ASR only had one choice? Really? - Page 10

Originally posted by: misclog2003

😭😭😭

I always enjoy reading what you have to say. My bad luck, but hopefully you will be able to post your thoughts here on in another topic and I will look forward to reading them.

Originally posted by: misclog2003

I also think we are in disagreement because of what we both like as individuals. In my real life I have seen many people turning bad when bad things happen to them. I have seen abuse being perpetuated down generations with no break in the cycle. People feel they can stomp on others lives as their own life has been stomped over.I also have seen a dear friend, who has been physically and mentally abused, but there is no bad bone or bad feeling about that part of their life. That level of maturity and the kindness, sympathy and compassion the friend shows towards others, is mind boggling to me. I get inspired and like to draw inspiration from such people.

I'm deeply sorry to hear about your friend. You're right. It's the most inspiring experience to watch someone that has been damaged severely stay strong and positive in life.

I have personal experience with abused people as well. Some closer than friends. But my experience tells me that some manage to move past it, become positive, proactive, warm and kind people - while others become emotionally detached, downright cold. Thus I can understand and admire Khushi's positivity. It's an proactive energy. But I also understand Arnav and Anjali's negative energy and wish to see them redeem themselves.

I think that you're right about "what we like as individuals". In real life, I can't stand it when people continue to play the victim role rather than stand up and move forward. In real life, I believe in being proactive - no matter how damaged your past. There aren't any excuses for doing unto others what has been done to you. However, I do understand that there are people who fight an internal battle with themselves all the time. I understand that, being a human, there's the potential to do bad in everyone. I understand that not everyone know or understand how to deal with pain in a proactive way. In the right way. I understand that some psychological issues can be so deeply rooted in a mind that it eliminates the ability to consider the consequences of one's actions and how it impacts the people around you.

In stories, I have a soft spot for the tormented soul. I wish to see him rise from the dark - I wish to see him realize all the bad things that he has done, understand/recognize it, and feel remorse. I want to see his struggle for redemption and experience the beautiful moment of redemption with him.

The thing about real life is that man is essentially alone. The world can be a cruel place to the one who is alone. I feel like this is mirrored in Arnav and Anjali and it helps me relate to them. It gives me a bad taste in my mouth, but it also depicts a cruel reality. Because not everyone is able to fight their way out of the darkness - 18 or 28. I know 35-year olds who still lie in a bitter darkness, unable to change. Even the tinest changes in Arnav gives me a boost, a hope. He may have taken one step back by marrying Khushi - but he has taken several small steps forward in the past months that shows the potential to do good, to be kind and caring, and move past some scars. This isn't easy - especially for a man who has had a very specific mentality since his teen years.

He might make more mistakes yet, but it's important to me that he realizes his mistakes, feels remorse, corrects them, and redeems himself.

I don't care she is an Orphan and Orphan stories are dime a dozen. Doesn't matter if your mother abandons you, or dies in an accident or kills herself, you are without parent(s). The sadness and loneliness is the same. How you came out of it and what kind of person you become is what fascinates me. That is the reason, having seen such a friend in real life, I feel more empathy towards Kushi.

Naturally. I respect your point of view very much. In fact, I like Khushi's way on handling life much better than Arnav's, on a practical level. It's just that I understand Arnav's side because I can understand people's mentalities, pain thresholds, etc., aren't the same. It takes more for some people to fight the darkness - perhaps because they're more affected by the past. Maybe because their fears are greater. Their ability to take obstacles with a grain of salt lesser. Arnav has very rational mind, but sometimes he isn't able to think in proactive solutions. Instead he causes more hurt and pain for himself and people around him. He needs a guide. Someone to show him the right way. Khushi brought tiny changes in him, and he even admired Shyam, but now that both characters seemed to have betrayed him - he has lost the foundation on which he was building the changes.

It's back to square one. Because his theories are confirmed about people and the world. He doesn't understand that just because some people betray you, have bad intentions, doesn't mean that everyone is the same. That you should stop trusting and caring. The reason he doesn't understand this is because he hasn't been taught it. He has only experienced betrayal and lies.

He has utmost respect for his Mami (for what she did for him), but he won't depend on her ever. He has been "raised" by a zealous sister who is so paranoid that she sees bad signs everywhere. That is bound to leave a mark on you. Either you lose complete faith or you become overly sensitive about everything. And if you lose faith, you start to make your own rules and guidelines for what is right and wrong. But man wasn't made to legislate. And Arnav Sing Raizada is not God. So what he deems right can essentially be wrong because he has no rules/guidelines to follow but his own. See?

This is why I don't condemn Arnav's character, because deep down I see him as a lost boy who has had no one to guide him throughout his life, who was shaped by the circumstances that were (essentially) bad for him and his sister - and as a man, a shaped man, he has made choices so wrong and cold and self-destructive that he can't even see it himself unless someone points it out in details. And even then, it'll take more than that to make him acknowledge it. Because accepting that you have done wrong, that you've lived wrong or made wrong choices, isn't easy for any human being to hear and accept. It's like telling a mother that she's a bad mother and hasn't raised her child right.

But my passion is to find people who make me want to be a better person and react to situations differently than the norm. Kushi for the most part impressed me when the serial started. She is young, yet strong. She has gone through a lot but always like to see good in others. She is naive and stupid at times, but also independent and fights back most of the time. She has been dumped on more than what an 18 year old deserves, but yet hasn't broken down, become clingy or needy. That inspires me.

I understand and respect this. I do seek this in books and I live it in real life. But in shows, I want to see a person take that journey toward becoming a good and positive person. It's what shows me that people can change, that struggles can be endured, battles won, and that despite all the bad choices you've made - there's hope for redemption. I need to see Arnav do bad, realize it, feel remorse, and redeem himself. I need to know that, despite all his wrongs, he won't go to Hell because he redeemed himself. It gives me hope.

PS: I don't know exactly, but in episode 9 or 10, when mami makes a scene about jewelry, ASR goes and buys whatever she wants and shuts up Nani saying, when no family wanted to help me, mami was the only one who sold her jewelry to get my business started. Even says, I am this successful only because of her and I can do anything for her. So, no, they were not fending for themselves completely. Not trying to nitpick, all I am saying is, if Kushi had safety net, so did ASR.

Perhaps they weren't fending for themselves economically (though I think that a man like Arnav will always feel in debt to his Mami now - which isn't a good thing either), but they were essentially alone, on their own. It was them against the world. Anjali felt that she had to raise Arnav. Arnav felt that he had to protect and provide for his sister. He took whatever chances he got. Be it jewelry from his Mami (which couldn't have been a very nice moment for him) or stomping on others to get to the top (which isn't the right means to reach an end).

Thanks once again for the debate 😊 Please do keep posting😳

Originally posted by: Rita.C

I try to avoid quotes becuase the page looks so messy but both of you have written and argued the point so well that I wanted to re-post it!

brilliant indictment and brilliant defence. Loved reading both of you..Elysia, your reasoning for watching the serial and your analysis of the characters completely matches mine... I too am enjoying the unwrapping of the gift, of watching the progress of these two v imperfect individuals moving slowly from darkness to light, with the central character being Khushi who is literally dragging them there...

btw, I would be interested in your analysis of Shyam - to be he is v interesting becuase he is so amoral, just a classic sociopath... someone who is gentle, loving, caring to Khushi and a cold blooded murderer otherwise... v fascinating.

thanks both for taking the time to share your thoughts ... you made my day...

Originally posted by: sunflower52

@Elysia, I agree with you have you studied psychology.

You have understood the psyche's of Shaym, Arnav and Angali.

My opinion is the same as your. We can not expect that people are the same, they are not.

Everyone has different personalities and coping with situations. Men and women tend to react differently with their trauma.

I also find Arnav and Angali's past life more traumatic then Khushi's.

I could never imagine the trauma of loosing a parent in such a way, then your barat leaving and then getting kicked out from your own home. Loosing everything in one night.

We only know that Khushi lost her parents in accident and was taught values and loved by Shashijee. That's one of the things I love about Khushi is her positive outlook on life and people. Which very few people have.

look at Arnav's family, mami is not that sensible person, nani to domineering, mamjee does not say anything. The he see his sister change into a paranoid and clingy person.

Khushi is sent into Arnav's life to make him see that whole world is not bad but there are people like her exist. It is okay to trust someone else.

Originally posted by: sbk2

Splendid post!

I missed out on this one..noticed your response on enigma's thread and then keenly looked for yours.

Beautifully written!

Today's episode shook me up...it was all about Khushi being interrogated, witch-hunted, humiliated in front of others while the person responsible for the whole situation stands besides her stoically, refusing to defend her (at least for the time being) or open his mouth to stop her from being subjected to an emotionally shattering barrage of questions.

Today all I saw was Khushi going through this torturous experience, without getting support from anyone...

I was appalled by how she was slapped like that...in front of her in-laws and berated as if she was a stupid silly child who needs to be taught a lesson!

Loved your post!