arshi os: break of day - Page 5

Originally posted by: binimoti

oh, such a brilliant OS, lovely, it was at the heights of brilliancy, I loved every bit of the story telling

Originally posted by: IronButterfly

Intense.

Only she understands him fully.

She's her savior.

Originally posted by: indi52

thank you, issk, i am thrilled to read, red is going where i take her with our man. you like that ribbon line... unconsciously perhaps i brought in aword from a rather lovely love poem about the outlaw and the innocent daughter of the innkeeper... highway man by alfred noyes.

starts:

the wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees.

the moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas.

the road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,

and the highwayman came riding'

riding'riding'

the highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

there is a touch of asr khushi perhaps in that tale too. the idea of a dark but driven, passionate man and an innocent untouched woman with a crazy love for her dark man, something elementally exciting there.

and i so do agree with you, the tale should have lingered a bit longer or withdrawn a couple of lines sooner. thanks for sensing it so intuitively. muaaah.

Originally posted by: I_Dont_Know

How I wish we could see some scenes like this in our show. Sigh! It's really intense. ASR and his father's relation. Somewhere he finds shades of his father in himself and that's what he is scared of. Isn't he? And there Khushi is! It's like she is the lifeline who can help him to feel better. I loved that part where you mentioned that she always makes jalebis when she is angry but never forget to make some sugar free jalebis also. That's how pure and beautiful their relation is.

Originally posted by: IssPKaur

Wow...amazing words those of the highway man...went and read it. Thanks for taking me there as well! What awesome imagery! And yes, i met Khushi in the description of the innkeeper's daughter right away...
i quote from the same:

But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

It ended beautifully though heartrendingly. A touch of ASR Khushi exists perhaps wherever complicated passionate love does...
Glad my small suggestion was of help😳 Lovely, the story! Tremendous reading😊

Originally posted by: indi52

^^^

ami!!! you are here. yay. i love your comment needless to say... yes that gussa and oh the pyaar he must have had for his dad, now so fruitless, so lost.

this man is just too much... keeps knocking on my head, makes me want to say things... his paagal saves him and he saves her. we all could do with a bit of sambhalna from someone or the other.

how are you? changa shanga? so happy to see you. please go check your man out, he's all over the forum today.

the last line of you comment, hayeee, me thrilled.

Originally posted by: wiwy

Oh! My Indi! Can I call you a fiction writer now? Another superbly felt and written story from you! All your stories stand tall because they are so different from anyone else's. This one about Arnav and the turmoil that lies within him is very well conceptualisied. 'Maajhi naiyya dhundhe kinaara'...humming this since i read break of day! Khushi is but ofcourse the kinaara! And that is a
relief cause I love this man!