Unshakeable - FF [updated, 21/08/2016; page.7] - Page 5

Hello 😆

To my defense, it didn't take me a whole month do update 😛 And am glad no one has driven Sarcy mad, yet. Anyway, first chapter's here - let's get to the point where everything starts to fall apart. Maybe not the exact point where it happens, we need to maintain some suspense, after all 😳

Thank you to everyone who liked the Prologue and commented on it! I hope this first chapter does not disappoint. Enjoy!

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01

Falling apart.

"Why didn't you try harder?"

Rudra froze in his motions, the tissue he had been wiping over the corner of Omkara's mouth remained rooted to one spot. He was met with a questioning look from red-rimmed eyes. The sight was enough to make Omkara's heart hurt, more than it already did.

"Why didn't you try harder to stop him?" he repeated. "He never refuses you anything."

"He married Anika Didi although, I didn't want him to."

"After they both had mellowed you down," Om reminded him softly. "What happened today?"

Rudra lowered his gaze and let his shoulders slump. Covering his left hand with his own one, Omkara pulled it away from his face and thus, also the tissue. He stared at it, the red spots tainting the otherwise white surface - and didn't feel anything but numbness spread through his veins. They had drawn each other's blood today. Even if not much, it was enough. Unforgiveable. Shivaay was a hothead but what happened to himself? How could he have-

"Bhaiyya wouldn't have listened, today."

Omkara blinked, snapped out of his torturous musings by Rudra's trembling voice. "What?"

His brother still wasn't looking at him. He was shaking ever so slightly though, whether due to the coldness increased by their wet clothes or something else, he couldn't tell. "Bhaiyya wouldn't have listened!" Rudra repeated louder this time and so quickly that it was hard to decipher the words. "He didn't- he just- he was- maybe I should have... I-"

"Oi, Rudra!" Instinctively, Om took Rudra's face in both his hands and forced him to look up. He shook his head at him. "It's... it's fine, okay? Breathe." Rudra's irises were diluted, Om wasn't even sure if he could see him let alone hear him, right now - and his breathing was erratic and too fast. Shit. Was the shock sinking in completely just now? "Come on, it's alright." He tried to keep his tone as firm yet gentle as possible and started to move his hands up and down Rudra's cheeks. "It's okay."

Rudra pressed his lids closed and inhaled slowly. Once. Twice. Though, his body was still shaking it seemed to be a lot less than just a few seconds ago, and Omkara couldn't help but sigh in relief. He hadn't meant to set off an attack for his brother but he should have considered that this might happen. Stress, shock, emotionally aggravating situations - Rudra didn't deal well with those.

"I'm sorry," he said as he run his fingers soothingly through Rudra's hair. "I shouldn't have... It's not your fault."

"He really wouldn't listen," Rudra whispered. This time, when the first tears escaped him, there was no rain to hide them. "Why did he leave, Bhaiyya?"

"I don't know." And he hated the fact that he didn't. Wasn't he supposed to know the answer to all of Rudra's questions?

"We are too dependent on each other," Shivaay had said. "It's not healthy. It'll do us good to stay apart, to learn living without each other, don't you see that?" Omkara had lost it at that point, he admitted. After days of behaving strangely and almost isolating himself, keeping away from work even, Shivaay had let such a bomb blast - out of nowhere, without any apparent reason, on his own birthday.

What had Shivaay been thinking? How could he have uttered such words? The man who had taught him and Rudra that they were allowed to do anything except being on their own wanted suddenly exactly that? Be on his own? What happened to one for all and all for one? Omkara couldn't deal with this.

It had taken him time and so much effort from both his brothers to slowly come out of that dark pit Ishana's betrayal had pushed him into. It was something he didn't want to think about, by now- ugly memories belonged locked away so that they wouldn't hurt him and those he held close to his heart. Equally hard had it been to not let the tensions that had once again awoken within their family with full force get the better of him. Everything had been stressful, difficult to handle.

Shivaay had been his pillar of strength throughout these past months. And now...

"It's my birthday. Let me go, that's all I wish for, today." Yet... His mouth had been saying one thing and his eyes something else, completely. He had always been a bad liar in front of them.

"Will he be back?" Rudra asked in such a small, innocent voice that Om was immediately reminded of a lost child.

Om's chest tightened painfully at the sight. "Yes." He put as much conviction into his tone as he could when he refocused his attention back toward Rudra. "I will get him back." Once I know what his problem is. "Come on." He slapped Rudra very lightly and indicated with his chin toward the door of his room. "Get out of those clothes. Wouldn't want you to get sick."

Rudra didn't move an inch. He wanted to say something more, Om realized, though before he could even start the sound of a throat clearing interrupted him. Mister Oberoi was standing in the door, hands buried in his pockets, expression unreadable. Omkara could feel heat rising in the pit of his stomach at the mere sight of that man.

"I need to talk to you, Omkara," Tej said and looked pointedly at Rudra while doing so.

For a split second Om was tempted to keep Rudra here just to spit the man but dismissed that thought as soon as it appeared. This conversation could turn ugly very quickly and he really didn't need his brother to witness another fight. "Go, change," he told him gently. And although, Rudra still hesitated, eventually he stood up and hurried out, throwing Om a last, worried glance over his shoulder.

"So." Tej walked into the room, each step taken with precaution it seemed though, his whole posture was exuding determination. "Shivaay left."

Of course. Omkara pushed himself up from his bed, suppressing a shudder at how his clothes stuck to him like a second skin, and crossed his arms over his chest. He might not look impressive this way- drenched and slightly shivering and mouth bloody, but it was better than to be consumed by this man's intimidating aura. "Sprinkling salt on wounds, are we, Mister Oberoi?"

"I am just stating the obvious," Tej said nonchalantly. "And I am sure you know what that means, Omkara."

"That you don't have anyone to hand your business over to, I guess."

Tej raised a single eyebrow at him, unimpressed. "Shivaay decided to leave. Your brother," he stressed the term mockingly, "decided to leave you. And that is exactly the reason why I kept telling you not to depend on Shivaay so much. Whether brother or friend, you cannot trust anyone more than yourself."

"And if that someone is a part of yourself?" Om questioned. Though, the moment it rolled over his lips, he clicked his tongue. "As if you could understand this." You, of all people. "You tell me, Mister Oberoi. Did Shivaay leave on his own?"

A question that had been nagging him the whole time. He didn't trust Tej, not in the least. How could he? When Shivaay had been in the hospital fighting between death and life, this man was thinking only about his own gain. Now that Shivaay was gone, instead of trying to find him and bring him back home, here he was, talking about inheritance.

Tej huffed. "Oh, please. I didn't tell him to leave."

"So, you did tell him something," Omkara noted. He didn't miss how Tej stiffened at that and it made his instincts go off, immediately. "What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything that should be of any concern to you," Tej replied coolly. "But I see that you are in no mood to talk. We will continue this in the morning."

Seriously? "Mister Oberoi!" Tej stopped mid-motion, half turned away from him. Omkara barely felt his nails digging into his forearms, too dazed by the waves of anger which were washing over him. "I want to know what you did! You can't just- My brother left, for God's sake!" His voice broke at the end yet, he didn't even care about that. Nothing mattered. Raising his right hand, Om tapped his knuckles against his own chest. "He left me. He left Rudra. Do you understand that?!"

Tej sighed, it sounded more tired than dismissive, though. "People come and go, that is life, Omkara. Sometimes those who are with you aren't even with you. Hence, depending on others is foolish."

Om bit down on his tongue, hard. But the pain wasn't anywhere near enough to distract him from the furious storm raging through his insides. It was a wonder that he had not yet been swept away by it. He knew it. He just knew that this man had to do something with Shivaay's decision. But of course, the coward that he was, he would never admit it openly - though, actions spoke louder than words, didn't they?

He took a step forward and made sure to lock gazes with Tej. Raising his right arm, he pointed his forefinger at the man. "When I find out what your involvement in all of this is, I swear you will regret it more than anything else in your life."

For a split second, there was a shift in Tej's expression. Very subtle, Om almost missed it, but it had been there: unease. And the stoic mask Tej put back into place as if it had never slipped wasn't going to make him forget about the short change. "When?"

"I know you," he replied. "I have no doubt that you had your hand in all of this and I will find it out."

"Rather confident, aren't you?" Tej huffed. "Ever thought about the possibility that your so called brother wanted to leave?"

"No," Om answered without missing a beat. "Never." He used the ensuing, surprised silence to turn his back toward Tej, unable to look at him any longer. His anger could boil over any moment. "Leave."

Though, when his request was being obliged and Tej's distancing steps echoed through his room, instead of relief Omkara felt more and more suffocated. Everything was suffocating in his house, all of a sudden- Choti Maa's wails, Chote Papa's indifference, his own mother's silence, Dadi's broken state, Priyanka's crying, Tej's selfishness, the fragrance Shivaay's presence had left behind... it was too much. He was being crushed beneath all of this, and he couldn't bear it. He couldn't-

"Take care of everything and everyone for me, Om. Keep them together in my absence. I know you'll manage the responsibility better than I."

He couldn't. Shivaay was out there, God knew in what condition, without any support and Omkara couldn't just take in his position like this. Never. He couldn't give Tej this satisfaction. He couldn't betray his and Shivaay's relationship like this. He couldn't go against his own principles.

He simply couldn't.

"Is Sahil asleep?"

Out of the corner of his eyes, Shivaay saw Anika nod. He didn't turn toward her, instead he pressed his forehead tightly against the cool lattice of the window and focused his attention back toward the night. It had stopped raining but the smell of wet earth still lingered in the air, strong and almost soothing.

"You know," he heard Anika say, hesitant yet firm. "You can call. You're worried, aren't you?"

Of course, he was. "That's a stupid question."

She huffed indignantly. "Well, I am sorry that even my questions are not up to your standards."

Shivaay pressed his eyes closed and took a deep breathe. "I am really not in the mood for this, right now, Anika."

"And neither am I, okay?" She walked up to him until she was standing right next to him and leaned sideways against the wall. Crossing her arms over her chest, she frowned at him. "You said to trust you without asking any questions and I did. Here we are. Care to tell me why exactly you decided to attempt suicide?"

Shivaay turned his head a little and looked up at her lazily. "Suicide?"

"Someone who refuses to eat and drink for days is on his way to commit suicide," she explained. "And what you are doing is probably even worse - look at you! It's been what? A few hours? And you look like... like this."

He should probably be offended but he couldn't bring himself to be. She was correct, after all, he looked miserable, not as much as he felt but still. And it wasn't only because of the ugly bruise he was sporting on his jaw- that one, he truly deserved. He was emotionally drained. Numbness had spread through his insides, the only thing he could feel was the burning ache rippling through his chest whenever his thoughts strayed toward his last encounter with his brothers.

God, he had never hated himself so much as he had in that one moment - when he had been responsible for Omkara snapping and losing control over himself. When he had been responsible for the tears and the pain in Rudra's eyes. Never had he felt more despicable than then.

"When he is upset with me," Shivaay whispered hoarsely, "Om would try to shut me out of his room by switching off the lights and hiding under his blankets- but he wouldn't sleep the whole night. Then, in the morning, early on, he would sculpt something randomly, I'd join him in his studio, bring him coffee and we'd talk it out." Anika's gaze was burning on him yet, she didn't interrupt and he took it as a sign to continue. "When Rudra's upset, he doesn't eat, at all, would go to bed with an empty stomach and I'd make him breakfast the next day and bring it to his room and... he forgives easily, actually."

Shivaay turned his head back and pressed his forehead harder against the lattice, eyes shut tightly. He didn't even bother to control the burning behind his lids. "Who's going to make sure he'll eat something, now? Who's going to force Om to sleep?"

Gentle fingers rested against his shoulder. "Why don't you just tell them-?"

"I can't do that!" he cut her off harshly as he whirled around. She didn't even flinch, just stared straight at him, unimpressed. "I can't, okay?" Some things were better off hidden in dark closets to never see the light.

"And..." Anika spread out her hands in an expecting gesture. "For how long will this go on? When will we go back?"

I don't know. He really didn't. To be honest, he hadn't thought any of this through - he had needed to leave that mansion and that had been all his mind had processed. And here they were, back in the house that belonged to Sahil with nothing on them apart from some meager belongings and a bit of money. Though, he would figure out something. If he had come this far without breaking completely, he would walk the rest of the path, as well. He needed to.

Anika sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, don't tell me anything! But mark my words, Shivaay, you are making a mistake. You're not just hurting yourself but your family. Your brothers."

Covering one half of his face, Shivaay stared up at the roof. "Can you leave me alone for a while? Just..."

She grimaced, clearly unhappy, but nodded. "Whatever. But don't think this is over. You told me what Omkara and Rudra do when they are upset with you - and what do you do when they are? No sleep, no food, and isolating yourself." Her voice got softer at the end. "And I am telling you again, don't do this to yourself and them."

When he didn't reply, she finally left. For a split second, Shivaay even felt bad for not giving her proper answers but he suppressed the guilt quickly before it could grow. She would calm down, eventually, and accept his stubborn silence.

"Dammit all," he cursed under his breath, leaned with his back against the wall and instinctively fished out his phone from his pocket. He stared at the dark screen, thumb hovering over it, heart beating furiously in his chest. A call. Just a simple call to ask a servant about Omkara and Rudra. What were they doing, right now? Had Om managed to get Rudra out of his wet clothes before he caught a cold? Had he, himself, found some rest at Rudra's side? Were they thinking about him?

His lips lifted upward into a bitter smile. Of course, they were. And they wouldn't take his decision just like that- he just prayed that they wouldn't do anything stupid.

As he was about to put the device away, the screen flared up with a new message.

Have you joined the game or actually left it? Riddles upon riddles, huh.'

Shivaay read the words once before letting his phone fall down with a thud. Tilting his head slightly, he looked back out the latticed window, chest tight with dread, mind filled with worry.

Omkara bit down on his lower lip when the urge to call out threatened to overwhelm him. Instead, he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, one leg pulled up while the other stayed down. He reached out and touched Rudra's wet hair tentatively. His brother didn't stir, thankfully, and he remained sitting where he was, unmoving and taking in Rudra's form. He was turned on his right side, both his knees almost reached up to his stomach as if he had tried to curl into a ball but had been unable to do so fully. And he was clutching the blankets to his chest like a little kid.

Om felt his heart give a painful tug at the sight.

I am doing worse than Shivaay.

The thought was sudden and unexpected but... absolutely true. Shivaay, at the very least, had informed everyone that he was about to leave them. But Om? He was planning to just go without looking back, without telling anyone and that too, not even a whole day after Shivaay had done exactly that. What made this out of him? But if he were to inform his family, first, he wouldn't be able to go. They wouldn't let him, and unlike Shivaay he wouldn't bear it to refuse Rudra.

Initially, Omkara had wanted to take his Dumbbell Oberoi with him. Apart from the time Om had spent in rehabilitation, they had never been separated from each other for too long. And Rudra was already struggling with Shivaay's absence, adding Om's own to the count? It could break him and no one would be around to collect the pieces. Would anyone even care?

Yet, Om didn't know what exactly he was going to do and how. Where he was going to live, how he would try to get to the bottom of this mess, how long it would take... Hence, why he wasn't ready to drag Rudra along with him into an uncertain future outside the protection that the Oberoi name offered. Furthermore, he couldn't do that to his family, to Dadi, his mother and sister - they couldn't lose all three of them at once.

His mind agreed yet, his heart ached in protest.

Om leaned forward, brushed away a few stray strand and pressed a kiss against Rudra's forehead. He blinked a few times, trying to lessen the prickling sensation behind his lids but gave up when the first, traitorous tears slipped out. "I'm sorry," he whispered against the now warm skin. "But I'll be back soon." Once I have Shivaay back.

When Om leaned back a little, a movement at the edge of his vision caught his attention. He looked up, surprised, to find his mother standing in the door to Shivaay's room. Jhanvi's gaze swept over him and Rudra, wandered toward the bag that was lying on the floor a little away from his foot and she chuckled without any humor. "Thought I might find you here."

Her voice was raspy and the words slurred, definite proofs that she had been drinking. Again. Omkara swallowed around the thick lump that had formed in his throat and lowered his own gaze to where he could see Rudra's chest rise and sink. Damn.

"I'm not going to tell you to stay, Omkara," Jhanvi suddenly said into the darkness, catching him off guard. It was dark, she was drunk and he hadn't explained anything, yet she was able to connect the dots? "But I will ask you to think about it thoroughly."

He grimaced at that. Think? There was nothing to think about, especially not in this house where he could barely breathe "Mom, sometimes we... just have to do things."

"And what about Rudra?" Om stiffened but refused to reply. "Shivaay thought he had to leave. You think you have to leave. Between both of yours "we have to" you're going to crush Rudra."

As if I don't understand that. "You'll be here, won't you?"

Jhanvi walked up to him, slowly and steadily, until she was standing right behind him and touched his hair gently. "I am not you or Shivaay."

Of course. Omkara exhaled shakily. "He's stronger than we think." Which was true. At times, Om was sure that Rudra was the strongest out of them.

"I hope you can say the same for yourself," Jhanvi whispered quietly. She patted his hair once before removing her fingers completely, turning around and going back the way she came from. "It's your decision, Omkara. I'll be waiting for your return."

"You won't ask anything?" he wondered confusedly.

His mother's steps stopped for a moment as she hummed thoughtfully. "I... understand, you know? Living between these four walls can be suffocating." And with that, she was gone as abruptly as she had appeared - almost like she had never been there. Omkara couldn't help but question whether she, in her condition, had fully grasped the situation or not. If she had, then her mild reaction indeed surprised him. What was he supposed to make of it?

Om let his shoulders slump and brushed his left hand over his face. He needed to hurry. If his mother was still roaming around the halls, other people might be doing the same, as well. Though, when he tried to get up, he froze mid-motion. What the... Looking down he realized: the hand he had rested on Rudra's forehead had slipped down so that Rudra had pressed his cheek against Om's palm, practically nuzzling it.

His stomach churned sickeningly. Even asleep that boy wouldn't make it easy for him, would he? Damn it. Om carefully pulled away, straightened up and with a last, mournful glance at his sleeping brother grabbed his bag and whirled around. If he remained here any longer, his resolve would shatter.