 (who. hit. his heer. 😡)
* prem thing: poor prem was so tired. he has been carrying this guilt from his days of college??? through to today? how many years has it been?? damn that evil brother-in-law for having dredged this up at this time!! 😡 why couldn't he have done this bloomin' noble act years ago?? stooooopid guy.... 'cause it nearly made me cry to see how prem is tired from the burden of the guilt. so tired that he even begins to wonder how long it will take for his heer and him to fully understand each other. so fully that they will never hurt each other ever again. poor prem.
although, i must say: prem's always been a great one to turn "my mistake" to "our mistake" whenever he's with heer, isn't he? even the last time, when it had been his fault ("get evidence before you accuse someone") he managed to make it "i didn't trust you, and you didn't tell me". this time too..! very smart guy to know that heer will always let him get away with it. i guess this is the stuff that actually might be helping him be a smart enough business man to make profits for the juneja's? 😆
* heer thing: heer can now stand up and say claim "mein bhagwan nehi hoon" liar status. what a brilliant thought to share with prem - something that he just can't refute. all he can do is look at her and hug her close. "from the beginning, just as you were made for me, i was made for you. if you have a burden, then i have the same burden. if you turned her away, then i was responsible for it, as much as you were responsible for it. if the guilt of her death falls on you, because of your link to me, then that guilt falls on me as well. if you feel hurt, then i feel hurt too. from today, we get a new beginning. there is no past that we do not know. there is no sorry." heer!!! 😍😍😍
y'know? i used to feel just a leeetle irritated during the beginning of this serial: when prem was the one doing all the hard work of winning heer, while heer was being stubborn and silly and trying to run away from him. i used to wonder when we would see heer pay prem back in the same coin. and now... sigh, can you tell that i'm really happy that the girls-side of the force is in action? 😆
edit add
comments in blue are inserts courtesy my cousins who insisted on monitoring my writing the bt,lt today.
edit end
edit 2 add
this bt,lt was so long that if.com refused to let me post it as one piece! i mean, do you really think that i missed that last segment??!!! 😲
the second part of the bt,lt is continued in the following post. 😆
edit 2 add
Book Talk
Anupamaa
