TINA PARAKH-VIKRAM HAZRA
[24 Jan 2008]
"WE WENT TO ASK HIM WHICH WAS A GOOD DATE FOR THE ENGAGEMENT. HALF-AN-HOUR LATER WE CAME OUT ENGAGED!"
You don't need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride on each other's waves. One meeting with television actress Tina Parakh Hazra and her husband Vikram Hazra and this saying holds true. A dynamic twosome, they are a shining example of the phrase opposites attract.
Perhaps it's their contrasting personas and the implausible understanding they share that gives their marriage that extra 'spark'. Blissfully married, they endorse a common way of living life – the Art of Living. Showtime catches up with this vibrant pair for an interview as they give their gyan on careers, family life and mastering the art of living.
Acting was the last thing on Tina's mind, who was shy and an introvert. Though wanting to build a career in marketing and PR, Tina happened to audition for a commercial and got selected. After realizing that it was fun to act, she started doing ads and acted in a few random episodic serials. She started her career with shows like Dollar Bahu and Hip Hip Hurray. But her first big break came with Khichdi, which put her in the spotlight for her portrayal of Melissa. Thereafter came Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and Tina became a household name with Shruti's character.
On the other hand, Vikram, spiritual guide, teacher and programmer associated with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's Art of Living (AoL), was once a journalist. He filed a story on the AoL but his curiosity got the better of him. He inquired about it and did the course. Today he has learned the skill to mesmerise hundreds of people with his melodious bhajans.
Perhaps predestined to meet, Vikram and Tina share their experience and talk of their first meeting. "It's been a happy confluence. We had a lot of common friends. Tina had been practicing the AoL for more than four years. Surprisingly she had no AoL interaction with me nor had she attended a course with me. Till the last month I had never seen her serials.
I just knew she was an actress as I had seen her in passing. So we knew each other only as human beings. There was a basic connect between us from day one. Before we knew it, we were the best of friends," says the suave Vikram. They got married and set up theirhouse. The kind of dating and wooing that should ideally have taken place before marriage, happened after it."Now the romance phase has begun," he says.
There wasn't any courtship period before their marriage. "Luckily we were spared all those gory details. A lot of people fall in love and have a very starry-eyed notion about life. And when it comes to the practicalities of being together like sustaining a relationship, setting up a house and functioning together, they realise it's really hard work. But with us, it was the other way around. The comfort level was completely taken care of. Now we can be very relaxed."
Tina narrates her version of the story. "I met Vikram almost four years back. I was already a part of the organization and used to follow Guruji (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar). I had gone to one of his satsangs, where one of his friends came to me and asked me to introduce Vikram to the audience. It was the first time I heard one of his gatherings and I met him then for hardly two minutes.
While introducing him on stage, I really fumbled up. After that, while I was listening to him, I felt that he was married. I thought then 'Wow, here is such a nice guy; I wish he wasn't married.' Later I sent him a text message saying that he was really nice and that I was sorry I goofed up during the introduction." But Tina's assumption was wrong, as Vikram was a bachelor.
It was their first meeting of the many more that followed. "Vikram used to travel quite a bit. So whenever he would be in Mumbai, he would message about meeting up. But that was not possible because of our contrasting work schedules.
This went on for almost two years. Till the time we realised we had common friends. One day all of us were supposed to go for dinner. But our friends couldn't turn up. So in the end, it was only the both of us who landed up having dinner!" says Tina. One thing led to another and they often found themselves having a cup of coffee or watching movies together.
Vikram left for Singapore and they kept in touch via telephone. "One fine day I realised that we really were talking a lot to each other," reveals Tina, while Vikram adds in jest, "It was cheaper to marry her than talk to her on the phone." It didn't help that Vikram was trying to hook Tina up with another friend. "It so happened that in the process of this whole thing, we started liking each other," she adds tenderly.
Since they weren't sure of their feelings completely and didn't want to ruin what could have been a beautiful friendship, the couple decided to visit Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and ask for his advice. When they asked him what they should do, he blessed them that they would get married within the coming six months.
Obviously staggered by his prophecy, Tina recollects their reaction to the whole episode. "I was so shocked when we came out. I had not spoken to my parents and knowing the 'rock star' image that Vikram has in the AoL, I knew a million hearts would be broken.
By the time we walked out of Guruji's room, half the ashram already knew we were getting married within six months; it was that quick. So I was really scared. I told Vikram that I had to speak to my parents before someone else told them. He instantly called up his parents and told them that we were getting hooked and they were more than happy. The problem was with me; I didn't know how I was going to put it across to my family! They didn't even know what exactly Vikram did nor did they have any idea of how popular he was."
Tina went back home, sat up all night in her room and literally mugged up the narration that Vikram gave her of whatever he did. She waited till morning and told the first person who woke up about him, which happened to be her brother. Recollects Tina, "I told my brother, 'You know what bhai, I like this guy, and Guruji says we should get married."
Vikram was then introduced to her brother and sister-in-law who simply loved him. "My sister was very scared and when my mother came to know, she was absolutely against it. She told me I had to get married into a typical business family." It was Tina's brother who came to her rescue and convinced her reluctant parents.
It seems they were leading lives straight out of a Bollywood potboiler. Tina and Vikram had gone on their first official date, when they had to hastily return home, as Tina's mother came to know about Vikram.
"My brother called me when we were having dinner and told me 'Mom is hitting the roof. Come back home.' We had to drop everything and rush back home. When I reached home, my mother had totally freaked out and my father was on the neutral side. It was around four in the morning that the decision came. They told me that I was going to get married to Vikram and that he was to come home to meet them the next day," recalls Tina.
As decided, the next day Vikram met her family. "The first thing he did was touch my mother's feet and ask 'Kaisi ho maa?' That's it; my mom instantly fell in love with him," says Tina as she remembers that nostalgic moment.
Theirs was practically an arranged marriage and the only difference was that they knew each other before the vows were taken. But as Tina says, they didn't know each other enough to call it a love marriage.
I question them about their secret engagement ceremony and get an interesting account from the duo. "It was so secret that even we didn't know about it," jokes Vikram. "My family is very close to Guruji but Tina's family had not met him. So we wanted to introduce them and bring both the families together and take blessings. We went to ask him which was a good date for the engagement.
Half-an-hour later we came out engaged!" Obviously, they were flabbergasted and followed the rituals that Guruji told them to do. "We came out wearing two garlands each and people thought we were married!" Like any traditional Indian girl, for Tina too, marriage was a very important and sacred ceremony. But Vikram, on the other hand, was quite embarrassed by the entire event.
Tina is all in awe of her husband as throughout this family saga, he held his cool. "Vikram was so chilled out even then. He would tell me, 'Guruji told us we will get married. I am telling you we will get married.' And I would get mad at him! My parents were saying no and this guy was chilled, which irritated me even more," she recollects. "That's usually the case with Vikram.
He is super calm, while I get hyper and make up for the both of us. I get agitated when things aren't right and he remains more composed than he should. I guess we are a balance for each other," says Tina while Vikram quips in, "We both are perfectionists!" Though they are diametrically opposite in their temperament, this couple gets along very well. They are making ends meet by arriving at a neutral point.
It doesn't matter if they are from different castes. Tina elaborates, "He's not a true blue Bengali as he doesn't eat non-vegetarian food. He is a Bong, who is more of a Tamilian Brahmin and would like to be a Japanese. So it's not difficult. Also Vikram has travelled the world.
He has so many experiences that you can't quote one to adjust with because every day is new. I do not come from a very typical Marwari family since I have been born and brought up in Mumbai. My bhabhi is a Punjabi and my sister is married to a Gujarati, so we don't have any rigid culture. Hence it wasn't really difficult, except for his food habits."
She dwells further on that, "I am a street food junkie. I live to eat, and eat a lot of spices. Vikram, on the other hand, can't handle a drop of spice. He likes to eat sushi and go to all these exotic restaurants and eat food that I have never heard of. So now, after marriage, I have learned to be a bit more polished and he has become street kinds!" says Tina and Vikram proves her point, "I ate my first vada pav and dabeli after our wedding."
Ask Vikram what he thinks of Tina the actress and he lists down his observations. "I haven't had enough exposure to it, but there are two things that I must mention. Tina has a very distinctive style. I think she is one of the pioneers on the soap scene, who is more understated and not very loud. She packs all her emotions into one expression.
This subtlety in presentation at the level of daily soaps is commendable and the credit goes to her to a great extent. The second is something, which not many people know about her. She has an incredible capacity to learn. She is a brilliant student. So whenever she does a shoot, she learns something. She knows a lot about make-up, lighting, camera angles and sound recording; all this out of curiosity." Tina too echoes similar words of praise, "Vikram is fabulous."
Talking about careers, apart from travelling across the globe for his satsangs, Vikram is now seen on television on 9X's Good Morning Zindagi, where he gives expert advice on spirituality. Tina on the other hand, is taking it easy. "At this point of time, what I am genuinely looking at and working hard on is doing different work. I think that everybody has acting potential. I have done this and now its time for me to move on. I need to prove to myself what I am capable of. I really want to do different work."
And what does she mean by 'different work'? "It could be a travel show, lifestyle show or even a weekly serial. I love cooking and so it could be a cookery show. So right now I am really taking my time off, grooming myself, getting back in shape and getting ready to take the plunge into something completely diverse," says Tina, even as she munches on some diet food. Does it suggest her ouster from the daily soap scenario? "Yes. I am out of Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki. I just shot an episode for Jamegi Jodi. Com on 9X. But that's it."
A conscious decision to not appear in serials, Tina believes that she wants people to know that she is looking forward to experiment. "It's time people came to know that I have quit. They need to know that I have the time and the willingness to do something new." Hubby Vikram is also supportive of her decision and plans his work commitments such that their holidays coincide.
Doing something new would also include acting in films and Tina is not averse to the idea. "I would love to do what a Rani (Mukerji) or a Konkana (Sen) does. I want to work in their kind of films. It's not typical commercial cinema, but there is a lot to do, a lot to learn from and a lot of scope to grow. You can mould into various characters. That's what I want to do as an actor."
She gives an interesting example, "You should be like a potato. It is one vegetable that can blend with everything. And there is nobody who doesn't love it. It's a rarity. One percent of people might not like it and we should ignore that one percent."
As for Vikram, he is happy continuing with the Art of Living, as Tina puts in, "He loves it and I am very happy for that. I have found one soul, who comes back home with the same smile, energy and the zeal for life. He goes everyday to work with that attitude. There were times when I was jealous of him, and I used to wonder 'How can he be so happy every moment?' Now that I travel with him I have realised that only very few people, who are lucky, gifted and blessed can do the work he does."
Marriage has changed Tina's attitude and all for the better. "Before I met Vikram I was so agitated. Now I am so content in life. When people ask me what is this Art of Living, I ask them 'Did you know me four years back?' I was an absolute pessimist then. If I bagged two ads out of three, I would crib about the third ad I didn't bag. It's changed me completely. It's brought about so much of peace within me. The process of AoL has taught me to value what I have and to overlook what I don't," she says.
Living with Vikram, Tina has learnt to adopt his qualities of being observant and patient. "There are times when I come back to being my own self, which is being very blunt and rude, but otherwise I have become a much softer and compassionate person. All thanks to him," says Tina dotingly.
They talk passionately about the dreams and ambitions they nurture ahead in life. "A really big house, lots of money so that when we need to do Guruji's work, we don't have to wait for anybody to help us out. So much that we don't have to ask anyone and between the two of us, we can do it.
And so much power in terms of an actor, that when I tell somebody this (referring to the AoL) is the best way to live life, they will take me for real!" says the chirpy actress laughingly. Vikram tells his plan of action. "I owe it to myself to enrich my life by learning as much as I can from Guruji, hands on. I want to be one of those few who are able to actually get a first hand experience. I also want to be in a position, where I can be one of the people who can help to carry forward his legacy."
And what about starting a family? "We ourselves need a lot of caring and looking after. We are very spoilt. And we have no intention of improving so soon," jokes Vikram before signing off. Tina and Vikram may have been married for more than eight months now, but clearly for them, the celebrations have just begun!
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