She was Nandini Moorthy and she just didn't do it.
She'd rather help her friends achieve their happy ever afters than go out looking for hers. She didn't keep a lookout for prospective future boyfriends in hopes for finding the one who'd complete her and make her life have sense. Before she didn't have time for such thoughts. Between her science and music lessons and caring for her brother, noticing boys was always the least of her worries. Now, she didn't have the energy. Between her college life and constantly facing various troubles and caring for her brother, being lost in the glamorous life of S.P.A.C.E was something she didn't even fathom.
Nandini Moorthy did not just do it.
"Which means, I've lost my mind."
"Nandu, you act so crazy sometimes. What's wrong with a bit of intimacy?!"
She sighed and slammed her head on the table before looking up at her laptop screen which showed her childhood friend paying more attention to her cuticles than Nandini's helpless pout.
"It's stupid! I just don't do it yaar...that's not me!"
"Just because it wasn't 'you' in these 18 years of your life, doesn't mean it was never going to be."
More sighing.
"Who died and made you the smart one?"
"No one died..but I have been dating for the past four years, unlike you. Which offiicially makes me the smart one in this topic."
"Exactly! You're the dating kind! I'm the Science girl-"
"No. You're the girl who tricks two people into meeting in dark forests in the hopes of capturing the fireflies. 'True love makes the fireflies glow' and whatever..'
"But it does! You've seen it na!"
"Haan tou they might glow for you and that Monster guy...try tou kar."
"NO! He's Monster Manik! Fireflies are wasted on him!"
"Doesn't change the fact that you want to kiss him."
"URGH!!"
She buried her face in her hands and grumbled. She tried hard to summon the rage she felt whenever she thought of Monster Manik and his atrocious actions. The rage came but it soon transformed into something else, something she'd been battling for many days. Something which made her feel so un-Nandini like.
"Nandu, listen. It's completely normal to want to hold hands and kiss the guy you like."
"I don't like him." The denial couldn't even convince her own self.
"But you keep thinking about him. About his big hands and tall height and sexy jawline.."
She groaned but didn't say anything and just stared at the screen.
"Okay, you don't like him. You are definitely not thinking ke he will make your jar of fireflies light up. That's your argument for not pursuing him. Okay, maan lete hain. But that doesn't change the fact that you've noticed sparks flying whenever he's close to you, right?"
She nodded, albeit reluctantly.
"Tou forget the glow of the fireflies and work on this spark. It's a classic example of wanting something but getting tired of it once you get it. Konsa you want to have sex with him? It's just one kiss. Kiss him and and you'd get over with. It's not like you haven't done that before. And besides, he owes it to you after all his horrible actions."
Nandini Moorthy didn't pay attention to such hormonal, carnal advices like these.
Nandini couldn't stop thinking about her friend's advice over the next few days.
She saw him, his tall glorious self, around the college all the time. Their eyes met across the corridors so many times but he kept his distance from her. She would've loved that before. She hated it now. She couldn't stop herself from longing for moments where he would pin her to the wall in his rage and get close, so close that she could feel his breath on her lips. She wanted that only for the sole reason of closing the distance and feeling his lips again.
Part of her, the logical part, chastised her for these thoughts. She felt herself torn between the part which was being controlled by these raging hormones and the part which the brain still ruled. He was all kinds of bad, wrong, off limits, NO. She wanted all of it.
She was two steps away from being legit crazy.
But years of logic seemed to be winning over weeks of illogical hormoes. She calmed herself down enough to not consciously search for his sight. She distracted herself with Navya and NH3 and studies and Rishabh and yeah, all was well. And it would have gone well till the end had Nandini Moorthy not done the thing she just didn't do.
The media storage room in S.P.A.C.E was at the end of an uncrowded corridor. One had to cross that corridor if they wanted a shortcut to the library. Naturally, Nandini used to go by there a lot. She usually never met anyone she knew there. She never thought that she would meet anyone there. Least of all him.
When she saw him get out of the storage room, she stopped in her tracks. He did the same but it was only for a second. He looked away and moved to walk past her. He would've walked past her easily had her hand not moved and held his. It was just a small movement, of her arm moving back and reaching out for his hand. Her grasp was light, he could've easily freed himself with a little tug.
He didn't.
She stood there, with her hand holding his and her back turned to him. It still wasn't too late. She could've let go and he would've walked away after calling her stupid or dumb or trouble or variation of such words; nothing she hadn't heard before. Things would've gone back to normal then. But there, all she could think about was her friend's words.
"Classic example of wanting something but getting tired of it once you get it."
Knowing her, she might get tired of it before she even got it. What the heck? No tax on trying.
She moved her hand on his so the little grasp became a firm hold. He hadn't moved an inch so she took small steps back and stood in front of him. Her eyes were fixed on the hand she was holding. It was the same hand which used to manhandle her, the one she had bandaged, the one she had held for support. Her fingers trailed the skin of his hand before putting her palm against his'. Her hand was so small compared to his. He had always been so much bigger than her but standing there, with inches separating them, he seemed bigger than usual.
When she looked up, she saw him looking straight at her. She couldn't read the expression on his face. She couldn't have even if she wanted to. The sparks flying around her had dazed her. She was being controlled by her hands which were only reaching out to touch him.
Her fingers entwined with his in a firm hold as her other hand reached out to trail a finger down his cheek. She had once commented to her friend that Manik's jawline looked so sharp, it could cut through things. Touching it now, she realized how right she was. She half wanted to check her finger for any signs of bleeding but that would mean looking away from him and that she didn't want to do.
Her lips tingled in anticipation as they remembered the brief sensation they had felt when they had first tasted his lips. Holding his hand tighter, she pulled herself up on her tiptoes to try to match him in his height. She was still shorter than him but at least he was within close reach now. He leaned down a bit and touched his forehead with hers', an action which caused excited shivers to run down her spine. Her eyes fluttered as she made the distance shorter. His hot breath was mingling with hers, exciting her. Her heart thundered against her chest and in her ears, urging her to not waste another second.
Nandini obliged.
The first contact, the mere touching of their lips, seemed to set her on fire. She kissed him, brief and short. She thought that'd be it, having almost no experience in the kissing department, that was as far as she could go. But her lips simply refused to pull away. They molded themselves against his', moving and tasting new sensations, wanting more and more. She felt his arm around her waist and literally felt the earth escape beneath her feet. He had her dangling in the air with his one arm only. This show of manly macho strength weirdly wanted her to kiss him more.
And that very thought made her pull away.
She looked at him, shocked at the way she had reacted. It was supposed to be something physical and detached, just one impulsive act to calm her crazy desires which only wanted one taste of him. This had turned out to be too intimate. Intimacy demanded personal feelings. And she did not have any feelings for him.
Why couldn't she ever say that with some conviction?
She let go of his hand and he put her down on the ground. With the reality of the situation sinking in, she just wanted to escape from there. Stepping back, she put the socially acceptable distance between them and fiddled with the strands of her hair on her face. Doing so made her brush her fingers accidentally against her lips and she physically felt the sensation she was feeling. She chanced one look at him and mercifully, he was not looking at her. Had he been doing so, she might've pulled him in for some more.
"I have to go to the library.."
Stupid words to say but she had to say something. Thankfully she wasn't an idiot enough to wait for his reaction and rushed away from there, not daring but wanting to look back at him. She didn't stop walking till she was safe in the crowd of strangers, trying her best to look normal as to not give away what had just happened.
This is why she didn't do it, take others' advice much. She did what she thought the best. Because other people's advice never gave the best result to her. Proof? What she was feeling right in the moment. Her friend had promised, she'd get over it. But she couldn't. All she could think about was more, more, more.
Nandini Moorthy did not just do intimate like that.
Nandini Moorthy couldn't wait to do it more.
-x-
(sequel to be posted soon)
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
