Good morning, girls!!
My friend, I am trying to understand this post. I think I understood some of it, but I am very sure I am not getting all of it. So, I will throw in my 2 centsš I will preface by saying this, we are perceive things differently based on our experiences, where we are in our life, our general outlook on life and to some extent what we are going throughš So, nobody should get chappals for what any one of us feels or sharesšš¼ OK, that said........
I won't be able to put Arvind in a more articulate way than what our very own Deltablues said in her tinder wala post ( DB ji, I didn't touch that post till now as I thought it was something about social mediaš² and tech generally makes me anxious, but I would have missed out a lot if I didn't read itš) So, here is what she said
They have crafted Arvind to be such an integral thread of the Rathore unit that they sort of retrieved into their own individual shells after he was goneāloving and supporting each other but only that.
This is very accurate in describing this integral character in Rathore household. Now, how such an inspiring person will affect each one of the people around him is very different. Let me try and explain....... For Arpita, he may have been on an equal footing, her college mate, her friend, her lover and her husband 50-50 relationship. She may not have worshipped the ground he walked on, as let us face it, they were hubby-wife, I am sure they had their own set of misunderstandings, bickerings etc. In other words, she knows the good and bad about him. This is not to degrade him in Arpita's brain, but as I said, he is more of her partner. She grieved and is still grieving the loss of such a friend, confidante, husband and a partner. We were told she had pyrophobia, she went through severe depression. We can see Aryan and Narmada constantly trying to protect and shield her from anything to do with Arvind, his memories, conversation about him etc. Aryan is fiercely protective when he asked Imlie to back off during that interview with his hands tied and asked her to let Arpita leave and he would answer her questions. The normally docile Narmada jumped up to protect her cub yesterday at that breakfast table and asked BM to back off.
Both Narmada and Aryan very delicately asked her at the table, one holding her in an embrace and the other tenderly holding her hand what her thoughts are about marriageš Such a beautiful sceneš¤ They didn't bulldoze her thoughts or wishes, they didn't impose their wishes/wants. All they and Arpita agreed to is to meet this prospective groomā¤ļø I don't think they said it is BMs rishta vs Imlie's nonsense. Once she agreed, Aryan said the sooner the better. If I imagine my brother in Aryan's place, he probably would have said the same, the sooner the better, as he doesn't want to delay his sister from being normal againā¤ļøš
And I never felt Arpita is a meek girl. She is not loud like Imlie or forceful like Aryan, but she is strong. While Aryan protects the family from external forces, Arpita does the same from the inside. She worries about Aryan's grief, his psyche, his happiness. She fights with him, plays with him to keep their family together ( I mean emotional bonding), she cares for her mother. She warned Aryan against any wrongdoing where Imlie is concerned about forcing the wedding. Does this look like a meek girl? I certainly don't see her as meek. She is not flamboyant, but not shy to speak up when she needs to.š¤Is she someone who needs protection from her "arrogant brother"? Heck, NO!
As to why she is not voicing her opinion clearly I thought she was pretty clear. She said three things: 1. She is ready to look at her prospects 2. She is ready to meet people 3. She hasn't interacted enough with Sundar to have " love" for him. Remember, she is in a very difficult state now, emotionally she will question herself back and forth " am I emotionally ditching my husband as he is gone? am I selfish to find happiness for myself? ", so she won't and can't be any more forceful than thisš¤¢
Now, moving on to why Aryan is more affected. Aryan has the survivors guilt, he thinks he should have been the one who should have died. Also remember he had hero- worshipped his jeeju, he is that father figure, his bhayya, his confidante, his shield, his everything. Unlike Arpita. for Aryan, Arvind is on the pedestalā¤ļø. Like our Mango ji wrote a few days ago about all the practical things he had to do after Arvind's passing while bearing a huge guilt as a survivor. More than his own pain, he has to watch his sister without a partner so early in life, he has to watch his mother's helplessness seeing her daughter with no normal life. So, if he puts them in their place and look at the whole situation , and each juncture, if only he was the fallen one, if only.... if only.......he multiplies his grief several foldšš¤This guy needs a bear hugš¤š Like he said during that incident on the road in the rain, you can bear your own grief, but how can you bear the helplessness when you see your loved ones pain? He can do not a thing to embrace them and take away that painšThe reason I am saying all of this, is I am one of those people who compound my anguish, my worries in this manner, along with rumination. So, I understand where he is coming from perfectlyš¤
I will end with a personal anecdote. An aunt of mine who was an inspiration to me, instrumental in how I deal with my life observing and understanding how she lead her life, passed recently. She asked me to make her end of life decisions. I agonized over and over, I still do trying to find a balance between what she wanted and what I selfishly wanted and how I made decisions. My cousins( her children ) with whom she lived during her final years, are at peace with her passing. I am not, I am still grieving, still agonizing. Did I do the right thing? Can I say that my cousins have any less grief and that I have more grief? Absolutely not. They found ways to reconcile her passing. I haven't yetš
Sorry, I don't know if I addressed your question. But, when I saw this post, I thought I should share my 2 or 20 cents worth.
I am not going to say anything about Imlie and her frivolous opinions when deep emotions such as above are at stakeš
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
