arshi ff: without you... #2, chapters 14 - 27 **completed**

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#81

Originally posted by: IssPKaur
Arre Wah! Mubarak ho Mubarak ho⭐️⭐️
Naya thread with nayi images...CRACKLING opening shots!! Love them...great stuff Indus!!
Still to read the new chapter...bet it's worth the wait...soon!
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Indus, i'm back and i'm speechless. Just read the most riveting writing from you, or anyone else, about these characters. This was a stunning update...i have two favorites so far...as in updates in this story... but this really surpasses everything. I loved every word and every moment in it. Uff. You are a star my dearest!

And before you palat and say you are still NOT a writer, kindly read your own opening quote for this update. The most wonderful thing about life is that our book of transformations is expanding all the time...chapters and layers are being added constantly. The most inspiring thought for me, that is! Thank you for beginning my day with that thought...and do acceptiya humara love and respect for your ever-on-the-move-forward writing abilities. New chapters are being added literally and figuratively! The feeling there, and the palpability, is just kamaal!👏

PS: Also apologies for posting sooo late! Head is a muddle, too much going on...but reading your piece has been divine intervention...should've come sooner! Thanks again!

huma hoon acceptiyaing. thank you, my dear issk.

this chapter did not come easy. a lot of hiccups, rewrites, disconnection, deadness along the way. all i knew is that shyam had to be reached, that gun had to be addressed, a trigger pulled.

if one is very down or feeling hemmed in, dead jaded whatever, i think they should start writing a story... oh the way it brings you to new thought, new exciting moments, dusts off the jaded feeling, absorbs and pulls you in, like a moron you lie awake at night thinking exactly what does that house in shantiniketan look like and is there a guard at the gate, if so, how will asr approach the chap, will he get out of the car? but it's raining, and it's asr... then something inside you says, are you stupid? go get a life... is this what you think of seriously? and you say, hah, i had such a good time doing that, better than anything money can buy or the world outside can bestow... a tumble with one's imagination... delightful,

i am so glad you liked the chapter... i wondered what you might say... means much to me that you say it's the best till now.

discovered kunitz by myself in this online wonderland... i love his words, his sensibilities, man was a fabulous gardener too... i still haven't figured out exactly what the layers means or refers to, but it feels like my feelings. glad it helped ya.

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Cadence_12

@Cadence_12

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#82

this time was determined not to read in a hurry...finally today, sat down with my afternoon tea and the update 😳

you are making all my speculations and dreams about the original come true! the shyam connection to ASR's past...oh how much I wanted that.. and not him to be just a greedy for money man and even better, Khushi's parents connection to Arnav...somewhere for me, it connects with Arnav never wanting to see Khushi's tears.. i dunno a karmic sort of connection.

and thanks for keeping your promise indi di! ASR's shatir dimaag didn't go into coma at all ever. 🤗

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#83

hi rashmi,

thanks so much... oh i like that tears of khushi and karmic connection thing. i at one point thought they were doing a sins of fathers kind of thing, where each and every wrong thing his dad did was somehow made right by asr's action with another set of people... he had no idea there was that element but the viewer could see it.

but of course, there's was not a quest to tell an excellent tale... just make money, if possible. i feel they badgered the writers so much, whatever idea they had, just died and their talent just felt messed up and delivered nonsense.

ok i still have no idea who shyam is... but there is some connection, some knowledge... he may still be just made that way and no deep underlying anger brings him here... i am still looking for his story.

what makes me go nuts is a production house blithely saying "the story has run its course," when the more i write, the more i know there was still enough stuff here to last a couple of years...

glad you enjoyed. hope tea was good. 😳 see ya.

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#84

Originally posted by: indi52

huma hoon acceptiyaing. thank you, my dear issk.

this chapter did not come easy. a lot of hiccups, rewrites, disconnection, deadness along the way. all i knew is that shyam had to be reached, that gun had to be addressed, a trigger pulled.

if one is very down or feeling hemmed in, dead jaded whatever, i think they should start writing a story... oh the way it brings you to new thought, new exciting moments, dusts off the jaded feeling, absorbs and pulls you in, like a moron you lie awake at night thinking exactly what does that house in shantiniketan look like and is there a guard at the gate, if so, how will asr approach the chap, will he get out of the car? but it's raining, and it's asr... then something inside you says, are you stupid? go get a life... is this what you think of seriously? and you say, hah, i had such a good time doing that, better than anything money can buy or the world outside can bestow... a tumble with one's imagination... delightful,

i am so glad you liked the chapter... i wondered what you might say... means much to me that you say it's the best till now.

discovered kunitz by myself in this online wonderland... i love his words, his sensibilities, man was a fabulous gardener too... i still haven't figured out exactly what the layers means or refers to, but it feels like my feelings. glad it helped ya.

A tumble with one's imagination - what a wonderful sounding activity! Please continue... It's getting more and more fun to read! It's hard for me to pick up things from this chapter and say this is what i particularly enjoyed. I enjoyed it all... the beginning with the ball and Rahim Chacha was lovely...a unique place to begin, that balcony, and lead into the parents...👏. And the ending was simply superb. I read "Khushi, i'm a simple man..." and i had to get tears out of the way to read the last line... Gorgeous👏... and the thought that he might soon head to sheesh mahal with her is something i can't wait for!!

Everything in the middle...it had me gripped! The words and the feelings they brought...I love it when every word creates some feeling and i'm still able to enjoy the beauty of that word itsel... That's when it truly makes music to my senses. And i felt that way reading this update! Ok... i better stop... before you start saying this is "not" serious writing and me is the "sincere" one getting carried away here!!😆.

I'm happy you have at least and at last acceptiya-ed humarey compliments😊.. woh bhi chalega!

Waiting for the next one now... Mazza aaya bharpoor, ladki!!!!

Edited by IssPKaur - 11 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#85

Originally posted by: mandy15
awesome update dear :)

thanks so much, mandy 😳.

good to see you.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#86

Originally posted by: IssPKaur

A tumble with one's imagination - what a wonderful sounding activity! Please continue... It's getting more and more fun to read! It's hard for me to pick up things from this chapter and say this is what i particularly enjoyed. I enjoyed it all... the beginning with the ball and Rahim Chacha was lovely...a unique place to begin, that balcony, and lead into the parents...👏. And the ending was simply superb. I read "Khushi, i'm a simple man..." and i had to get tears out of the way to read the last line... Gorgeous👏... and the thought that he might soon head to sheesh mahal with her is something i can't wait for!!

Everything in the middle...it had me gripped! The words and the feelings they brought...I love it when every word creates some feeling and i'm still able to enjoy the beauty of that word itsel... That's when it truly makes music to my senses. And i felt that way reading this update! Ok... i better stop... before you start saying this is "not" serious writing and me is the "sincere" one getting carried away here!!😆.

I'm happy you have at least and at last acceptiya-ed humarey compliments😊.. woh bhi chalega!

Waiting for the next one now... Mazza aaya bharpoor, ladki!!!!

you had trears at "khushi, i'm a simple man..."? you know that's the thing... you can feel this man. deep down he is simple and just plain beautiful. and all those wonderful things you wrote about the beauty of the word itself... thrilled me. and zonked me.

aapko bharpoor mazza dene ke koshish liye phir aaygi ladki, tan tan tana. dhanyavaad, issk ji.

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sskaug25

@sskaug25

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#87

Read all the chapters. wonderful story. Waiting for the trip to Sheesh Mahal.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#88

hi sskaug,

thank you for reading... welcome to without you 😳. so glad you liked it. sheesh mahal waits glittering with memories and more in some posh part of lucknow, hope to get there as soon as the man is ready.

Edited by indi52 - 11 years ago

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Asma

@asmanichatri

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#89

So finally caught up with this update. Somehow I am feeling hungry after reading this. For food that is 😆 The whole shalgam gobi achaar triggered memories of Lahore summers and my great grandmum pickling every godforsaken vegetable.

I found it interesting that Shyam was completely blase about killing Khushi. I had even wondered in the show, for a man who was twisted as he was, I thought that Khushi was always his weakness. But I am glad that he is in jail, he always makes me nervous, even after a year that I saw the last of him 😆

While this whole update was lovely, my favourite part was when Arnav asked Khushi not to take a bullet for him, because ...well, she needed to be alive for him to be alive. As simple as that.

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Peda

@Peda

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#90

Hi

Firstly a big congrats on reaching a new thread.

Thanks for giving Arnav the presence of mind to at least think before taking action...at least he thought about the future and what would happen to Kushi and his sister if he just reacted.

Any chapter where Shaym gets his dues is always a good read.

Thanks also for taking the time out to pm me.

Looking forward to reading the next part.