Trust & Belief - What They Mean... EDITED - Page 5

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Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: rima

for some reason my like button did not work

but I superlike your post
does she distrust that he currently cheats her? no
does she accuse him? no
does she cross question him about lying? no
all she does is think that he missed telling her some bits of the past
for whatever reason
she did dig
she did investigate
but now she has drawn conclusions based on that withc's story
plus the terrible raizadas who are jobless enough to keep pointing out the similarities
what is she to do?
Yes I am disappointed she did not confront Arnav
That she opened the DNA report
But then she is so mentally battered now
that it does not feel wrong


You know Rima that whether I completely agree with you or not, I respect your opinion very much.

I totally agree with you. In fact, I wanted Khushi to speak up in front of Sheetal today. I wanted her to say, " The ASR you know is not the Arnav I married. My husband will never take away a son from his mother because he understands mother-son relationship very well. I promise you that my husband will not separate his son from his mother. But we need to tell him what you told me because he has a right to know his son and Aarav has a right to know his father.

And you don't worry about my family's happiness. Let me handle that. I'm the daughter-in-law of the family and his wife. So I will worry about this family's happiness. It's not your concern."
710617 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#42
What khushi did is right nobody should live in a fools paradise...she has seen what has happened to Anjali... Hell. even her saintly step mom/ mausi had a past with her father in law...in Lucknow... Years ago..

And she got the DNA report done good job... If Arnav was adamantly refusing,.. Chupke se... Good ..
Now rather than confronting sheetal she should have gone to Arnav...good angel..



If bad devil... She should have gone to sheetal told her to pack her bags... Say u want to move out I am giving u one chance move out ... Or I am going to file for custody ... Saying u hid his baby from him for years ... Unstable mom...


If u want Arav to be with you... Pack his bad go back to USA ...now😡...


But my case is I believe Arnav has not behaved irresponsibly ...if confronted with so many instances where Arav is begging for dad... So many people have pointed the likeness...his own family keep on harping at every time...
If there was any likelihood of him having slept with sheetal they would have shown him a little flustered... He ha s not slept with the girl... That does not mean he has had no previous relationship..the kid might be his with another women class mate..
Even Shyam had guilt when he saw shashi babu... He wanted to hide..


livelytanu thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#44
Wow! Nice post. U gave me some information which I was quite ignorant abt. I completely agree with u. I can now understand khushi's behavior. Thanks.😊
NAFISA09 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: tia.o


I agree. Dating is a vague term even in India. Almost always it ends with a kiss (cheek/lips) and often involves alcohol. Since Arnav and Sheetal were in Harvard and not Haridwar, it stands to reason that should they have wanted/carried away to take it to physical level there were ample opportunity to do so.

At no point of time Arnav had said that Sheetal and I never had any physical relationships whatsoever. Khushi, being an old fashioned girl can't ask, but Arnav, a modern man of today, can't state that clearly to his wife?

If Arnav was a saint before marriage who never had any live-in relationships because he does not believe in physical relationship before marriage, Khushi would never wonder.

But she knew how he was before marriage. It's not that she doesn't trust him, she doesn't believe the man he was before she walked into his life.

I asked my husband that if one of your ex turns up with your exact replica and I have a doubt that the child is yours and try to find out the truth even though you told me that relationship meant nothing or you were just dating, would you get angry with me?

His answer: No. If that child is my exact replica, then your doubt is justified.

However, if I tell you that the child can no way in hell can be my son as that said ex and I never had any physical relationship ever, sober or drunk, then I'd expect you to trust me. But if you can't and insist on a DNA test, I'd do it. I have nothing to hide or worry about. What the hell I care? It's just a piece of my hair or nail.

But dating is a vague term. So if I just tell you we dated, then that had a lot of interpretation based on our age, location, sensibilities etc. Then you can go ahead and insist on a DNA test because well, I didn't give you any reason that why I think that child, can no way in hell, be mine right?


This answers were not from an Indian man. It was from a Canadian man who is as westernized and modern in his thoughts as ASR.



i agree wid ur post... well said...
JerryTheMouse thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#46
Great post Tia Ji!

I just don't want her to be the scapegoat and do sacrificial behaviors like leave her husband! That's an irritating track.

We are all adults and I'm sure A and K can work out where A can have visitation with his son and not have to other with Shital in his life...

Peachy conclusion. 😃
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: msin

What khushi did is right nobody should live in a fools paradise...she has seen what has happened to Anjali... Hell. even her saintly step mom/ mausi had a past with her father in law...in Lucknow... Years ago..


And she got the DNA report done good job... If Arnav was adamantly refusing,.. Chupke se... Good ..
Now rather than confronting sheetal she should have gone to Arnav...good angel..



If bad devil... She should have gone to sheetal told her to pack her bags... Say u want to move out I am giving u one chance move out ... Or I am going to file for custody ... Saying u hid his baby from him for years ... Unstable mom...


If u want Arav to be with you... Pack his bad go back to USA ...now😡...


But my case is I believe Arnav has not behaved irresponsibly ...if confronted with so many instances where Arav is begging for dad... So many people have pointed the likeness...his own family keep on harping at every time...
If there was any likelihood of him having slept with sheetal they would have shown him a little flustered... He ha s not slept with the girl... That does not mean he has had no previous relationship..the kid might be his with another women class mate..
Even Shyam had guilt when he saw shashi babu... He wanted to hide..




Given what we know about Arnav and Khushi. As of now, they are equally guilty and equally right. Arnav is guilty of assuming that he never needs to give a proper explanation to anyone and right in thinking that Aarav is not his son if he had never slept with Sheetal. Khushi is guilty of keeping her fear, worries and problems to herself and right in confronting Sheetal before taking any impulsive decision.

Now how they deal with this news in the future that remains to be seen. I want Arnav to understand how much his wife loves him to accept an illegitimate child with his ex in their life and I want Khushi to make it crystal clear to Sheetal that Aarav has a place in his father's life, but she has no place in Arnav's life beyond her identity as Aarav's mother.
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: tnusredey

Wow! Nice post. U gave me some information which I was quite ignorant abt. I completely agree with u. I can now understand khushi'sbehavior. Thanks.😊<div></div>



Thanks. I can only understand Khushi's behaviour now. But if Khushi decides to sacrifice her marriage, then there is no way in hell, I can understand that stupid idea. So my request to CVs to stay away from the saas-bahu martyr track.
minnie2308 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#49
Cool One Tia.O!
In all this humdrum, we forgot how cool Arnav was being - Had eyes only for Khushi and was very concerned for his foodie wife who had not eaten due to this tough fast( reminded me of my husband, who loves to see me gorge!); I bet he must have made reservations at "Punjabi By nature" coz he knew an Italian restaurant is not her cup of masala chai...gifting her KKGSR Dabba service, realising she has the self reliant streak in her and admiring it...For me this was his redemption
Anyways, back to your post!
Khushi's belief is on the fact that ASR loves her . She is being extremely modern in her views that he can still make a baby with "protection failing" drunken night out where Sheetal took advantage of a drunk ASR and fled before he woke up"wink grin". And so even though the relation meant nothing, it went to physical level with/without ASR's knowledge. And we must not take away that credit from her.
She trusts him with her life, but the way I see her psyche, she does not trust her fate enough to let her live in peace.
At times I feel, she actually goes all out to open random pandora's boxes to check if they were meant for her. It's almost as if she is trying to uncover problems before they come so that none of the troubles catch her unawares...
She trusts his word that Sheetal meant(and means) nothing! But she does not trust her fate that this means no trouble for her.
And by the way why would Sheetal use "Jhootha pani and other woman's thaal " for her own Kavachauth. The SP better have some sensible explanation for this blasphemy! No one uses other person's items here even if the man is same!
My rant went all spiral. Hope it made some sense.
But you made a lot of sense in your post Tia
Edited by minnie2308 - 12 years ago
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#50

Originally posted by: JerryTheMouse

Great post Tia Ji!


I just don't want her to be the scapegoat and do sacrificial behaviors like leave her husband! That's an irritating track.

We are all adults and I'm sure A and K can work out where A can have visitation with his son and not have to other with Shital in his life...

Peachy conclusion.😃



Absolutely agree. There should not be any problem in Sheetal dropping Aarav at RM to spend time with Arnav, Khushi and the family and then Arnav and Khushi dropping him off at her place after. That's how divorced/single mothers raise their kids. There is nothing wrong with that.

I want Khushi to make that very clear to Sheetal that leaving Arnav is out of the question.

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