Memory and its relation to Physical space - Part 2, page 5 - Page 2

Thank you so much 🥰

Still want to take up architecture then??? 😉

You have written very nicely.
Makers have messed up this track by not showing Sai Virat after pregnancy reveal in proper order instead of showing in FB now & by not showing Virat worrying about Sai & baby after Samrats death. Otherwise Virats state would have felt realistic.

We have some gender defined norms & expectations. Ninad addresses this while talking to Ashwini. Virat is much older than Sai & from the convo during MiMo track we know he had thought about his kids already. Sai is still young to dream about it. She was sort of pushed into motherhood because of her early marriage & Virats age. Virat is emotionally sensitive or weaker between the two. He has a sheltered life & Sai has dealt with major trauma’s with survivors instinct . There is basic personality differences too. Virat as heir of the family has enjoyed a sheltered, pampered life where he almost always got what he wanted. Pain of loosing Pakhi was brief. He has never suffered a loss this big in his life. He doesn’t know how to deal with it.

He knows he is wrong dealing with Sai. He doesn’t blame her. Rightfully so. But when couple face such loss it’s natural tendency to blame the spouse. Lot of marriages break after loss of a child or infertility. It’s unfair but happens in real life.

Sai’s enthusiasm, somewhat churpiness while asking about actions if felt odd at the time was explained in yesterday’s episode. Neil & Ayesha were great in portraying the happy would be couple & broken one.

Ninad & Virat convo was perfect & very much needed. It was good that it was Ninad who decided to talk instead of Ashwini. Shailesh & Neil showed the father son bond.

Btw Virat is wrong about not choosing adoption as an option. He is ready for it. The smile & transformation when the girl approaches him says it. Just that the entitled son of CN is not ready to accept.

A relatively good episode of not for delusional Pakhi overhearing the convo.

Thank you so much...

You are thinking logically that V should accept adoption. But the makers want to show surrogacy with P. Isliye they won't even consider adoption...

And BK has already mentioned that... Pata nahi kiska khoon hoga...the typical objection against adoption...

This show has so much potential in every storyline but all they want is to show cringe and negativity. 😔

Originally posted by: Moor278

Thank you so much...

You are thinking logically that V should accept adoption. But the makers want to show surrogacy with P. Isliye they won't even consider adoption...

And BK has already mentioned that... Pata nahi kiska khoon hoga...the typical objection against adoption...

This show has so much potential in every storyline but all they want is to show cringe and negativity. 😔

It would have been better if Virat is shown open to adoption but not surrogacy as he can’t see anyone other than Sai carrying their baby. But knows that can’t be option because of family. He knows the kid will be mistreated in CN just like Ashwini or Sai are.

But you are right ghum world is like Pakhis world. No place for logic in it.

Tagging few others who might be interested to read this.

Honestly I wish makers actually put so much thought into this dialogue as you have but we all know this is said to justify upcoming V behavior during Pakhi’s pregnancy.

I can not accept or connect to his dialogues is because he we have seen he is so aware of pain of others like Pakhi and Shruti but not Sai! And the man who was so understanding of Shruti’s troubles and needs during pregnancy is so indifferent to his own wife! Shruti was asking him to go away but he was adamant to help her bcoz she was pregnant and promise, here this is he wife, and there is promise to KJ too!

I understand he can’t be in that room but solution should be to move to another room with Sai! Ask her he needs space instead of ghosting her. I have not herd of a couple going through this loss and one ghosting another, it only happens when wife is only a tool for reproduction for man. life is not bed of roses, and if pne can not stand together and face eo during this time what is the point of love and marriage???

There are 3 major events Sai faced

Sexual asault,

Blame for being responsible for Sam death

miscarriage

All three stand alone are enough to put a person on self doubt/self disgust path. (One shouldn’t but it happens)

And the most needed thing during that time is support of spouse/family, their role becomes extremely important.

A woman who is told she can not be mother ever needs reassurance that her existence is above reproduction, she is a person and will be loved cared and respected despite not being able to be mother.

Here not only Virat distanced himself but Bhavani took them to consultation right away, Aai as soon as she was conscious said give us good news in few months again, there is a pressure on her to be a mother, Virat knows that too. Now she can not be one EVER! Virat’s behavior can easily make her feel less of herself. To compensate they are showing family supportive. Honestly it would have made sense if it was Sai who was acting like what Virat is, Virat was supporting her and not family.

But we know why this is done- just so that Virat can be shown over caring for Pakhi. (Stupid)

Most importantly, Out of all spouse’s support matters the most during such time. Having been through infertility journey myself I can never ever associate with what Virat is doing. I can’t imagine how low I would have felt of myself if my husband was even 10% of what Virat is.
Plus the fact that Sai has no one of her own, A mother or father’s support is another important factor but again Virat is overlooking that too, that Sai has no family.

Yes Virat’s mother was supportive but if you remember her dialogue in hospital she said in few months you can give another good news. A mother wont even go that far in that moment! That was MIL talking.

I understand man are vulnerable and feel pain and everyone grieves differently is all true BUT woman bears physical mental and emotional loss, the raging hormone changes that happens with pregnancy and miscarriage and emotions it can trigger can not even be compared with.

Here they are not showing emotional side of man they are justifying Virat’s upcoming behavior. Becoz if he cared so much, he would not have let Pakhi slap Sai and abuse her for 13 days!

I wish they never touched this topic! Like everything else they are dealing with this so disgustingly, its extremely sensitive matter and giving justification like this (as shown on show) to Virat’s behavior is nothing but TRIGGERING to someone who has been through it!

I know its TV and we are all hoping n trying to find some positive sign but there is not justification for this IMO. Doing that we are helping them in their cause of ‘discarding’ issue. 🙏 (After backlash, They literally took Virat’s dialogues from twitter from people justifying him.)

PS: writing may not be coherent as I m putting down thought as they come, this show is garbage the way it normalize every issue woman face is torturous.

Originally posted by: Sab04

Honestly I wish makers actually put so much thought into this dialogue as you have but we all know this is said to justify upcoming V behavior during Pakhi’s pregnancy.

I can not accept or connect to his dialogues is because he we have seen he is so aware of pain of others like Pakhi and Shruti but not Sai! And the man who was so understanding of Shruti’s troubles and needs during pregnancy is so indifferent to his own wife! Shruti was asking him to go away but he was adamant to help her bcoz she was pregnant and promise, here this is he wife, and there is promise to KJ too!

I understand he can’t be in that room but solution should be to move to another room with Sai! Ask her he needs space instead of ghosting her. I have not herd of a couple going through this loss and one ghosting another, it only happens when wife is only a tool for reproduction for man. life is not bed of roses, and if pne can not stand together and face eo during this time what is the point of love and marriage???

There are 3 major events Sai faced

Sexual asault,

Blame for being responsible for Sam death

miscarriage

All three stand alone are enough to put a person on self doubt/self disgust path. (One shouldn’t but it happens)

And the most needed thing during that time is support of spouse/family, their role becomes extremely important.

A woman who is told she can not be mother ever needs reassurance that her existence is above reproduction, she is a person and will be loved cared and respected despite not being able to be mother.

Here not only Virat distanced himself but Bhavani took them to consultation right away, Aai as soon as she was conscious said give us good news in few months again, there is a pressure on her to be a mother, Virat knows that too. Now she can not be one EVER! Virat’s behavior can easily make her feel less of herself. To compensate they are showing family supportive. Honestly it would have made sense if it was Sai who was acting like what Virat is, Virat was supporting her and not family.

But we know why this is done- just so that Virat can be shown over caring for Pakhi. (Stupid)

Most importantly, Out of all spouse’s support matters the most during such time. Having been through infertility journey myself I can never ever associate with what Virat is doing. I can’t imagine how low I would have felt of myself if my husband was even 10% of what Virat is.
Plus the fact that Sai has no one of her own, A mother or father’s support is another important factor but again Virat is overlooking that too, that Sai has no family.

Yes Virat’s mother was supportive but if you remember her dialogue in hospital she said in few months you can give another good news. A mother wont even go that far in that moment! That was MIL talking.

I understand man are vulnerable and feel pain and everyone grieves differently is all true BUT woman bears physical mental and emotional loss, the raging hormone changes that happens with pregnancy and miscarriage and emotions it can trigger can not even be compared with.

Here they are not showing emotional side of man they are justifying Virat’s upcoming behavior. Becoz if he cared so much, he would not have let Pakhi slap Sai and abuse her for 13 days!

I wish they never touched this topic! Like everything else they are dealing with this so disgustingly, its extremely sensitive matter and giving justification like this (as shown on show) to Virat’s behavior is nothing but TRIGGERING to someone who has been through it!

I know its TV and we are all hoping n trying to find some positive sign but there is not justification for this IMO. Doing that we are helping them in their cause of ‘discarding’ issue. 🙏 (After backlash, They literally took Virat’s dialogues from twitter from people justifying him.)

PS: writing may not be coherent as I m putting down thought as they come, this show is garbage the way it normalize every issue woman face is torturous.

I understand Virat not being ready for adoption. Many want to have their own child and live through the pregnancy its a beautiful bonding phase, and nothing wrong with it.

But his behavior they are showing is unrealistic. Usually both parents grieve, mother’s body recovers and then they explore options.

I can understand Virat not wanting to be in room but away from Sai- hard to digest. THIS ARE THE TIMES WHEN COUPLES SHOULD STAND BY EO ROCK SOLID. Plus solution should have been they both can move out from CN to revive. But that is sensible thing and can not happen in Ghum.

Again, makers are not thinking this through and giving him this dialogue, they are only giving justification of his ignorant behavior they shown. It seems they were going for him blaming Sai for miscarriage and then changed the course, hence all this mess.

Completely agree to you dear...

And I am completely with you in this...

As I said, I am not supporting V or his behaviour in this post. In fact just like you said, even I feel that Sai should have been the one to say I cannot stay in this room.

Its bad bad writing and this dialogue is definitely an afterthought. They have skipped over all those issues for the sake of this surrogacy drama. I don't want to get into offscreen so tried to analyze it this way. Had it been paced out and those baby planning scenes were actual instead of dreams and flashbacks, it would have made a difference.

The reason I made this post is because as a trained professional, I felt the connection of memories and physical space and how that affects the reactions of the individuals concerned.

Again in no way saying that he should behave like this.

I have personally no experience with this and so my opinion may not be correct and Sorry if this hurt you.

Finally a response from my side.

I didnt understand the architecture part in the first go.

Then it was just common sense with a design tinge to it.

I am supposed to be with a design IQ (can paint the scene with B/W writeups) and finally could relate to it after 3-4 reads.

Maybe thats why people who undergo frequent transfers dont relate to the homes they have been through.

A family I know, get transferred every 3 years (armed forces) I dont know what sort of attachment they would have for the four walls.

Coming to Ghum, Virat was always the one to crave for a child. A girl child. Sai was not yet through that phase, only once she had that memory and that too when she came in with the divorce papers.

A part of me felt sad and dejected because Virat shunning Sai only because the fault lies with her. Had it been the other way, the situation would be different. BTW, what happened to his Bengaluru transfer?

I dont know what tricks Patralekha is going to employ to get pregnant with Virat's seed. Overdose him with Viagr**?

Originally posted by: Moor278

Thank you so much 🥰

Still want to take up architecture then??? 😉

Haha! That's the fixed goal na!⭐️