I can't believe I am putting this up. I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. But... I often write to vent out my frustration, and yes I needed to vent, badly, lol. This story basically revolves around the Obros and deals with a possible separation and cominging back together - the ladies are there, as well, of course, but... yeah, you will find out 😆
It's a Prologue. It shouldn't have been this long but three parts' Prologue, it was unavoidable. You will be confused, I guess - don't worry if that is the case 😛
A last warning: Don't expect me to update too regularly. Complaints go straight to Sarcy.
Dedication: They know whom this is for 😆
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Unshakable.
I have the right to be angry. I have the right to be upset.
But never will I have the right to doubt.
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00
Prologue.
***
"I am pretty sure Rudra did this."
Shivaay's movements stopped and with it the noises of the knife hitting the chopping board rhythmically which had been filling the whole kitchen for the past minutes. He barely suppressed an annoyed sigh. Again? Glancing over his shoulder, he raised both his brows at Anika who was leaning back against the fridge at the other side of the room, arms crossed over her chest.
"So? What's the use in talking about this?"
She glared at him, incredulity coloring her features. "So, you don't care that your so called brother practically ruined your image?"
Shivaay banged the knife against the countertop and pressed his palm tightly over it as he leaned over a little, gaze focused on the wall in front of him. Sparks of irritation were flickering through his veins and he wasn't sure for how long he could keep them from lighting a fire inside of him. "You just assume he did. Why? Because you saw him roaming around our restaurant?"
"It's not that far-fetched!" Anika insisted. "He is capable of it, we both know that. He threw out your parents without a care, he blocked all your ways to establish yourself in the business world on your own before, he cut you off-"
"I know," he gritted out through clenched teeth. Why couldn't she just stop? Didn't she see that he was in no mood to talk about this whole mess?
"And Omkara didn't do anything in your defense." Apparently, she couldn't see it. "One thing, only one thing you asked of him and he couldn't give it to you. And now, he keeps mum and watches this whole drama as if it has nothing to do with him!"
"Anika. Stop."
"Why?!" Steps came closer to him until he could feel her presence right behind him. "After everything these two have done... They are your brothers, I get it, but if Sahil does something wrong, I don't tolerate it, either! Have you ever considered that they have changed? That they are not your brothers anymore but-"
He whirled around, right forefinger raised in warning, and Anika stumbled back, caught off-guard. "Enough. You hear me? That's enough." His fingers slowly closed into a fist which he pressed against his chest, and he inclined his head to the side, breaking off their eye contact. "You're upset and hurt, I understand that." And how he did. "But I won't listen to more of this."
Anika huffed, it sounded more tired than anything else. "Why? Just... why?"
An image flickered through his mind. The vast grounds of the Oberoi mansion in the middle of the night, heavy rain wreaking havoc and the howls of the wind so immensely loud. He could still see as clear as glass Omkara sitting on the ground opposite himself, wiping away blood from the corner of his mouth, the depths of his eyes alight with fury. And Rudra standing between them, tears hidden by the rain, and pleading them to just Stop.
Damn. He parted his lips and took short, quick breaths, barely noticing how his fingertips were digging into his chest. It hurt, still. So damn much. As if someone was scratching their nails over his heart, fast and repeatedly, until it bled and bled and bled...
"Shiv-"
He shook his head when Anika tried to move forward, probably to support him judging from the panic shadowing her expression. Determined, he raised his chin and stared at her without blinking. "They can hit me, push me down, or hurt me as much as they want and I might be angry and disappointed." In their choices. "But... they are my brothers, no matter what. I can doubt anyone, Anika, but not them. You don't doubt yourself." And they are part of myself.
Anika stiffened. She didn't say anything for a long while though, finally let her shoulders drop in defeat. "I hope you won't be disappointed anymore."
I won't.
###
"I don't know whether you are stubborn or plainly disrespectful."
"Oh?"
Omkara shifted a little to the side when the woman sat down next to him on the steps of the temple. He lowered his chin and let his bangs hide his face yet, he could feel her burning gaze scrutinizing him. Not for the first time since he had stepped out of his self-made arts' studio earlier he wondered what exactly he was doing here.
"If you hadn't wanted to be found by me, I wouldn't have found you, Omkara. I think we both know that very well."
"The heart is such a fickle thing," he murmured. "It hates and loves with a passion. Once you feel, it's difficult to completely unfeel, no matter what it is." Thoughtfully, he added, "Curiosity killed the cat, didn't it?"
"You are not a cat, though."
Turning his head toward her, Omkara let a bitter smile unfold on his lips. "If you say so, Ishana. Bela. Mala. Whatever." Her guilty flinch didn't bring him any ounce of satisfaction. "You wanted to talk. You said..."
"...it's about Rudra, yes," she finished for him, her smile matching his own. "You wouldn't have spared me a second thought otherwise."
His insides tightened with dread. "So, what? It was a lie?"
Ishana sighed. "No." She rested her lower arms on her knees and stared straight ahead. "I want to understand."
Oh. So, she wasn't going to offer him any kind of information he didn't already have? He should have known. But was he to be blamed? Their last, accidental meeting had been days ago and he had refused to be in her company for even a second yet, when she had mentioned that she wanted to talk about his brother... It had been nagging at him every moment until he gave in and let her find him.
"If Shivaay or Rudra-" She paused, took a deep breath and tried again, "I they were to apologize, you would forgive them within a heartbeat, wouldn't you? They wouldn't even have to apologize."
Instinctively, Omkara jumped to his feet, his back toward her. His hands were shaking at his sides and his heart was pounding so loudly against his ribcage that he was surprised Ishana couldn't hear it. How dare she? Just how? "You are not them!"
"But they hurt you even more than I did!" Ishana shouted, so close that he didn't have to see her to know that she had stood up, as well. "And I don't get a single chance to prove myself but they will be forgiven immediately?"
"Don't!" he pressed out forcefully. "Don't compare yourself to them!"
Fingers wrapped themselves around his left forearm and turned him around to face a desperately furious Ishana. "Why not? You loved me and you loved them! If I hurt you they did it, too! Shivaay abandoned you when you needed him and Rudra? He... what he did, especially to your mom-"
"She's also his mom," Omkara cut her off icily. "And not loved, I love them."
"Even after everything," she said, her voice shaking, eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "And I don't deserve one chance?" Once, the sight had tugged at his heartstrings. Today, there was only numbness.
It isn't the same, he wanted to scream. Instead, what came out was, "Do you? Chances are earned. Have you earned yours?"
"H-have they?" she asked in return.
"They are my brothers." And that was explanation enough, wasn't it?
Ishana stared at him, and was it his imagination or was that a spark of pity in her eyes? "They are not the same, anymore."
Omkara chuckled lowly. "Times may change but our relationship doesn't, that is the only thing I truly trust in."
Though... Omkara lifted his right hand and stared at it. At times, he could still feel the tingle that had been left behind after this very palm had connected with Rudra's cheek. It was a testament for what he had done, whether justified or not, horrible and unbearable, taunting him again and again paired with that flicker of hurt that had rushed over Rudra's features, only shortly but it had been burnt in his mind like a scar. Other times, he could still hear the sickening noise these knuckles had made upon connecting with Shivaay's jaw. Shivaay had provoked him and that was the only factor that made this whole, cursed memory digestible.
Ishana was watching his actions intensely though, before she could have said anything he whispered, "Circumstances can be bad but not my brothers. We are one whether together or not. But you..." He buried his hands in his pants' pockets and turned away from her. "We were an illusion. Everything was. And illusions shatter and remain broken."
There was nothing from her side and he almost believed that she had finally given up. But when he reached the last step, she shouted after him, "A fraction of the trust you have in your brothers! I will earn a fraction of it and it will be enough! And for your sake I hope your trust is not unfounded!"
Never.
###
"You know, talking requires talking."
Rudra frowned in confusion when Soumya didn't even look up and kept stirring her chai with the spoon. Her chin was resting on the back of her left hand and she had her lips pursed thoughtfully. What was going through that head of hers? And why had she been silent for the past ten minutes although, she had been the one who insisted that they needed to talk. She had refused to move from in front of his office until he finally budged- even he could take only so much after days of constant nagging and prodding.
"I know," she said, at last. "And I am waiting for you to talk."
"Huh?" What the...
She stared straight at him, a silent warning burning in her eyes. "I have been very patient, I believe. I thought you might open up by yourself if given time but you... are just unbelievable."
Unintentionally, Rudra tensed. Of course. He risked a discreet look throughout the barely occupied caf, making sure that no one was paying them any attention. "What's there to talk about?"
"You mean apart from the 360 degree change in your personality you try to feed everyone?"
Oh, someone was in a sassy mood, today. Pushing away the sandwich he hadn't even touched, Rudra leaned back in his chair and stared down at his arms which he had outstretched over the table. What was there to explain? Even if he managed to explain, it wouldn't change what abhorrent things he had done. Would reasons absolve him of his sins? He didn't believe so.
Soumya reached forward without warning and covered his hands with her own, a sad smile dancing around the corners of her mouth. "Do you know what I see right now?" He didn't reply, just stared at their joined hands and let some of her warmth wash over himself. She clearly didn't expect any response, anyway. "A child that wants nothing more than to hide away from the world. But where will you hide? You don't have your haven with you, anymore. Your brothers."
Had his muscles managed to relax somewhat, earlier, then they were even stiffer now than before. There was an unbearably burning sensation in his chest and it took all his willpower not to gasp in pain. Withdrawing his hands, he crossed his arms over his chest almost protectively. "Just because we aren't physically close doesn't mean I don't have them with me."
"It's not just physical distance," Soumya disagreed. "They are beyond upset with you. Bade Bhaiyya even refused to see you recently, didn't he?"
Rudra flinched as if she had hit him. Yes, his Bhaiyya hadn't even wanted to see him- at least, he didn't come out when Rudra had been roaming around his newly opened restaurant, not even when he had asked someone to call him. Rudra had expected him to be angry but it stung, nonetheless.
"And I heard what Majhle Bhaiyya did the last time you saw him."
Forcefully, he suppressed the urge to touch his right cheek. Sometimes, he could swear it was still stinging - though, it could never be as bad as the fire rippling through his veins whenever that memory stirred in the pits of his mind. He didn't even know where O was, whether he was fine or not, by now.
"That's why I want you to come clean," Soumya continued. "If trust is once broken, it can never be the same again. But even so, you might be able to save something and renew your relationship."
At that, his head snapped up. "No, you..." He watched her intently, his right eyebrow raised high. "What makes you so sure that I have good reasons for what I am doing?"
Soumya blinked at him, surprised. "I, well. I know you!"
He smiled crookedly at her. "And you think the two people who basically raised me don't?"
This clearly caught her off-guard. "Yes, uh, I mean... they are pretty angry with you, aren't they?"
"They can be angry and upset. They can be angry and upset but over their non-existent doubts I do not fret." And he truly didn't no matter how many nights he stayed awake, plagued by thoughts of Shivaay and Omkara. Trust was the foundation of any relationship and theirs wouldn't shake. "I don't put my trust wholeheartedly with anyone except them and they do the same."
She didn't protest this time although, she was still doubtful, he could see it. "Fine. But will you tell me what is up with you? What do you want, Rudra?"
"My brothers," slipped out of him before he could even think about it.
"By antagonizing them and befriending their enemies?"
Ouch. "You should get that filter for your mouth," he muttered petulantly. Though, he added, "And I might not be as cunning as Bhaiyya or as intelligent as O, but I am not stupid. Things like these require patience and care."
Soumya frowned. "Like what? And what for?"
"Success." He leaned against the large window to his right and gazed out into the sky darkened by rain clouds. "They think you are the weak link. They think they can use you. They think you do exactly as they want you to." His smile widened a little. "But it's you who has them all dancing according to your tunes."
Soumya hummed thoughtfully, the barest flicker of surprise rushing over her features. "You have changed. The old Rudra wouldn't have talked like this." She sighed tiredly. "I just wanted to tell you: You are not alone, okay? I am here. I want to help."
"And I appreciate it."
But I need them.
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