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Chapter Five, I Don't Know
My head lay in my mother's lap as we talked.
"You know your fathers found a groom for you," she said while lightly patting my head. "He's perfect for you."
"He must be if you chose him" I replied, maybe I should move on. It's been years and he's probably forgotten me already. If my parents chose him he must be ideal for me.
"I'm sure you'll be happy with him"
"Excuse me my queen but princess Sukanya wishes to speak to you" said a dasie from the doorway of the balcony.
"Tell her I am coming"
"Yes my queen" and with that the dasis rushed out of the doorway and into the hall.
"I'll be back in a second Jodha" said mother, before waking out.
I looked out to the sky to see the sun rising, a memory flooded my mind
*flash back*
"Is not"
"Is too"
"Is not"
"When will you admit I am right?"
"Never!" Once I uttered that I realized my mistake.
A slight smirk crossed Jahan's (Jalal's) face "So you wouldn't admit it, but you know I am?"
I lightly pushed him "shut up, you know what I meant"
"Owww" he said rubbing his arm on the spot I hit him "your so violent" his fake hurt face disappeared and was replaced with a wide smirk . "my arm hurts so bad, but it would feel better if you kissed it"
I let out a little laugh "I guess it's gonna keep hurting then"
"Your so mean, how can a nice person like myself" he point to himself "be friends with a mean person like you?"
"The world may never know" I said while lightly sucking my kulfi and rocking my legs back and forth from the ledge I was siting on.
"I only hang out with you because you buy me food" he said while side glancing at me with a slight smile, he'd already finished his kulfi and tried many times to steal mine.
"And you call yourself the nice one"
"What I a-" I cut him off my clamping my hand on his mouth, electricity short though me as soon as I touched him. I tried not to let it show what what happening.
"If you keep talking we're gonna miss the sunrise" I said pointing to the sky, where you could see a tiny orange ray of sunlight.
"Got it" he metaphorically zipped up his mouth and locked it shut.
*flashback ends*
I smiled at the memory, him and I loved climbing up the fence on the outskirts of the fair and watching the sunrise. I remember the first time I climbed the wall and I almost fell and Jahan (Jalal) gave me a ten minute lecture on asking for help when i need it and how to properly climb a wall.
"What were you thinking?!" I heard the scream echo through the halls
"I did what I thought I was best!" I moved closer to the sounds to find Sukanya screaming at my mother.
"Mother why don't you understand! Marrying her off won't magically make her Johda again!" Sukanya said on the top of her lungs, I moved closer to the edge of the doorway so they wouldn't see me.
"What else I am I suppose to to" mother replied as she started to tear up "I've tried everything, this is the only thing left" mother sat on a chair while she held her tears in, something I was quite experienced in.
Sukanya calmed down a bit and sat next to her, she placed her hand on my mothers shoulder "I know for a fact that this marriage will only bring her pain"
"More pain than what she is in now?"
"Much more"
They didn't talk for a moment, it was pin drop silent.
"What should we do?"
"I don't know"
Jala Pov
"If this girl only gives you pain why do you still love her?"
"I can't stop loving her," I looked up to the clouds before continuing "I've tried but never been able to succeed"
"Are you happy that you haven't"
"I don't know"
"Do you think she remembers you?" "I highly doubt it, I was just a short chapter in her life that passed"
"But a chapter none the less, not a page"
"What are you trying to say?"
"You underestimate your importance, I bet this girl loves you just as strongly as you love her"
"Please don't" I said looking directly at her "please don't make me think about that what if's, please don't bring my hopes up to smash them again, it's taken me forever to get to the stage of acceptance I am at. Please don't ruin it."
"I was just try to give you another view on this situation"
I turned away from her in a slight anger.
"In your views all is good and love always works out, we don't always end up happily married to the love of our life. Some if us have to comprise, we can't all be you"
"I understand your pain king, but if you trust the strength of your love enough it will bring you together."
"That only happens in books, not in real life"
"It happened to me" she said with a tiny smile. At a young age she had fallen deeply in love with a ministers son, who love her just as much back. They would both sneak out in the dead of the night and meet each other, on one of these nights he fell and hit his head quite hard. He had lost all memory of Rukaiya, but he fell in love with her again before regaining his memory. He gathered his courage and asked her father for her hand, they were wed exactly two months after.
"We can't all have your luck"
"Not luck, love and you have a most devoted and trusting love. All you need is a little faith." She stopped talking for a second and smiled "something which you do not have a lot of"
"I can't help it that I was raised not to believe in faith"
"Everything is not set in stone, you can change your views on it if you wish to. You need to be more open to the unexpected and unknown"
"I am"
"Sure you are" Rukaiya said with a smile
Those three words brought back millions of memories, each one of only a single girl, Punandavati (Jodha)
*Flashback*
"Punandavati (Jodha) look!" I said trying not to fall "you're missing out"
She looked at me from the corner of her eye, trying to conceal that she was indeed looking.
I was difficultly balancing on the fence we would always climb
She ran up to me and told me to get down.
"No"
"Why?"
"I won't come down until you say your not mad at me anymore"
"Ok I am not mad, now can you please get down?"
"Say it with more emotion"
"Seriously?"
"Yup"
"Fine" she signed "Jahan (Jalal) i am not mad at you, now please come down"
"Ok" I said with a smile, I looked around for the stool I used to get up on the fence. I couldn't find it.
"Punandavati (Jodha) do you see a stool anywhere"
"No" she said looking around "why?"
"I um, need it to get down"
She laughed, her laugh sounded like tinkling bells.
"I didn't really think this out" I said while scratching my neck.
"You don't say" she said in between her laughter.
"Hey!" I said flailing my arms around, trying to stop myself from falling "I am a genius"
"Sure you are" she said with her gorgeous smile.
*End of Flashback *
"I'd like to meet this girl you always think about" said Rukaiya , breaking my train of thoughts.
"I bet you'd be friends"
"Would we?" She asked while raising one of her eye brows.
"Very likely" I said while smiling "you know you remind me of her"
"How?" She asked
"I cant describe how" I said trying to collect my thoughts "you just do"
"I remember you telling me that we are completely different"
"You are," I stopped "you're exactly the same but completely different" I looked up to see Rukaiya giving me a confused look "it's hard to explain"
"Do you ever think you'll ever stop loving her?" She asked
"I don't know"
Sorry if it took me awhile to write this, i was busy because me sister was giving birth and we didn't expect it this early. The baby is perfectly fine and I am a aunt :) this chapter is mostly just a filler. This chapter is dedicated to the awesome Annarichard, for making my day with her amazing message. Please comment and like, it'd mean a lot to me. could you please comment saying your favourite chapter or part or anything?
If you want a pm for the next chapter please like this one.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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