Every time I think that an episode is Ayesha's best performance, she outperforms herself. To think that she is a newbie is unbelievable. She was simply outstanding today ā¤ļø
***
A quick note on Samrat. It is quite commendable how forceful he was with the family to not pressure Pakhi into making a decision. This entire year, all of them have been forcing her to wait for Samrat, but Samrat truly does value her autonomy. He wants her to be able to make her own life decisions, showing that he really does want the best for her, despite what she did to him.
Virat was harsher with Sai than he has been up until this point. The more she tries to take care of him, the more helpless and desperate he gets. Like he said yesterday, he is unable to understand her. He is growing frustrated seeing her care, because it does not make sense to him. Again, he is confused between her actions and her words (just like she has been confused about him this entire time). He does not want her near him, as he does not want to let himself hope. He is trying desperately to keep his walls up, and he knows that seeing Sai's concern for him will make him melt. He is breaking entirely, and he is masking his pain under his bitterness and outward anger. And, the more he pushes her away, the more her feelings for him will come out... because, up until now, she has been able to mask them up and hide behind the deal to protect her heart. But, now, the fear of losing him is all encompassing, and all the barriers her mind put up are slowly collapsing...
Today, seeing this behavior from Virat, Sai had flashbacks to the anniversary episode. She recognized that this is the first time Virat has ever behaved like this with her. They have had horrible fights in which both of them spewed venom at each other, but never has Virat been this cold. The missing piece for her is still why- why was Virat so impacted by that fight that he is seemingly following through with ending all relations with her? As of now, she still thinks it is because of Pakhi... she thinks he has chosen her, and that is why he is behaving this way towards her. With Samrat's return and the possibility of Pakhi being set free, Sai's fears and insecurities were already at an all time high, and now Virat's behavior is pushing her over the edge. She says that she wants them to be united and that Pakhi deserves her rights with him. Again, this is the impact that Pakhi's behavior has had on Sai. It has made her think that Pakhi's love for Virat is eternal and that Sai has come in between them...that she has taken Virat away from her. Even in all of her pain, she just wants Virat to be happy, even if that is with Pakhi.
Finally we got much needed monologues from Sai. Many of us have been discussing this all along, but it was a breath of fresh air to see the makers finally giving the audience a direct insight into her feelings. When she is talking to her abba, she says she does not know how she will be okay without Virat. She acknowledges that she keeps saying deal, but it is more to her. Her heart and mind are at complete odds. Her mind keeps telling her that this is a deal, but her heart knows that it is so much more.... and she is finally letting her heart take over more than it has ever before. Just the fact that she acknowledged this out loud today was a huge step forward in her realization.
Sai berates herself for feeling this way, because she knew about Virat and Pakhi all along. Again, her mind knew and tried to keep her walls up, but her heart fell for Virat. Her mind always knew that this day would come when her relationship with Virat would have to end, but her heart accepted Virat as her husband. And seeing how Virat acted with her, seeing his affection for her, experiencing so many happy moments with him... she let herself believe that this could be real. Once again, it has all come crashing down on her. Once again, she has been shattered. She tells herself that she should not cry, because this was bound to happen. This mirror scene was absolutely heartbreaking. The way in which she is telling herself not to cry, because she knew this was bound to happen....but she could not control her heart. She says Sai Virat Chavan... that is her instinct. Her automatic reflex is to see herself as Virat's...but again, her mind comes in and corrects it to Sai Joshi. She repeats Joshi over and over again, as if to convince her heart that this is the reality now... Ayesha nailed the fake smile scene. The brokenness in her eyes was so clear. She says that she has to be happy for her abba, because without Virat, abba's memory is all she has.
***
Samrat and Sai are quickly becoming my favorite relationship in this show. The way in which they are able to understand each other is truly beautiful. Samrat is able to see through all of Sai's walls like no one else. He knows what it feels like to be in her position, and he is deeply perceptive. Samrat knows that Sai's problem with this marriage is the label of zimidari that it has been given. She is unable to forget it..and today, he asked her to look past that. He told her to believe herself- because he knows that she feels for Virat and that she senses that Virat feels for her too... she needs to have trust in the reality of those feelings. He told her that she needs to stop trying to control everything and leave the past behind...all things that she needed to hear, especially because Virat has failed to clarify time and time again, but she had no one to tell her. She has been trying to control how she feels using her mind, building her walls... the past has traumatized her to such an extent that she has been unable to let herself forget it (all understandably so). Her reflection began at the end of the episode, but of course, seeing bhabhi devar in the cafe will ruin it all for her once again....
Edited by tptwi - 4 years ago
Arjun
3