Double standards- edited topic : note : 15 - Page 2

Originally posted by: Adhyaay-Chapter

Double standards indeed!

The answer to your question is no. No one would have looked again in the direction of Sharma Nivas if the family had been supported by a son. Because these are the stereotypes that are alive and kicking thanks to more than 90% of the TV shows and film produced in India. Watch one Sooraj Barjatya film or one Balaji soap and you will believe that the feminist movement never happened. Empowerment and emancipation take on whole new meanings.

A couple of 'modern' women in my workplace (which is in Mumbai), have opinions like wearing saris is regressive, making rotis is regressive, and so on. However, when it comes to marriage, especially in the arranged marriage setup, they want the guy to be well-settled. Which means he should have his own house, a car, and an income which exceeds the girl's income. The explanation is: its still a man's world and there are some things that only a guy should do. A convenient sort of feminism which is tailored for the occasion.

This, in a way, harks back to the exchange on stereotypes that you were having with AllThingsNice in the other thread. I remember reading something on these lines there. Sadly, though, the stereotypes aren't limited to fiction. Many of them are real.

Sorry for intruding. I intended to keep it short, but failed 😕

Originally posted by: -Yukti-

What if Indira were a man? Well, yes she would have been applauded and respected in the same way if she was a man. Any individual if learns his/her resposibilities and duties at the age of 16, by suffering betrayal from father, without getting shattered pledges to serve his/her family would be applauded. Here gender won't matter, atleast for me.

Why Indira was applauded? Indira started serving her family at the age of 16. Well, at this age, any girl/boy would require parents' financial and emotional support to ahieve his/her aims in life. A teenager go through series of emotions at this stage. Happy at one minute,sad at another. Moody,depressed at one moment , and excited at the other. And it's not easy to overcome these feelings in one go. It takes a lot of time. In case of Indira, it was not common to overcome this betrayal and pledge to take care of her family without any elder's support. Even if she was a guy, I would have given same level respect to her.

If I consider Indira a boy of 16 who had two elder brothers who could educate themselves on their own and were capable to serve their family, then what was Indira's position in the family? A mere kiddo who was dependent on the elders of family. At that time, her two elder brother should have come forward to support their family. Not because, they were boys but they were elders. You can't expect a teen boy to earn income for a family. Here Indira turned out to be a hero. She came forward to to earn for the familly, paid for education not only for herself but also for her elder brothers, got her elder brother married and also financially supported his family. Munna's family was not responsibility of Indira. If you notice, any son serve only his family not his in laws or brother's one. Neglecting brothers, Indira had a mom whose responsibility was to support her family financially and emotionally at that time as a single parent. She was a female and I support your statement that she should also have worked to earn income for her family. But what she did? Nothing..except demoralising Indira all the time...Why did Indira yet cared for her?If I consider Indira a beta, then yes she was a good beta because she still cared for her mother as her mom gave her birth. Otherwise in today's world when two brother fight for the property, then a person be it a girl or boy who earns for running brothers' family and also affords the education of their kids, then that person is respectable.

If a father disowns his son and ill treats him, then also that son comes forward to pay the hospital bills if his father gets heart-attack, remains awake whole night praying for his well-being, then that person is great ! And society does hold respect for that person because of his humanity.

Originally posted by: -Yukti-

Walden I don't know whether you saw this part or missed. It was shown that Indira started earning by giving tuitions. Sixteen years age means 12th grade. Even I could have started giving tuitions to small kids at this age, if my parents had financial crisis. You know this is not impractical. This is close to reality. In my college, some boys do it to earn some extra pocket money and some do because they need it. But they are older than sixteen.

If you think supporting Munna's family was a stupidity, I disagree with you. Rather I'd call it humanity. A small kiddo Ishaan, why should that innocent suffer if his father is useless, a drunkard and an unemplyoed? It was her humaneness to afford the education of Ishaan.Moreover she was emotionally attached to that kid. She loved him and cared for him thinking him her own child. Shall I ask you this question that why people donate money for orphange? Media attention can't be the perfect reason for this because many donations go unnoticed. It is for the sake of humanity. Then how come it becomes stupidity?

Originally posted by: -Yukti-

At one point you are saying you consider village ladies better cause they takeup all the household responsibilities without expecting anything in return. And at the other you don't support ladies who suffer verbal,physical and emotional abuse.

In villages, still woman are physically abused by their husbands. They treat women as their slaves. Would you support those ladies who still dare to take up those responsibilities silently?

Originally posted by: -Yukti-

I passed my 11th at the age of sixteen and entered into 12th at that age. In Delhi, tuitions fees are high. If you teach a 10th grade student two subjects, you can easilly earn Rs.1000/- and if students are more, then you can easily earn more than Rs.10000/- which is not unrealistic. Some people earn their monthly income through tuitions itself. And they are able to earn a maximum of 40000-45000/- with this job.

You said Indira should have kicked Munna and sunaina and should not have supported Ishaan. Do you think is it fair to give the same ill-treatment to the next generation, what you faced the in your childhood days? I don't think our parents are like this. What parents couldn't achieve, they put all possible efforts to give that happiness to their kids. Moreover, no one has got the right to deprive any kid from their parents. A child's heart is fragile,always yearns of love from their parents. if Munna and Sunaina were kicked out, Ishaan would have hated Indira.

Originally posted by: Heema22

QUOTE

Heema, you are right. All these stereotypes exist very much in society (especially in India). But like you mentioned in your post, I am trying to look at it from the other viewpoint. If women are stereotyped into the housekeeping role, men are just as much stereotyped into the working role. But in my mind Indira's character does nothing to change society's sterotypes about women. The fact that she works and supports her family so reluctantly and is constantly shown to be waithing for her "brother" to return and take over the hosuehold just re-inforces the stereotypes in my mind.

Hi Walden .

I think , Indira's role done by man and if she was a man , I will not see the show. No point to the show. Man suppose to do it. Indira waiting for Vidhit to return and take responsibility is part of our society too. She know she has to marry someone , some day and has to " go way"so this kind of stererotypes will be there to stay and show will not change them.

I know few women after marriage take full responsibility for various reason and not appreciated by any one.she is consider as " doing her Job" the same way man taking over resposiblity is its job. No show will Change it . People like me do not see any show to change my view points .I see them for pure stress buster and I am not sure How many out there watch show for education !! so answer to your question is this kind of stereotypes will be portrait and will always exit !!

NO show will change it ,