II | Acceptance
"Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused."
- Paulo Coelho
Night tided over, and yet again, the brilliant morning rays filled the studio with light.
He had lost count of the nights that he had spent in there, but he knew that it had been a while since he had stepped out. Their bedroom had been completely deserted by the prior two inhabitants of the room one by choice, and one, not so much.
To his defence, Omkara was convinced that she was still in there.
She was impossible to forget and he knew it was because she didn't want to be forgotten. Because he could still hear her anklets there, could sense the hallmarks of the honeyed citrus scent that she had left behind.
No, he couldn't return to that room.
Gauri.
She was like a fire one that waged gently, while it destroyed. And he was the dying embers of her flame shaded with ambivalence, hardened by experience.
And ever since she had left, Omkara Singh Oberoi was just that.
Ashes.
***
Everything had been okay.
For the first time in months, his family had been happy. He would never, ever admit it out loud, but he was happy too. They had all been happy, and she, with her innocence and good heart, had helped it happen.
She was happy too. He had seen it, with his very eyes. The growing affinities between her and his brothers, the ties that she had so seamlessly formed with his Bhabhi, and Somu. The tentative friendship that they had shared with each other they had all screamed happy.
And yet, she was gone.
She had left him empty, hollow and torn.
Had he always been this blind?
He should have known that she was hurting, that she was a single breath away from collapsing within herself. He, the great and mighty artist, renowned for his eye for detail and his compassion, hadn't seen the hasty tears that she brushed away whenever anyone had turned her way. He refused to admit that maybe, just maybe, he had noticed.
Just ignored it.
Like he now ignored the tentative knock on his door.
What day was it?
He had spent so long in this room, trapped between four walls and his broken heart that he had no sense of time, and no chance of survival.
His brothers had been too terrified to face him. For once, his pillars had failed to hold him up, and he didn't blame them. He was a brute, and he accepted that neither wanted to see him, right now. But maybe?, he couldn't help but think, as his door was wedged open, in a show of deliberate force.
He winced, as the light hit him violently. The warm, dusky glow from the hallway illuminated the figure that now stood at his doorway, arms crossed in disapproval. She appeared like a messiah, brilliant but soft.
"You're absolutely festering in here. Saumya noted in distinct distaste, as she marched into the dark and desolate studio.
He couldn't help but look up at her, expectantly. Saumya, loving and open-hearted that she was, would know what to do. Maybe if she would just help him, maybe if she could just save him, from himself...
But instead, all she did was frown.
"For god's sake, get rid of that! She picked up the half-drunk bottle of absinthe, and threw it away from his reach. Her tone, and the contempt that she spoke with, made him shiver. Sinking to her knees in front of him, she scrutinized his appearance frantically.
"What have you done to yourself?
Omkara recoiled sharply. He had never seen sweet-faced, soft-spoken, Saumya, angry before. And yet, as he hesitantly stared back at her, that was all he could think.
And then again, he didn't want her anger too. Not when everything had already left him.
"If you're here to yell at me too, then please just leave, Somu. Shivaay and Rudra have already done that. Om closed his eyes, recalling the fights that had taken place when Gauri had left. Rudra had refused to talk to him, and Shivaay had thrown a punch or two. The bloodied memories seemed so distant now.
"I'm not going to leave until I get this all out. How dare you just sit here, and be as ungrateful as you are being? She kept her voice cold, but he could hear her fury, and it dumbfounded her. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"If you must know, Bade Bhaiya is in Bareilly, with Annika Bhabhi looking for your wife. And Rudra's been taking care of the whole family, while you two have been away. So instead of blaming the people who are trying to help you, why don't you get up and help yourself?
"I don't need help. Avoiding her eyes and her cruelty, Om turned away from her glowering face. He had no strength left in him to argue with her.
"Really? Of course not, because we can all see how productive you've been in the last month! Throwing her hands up in her rage, a characteristic that she had obviously learnt from his brother, Saumya turned away from him as well.
That hit a nerve.
"Listen, Somu "
"No, you listen! You let her go, treated her like crap for the better half of the time that you knew her so you don't get to sit here and pity yourself!
It wasn't a question, but a bitter statement, said with such fragility that it unnerved him. She loathed him, didn't she?
"She left me, Saumya. Sighing, he looked down at his hands. Saumya shook her head, in what he interpreted as discontent, but all she did was ask him something that chilled his bones.
"Did she?
Her words hung in the air, cutting through the disguised patience. Was she deliberately being obtuse?
"Don't you see? She wanted to leave, and so she did!
"Did she?
"What do you mean, Somu? You know what happened.
Saumya completely sat down, folding her knees up to hug her chest. He kept skirting around what she desperately wanted to hear, and what he needed to face.
"Why did you let her go? She, being as logical as she was, didn't avoid the question. He, being as weak as he was, didn't dispute it. He hadn't gone to look for her, even when his family had begged him to. Why hadn't he tried to find her?
"I don't deserve her. The answer was cruel, but he knew it was true.
But Saumya wouldn't take it.
"Isn't there more to it? Is that the only reason why you let her go?
Only one thing gave a man to turn away from what he wanted so desperately. But Omkara, who was indeed Shivaay's brother, and Tej's son, would never admit it. But he couldn't speak anymore couldn't lie, and so he remained quiet.
They sat like that, in silence, both teary but relentless.
He was still stronger than her because after what felt like eons later, her defenses broke.
She had tried so hard to yell at him to scream and shout, to coax a response from him. To make him, in any way, shape or form, stop hurting, and start acting. But she couldn't help but feel for this disillusioned, shell of a man whose very being left being lay in shreds, in front of her. So she didn't.
"Open your eyes, Bhaiya. Open them, and see what I can see. What we all can see. Grabbing his shoulders tensely, she shook his heavy frame in desperation. But now, he looked away, shaking his head furiously.
"There's nothing to see.
"Yes, there is.
Omkara frantically tried to move out of her reach, but she was unyielding. He needed to look into the mirror to face what had been staring them all down, and this was the only way.
"If she was here in front of you, tonight, what would you say to her?
"That I'm sorry. And that I "
He paused, in surprise, and in shock. The words had ebbed out of him, flowed through before he knew how to stop them. But he had to, he had to, otherwise everything would change.
"God, I can't. I can't say it. Saumya let out a sob at his words, moving her hands to squeeze his shoulders. Not when they were so close, not when he was just about to accept.
"Open your eyes, Bhaiya. Stop running away, please.
Omkara whimpered, shaking in her arms. How had he let Gauri leave?
"You love her and you always will. She had said it so simply, so tenaciously, that he looked up into her eyes, hysteric. He repeated her words, dazed but finally, decided.
"I love her.
As they finally embraced, crying unashamedly as they did neither noticed the eyes that studied them, from behind the doorway.
*
Early next morning, he watched his brother leave in search of the woman he loved. Even as the vertiginous relief overwhelmed him, Rudra couldn't help but feel that he was missing something. Missing someone.
It was only when he saw her across the room, smiling through unshed tears, that he realised who he had been looking for, all along.
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Hi loves!
I'm super sorry that this is so late, but I was a bit confused because I was going for a very new angle in regards to Saumya. Regardless, these two were one of my favourite pairs in IB - what with them both being so calm and collected but always the fixers, in every situation. I love them both so much, and now, I can't help but miss Saumya and RumYa so bitterly!
All you RuvYa fans, I'm sorry that this doesn't have Bhavya in it, but when I started this, it had Saumya in it, so I was obliged to keep her in this one.
The next one is AniRu, my personal favourites out of the three pairs, so keep a look out! It shouldn't be so late, hopefully! ❤️
Cheers,
Innika
Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin
