What a fab performance by Ram!!

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armaandeewani

@armaandeewani

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#481

Originally posted by: Piscean

I've met several otherwise very nice guys who had this very issue...they had no idea what it meant to actually communicate (heck my cousin is like this). Sure everyday chatter is one thing but like in all relationships (siblings, parents, etc.) it is also just as important to be able to sit down and talk seriously...that is where they just had no idea how to. While some women are bad at this too it is primarily men who really seem to lack in this department.
Edited by armaandeewani - 19 years ago

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Piscean

@Piscean

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#482

Originally posted by: aditee
I am not suggesting all married women/men shud cheat if spouse is not receptive or "available"

But it just highlights the lack of CONTACT between the two emotional or physical........ Either the one who experiences the void is not able to reach thru despite decalring bluntly 😕 or the other person is too selfish to even glance the victim

I suppose it's one way of seeking attention. Anyways I guess it's the fault of the dynamics of the relationship if there is a lack of contact between two people in a relationship and unless both of them work towards solving it, there won't be any progress made.

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Aditi S

@aditee

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 19 years ago

#483

AD, Pi

Hope you do find that special some one soon 😛
Mine was an arranged marriage..... and I had my fantasies too but JW IS JUST NOT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD, OR HE DIDNT EXIST IN THE 1990's DELHI 😭

We can again blame M&B for cooking up these ideas in our brains, ivy league educated, good looking bhi chahiye, rich bhi, sexy bhi, smart bhi, (speaks fluent English, this was my first condition:-)..........

When we pick the guy we either "think" we got it all or some happy medium 😛

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armaandeewani

@armaandeewani

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#484

Originally posted by: Piscean
Oh I plan on enjoying my single-status well for as long as I can at least! 😉

As do I!!!!!

Edited by armaandeewani - 19 years ago

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armaandeewani

@armaandeewani

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#485

Originally posted by: Piscean

Guess there's more than you thought....well we don't have to entirely change him but we can def add a few things 😉

What changes did u want in particular?

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Aditi S

@aditee

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 19 years ago

#486

AD
I totally agree Indian marriages, be it love or arranged does not place ANY emphasis on talking......... the couples just go with the flow, as long as there is no crisis. Crisi about the emotional quotient is rare, I mean mostly its MIL problems, or kids studies or money......... Indian marriages/couples talking about how one feels about the other or how often they shud be having sex etc is UNHEARD OF.....

American shaadiyon mein maine dekha hai, in fact desis will often make fun of this by saying "Honey we need to talk!"

Indian couples I know of and am close to ( I dont know the 1 billion 😆 ) not one has ever told me they "talk"........... thats a perfect recipe for drifting apart over the yrs. That Oprah show last week just reinforced the fact that even gora marriages are like that

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armaandeewani

@armaandeewani

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#487

Originally posted by: Piscean

That's very true...abhi toh we can shanti se enjoy w/out any concerns of having hubby roll his eyes or make fun of my eye-candy or anything of the sort.

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Piscean

@Piscean

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#488

Originally posted by: armaandeewani

I've met several otherwise very nice guys who had this very issue...they had no idea what it meant to actually communicate (heck my cousin is like this). Sure everyday chatter is one thing but like in all relationships (siblings, parents, etc.) it is also just as important to be able to sit down and talk seriously...that is where they just had no idea how to. While some women are bad at this too it is primarily men who really seem to lack in this department.

You are right AD....primarily it is men who seem to lack in this department but there are women who def lack the skill as well. I guess personally I've been a very communicative person and so is my family in general and so automatically the friends I made were of similar mentality. So fortunately for myself I haven't had to face that situation but I do know people in that situation and feel terribly for them. I can't imagine not being able to communicate with anyone at all let alone someone I care for!

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Aditi S

@aditee

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 19 years ago

#489

The root cause cud be..... men are so much less talkative and expressive in general.......... na woh khud kuch kehte hain na hi woh 10 mins se zyaada kisi ki sun na chahte hain 😉

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armaandeewani

@armaandeewani

Inactive

Posted: 19 years ago

#490

Originally posted by: aditee
AD, Pi

Hope you do find that special some one soon 😛
Mine was an arranged marriage..... and I had my fantasies too but JW IS JUST NOT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD, OR HE DIDNT EXIST IN THE 1990's DELHI 😭

We can again blame M&B for cooking up these ideas in our brains, ivy league educated, good looking bhi chahiye, rich bhi, sexy bhi, smart bhi, (speaks fluent English, this was my first condition:-)..........

When we pick the guy we either "think" we got it all or some happy medium 😛

I think this is why I don't ever see myself married...because this is the ideal guy...and he doesn't exist. And I refuse to settle for less...my parents know I am far too stubborn to argue w/for long. So as sad as it sounds na mile toh koi baat nahi...zindagi bhaar will have to make do w/such eye-candy. Btw I am completely w/u on the 'speak English' bit...a friend of mine is on shaadi.com...I shortlist half of the guys lol cuz they can't spell or write gramatically correct...wat a turn off. She thinks I'm too harsh 😆 ...

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What a fab performance by Ram!! - Page 49

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