Gulaal: What If chp 26(part II) upd Pg 57 - Page 8

Created

Last reply

Replies

435

Views

48.3k

Users

16

Likes

1.4k

Frequent Posters

enchanted23 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#71

Originally posted by: JZephyr

Aditi, sorry for the umpteenth time to be late around here - but let me jump straight away to saying what a beautiful chapter that was! I bet if I could read and see my expressions in a mirror at the same time, I'd have seen a constant variation of smiles and frowns - soft, but evident!


Jzee,you got here before my next chapter that enough for me,no need to apologise,I too have a crazy schedule at the moment it's just my mad passion for GK bordering obsession that keeps me going with this story😳

The way you weave in little details is so guileless and natural - just like the original script of the show which had a knack of being subtle. A quick glance here, another quick secret wish there. A dialogue spoken, or another withheld. A momentary gesture reflexive of the passing/riding emotion. What's really pleasant is that like a skilled storyteller, you never shift the focus from the leads, or lose track of where you're headed with them, while managing fairly to include the support cast - Talli's taking of jibes in an innocent hope. Dushyant's resignation. Kesar's quiet but certain wariness of GD. MB's reproach and affection in sequence. PB's moment of confession - taken into account, not dragging but lingering anyway!

Aww that's such a huge compliment for first time writer like me,honestly I am just going with the flow of my beliefs and convictions on how I would have liked it unfold on the screen that's why sometime detailing becomes necessary evil,I do want this to get over as SS and even after two chapters he is still 14🤔 I wish I had my office colleagues to help me out of my crazy manic attention to detail mind and equally stubborn need to document all the detail,typical and classical characteristics of a Business Analyst,justification for every action 😉 But I am glad you enjoyed it,hopefully will start curtailing from next chapter onwards😊

I just have nothing to say about this chapter that I could want otherwise. Gulaal's explanation to Kesar - without giving answers - was so Gulaal. Wanting to understand Kesar and make him understand her, and yet wanting to shield him from things his age maybe too raw for. Her simultaneous surprise at how fast he's grown/matured and treating him still like someone she needs to protect reminds me of Kesar post leap in the show (after his reform) in how he would let her indulge him, and then go all protective about her in the same moment!

Gulaal was at her patronising best when he was younger and did everything right to protect and nurture him,she went with her convictions that he will always follows path laid out for him because it was her doing so,Kesar on the other hand always wanted to walk on the path with her besides him,his kavach factor so ingrained in his psyche,both right and absolutely committed to cause/promise they believed in and their journey towards each other had to cross lot of self built and lot of social taboos and that would have been impossible with only one willing to walk that path all the way with other joining only at completion mark,in my mind I see Gulaal too trying to break those shackles she bound herself in in the name of her commitment to her husband,to his dream and to his family,sorry didn't mean to go on and on,so I will shut up now and write it through my story😳

Lovely, love writing! Please update soon - even though I should hardly be saying this - but you're doing a wonderful job with this theme, keep it up!

xx
JZee

Thanks Jzee for your lovely comments,I will update on Saturday,I follow a schedule,aadat se majboor😉

enchanted23 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#72

Chapter 3

every action has consequences

Astounded and shocked, she did not know how to console him, he was bearing the brunt of her one sided decision, he was a collateral damage in her fight against Jamana kaki, Dushyantji and the entire ritual of DV, She was his biggest culprit and she did not have a clue, how she was going to amend this for him, her intention had always been his protection and his security along with keeping her honour intact and retain access to her husband's home to fulfil her promise, she had never imagined the decision will entail so much anguish and turmoil for her only link to life and only reason to tie herself to that home, she had to act now for his sake, she had to alienate herself from him even if it meant she will have to go through that feeling of loss and devastation she felt after Vasant's death so what, he shouldn't have to suffer for her actions, He was right about wanting to study in the city, that way he will be far, far away from this useless taunts and baseless accusations and if need be the DV can be dissolved too, she wanted that decision taken after she could explain him her reasons to tie him in this bond in the first place, but may be the wait will only ruin things for him, yes that's what she would do, speak to MB and get him out of here at the earliest, Vasant will have to forgive her for not being there for Kesar in every step of his growing up years, but he always understood her and he would have agreed with this conclusion as well as that was the best course of action to take in given circumstances, she made up her mind and called out to Kesar, who had started throwing stones into water in order to calm himself

Kesar sun toh, tujhe sach mein lagta hai kissi ke kuch bhi bol dene se mere maan kam ho jayega ,ya phir MB aur PB ka vishwaas mujhse uth jayega,nhi na phir tu kyun unki baato ko apne dil se lagata hai,hum logo ka muh bandh nahi kar sakte,mujhe log kya kehte hai usse koi farq nahi padta,ha agar unki baat sunke tu apna aapa kho bethta hai toh padta hai,agar tu unn bato ko dil se laga ke ghar se dur rehta hai to padta hai,tujhe yuh pareshaan aur naraaz dekhti hu toh farq padat hai Kesar bahut farq padta hai,iseliye main ek faisla liya hai,aaj main MB se baat karke thuje saher is school mein dhakhila jarur dilwa dungi,aise tu iss sab zamele se bahut dur reh sakta hai,jarurat bhi nahi thuje yeah sab bakhede mein padne ki, chal ab jake Talli ko dudhte hai,pata nahi kabse dikhi hi nahi, ab Dushyantji aate hi hoge hame lene ke liye...

Kesar who was till now slowly contemplating how to gang up with his friends against the guy who bad mouthed Gulaal, so that the matter could be settled once and for all and no one dare repeat the mistake again, was dumbfounded about Gulaal's proposal to send him away to the city, his game was up and he had to do something quickly in order to stop Gulaal but now what could he do, he never thought his trying to be one up on Gulaal would result in something so serious as he was so confident of her need of his presence as his need of her for their survival and here she was all ready to give up on her Kesar, just because he had this fight in school how could she be so insensitive when Vasantbha was going to the city for 3 days, only 3 days she had cried so much and here she was intending to be without him for months what's wrong with her, she is surely out of her mind, I have to talk to PB after all she will never let me go away, yes that's what I will do there is no point in speaking to Gulaal at the moment as she will be quite adamant about something she has made up her mind about, he thought and replied...

Ha Gulaal, chal dudhte hai Talli ko, uska bharosa nahi,kahi nibandh(essy) ki bajaye tairene challi gayi toh sham tak yehi bethna padega, aur kahi kho gayi toh Sudha bhabhi hame ghar mein ghusne nahi degi, he extended his hand to help her up and both walked in different directions to go and look for Talli

Journey back was such a quiet affair that Dushyant had to actually ask if there was something wrong and did they not enjoy themselves in such a beautiful and amazing orchard, Gulaal just countered saying they were tired due to so much walking around, the moment jeep halted near the door Kesar jumped out and ran towards MB's room as fast as his legs would allow him to

Ba,he shouted at top of his voice when he couldn't find her in the room, without stopping for a breather he went looking for her through the entire house and finally located her on the terrace, with sense of relief he embraced her with her back facing him, PB knowing that touch smiled and turned back immediately to face him,

Kya baat hai Kesar aaj school se jaldi wapas aa gaya, bhukh lagi hai kya,chal khana laga deti hu

Kesar just nodded his head indicating no and lead her to her room,PB followed in silence, surprised that Kesar wanted to talk to her

Ba aap mere bagar reh sakti ho? Agar main sehar chala gaya padhne toh kya aapko accha lagega

Kesar yeah kya keh raha hai,kuyn jayega tu sehar,main tujhe kahi nahi jaane dungi,kisne kaha yeah mujhe bata PB was surprised and shocked with the question

Kaha nahi kehne wali hai,Gulaal abhi MB se,Ba kal mera jaghda ho gaya tha ek ladke se,kyunki usne Gulaal ke baare mein ulta siddha keh diya tha,aur iseliye Gulaal mujhe sehar bhejna chahti hai padhne,Ba main aapke bagar nahi reh sakta,aap Gulaal ko rokiye na Kesar requested with a pleading and anxious tone

Kesar chal tu mere saath,main dekhti hu woh kaise thuje yaha se bejhati hai,chal...

Here Gulaal, wasting no time had already started conversation with MB, giving him most of the detail about Kesar's fight, reason behind the fight also Durgesh's attempt to reach Kesar and how it will be best for Kesar to study away from all these in the city where he will not have to deal with such jibs, nasty remarks or unscrupulous people like Durgesh, she pleaded with MB to take this decision at earliest as it would in best interest of Kesar in given circumstances and also to consider dissolving of DV in front of panchayat so that Kesar's future was not hampered by decision she had to take under pressurised and unusual situation, MB first surprised and then shocked with how much thought she had already given to the matter almost reaching to conclusion about the action needed waiting for him to just nod his head in approval for execution of her planned action nodded his head indicating his disapproval and sat down on the sofa thinking

Gulaal continued with her pleading when PB walked in with Kesar and faced MB completely ignoring Gulaal who was still trying to pacify increasingly exasperated MB

PB spoke that under no circumstances she will allow Kesar to leave this home,If required he could go to a school in nearby village where he will not have to face taunts and remarks about his wife,and if required DV could be dissolved as the reason for which Gulaal had to take this step was no longer valid,MB having returned home and being in the position to look after the family..

MB who was listening to Gulaal quietly till then, flared up after PB's statement

Gulaal,PB aap logo ko jara bhi andaja hai ki yeah aap kya keh rahe ho,Gulaal teri Kesar ke liye,uske bhavishya ke liye jo chinta hai woh jayaj hai lekin yeah mat bhulo ke tumne jo niranay liya tha yeah DV ka, uska khamiyaja toh hame bhukatna hi padega,bhale tumhara irada bahut hi nake raha ho iss nirnay ke piche par hum samaj ka najariya toh nahi badal sakte,bas logo ki baato ko dil se lagage aur koi nirnay nahi le sakte

Per MB, Gulaal was about to protest but stopped when she saw MB hand raised indicating her to keep quiet

Kesar ke baare main koi bhi nirnay lene se pehle uski rai janana jaruri hai,school ke vishay mein main baat karunga usse per jaha tak DV ka sawal hai pehle usko samjana jaruri hai ke uske sath yeah DV ka faisala kin halato mein,aur kis majboori ke tahat liya gaya tha,kyun ek 12 saal je bacche ko iss bandhan mein badhne ko kaha gaya tha,, lekin yeah baat samaj ne ke liye abhi woh bahut chota hai,jab woh samajdaar ho jaye toh pehle usse batana hoga in halato ke baare mein, phir yeah rishte ko manana ,na manana hum Kesar aur Gulaal pe chod sakte hai lekin tab tak mujhe iss baare mein koi aur baat nahi karni'

Kesar he called out, unaware of the fact that Kesar was there listening to this entire conversation from the dining table

Kesar tu bata beta,kya tu sehar ki school mein padhna chahta hai,aise mein tujhe wahi rehna hoga pata hai na,agar tu chahe toh hum pass wale gaav ki school mein tera dhkhila karwa sakte hai,waha bhi thjse aisi baate koi nahi karga,per Gulaal keh rahi thi tune khud saher ki school mein dhakhila lene ki baat kahi thi,ab bata tu kya chahta hai

Seeing that there was no escape but to admitting the truth Kesar reluctantly said MB main aapse or PB se dur nahi reh sakta,Gulaal se maine mazak mein sehar jane ki baat ki thi,aap jaha kahe waha main padhne ke liye tayaar hu bas aapse dur nahi reh sakta, he said this and quickly exchanged glance with Gulaal, who had unfathomable expression on her face with a "you wait now" look in her eyes, he turned away and smiling slightly and left the room trying to run away from those questioning eyes

The moment he left the room Gulaal excused herself and went looking for him but was called away by Sudha to help her in the kitchen, Gulaal noticed Sudha's worried expression and queried what was troubling her but Sudha avoided answering her and got busy with her work, During Lunch time MB told Gulaal that he had arranged for Kesar to join a school in nearby village which was about 4 miles and it will be good idea for him to learn to cycle to and fro from school, Dushyant who was listening to conversation quietly till then having returned early from factory to pick Gulaal, Kesar and Talli from orchard said he was not in favour of Kesar travelling alone such a long distance so he would arrange for him to be picked up and dropped off on daily basis. Though he agreed with the proposal MB said there was no need to be over protective about Kesar, he had to find his own way in life and the more he learned to stand for himself and fight his own battles, more wiser and more mature he will get with the experience.

Not finding Kesar in his room or in the courtyard Gulaal climbed steps to terrace taking care that her footsteps didn't generate any sound that would alert him to her presence and there by escaping from her wrath that he so deserved for that prank he played on her, Kesar having seen her looking for him was already aware of what awaited him and was just waiting for her knowing fully well that she would not be able to catch him, however hard she tried

The moment she saw him, made a run for him ready to pounce only if she could lay her hands on him, he so was not escaping today, but Kesar really proved too fast for her and she was tired and out of breath soon , the moment she stopped chasing him, he turned around with a wide smile on his face and started walking towards her every step slowing as she looked so amazing with her hair wide open, no pallu on head and trying to regain her breath, he could not help but notice how beautiful she truly was, he reached close and sat down beside her holding both his ears mouthing *sorry* with an apologetic face and regretful eyes, she didn't know how to still hold on to her anger, so gave in with a wide smile leading him to rasoi for his lunch

.

.

...

OK guys,I know you all would want to kill me after this one,so I am going to update 4th one tonight/tomorrow to progress the story till leap of 7 years,kindly bear with me


Edited by enchanted23 - 13 years ago
enchanted23 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#73

Ok guys, change in plan, don't blame me, blame Piyu who wants this SS to go on and on but considering the amount of time I have at hand I will not be able to actually make a FF out of this but Piyu tere liye I will try and prolong as much as I can, If you guys are not in favour of this please let me know and we can go by the amount of vote either way, As always please feel free to point out any errors, your likes and comments are constant source of encouragement so please keep it flowing...


---------------

Chapter 4

invisible thread connecting two souls

Kesar quickly settled in his new school, being friendly and easy going he found it really easy to integrate with other children of his age and soon became very popular among students and teachers alike, this was a big relief for MB who wanted no more trouble for him and wanted his childhood to be as close to normal as circumstance would entail, for Kesar this was a blessing in disguise as he no longer had jasoos Talli following and reporting his every move and prank back home to Gulaal and being boys only school there was always added trill of breaking rules to run to nearby gals school and make them target of their well planned and executed pranks and then acting all innocent and gullible when principal of gals school came complaining to their headmaster, he didn't even realised how quickly the year flew by and he was staring at his board exams in couple of months

Only one person in the entire house was not happy with Kesar's change of school and that was Talli, having developed soft corner for him, she was not happy to be away from him for such a long period of time, he hardly ever had time to sit and talk with her or go out with her to their favourite places they normally frequented when he was studying in the same class as hers, as the school he went to was boys only there was no point in asking Sudha ma, to get her admitted there, so she became quiet and withdrawn which was so unusual for a gal who was always chirpy, smiling and full of enthusiasm ready to do anything that was asked of her, this change evident as it was drew attention from Sudha and Gulaal alike, after lot of probing she admitted missing Kesar from school and his indifferent attitude to her after change in his school and her fear that he would forget her and no longer be her best friend he once was, Gulaal and Sudha tried to specify as best as they could but to no avail she was hell bent that Kesar was going far away from her and she would not be able to take his indifference, Sudha not knowing how to resolve this problem promised her that once she is grown up and is able to take care of her as well as Kesar she would request MB to get them married, Gulaal was stunned and taken a back for a minute before she pulled herself back and smiled at anxious Sudha who was questioning her with her eyes to confirm what she said just now, Gulaal blurted shayad PB bula rahi hai, abhi aati hu Sudha bhabhi...

Oblivious to all these Kesar was preparing for his exams with lot enthusiasm and determination, his promise to his Vasantbha reigning profound in his mind ,that relived his memory of Vasantbha's promise of cycle if he came first in his school and his face reflected his sadness he felt within thinking about his late brother, the truth was he did want a cycle to travel back and forth from school but he wasn't sure if MB would approve of this, he hated being dropped off and picked from school daily ,it was so not cool where all his friends either came by cycle or some even had scooty, thinking about scooty he recollected how one of his friend could not keep the balance while manoeuvring a big pothole bang opposite gals school and how that landed him in so much trouble later, smiling and still reflecting he sketched a picture of scooty in his book and dozed off on the study table, Dushyant walking passed saw the lights on in Kesar's room and decided to check if everything was ok as it was late in the night, a small smile escaped his lips when he saw Kesar sleeping with his head over an open book and study light still on, he gently nudged him, Kesar in deep slumber had no effect to his gentle nudges, he then attempted to carry him to his bed which did stir Kesar but only just and he did manage to make him stand and walk him to his bed while putting his blanket on, Kesar suddenly got hold of his hand and blabbered in his sleep Vasantbha main aapse kiya hua har vadaa nibhaunga Dushyant was overwhelmed and didn't know how to move away from there so stood rooted to the spot ruffling Kesar's hair for a long time promising to take care and fulfil his every wish and desires to best of his capacity. While leaving he noticed the picture of scooty Kesar had made on his book and smiling to himself he tore the page from the book and carried with him on his way out

Kesar woke up early next morning, which was a difficult task considering he had been awake till late but he was determined to reach to the mango orchard where they would be taking down all mangoes today and he had signed up as a day labourer to earn that 100rs the entire day taking down mangoes would get him, he had big plans for that money and smiling and humming a tune he sneaked out from the house ensuring no one noticed him

Not finding him in his room, Gulaal was surprised that he had woken up so early that too on a Sunday, she decided to check if Talli was aware of his whereabouts but Talli knew nothing either, this was quite unusual, she decided to wait till evening before pressing any panic button as she knew his dedication towards study might have led him to one of his friend's home but he should have at least told her before leaving, this was so not done, she will confront him when he returned

It was almost 7pm and Kesar had not returned yet, she hadn't been able to put a single morsel in her mouth since morning worrying about him all day, PB had enquired about him twice and she had made up an excuse but she was panicking now with all sorts of bad thoughts crossing her mind every few minutes scaring and freezing her from her constant pacing in the courtyard and the she finally saw him entering the door, she rushed towards him ready to lecture him on his negligent and uncaring attitude but stopped the moment she held his hand that was almost burning with fever, she immediately put her palm on his forehead and then his neck, he had a high temperature, she forgot all about her anger and helped him to his room, ordering him to change his clothes and get into bed she was about to take away a brown parcel that he was holding on to with his left hand but he indicated by nodding his head that he would take care of it, doing what he was told he got into bed after change of clothes but at the same time picked up a book to compensate for the loss of time that his little adventure entailed, Getting back in his room with a glass of warm milk and bowl of cold water for his fever Gulaal authoritatively took away the book and ordered him to have that milk in one go and take the medicine she brought along with the milk, finding himself in no position to protest he abided by the order and let Gulaal tuck the blanket around him, PB walked in the room all concerned and worried and sat herself near his headrest and started applying wet clothes to his forehead, Gulaal told PB she should not worry she will be around him, she should go and serve food to MB and Giga kaka as it was time for their dinner, but PB refused to listen to her and continued changing clothes on Kesar's forehead, Kesar very drowsy with effects of medicine taking over was almost on verge of surrendering to the sleep that was trying to engulf him muttered Gulaal mere paas rehna,Gulaal,mere saath rehna Gulaal...and then the speech became incomprehensive but the statement was enough for PB to make her way out of the room

She sat there all night holding his hand and frequently changing water to keep it cold and applying wet clothes,By morning the fever had subsided and he opened his eyes and looked at her sleeping in sitting position with her head on her hands near his headrest, he traced his fingers across her face and hair and gave her wide smile when she looked at him and muttered Janamdin ki bahut bahut badhaai Gulaal and then getting up slowly handed her the brown parcel...

Gulaal surprised that he had remembered, couldn't help herself from feeling elated and excited like a small child and slowly and carefully pulled out a long box from the parcel, her heartbeat increased as she knew what was inside the box even before opening it and she looked at him with eyes that were mixture of affection, love, gratefulness, exuberance and sheer bliss of being revered and cared for

Kesar tu kal issi ko kharidne ka intezaam karne gaya tha na,dekh main janti hu tu subah subah hi nikal gaya tha,jab tu sham ko wapas aaya main to puri tarah tayaar thi teri khaber lene ko,lekin tere bukhar ki wajah se bura haal tha isliye kuch keh nahi paayi,sach bata kaise intezaam kiya itne paiso ka..

Kesar smiling at her inquisitiveness asked tujhe kaise malum ke maine kissi se mange nahi yeah paise?

Kyuki tu mujhe kissi se paise mang ke tohfa nahi kharid ke dega,ab bol na she was curious to find out

Kesar told her about how he had spent the entire day at the mango orchard climbing on trees and picking mangoes and earning his payment of 100rs to buy her the birthday gift that he knew she would love,as he had seen her looking at them when they went to Mela few days back

Listening to him with utmost sincerity she was overwhelmed by his gesture to get her the bangles that she was looking all those days ago recollecting Vasant putting them on her hand one at a time, unknowingly she extended her hand and Kesar knowing exactly what she was asking for, opened the box and started putting on for her one at a time carefully, so lost was he in putting those bangles on her that he failed to notice a teardrop that escaped her eye...

.

.

.

.

...

Edited by enchanted23 - 13 years ago
Transference thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
#74
Res 3 yeay me first 😛
minizz thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#75
res 4😳😆

Edit

Aditi,sab se pehle yeh le ek badi wali hug🤗I loved it.both the chapters.I admit I was a little disappointed not finding the 7 yr leap only because you wrote about it 😆but then the 15yr old Kesar was so cute and the chapter was so,so good that I wished it just went on and on...😍
ok now let me start with chapter 3-First of all let me just say I agree with Shradhha completely.You do write Kesar's perspective brilliantly but I am amazed at the way you are portraying Gulaal,you are doing complete justice to her character here and I am so very happy about it👏😃I loved her thoughts and not for a second did I feel she was over reacting.In the show I could stand with her on the decision of doing DV with Kesar because that was the only way out for her at that point of time to protect her family and Kesar from harm but then later on not once does she think about the kind of repurcussions this decision might have had on him and his future.somewhere down the line it became all about Talli...uggghhh🤢So I am happy here that she is shown to be concerned for Kesar. bechara Kesar,his trick kinda backfired on him and when Gulaal agrees with him about the school change he just panicked.He just can't think about staying away from his Gulaal.The same goes for Gulaal but she is ready to do it,to suffer the judaai for his better future.oh Aditi,I loved that a lot😳The panic causes the nautanki Kesar to come out,who is my absolute fav😛I loved his attempts to convince PB to let him stay back and not send him away.I was laughing over there yet It was so endearing cause I could sense his desperation,he is terrified at the prospect of having to go away from Gulaal and he would do anything to avoid that 😭I loved that a lot.ok I forgot to mention,one thing which stood out for me in this was Kesar's thought as to how she can be so insensitive,she could not stay away from Vasant bha for 3 days so how can she even think of sending him away for such a long time.How will she live without him.This bit was my fav.Somewhere he does know that as much as he needs his Gulaal she needs him too😳MB was at his usual best.PB was real for a change.awww the last bit was so sweet Aditi,the way he notices Gulaal being beautiful-so subtle,beautifully handled👏and the entry of khule baal...yay

Chapter-4:I can no longer imagine Ali so trying to imagine Neil as a teenager-not very hard to do😆😉uff I loved this one a lot.Talli...hai isko dukh ho raha hai,Hey bhagwaan iska dukh hum sabko torture kar gaya🤢le yahaan bhi bin budhi Sudhi ne promoise kar diya ki Kesar Gudda toh tera hi hoga😡
I loved the way you changed the scene.It should have been done this way in the show.It would have made more sense.Gullu toh matchmaker nahi bani na and she is not very comfortable with the alliance too.That bit makes me very happy.I loved the little Dushyant-Kesar scene.aaah Kesar you made not only Gulaal cry but us readers too.kya kya karta hai...The whole mango picking for the money to buy Gulaal bangles-very sweet.and bechaare ko bukhaar bhi ho gaya but I loved Gulaal doing all seva.My fav has got be the scene where he wishes her and makes her wear the bangles.Gulaal is overwhelmed by Kesar's gesture and i am sure these bangles will be cherished by her just like those imlis from the show.and I ahve a feeling that this will not be the last we see of these bangles na.mujhe aisa ek scene show mein dekhna tha jo nahi dikha toh kya hua your SS is there to fulfill all my wishes🤗

Thank you Piu for making Aditi write more about the pre-leap.I was a little apprehensive about imagining Ali but mera problem solve ho gaya ab main Neil ko hi dekh rahi hoon😆😳

Aditi,I am loving the flow a lot.ok can I make a request?sometime,whenever you feel it's right, can you insert a Holi scene in somewhere.ab tu hi toh is show ki CV hai toh kuch kar na pleaaassseee😳I want to see one.Please do think about it.

Thank you so much for these beautiful chapters.I am so sad that I would have to wait for the next weekend for Chapter 4😭 but chalega for this SS I can wait patiently😊

yeh raha mera emotion se bhara hua comment😃

Edited by minizz - 13 years ago
alanta thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#76

Aditi..First of all a big hug for that u will now prolong the pre leap period🤗..🤗.I loved both the updates so much...the Dushyanth Kesar part was so sweet and touch,..and what I loved the most is MB's decision of sending him to a school in the nearby village and not to town. and the bangle scene 😳...how much I have craved to see such a scene in the show after Kesar's return..u made my dream come true..and Gulaal's response to it...so heavenly...very nice that Kesar earned money for it and didnt steal like in the show. My most fav bit is where that here Sudha is giving the promise of Kesar Talli alliance and not Gulaal, and her slight shock and subtle hesitation was like cherry on the top. It has to be like that na…😳 Aditi u describe it so well that we could really feel their true bond and all that we missed in the show is happening right in front of us..Thank u so much Aditi..Please update soon dear. 😊

Edited by alanta - 13 years ago
without-fathom thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#77
The highlight of this episode for me was the starting part of Gulaal's introspection. Of the beginning of her realization of the far reaching consequences of a decision that had back in the moment of multiple crisis seemed like a one step solution to all problems. What's brilliant about that paragraph however, is how Gulaal being Gulaal draws no lesson from her mistake.

The mistake - of making Kesar's decisions for him. Like they are her own to make. That kind of right these two could exert on each other formed the basis of a strong and endearing bond, but it is also what led Gulaal to forsake Kesar's opinions far too often. Like here. She's coming around to understanding how she's forced him into a DV with one decision - and how making it for him may not have been the best idea in the long run - but it doesn't take her one moment further to think of another resolution to this problem, which again, involves taking a decision on his behalf. Sure, he's the one who prompted the idea. But the way she takes his decisions - city school, necessary distance, dissolving of DV - the intentions with with which she wants to carry it through, are all Kesar's primary prerogatives, technically speaking.

Of course, she was always Galool for a reason, right? Kesar's sharp and sensitive perception is bang on Aditi. Even inside that child's mind is a gut instinct that kicks in so right and strong - it's a Kesar defining trait!

Will look forward to the next!

xx
JZee
kalika.j thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#78
@Aditi, nice chapter.


Flower Pictures, Scraps, Images and Comments


kalika
SRJKiShraddha thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
#79
Previous page pe comment unres kar diya,
aditi like i said earlier i m not gud anyaliser, so sorry if i can't give review like other:-)
all i can say that ur ff draws me more n more to kesgul. Your always best when it comes to kesar's pov, but last 2 chapter u suprised wid presentation of gulaal character.
Will wait for post leap chapter and kesuda's entry:-)
minizz thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#80
Aditi,upar dekh.maine comment update kar diya😳

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".