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"Hello hi bye bye, this weddingwa is too muchiya! Did you see how that Mrs. Mittal shoved her gold necklace on my facewa? Fine will speak later! You go and do your businesswa, as if you have time for yours missus." Manorama growled affectionately at her husband.
"Ah, home sweet home." Manorama smiled as she walked into Akash's penthouse. But she halted in her tracks, her smile freezing as she noticed her son slouched over the bar. Manorama nearly ran towards Akash, fearing a terrible relapse of his addiction.
"Akas bitwa..." She jumped back as Akash swiveled in the chair, his eyes red and drugged. Cupping his cheek tenderly, Manorama panicked "Bitwa are you fine? Why are you near this alcohol? Is there any trouble... bitwa answer me!"
Stumbling on his legs, a drunk Akash laughed his heart out. "Maa! You actually c... care about me? But am I not just your poster boy?" Pausing to turn point at himself, Akash continued "Akash Singh Raizada! He's up for sale, hai na? Sell this boy to another rich household and get a famous daughter in law for exchange." She clutched her hand near her chest as Akash staggered towards her.
"I have loved you more than anything Maa, more than anything. But what did I get in return? Hatred?" Akash hiccuped and leaned against the edge of the counter while Manorama shook her head. "No bitwa, I do lov..."
"SHUT UP! Dd... don't lie. If you actually love me, you would have loved my wife and my unborn baby. Arrey what type of a mother are you to destroy my only family!" Akash screamed, throwing bottles all around.
Guilt seeped in Manorama's veins as Akash swayed, his eyes puffy from crying. In an attempt to calm him down, Akash chuckled and pushed her aside "It's because I'm not your son... right?"
Manorama stiffened, her eyes widening in shock "Enough! What rubbish bitwa? I have always treated you like my own baby." "THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" Akash yelled, throwing his hands in the air.
Looking into Manorama's eyes he continued "You treated me like your own son, not as your own son. Arnav bhai treats me like his own brother, giving a very obvious preference to Di."
Fidgeting with a thread from his shirt, he gave a teary smile to a distraught Manorama "You know Maa what hurts the most... the fact that I am his own blood, his own brother."
"This color doesn't look bad on you..." He whispered, his fingers tugging impatiently at the purple sari. Arnav's smile dimmed as Khushi replied with a lost hmm. Sitting up, he stared as Khushi blinked into reality, her eyes resting on him for a few fond seconds.
"Thank you..." She meekly responded, shyly covering her bare shoulder with the edge of her sari. "Khushi are you fine?" Khushi melted at her husband's concern, so silly she was to think he didn't care! How did it matter if people in the party were someone who mingled with her husband as if they were old friends and treated the wife like an outsider? They weren't important people, Arnav was.
Shaking her head, she snuggled into her husband as he stiffened for an awkward moment then placed a caring hand on her head. "It's nothing Arnav ji." She whispered against his chest, hating herself for lying to him. Arnav's caress came to a halt as he tilted her face to see her glistening eyes. "What's wrong Khushi?" Biting her lower lip, Khushi sighed "I don't think I belong in your social world. It seems strange and I feel..." Khushi looked up as Arnav laughed slightly.
"It's a very different world Khushi, you don't have to know them. And then they're of a different standard. So don't bother your pretty little head about them." Khushi pouted at his reply and poked his chest. "But you belong with them! If you can belong with them then I should be able to do as well."
"Baby, we are from different worlds and there are some places where we can never meet." Arnav explained while a disappointed Khushi lowered her head back on to his chest, humming in reply. Her husband was usually right but if only he could... Khushi closed her eyes and allowed herself to be distracted as he drew soothing circles on her back.
"You ok?" He asked, several minutes later. "Hmm... I don't want to, as in... I just want to hug you." She asked, watching at the growing tenderness in his eyes. "Don't hesitate to tell me anything, especially if you don't want to do it." He flashed a rare smile and closed his eyes briefly as he wound an arm around her waist.
How was he able to do this? No other man could hurt yet love her at the same time with the sole exception of Arnav Singh Raizada.
"Tell me." Khushi breathed out, holding the phone to her ear after hours of constant ringing.
"Khushi... I..." Arnav started but found himself at a loss of words.
"Hmm." She softly encouraged while courage failed Arnav. It was all there, the sweetness of her voice, the softness underlying the understanding. But he felt the distance between them, so much that he feared if he could ever walk through that.
"Sorry..." he mumbled. "Don't be." She snapped.
Khushi's grip grew tighter as she heard him simply breathe from the other end. A mirthless smile grew on her lips as she imagined her insufferable husband trying to piece out a few words. "Come back."
"I can't."
"Why the f**k can't you come back! What have I done now Khushi? You could have spoken with me... tried to handle the situation but what did you do? You chose to run away." Arnav yelled in desperation while Khushi shivered with each accusation.
Crouching against the wall, she sniveled slightly, waiting for him to complete his rant. "I'm sorry Arnavji. It was never your fault. I had simply expected a companion out of you."
Arnav closed his eyes, "Khushi, I..."
"I would have spoken, only if you were there next to me." Khushi blinked through a few tears and continued "And I haven't run away. Cause if I had, you would have never been able to find me."
"You cheater! Next time I'll run away so fast that you won't be able to catch me!" Khushi glared at her husband for drawing a moustache on her face and pretended to walk away when he yanked her towards himself.
"How dare you!" He whispered, his breath fanning over her face.
Yet the pain had been unmistakable in his eyes, the tears almost glistening. Khushi's heart broke at his torn face and cupped his bristly cheeks, "I was just jok..."
"It wasn't funny Khushi!" He barked, his words laced with desperation more than anger.
Arnav wound his arm tighter around his wife, his eyes fluttering shut as she kissed his eyes. A soft sigh of content left his mouth as her lips lingered on the shell of his ear.
"I am sorry Arnavji, I promise to be next to you." She snuggled into his arms while Arnav breathed himself to calm.
"Hamesha?" He asked.
"Hamesha..." She replied.
"You promised me Khushi... you promised me a forever." Arnav whispered while Khushi shut her eyes, recalling the moment. "You had yelled at me, that me dying in your arms was not funny. Asked me to move forward with you to only call me as the biggest mistake of your li..."
"KHUSHI I NEVER MEANT THAT DAMN IT! For how many more days will you hold that against me!" Arnav barked while Khushi found her resolve breaking.
"I never held anything against you... but you don't understand, do you!" A lone tear slipped out of Khushi's eyes as she tried to muffle her sobs in her hand.
Tired, Arnav leaned against a recliner and closed his eyes. His heart hurt on hearing Khushi cry. Why... why must they have so many problems? Couldn't they just avoid all the issues and simply be the way meant to be. His eyes flashed open as he heard her sobs. The words, assurances and love were just at the tip of his tongue yet they never found a way to his wife. He simply stood silent, hearing his wife cry.
Pausing to collect herself, an exhausted Khushi wiped her tears against the sleeve of her kurti. Even now, her husband could say nothing to stop her tears. In fact, he never had.
"It's not that I don't love you, I do. Running away from you was never an option but Arnavji, if you end up breaking my heart one more time... I won't be able to survive it." Arnav stiffened, his heart missing a beat. No, he hadn't broken her heart... never.
During Diwali, right after their almost kiss, he had stopped and broken her dreams because he didn't want a wonderful girl like her to fall for a monster like him. Every word that he had said broke him from within. A selfish part of him had valiantly wished to whisk away the dazzling beauty in red and make her his, forever, but he couldn't ruin his dear Khushi for a man like him.
And the night of his tumulous marriage, he was confused and heartbroken. Yes, he could have believed the odds that an angel like Khushi would betray him than see his sister's house getting burned to ashes. Or that both his and his sister's hearts were betrayed. Arnav could never be the only happy one with his sister dying from that man's hand. They both had to suffer.
Arnav had always meant to say that he was a mistake in her life, but he said the other... always. It hadn't even taken him months or days to realize his folly. But when he had returned, he was late, wasn't he? How could he have stopped his wife without playing the trump card of her sister's safe marriage? Apart from this, Khushi never heard him.
"Khushi..." He started, suddenly feeling much older than he was. "Guarantee me that you won't hurt me again." Khushi waited with bated breath, waiting for his answer. Arnav closed his eyes in defeat, somewhere down the line even he knew that he could never promise her a complete world of happiness. So sickeningly twisted that he was.
Gulping slightly, he whispered the few words which bound him to her.
"I love you." Khushi stiffened, her eyes widening once again. In spite of having broken down into pieces, a large chunk of her heart defiantly throbbed against her ribs. So hard that it almost hurt. Her mouth dried and she found herself at a loss of words. "Arnavji..." Arnav smiled ruefully at the little emotion in her voice, giving him a flicker of hope.
"I love you too, but... can I ask you one thing?"
"Anything Khushi, anything." Arnav sighed in relief, knowing that his Khushi was still a part of him.
"Have you ever hurt me knowingly, even after everything?" Khushi blurted out, her hand curling near her chest. Her final insecurity was out. Shyam, Sheetal... none of them mattered. She needed to know if there was still a part of her husband who hurt her, knowing that it would hurt.
The last throbbing part of her heart hardened as the line cut from the other end.
Arnav looked at his phone, his own face twisted in pain as he canceled the call.
How could he answer his wife without breaking her heart?
"FU**!" He yelled, throwing his phone away. In spite of having achieved perfection for years, today his life was nothing short of a mess. Arnav had asked, cried, screamed and even yelled but nothing gave him answers.
Standing up on his wobbly knees, he looked at himself before the mirror. Touching his reflection, he frowned.
If ASR had broken her, how could Arnav repair her?
If ASR had threatened her, how could Arnav save her?
Closing his eyes for a few seconds, Arnav felt every memory flood before his eyes. His heart hammered against his chest, blood pounded in his heart and heat flashed through his body. Every single time the Arnav in him had touched his Khushi, it was ASR who felt it.
Every single time Arnav had done small things for Khushi, it was ASR who waited for her response.
Khushi might have loved the Arnav in him, but it was ASR who had fallen for her.
Racking his hands through his hair, Arnav smiled at the familiar glint in his eyes. He would beg, plead, redeem and work his way through bringing back the happiness that meant her name. But under any circumstances he wasn't going to let her go, cause ASR got what he needed.
Always.
Jhanak
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
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