Double standards- edited topic : note : 15

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714873

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#21

First of all my thanks to D for appreciating, next i will like to make few points on which some people questioned me. I want to make it clear at first that read it with context to this post only NOT forum topics and other things.

Indira is just doing what a member of family should have done. In India, if a joint family is there, many times all the sons of family are not equally good and earning. In that case usually one son takes charge of whole family and nourishes them, and it is taken as their duty, we can't label them as any mahanta or award them with big prizes. There is a big margin between Duties and Humanity.

Duty means its your Moral Responsibility rather than your pleasure (searched by google) so that its again not questionable 😆 so what Indira did was her duties, she has blood relations with that family and if she will not take care of that who else will? Just because she is a girl can not only make her great i am sorry, if all the family members turn out to be cripple does that mean the only person who can take care of them will fled away? Definately NO. The society made relations to bind individuals and distribute them their duties, and a person offering his/her duty can never be proclaimed Mahan just because of the tag "i am a lady".
Humanity means the action of helping someone without having any moral obligations. I didn't wanted to elaborate but i will be taking instances from HD itself. Zara M. Khan when stood for little Indu not even having any connections with her is called humanity, the care of Indira towards Ishaan, Munna, Mandira, Kutumb, Inder can NEVER come under this but its is uner DUTY. The act of Rishi standing for raped Mandira against His own brother comes under Humanity. Zara was about to shot Malik Khan being her husband, also comes under Humanity, this can be considered greatness not just ones act of serving her own family

Indira did many things but they were ones which any responsible daughter would have done, mere standing for own blood cant make a difference. That why nation awards army men who sacrifice themselves leaving sentiments and emotions associated with their family apart NOT the ones who stay in their homes and struggle among themselves. We must first understand the definition of greatness, I call Zara Great because she stood for a nation NOT indira Who kept fighting among the struggles created by herself in her home only.

Edited by Pari117 - 12 years ago

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aadk

@aadk

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#22

Walden,u hv cum up wt a vry gud question.I believe dat mor than expecting change frm anyone' side,the change must first begin in d mindsets of the girls.The act of taking care of the family must nt become another responsibility on their heads,rather it must be a part of their lives,then alone the society wud change the way it looks at women!'Charity begins at home!'-ds quote goes wel for al d girls out here.As far as HD and indira is concernd,walden here we cn look at it in either ways-The show wud hav never been d so clld hatke sort of shw if it was abt a man doing al ds stuffs for hs family.Ds somehow adds fuel to d already existing stereotypes.On the other hand,v cn also considr the show as a means of portraying a character lyk indira who takes care of her family irrespective of d already existing stereotypes and maybe it wud inspire many odr ladies out here!If indira was a man,dfntly she wud have been stil praisd bt ppl wud nevr be in awe of hr!there lies d differenc for me n v need to change dat first!

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TBDRESS

@TBDRESS

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: Pari117
First of all my thanks to D for appreciating, next i will like to make few points on which some people questioned me. I want to make it clear at first that read it with context to this post only NOT forum topics and other things.

Pari, thanks for bring the discussion back to the original topic. The scope of my question is very limited- I don't want to get into Indira's mahanta in taking care of her good-for-nothing family. My question was geared more towards gender stereotypes that exist in our society.

So to get back to the orginal discussion, what prompted me to make this topic is that I've read many people call Indira the "son" of the family. My question is why can't Indira be the daughter of the family and manage the household? Like you referenced in your reply, what is so special about women taking care of their families?

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TBDRESS

@TBDRESS

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: aadk
Walden,u hv cum up wt a vry gud question.I believe dat mor than expecting change frm anyone' side,the change must first begin in d mindsets of the girls.The act of taking care of the family must nt become another responsibility on their heads,rather it must be a part of their lives,then alone the society wud change the way it looks at women!'Charity begins at home!'-ds quote goes wel for al d girls out here.As far as HD and indira is concernd,walden here we cn look at it in either ways-The show wud hav never been d so clld hatke sort of shw if it was abt a man doing al ds stuffs for hs family.Ds somehow adds fuel to d already existing stereotypes.On the other hand,v cn also considr the show as a means of portraying a character lyk indira who takes care of her family irrespective of d already existing stereotypes and maybe it wud inspire many odr ladies out here!If indira was a man,dfntly she wud have been stil praisd bt ppl wud nevr be in awe of hr!there lies d differenc for me n v need to change dat first!

@bold 1: You have perfectly summarized the essence of my post:)

But this is exactly what HD is doing. She was waiting her whole life for Vidit to come back and take over the family responsibiity- Why??

@bold 2: Indira would have been a good way to inspire women but not the way she was potrayed. She was constantly complaining about the fact that she had to work and support her family! She lived a miserable life and blamed it on having to support her family! How can this inspire women? If anything, it would scare women away from ever working and supporting their families!

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714873

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: Walden

Pari, thanks for bring the discussion back to the original topic. The scope of my question is very limited- I don't want to get into Indira's mahanta in taking care of her good-for-nothing family. My question was geared more towards gender stereotypes that exist in our society.

So to get back to the orginal discussion, what prompted me to make this topic is that I've read many people call Indira the "son" of the family. My question is why can't Indira be the daughter of the family and manage the household? Like you referenced in your reply, what is so special about women taking care of their families?

i saw people referring me and my comment so needed to elaborate the meaning of mahanta.

its just that we are so used of seeing men at upper hand that we cant stop a girl comparing with a man every now and then, this statement of calling indira "Son" only proves that somewhere we havent moved on, and even today too we consider a Man as standard of comparison and take pride or honour being a man, but somewhere We are forgetting our identity in this flow, we forget that calling Indira a Son is only boosting up the prestige of manhood. this has once again proved Men still dominate over the society alas!! we arent parallel yet, thats why we are ashamed of calling ourself a proud daughter

Edited by Pari117 - 12 years ago

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TBDRESS

@TBDRESS

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: Pari117

i saw people referring me and my comment so needed to elaborate the meaning of mahanta.

I understand:) Your inital reply was spot on- exactly the kind of discussion I was looking for!

And yes- treating men as the gold standard-- so true, otherwise we wouldn't hear things like "ghar ka beta ban ke dikhaya."

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aadk

@aadk

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#27

Walden,i do agree wt u dat the portrayal of indira has nt been perfect,the way it cud inspire soo many young ladies.Her constant saying dat she was the one supporting her family was just to reinforce d fact dt ds serial is difft frm d rest,and al ds does no gud other than amplifying the already existing differences between men n women.But somewhere,at the end of the day,her act of staying by her family irrespfctive of al the ungrateful souls that they are,does need appreciation. I wud make it clear here again dat am only referring to appreciation here,nt greatness or mahanta!Al d characters hav dr own flaws as wel as d qualities that touch us!So dfntly indira has not been dat perffct charactr,bt stil somewhere stil she does need to be appreciatd wch i wud hav done for anyone in her plc,no matter if it was a man or a woman!

Edited by aadk - 12 years ago

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TBDRESS

@TBDRESS

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: aadk
Walden,i do agree wt u dat the portrayal of indira has nt been perfect,the way it cud inspire soo many young ladies.Her constant saying dat she was the one supporting her family was just to reinforce d fact dt ds serial is difft frm d rest,and al ds does no gud other than amplifying the already existing differences between men n women.But somewhere,at the end of the day,her act of staying by her family irrespfctive of al the ungrateful souls that they are,do need appreciation. I wud make it clear here again dat am only referring to appreciation here,nt greatness or mahanta!Al d characters hav dr own flaws as wel as d qualities that touch us!So dfntly indira has not been dat perffct charactr,bt stil somewhere stil she does need to be appreciatd wch i wud hav done for anyone in her plc,no matter if it was a man or a woman!

Absolutely! Indira was definitely a flawed character with positive and negative personality traits. But instead of appreciating the positive and showing us how Indira improved on the negatives, after the intial 2-3 months of the show, the writers turned her character into someone god-like who deserved parades and salutes in CC! The depth and insight that the first few months provided was completely lost and was replaced by Indira devi ki jai for her so called selflesness and nonsensical hitlergiri! And by making all the other characters so negative, honestly I couldn't appreciate Indira for continuing to suppor these people.

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Heema22

@Heema22

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#29

QUOTE Walden

@bold 2: Me too. I watch this show for entertainment- I don't expect to come across anything insightful or enlightening- I'm happy with the brainless romance!. But there are a lot of people who consider Indira to be a perfect role model for women and I have serious issues with that! People seem to believe that this show is breaking barriers in terms of its potrayal of women but my concern is that this show is doing just the opposite- propogating negative stereotypes about women and men! I wish more people would treat the show like you do- a mere source of entertainment- withoiut draawing any conclusions about real life, women empowerment, love etc!

@ bold This the only reason why I watch HD. I think this couple did wonders for me. I was hooked with thier on screen relationship. Very cute and very real !! Very entertaining ! This was the frist Indian soap I watched and I am hooked to the date . I tried, others but they do not spark any light for me so I stayed with HD and to this day I am hoping things will get better. Professionally I am trained to stay with it till last gasp or" its not over till it's over !!!" principal , so I am still watching. And Hoping INSHI reruns in my life!!

@ Underline statement .This is very true and funny . I read this many many times !! I usually read that as funny post !. Please everyone I adore Rati and I am her fan so save your time to do not bash me!!!

Indira is no where near role model for any Female. Like Pari said she did exactly what any responsible girl would have done for family and in India many girls do not get married because thier only income supports their family, I call this "Balidan" and I admire those girls. But I think every one needs to get their own life. Indira took great deal of Abuse from family . This is against my principals I do not support any abusive relationships at any level . We ladies must have self respect ! She slapped every one around her , many time with out any reason. People wrote that as being funny? I was shocked . Do we need see this kind of abuse on TV? Is this role modeling for us ?

I do not call her charecter his role model.but she had lots of likable traits and we all adore her for them. She sacrefied her happiness for her family, only saints can do that. 25 yr old girl in love , in real life acts differently. She denied happiness for herself . Her happiness was always less important to her!. Many times she told us in the show that she writes her own faith , I always laugh at this because we know what happened!!! So Indira is no where near as role model for girls who are looking for one on TV show but RATI sure is !!!! Hats off to her and her very adoring personality !!! I will make her as my role model and learn lots of thing from her!!!

Edited by Heema22 - 12 years ago

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aadk

@aadk

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#30

Yes,I agree wt you walden dat d show wud hav been a perfct way to inspire us,if the indira repeating to herslf again n again that she is the breadwinner of the family inspite of being a girl was slowly changed to the indira who affirmed dat she was doing no big thing by taking d responsibility of d family bcs today if women on one hand cn fight for equal rights wt men,dn why nt rather take d family responsibility on their shoulders and begin d fight for equality from their side.Bt hoping such a story line from the HD CVs is just mere foolishnes. And yes,i agree wt u dat making d rest of d characters negative to highlighp one particular character was another blunder by them!

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Double standards- edited topic : note : 15 - Page 3

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