I | Faith.
Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can learn to do is swim.'
- Vicki Harrison
The midnight air was violently cold, but it didn't bother him.
Nothing did anymore.
Tonight, Shivaay Singh Oberoi was a defeated man. The hospital garden, was an aching reflection of everything that he stood for. The elitist landscape was well-essayed, immaculately planned, and yet somehow, he couldn't bring himself to appreciate it. Omkara's tentative advice hadn't worked.
His brother, always idealistic and nave, believed that nature had a way with lost souls. That somehow, the beauty of silent life, could distract one from the brutalities of the real world. But he couldn't see it. All he saw was emptiness empty, like the caverns of his hollow heart.
He found himself sinking to his knees, falling inelegantly onto the dewy grass, even as the brutal wind beat at his arms and legs. He wanted to cry, desperately wanted to tear at himself and scream punish himself in any way, shape or form, but he just couldn't.
His bones were weary, tired like he was but sleep wouldn't come. His mother had recommended that one, go home and get some sleep, Shivaay we'll tell you if she wakes up. If he had had the strength, he would have laughed at the bitter irony of the situation he, getting sleep, not knowing if she would ever wake up again.
Because everytime he closed his eyes, all he saw was her.
Annika.
Her smile, her words, her tears, her silence...
Her bloodied body.
It had been so small, so insignificant.
Hindsight 20/20, indeed. Their sangeet had been absolutely disastrous, a dreadful mix of tears, fights and hurt. Ranveer's mother had made an appearance, and his own mother had thrown a fit. There were words thrown back and forth, and Annika had somehow gotten caught in the crossfire.
So insignificant.
He hadn't expected her to run out of the mansion. He hadn't expected her to walk onto a busy road. He hadn't expected the truck to have come out of nowhere.
Rudra had run out behind her, so he had seen her first. He was the one that had been in front of the ICU, pacing restlessly, when Shivaay had reached. Years of experience let him read his brother without any words being exchanged there was little chance of survival. Rudra hadn't known how to tell him that, and Omkara had only offered comforting words as he tried to ease the tangible carnage onto him. It hadn't worked, and he had run out of that suffocating hospital corridor.
And now, he was here. Alone, absent and unforgiving...
The tinkling of anklets, intrusive, but not unbearably so, broke him out of his reverie. Without turning back, he recognised the characteristic hallmarks of his sister-in-law, as she moved towards him. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, or anyone really. He liked her, found some sort of inane innocence within her that had pulled at his heart but tonight was not the night.
Especially not her. Not when she reminded him so much of the woman that he loved not when everytime she was near him, he felt something so distinctly profound about her, that it made him shiver.
She was loud, rambunctious and eternally bubbly, like his wife and he expected a tentative joke, or empty words of reassurance to come from her.
But she didn't speak at all.
Instead, she sank down beside him hugging her knees, as she shivered in the painful midnight air. He could feel her inquisitive eyes, searching his face silently, but he refused to meet them.
"Go inside, Gauri. You're going to get sick.
The petite woman, almost childlike in her entirety, let out a laugh a mirthless, yet musical tinkling that made him turn towards her in mild question. She gave him a weak, but genuine smile, as their eyes finally met.
"A few weeks ago, Daadi showed me photos of you all when you were just children. Her teeth chattered as she finally spoke, making it quite clear to him, that she wasn't moving. He inclined his head, not knowing how to respond to her words so in a show of tacit defeat, he decided to listen as she kept talking.
"You were always the same, weren't you? The protector of the family, the wall that stood between everyone and the pain that the world threw at you. The bluntness with which she spoke was something he was rarely used to, and weakened, he let her continue.
"I wonder what that could do to a person. Always being on edge, always prepared to fight the demons that lurked in the shadows you never do trust anyone completely, do you? She met his eyes again, this time in direct question and he finally realised what she was getting at.
"I do trust her, Gauri. I always have, it's just that "He began to explain himself, but she just shook her head, another hesitant smile playing at her lips.
"I'm not talking about her, Bade Bhaiya. I'm talking about trusting fate. Her words hung in the frosty air, as she looked on expectantly, waiting for any semblance of his thoughts. In turn, he raised his eyebrows at the young woman before him, and her blinding artlessness. He was a man of foundation, of substance and an ingenuous conjuring such as fate didn't tempt him.
"If I had left things to fate, Gauri, the Oberoi empire wouldn't be standing today. It was true, however arrogant it did sound. He tried to pose his biting answer as tactfully as he could, so as not to hurt her but to his surprise, she nodded thoughtfully.
"Fair enough. So you were the one that made sure you met Bhojai on the day that you did, as well? The innocent inquiry stumped him, and he found himself reeling from the impact of her words.
"No, but...
"But that's just the thing, isn't it? We can't control the laws of fate, Bade Bhaiya not even you can. Gauri moved closer to him, clasping his calloused hands with her small fingers as she smiled, at the evident disillusionment marring his features. He gripped her hands tighter, looking searchingly at her face trying to find meaning in what she was trying to explain.
"I don't understand what are you saying?
"I'm saying that we can't control what's going to come out of tonight.
Even as the idealism behind her words resounded within him, he couldn't help but feel defenseless. Exposed, like she had seen right through him. Like her blameless ministrations had awoken a storm within his soul like he had just been shown a mirror. He was helpless tonight, like they all were.
They were fate's marionettes, and nothing, and no one could change that.
"Then what do we do? He asked softly, resembling that of a lost child. Gauri's face shone in the moonlight, a contrast from the shadows of the night, as she said something, that he would come to never forget.
"We have faith.
Faith so alien, so safe. So dangerous, so powerful and his only hope.
She sat onto her knees, perching in front of him as her small hands cupped his face endearingly. "Look at me, Bhaiya. Look at me, and tell me that she'll be okay.
And even as he dropped his head onto her shoulder, even as his voice broke, he repeated the words.
"She's going to be okay. She will be okay.
The tears finally came, racking through his body as he trembled praying that this time, fate would allow what he desperately needed. And as she supported his weight, Gauri cried too. Inaudibly sobbed, as she hoped and begged to any God that would listen, that faith would heal their wounds, and that salvation would come to those that needed it so desperately.
Their murmurs, like wandering prayers, filled the air as they sat in the darkness.
She will be okay.
From afar, Omkara watched the exchange in silence.
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Sorry if this one is not up to scratch - I had this crazy urge to write, and the aftermath of the MS is still lingering.
I love Shivaay and Gauri together so much, its crazy - how sweet can you imagine their relationship to be in the future? Here's to the first brother x sister-in-law pairing of this series - the compassionate protectors! ❤️
Edited by Innika. - 8 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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