IPK and Feminism Query#2 Page 36

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HeadOverHeels

@HeadOverHeels

Inactive

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: memario
Nice post :)

If you remember in one of the scenes in the show Lavanya gets a flashback where she is old and not married to Arnav and arnav brings some young girls saying hes bored with lavanya, that too showed an insecurity couples feel in a live in.

And it was one sided, because the truth of the matter is that if a man starts to find a woman "old and unattractive" then he can also do it within the confines of marriage.

Yes, he may not bring the younger women home (and I doubt anyone but a real sick pervert would do that even in a live in relationship), but it does in no way imply that a man will simply NOT have cravings/emotions for another woman if and only if he is married.

Sadly, religion and legalities do not, and have not (always) held back people from seeking both emotional and physical satisfaction outside the institution of marriage.

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-sanika-

@-sanika-

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#32

First of all for an AMAZING POST!

I am really disappointed by the selective Feminism displayed by the members of the forums. Especially for looking down at a character like Lavanya. Hell, most of us are more like Lavanya than Khushi in real lives!

I am and will continue to be pissed at the depiction of Lavanya vs Khushi. The underlying message being, a modern woman , who actually wants to work and pay for herself, is well educated, is free to chose and be committed to her lover is cheap, a tramp, a vamp and everything vile under the Sun!

This sad depiction of how small town, god fearing, innocent, bubbly girls are so much better than the reserved, polished well educated girls who want to be a man's equal and are not satisfied in being the "fairer sex" is like a slap in the face of feminism.

And what is wrong in liking Pasta! I freaking love it and my Italian Land lady makes delicious, finger licking Ravioli! It is your bloody problem that your world is so limited and narrow minded that you cannot appreciate the beauty of other cultures over your own!

/rant!

Edited by -sanika- - 12 years ago

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654772

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#33

Originally posted by: chaitra2011

I echo your sentiments HeadOverHeels. 😊

When Arnav trapped Khushi in a room and the whole "Character Dheela" incident took place, Lavanya then entered the room, and instead of being suspicious instantly, she instead "felt" (yes it came across THAT well) that something was amiss, VERY amiss. However, like I said, it was glossed over, and that was a blow right there to women, because there WAS a violent/threatening act which took place in that room, a young girl was deliberately frightened with a physical act, and she did leave the room physically (as well as emotionally) bruised.

That incident is still fresh in my mind. She voiced her concern for Khushi immediately by just feeling the situation. She was very much a "woman" sensing another woman's pain there. It did not go unnoticed by me either. La had so much potential and depth to her character. I wish her exit was not sooner, tough it was required at that point of time.

Exactly, and the fact that she didn't jump to the conclusion someone like Manorma (and most of us) would have that she was making a move on her man. It spoke of true feminism that doesn't label every action of the man as the woman's fault. Not only that but on the same day she defended Khushi by explaining that it wasn't Khushi's fault that they had a blackout in Shantivan. And she did it all in a swanky sleeveless blouse and capris.

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Unfinished

@Unfinished

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#34

Lavyana was a character based on reality - girls like her are all around us - she could have been me! (when I was younger) Khushi on the other - hand is completely fictional- a virgin at age 22! - That doesn't happen in real life.

Yet the SP decided to a real character like Lavanya change into something unreal.! But in process gave her a depth of emotions, which was very sensitively portrayed by the actress.

I have always very strongly believed that in real life, ASR and Lavanya would have stayed together, Warts and all!

Moral of this story, modern is still "bad" and a sanskari virgin at 22 is "good"

Is this a reflection of your society or preaching by the channel, I don't know!

btw, what is so great about pasta? I avoid it at all cost! Just something to feed the kids when I can't be bothered cooking.

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654772

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: Unfinished

Lavyana was a character based on reality - girls like her are all around us - she could have been me! (when I was younger) Khushi on the other - hand is completely fictional- a virgin at age 22! - That doesn't happen in real life.

Yet the SP decided to a real character like Lavanya change into something unreal.! But in process gave her a depth of emotions, which was very sensitively portrayed by the actress.
I have always very strongly believed that in real life, ASR and Lavanya would have stayed together, Warts and all!

Moral of this story, modern is still "bad" and a sanskari virgin at 22 is "good"
Is this a reflection of your society or preaching by the channel, I don't know!

btw, what is so great about pasta? I avoid it at all cost! Just something to feed the kids when I can't be bothered cooking.

hahahaah the pasta was a reference to tastes that everyone is entitled to have instead of making it sound so bad and pretentious. I love it once in a while and no I didn't mean Maggie noodles. I meant proper food.

And I agree, Lavanya was real but no body tunes in to watch reality. They want a fantastic love story that beats all the odds. In the beginning she was Kamolika incarnate actually, with her nasty high pitched tantrums, but no body wanted to know why she was like that, it was just summarily dismissed as how these corporate bitches are.

I have read many articles about how women in power in the corporate world are inhuman and cruel, being compared to Disney witches, and it makes my blood boil because how they got there in a man's world is never appreciated because a women can't handle power and be a woman she has to change in to a man to keep it or be extremely immoral.

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Rockerchic

@Rockerchic

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: TheThoughtCrime

What gets my goat everytime:
1) Women should be married by a certain age. They have a certian 'shelf life'.

2) Your worth is judged by the man you marry and keep.

3) Your worth is judged by how many children(son's) you have. God forbid if you or your husband have medical issues with concieving.

4) Your worth as a prospective bride is not because you are a fairly intelligent professional, but whether your educational degree will lead to an ego boost of your future husband and his family.

I could go on...

It's sad that I can relate to almost all of those points. Very sad indeed.

RC peruses a career in professional acting, and all my rather backward grand-ma had to say about it was - "Jaldi se padayi hogi aur phir shaadhi". Not a word of encouragement.

Apparently it's still taboo for a woman to get a degree in theatre arts and god forbade actually use that degree.

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DiamondLife

@DiamondLife

Stunner

+ 15

Posted: 12 years ago

#37

sorry..i disagree completely.

Lavanya never ever understand or tried to understand ASR..until she was shown some values and depth of meaning of love by Khushi. She just understood his taste of choice.

She was all after showcase...She was attracted by ASR's wealth hence stick with him..Yes, she followed his rules of love e.g. ASR did not want her to show it openly thru flowers or etc..

There was no feelings at all between them.

Khushi showed her the mirror and she started feelings beside physically.

Later, fell hard for him...but she never tried to understand why he was like that and what is hurting him. With little blow from ASR she was ready to leave him..that was superficial relation. Their relationship was to show to society from ASR side and she was just enjoying his name and fame.

They broke up maturely ..that too feelings in ASR was arouse by khushi..that he is not doing right to her. If he cant feel for her let her go, not keep her in dark. She asked in office whether he ever loved her..
Lavanya the moment she knew his feelings for khushi, stepped back with dignity.

I was not her fan..the way she was manipulating people for her benefit. I am not against modern thinking or approach but her political and jealous behavior was not right for me.

Edited by Shastradhari - 12 years ago

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thechaigirl

@thechaigirl

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#38

TM a round of applause for you.

Fantastic post.

Where do I begin. SO here it goes. 1 minute after I started reading your post I totally forgot we are discussing reel here. The hypocrisy and the prejudice u r highlighting is very much a part of Indian society. I have encountered it staying away from India in USA for the last 7 years of my life. I see so called "foreign educated" Indians living outside of India exhibiting exactly the kind of "shallowness" (yes I call it being shallow) u talk abt.

A person like Lavanya automatically becomes a promiscuous woman (forum rules prohibit me from using the exact word). The fact that she can think of living with someone without marriage over rides all her other good qualities and makes her characterless. Increasingly I see men around me who would want GF's who are independent to live with but when it comes to marriage they are neither able to hold their stand in face of parent pressure or are shallow enuff to want a untouched wife. What is wrong with this whether shown on reel as in case of Lavanya or what we see around is linking the concept of "character" with something as personal as sex. THe very same society is so lenient on people who cheat, manipulate or even fraud others...no one gets up to call these people character less y bcos inspite of being low lying scums may b they adhered to societal norms.

A break up after a living in relationship usually gets insensitive responses "We told u so" responses where as in my eyes in either case the pain, the loss of trust is the same.

Now coming to Lavanya the way they depicted her. My issues with Lavanya's character portrayal was again a kind of bias shown towards the female gender. ASR since he owns AR is shown as a self made, intelligent guy on the other hand Lavanya who is his assistant is shown as a bitchy, dimwit who did nothing but follow his barked orders. I find this extremely degrading to working women. If she was the great ASR's assistant then logic and life in the corporate world tells me she would not have reached there unless she deserved it then y portray her like a dimwit.

As u rightly said the change that happened in her would not have unless she herself somewhere had the sensitivity within her. I do not agree with KHushi getting the entire credit for bringing that quality in Lavanya. These are not things one can teach someone if the student does not have the bend of mind to understand it.

I have said it a lot of times before and will say again I for one do not understand SP's "Nayi Soch" when they have cliche leads and totally ignore the modern Indian women who are free thinking, independent and have it in them to take a stand for what they believe in.

If u pm ur posts to people please pm me too...after long I got to see a post which motivated me to contribute.

Edited by memyselfandrshi - 12 years ago

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-sanika-

@-sanika-

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: medha16
i agree with each n every word u said...yes lavanya kashyap was a woman of pure strong mettle which sadly the leads n the parallel leads have not yet mastered in this one n half years...the show promotes cliches n somehow SP believes in the fact that women are epitome of divine goodness n moral sanctity n the so called traditional homes r the upholders of 'goodness' n are placed as moral popes in the judgement of good n evil!
in this world there is no grey...its either black or white!
my question...what is wrong in being an atheist?its a matter of choice n not an issue of right n wrong!
u call a salwar kameez clad white skinned girl,unaware,unassuming.too embarrassingly naive n unknowing about the ways of the world plain engrossed in chanting devi maiyya without having any practical sense an IDEAL PROSPECTIVE SANSKAARI BAHU...i call it plain foolishness n stupidity!
i dont wear salwaar,i dont pray in temples,i dont speak pure unadulterated mother-tongue,i believe in giving an eye for an eye,im liberal in my views about relationships n live ins,im not naive,i roam around with guys,i have had my share of boyfriends n intimacy,im quite skeptical about the hindu traditions of saath pheras n kanyadaans n i have my reasons 4 dat...does that make me a characterless wh**e or a person in the category of not-fit-to-be-a-bride but fit 4 parties n glamorous events as arm candy?
why should a woman be bounded by these imaginary shackles the so called traditions as they r called to be ideal bahus?
im very happy with my skin colour or my choice of clothes or education,thank u!
im not ashamed of who i am n neither do i feel the need to mould myself in order to suit other peoples restricted views!same goes for lavanya...arnav never gave a bloody shit 4 her n she was made to change herself to suit his familys choices!
why was la characterized as an obnoxious rich arrogant vamp initially?is it bcoz she was brought up in london ,she wears dresses instead of the TRADITIONAL midriff,cleavage n back bearing cholis held up by just 2 strings or is it bcoz she is career oriented n prefers a job over making sweets n parathas in the kitchen wearing designer sarees?
so according to SP...all of us r vamps n arrogant bitches...the only hope left 4 us is getting trained on how to celebrate janmashtami n make diyas n learn how to make jalebis n kheers,never mention anything on f**king n getting f**ked in suhagraats,worship ur husband like god even if he is a scum n NEVER claim for a career or have any male friends coz if ur seen with them,u will be called a prostitute!
lesson learnt,SP!
rishta vahi,soch nayi!!!
INDEED!!!!!

I agree with you word for word!
This is the reason I stay away from Desi Drama
Cuz i aint ever gonna be a typical Desi chick!

Just watched the show for ASR and his modern views
That he was okay with having GFs, live-in and that he was an atheist!
I really hoped that through him they showed that , it is okay to have a different lifestyle than the prescribed saas- bahu rona dhona
Seems like I just wasted my time !

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HeadOverHeels

@HeadOverHeels

Inactive

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: Shastradhari
sorry..i disagree completely.

Lavanya never ever understand or tried to understand ASR..until she was shown some values and depth of meaning of love by Khushi. She just understood his taste of choice.

She was all after showcase...She was attracted by ASR's wealth hence stick with him..Yes, she followed his rules of love e.g. ASR did not want her to show it openly thru flowers or etc..

There was no feelings at all between them.

Khushi showed her the mirror and she started feelings beside physically.

Later, fell hard for him...but she never tried to understand why he was like that and what is hurting him. With little blow from ASR she was ready to leave him..that was superficial relation. Their relationship was to show to society from ASR side and she was just enjoying his name and fame.

They broke up maturely ..that too feelings in ASR was arouse by khushi..that he is not doing right to her. If he cant feel for her let her go, not keep her in dark. She asked in office whether he ever loved her..
Lavanya the moment she knew his feelings for khushi, stepped back with dignity.

I was not her fan..the way she was manipulating people for her benefit. I am not against modern thinking or approach but her political and jealous behavior was not right for me.