~ A series of unfortunate ASR events ~
Rain, rain, go away and only return whence ASR comes in my way. A failed attempt of editing and re-wording a popular saying (Pretty much summarizes my lack of creativity!) *Toothy Grin* Well hello there Is Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doon forum - I purr seductively. Reason for my purring despite being aware that this forum consisted of 99.8% of females: BECAUSE I solely and without putting much of a fight, give up on my expedition of finding an ASR of my bloody own.
I may sound stupid, naive, girly, emotional and utterly feminine BUT alas thy name is Sammy. I will not deny nor hide away from the fact that I sit behind the computer screen and YouTube videos of men like ASR. I will not conceal from the fact that I actually at times wait for the Episode to air around 2am JUST to watch my dream man burn my screen with their heat. Realistically when I have an assignment due, the clock strikes 7pm and I'm already knocked out unconscious with the absolute need to sleep. But when I have nothing to do but catch up on a goodnights rest, I stay up like an Insomniac freak and have my eyes lingered to the screen until dawn. MIND YOU this is without the aid of energy drinks, 10 cups of coffee, chocolate and even a fan to keep my eyelids open! (I'm not exaggerating about the fan LMAO. Alas sometimes I get so sleepy doing an assignment or studying for an exam that I actually sit before a fan and allow the air to rape my eyelids open. I might add the fact that I get carried away speaking and singing to the fan for robotic and artificial purposes but that does not need to be further evaluated).
As per usual, I got carried away. Now where was I? Oh yes I was supposed to embark in my disappointment by howling to you girls! So you might be wondering why I have given up on my goal to find my very own ASR apart from the obvious fact that all good looking and intelligent men whom carries their bank account within their pockets are either extinct, fictional or a fragment of my hallucinate imagination. Well do I have a series of unfortunate events to tell you!
*Flashback into story mode* (Insert Kuch Kuch Hota Hai music)
It was a rainy day and as per usual I was not dressed according to the weather. Rain + Mud = Jeans, jumper and boots. However: Rain + Mud + My brain cells = Long summer dress with ballerina flats. Stupidity at its peak right? So I marched confidently to my university only to encounter a puddle the size of the Atlantic Ocean. Okay maybe I exaggerated but to an Ants or insects point of view it was the Nile River or a Tsunami. In my shoes perspective it was an ocean and quite frankly a VERY long one. So if you were expecting me to simply jump over it then think again. I had to swim through it - that is how long it was. It basically covered a section of the footpath which meant that I had to either walk through it or walk around it on the muddy damp grass. I poked the grass and realized I may as well kiss my new shoes goodbye as it will literally have a mud bath. So I took a selfish and vain step back and watched the men walk through the puddle in their enclosed joggers.
This was the epic moment whereby I needed an ASR to lift me arrogantly into his arms and walk through the puddle like the saviour he is. A heart less, mean and filthy rich saviour ...that is... I actually (I kid you not) looked behind my shoulder and tried to find him. I stood before the puddle for 10 minutes as people walked by and continued to look around my surroundings. The ASR of the university came to my dreamy sigh and goodness me he is GORGEOUS, well dressed, intelligent and quite the arrogant jerk you see on television. Now like Arnav, he also has a staring problem and the target is always me. I may sound like I'm rolling my eyes and whispering 'desperado' but really, I am so flattered by his attention that I literally float in mid-air. But my pride compels me to 'pretend' I am superior and thus give no attention to his beauty. I hope I've destroyed his ego! *Evil grin* but I will be doomed if he ever turns around without notice. He would find me on the ground 'Maar-daala-ing' towards his direction and drooling at his broad back.
Since I consider him the ASR of the real world. I had some expectations OKAY! He was supposed to at least sympathize or even look concerned about the fate of my BALLERINA SHOES! But do you know what he did? He did not RABBA-VE-ME in any form. In fact, he continued walking through the puddle like a hero, leaving me gaping at his back! Would ASR do that to a damsel in distress? GRANTED he did throw her out of a window ... *Chuckles - that was such an unattractive scene* but but but, I'm pretty sure a girl stranded before an Insects Atlantic Ocean with ballerina flats is a MAJOR universal concern that needs to be addressed! *Raises flag and fights for woman's shoes rights!*
*Insert Kal Ho Na Ho music*
YOU all dream about the 'man' who will always miraculously be present to save you when you fall ... do not deny it! *Sobs dramatically into pillow* I DID TOO! *Shrieks with a watery nose*. I always hoped that one day I will either faint (CALL ME WEIRD, but that's one thing I plan to achieve before I die *God forbid - I whisper 100 times*) or I will fall very attractively backwards and land into the muscular arms of a sexy smelling, super strong, well dressed and RICH RICH RICH $$$ (PAISAAA PAISAAA *edits Komolika's NIKAAA snake hiss from KZK) man. Well let me BURST your bubble just like mine was crushed, stepped and farted on very recently!
I did fall girls! I DID! And real life ASR was present. But did it go according to plan!? *Snorts* Did I fall backwards? Nope. Did I fall forward like the usual CASE? Yes. Did ASR prevent it? NOPE. What prevented it? NOTHING. What was the outcome? I fell flat on my face and heard him scream out 'NOOO!'. I watched him punch the ground in anger that the tiles DARED to hurt his beloved! *Laughs like a banshee* KIDDING! *Thumps chest* Instead of punishing the world and like Prem in KDMHMD - threatening to gorge societies eyes out for hurting his Heer (in this case AKA as me *Flutters eyelash*) he chuckled
Indeed. He chuckled. Whereby I continued to lay on my face attempting to embrace the tectonic plates and hide forever in oblivion. I was so humiliated, I could have sworn my entire existence and mayhap even my buttocks were twitching in a state of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which I like to rephrase as Post-Traumatic-Lack-of-ASR-disorder.
With that said, I would like to conclude that US girls should stick our head into reality and realize that we are going to remain in a mentally constructed relationship with our celebrities and fictional book heroes because they simply do not exist in real life!
*Enter song from Madhoshi - Oh jaani jaaana*
Sammy hallucinates a real form of ASR and starts singing and taking photos with him.
*Don't judge me* = \
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Current Affairs
Anupamaa
Hindi TV Shows
851